just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

[Adoree]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Baclofen

Hi JoAnn, I'm just joining in and having difficulty with ongoing conversations. There is a Schezophrenic outside my apt who is Screaming - meds, I hope Baclofen works for you - I'm trying the Kudzu.
Adoree

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

I just reread what I wrote earlier and it barely makes sense. Your response was about perfect.

joanna_d;1422989 wrote:

"she'e a nightmare hippie girl! she eats tofu, the size of Texas!"

Adoree's response really cracks me up, too. (Sorry, Adoree.) I can totally understand why it would be hard to follow since I do seem to be missing some nouns, or something that would clarify the subject matter of what the hell I was talking about.

Which is just that everything is going to be okay, just keep taking the damn pills. (Hopefully you got that, right Jo?)

My day has been a total cluster f*ck. Fortunately there is not a schizophrenic screaming anything outside of my own window. There is, at least, that.

Later!

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

you make perfect sense to me!

:l

[TexasAg]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

It made perfect sense to me too.

Maybe we're all just wackos on the same wavelength....

Cheers!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

in bed last night i was thinking oww i've probably put it totally in the wrong words and now Ne thinks i think she is a nightmare hippie or something!
which is not the case!! it's just this stupid song this guy sang to me. well, whatever. i've deleted it.

i'll try not to make jokes or puns again, at least till i'm completely sober. *digs hole in ground to crouch into*

your replies make perfect sense to me Ne, and they are dear to me!! i hope today will be better for you!

for me it's gonna be: driving through snow storms while they advise people to not drive, and working with a bunch of people till 10pm (then the ride home)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Don't you just hate the self-consciousness that comes along with all the writing and posting and sharing it all out there? I do. It still happens to me. Mostly now, though, I forget what I've written until some time later and then I think, "ugh! THAT was not what I meant to say at all!" Or that I've forgotten something. Or the worst, the absolute worst, is when I feel like something I said might've hurt someone's feelings.

But don't worry! I think the song is funny! And so are you! So keep it coming. Really.

There's also this secret that no one talks about but happens to just about everyone that posts regularly. It's the MWO obsession. It feels weird to think about an anonymous group of relative strangers a lot. But then again, we're going through some pretty tough/deep stuff. And I have gotten to the point where I think of it as my favorite place to visit. Like a bar. Without the booze (for me!). And I don't have to get dressed. (That's a WONDERFUL bonus of the internet, isn't it? Not that I'm thinking you people aren't dressed. [Yikes!] But I'm still in mismatched pajamas and haven't bothered to wash my face yet. I did brush my teeth though. )

Hope you're very careful and that today is a good one. I'm pretty sure today is going to be a little bit like yesterday. Which is really unfortunate. But I'm not going to get all twisted up about it today. Because in about ten minutes I'm going to meditate. Then shower and get to the gym and pick up a few girly-type weights (it's been a looooooong time) and dream about when I can play with the big boys in the big boy weight room again. And THEN I'll be ready to take on the bureaucratic bull shit and get some stuff done.

Rock on.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

well... bummer!! slept only 5 hours or so last night cause i came home so late and get to leave again so early. 5 hours is way too little for me now, but i made it.
yesterday night when i left there, it was like an lsd trip. the colors and the lights, the voices of the people around me, beyond expression. was happy to sit in my car after that, though the humming of the car drills through my brain, and my steer wheel shakes and the shaking tends to go through my whole body now.
don't know if this is a baclofen se, or further emerging hsp.

only ay 11 am, i discovered i'd left my baclofen at home..... (i would forget my ass right now, if it weren't attached to my back, i'm so absent-minded)
sooo, i had to drive back again. at first determined to go straight back there (another hour drive through humming & shaking hell) and then when i got here i thought i'd be mad to go back. like some saint of suffering or something. so i stayed at home and just let go.

feels kinda good! putting myself in first place and all

(i'll reply to your post later Ne)

[Xadrian]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna_d;1423788 wrote: I was happy to sit in my car after that, though the humming of the car drills through my brain, and my steer wheel shakes and the shaking tends to go through my whole body now.

I cant' help you with the side-effects of the baclofen, but maybe I can help you with the shaking of the steering wheel: Does it do so mainly around 70-80 km/h?

Then likely your front tires need to be balanced. Go to the nearest Kwik-Fit and they will do it for you for a few euro and that problem is solved! (They will also try to convince you with different arguments that you need to balance the rear tires too, but that does not cause shaking in the steering wheel).

If it also does so at other speeds, then maybe you have a bulge on one tire, which can be very dangerous (risk of blow-out).

Also other causes are possible, like worn out steering knuckles, but with the strict car inspections (APK) in the Netherlands, they would have seen it last time.

So, the balancing thing would be my best guess, especially if it occurs at the mentioned speed.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

omg. Xadrian knows things about cars. That is AWESOME X. (I love saying awesome around here since, from what I hear, you people on the other side of vast bodies of water like to make fun of us because we say awesome. I have one Dutch friend [Lowcountryman] who refused to believe that I use the word. But I do! Regularly and with full-smile enthusiasm. anyhooooo...) That's very cool that you are diagnosing her car, Xadrian.

I blamed all of my SEs on baclofen. It worked for me. Try it. It might work for you too! And likely it's the booze. But since the booze is a given until it's gone, and it's the booze/bac combo, might as well just blame it on the bac. (And actually, trippiness is something I can still experience when I'm a total dolt and I have to take a handful at a time because I've forgotten to take it all day. Yep. Do as I say, not as I do. That should be the asterisk next to every single thought/suggestion/advice I give. :H)

Glad you're still on you, Jo. Muy importante. Plus it's more fun that way. Until it stops being fun and then, oy vey, it's time to get out of your own skull/skin and go find someone else. (I'd warn you against falling in love--because bac/sobriety does that in a big, bad way! But my warning wouldn't work. So whatever! Carry on!)
I have to say, it does not sound like you should be driving. Is it just me? 'cause it would suck if you did a face-plant into that steering wheel. Ya' know?

Let's see. I've mixed a metaphor, used Spanish and Hebrew (Yiddish?) (poorly) and colloquial American. In what other ways can I be a dolt? Oh. Admitted that I take my bac completely erraticaly (sometimes) and should add that it is Not. Good. It annoys Ed. For good reason. I think it makes me moody, lethargic, out of sorts etc. (See. I'm still blaming it all on the bac. )

oop. Better get off the couch unless I want to spend another entire day here.
See ya later!

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

thanks X, you're right you know (yes, you know, don't you!! ) the guy at the garage already said yesterday morning (they put the winter tyres on it) that it looked like the wheel bearing of my left front wheel was worn out, and that i had to have it checked within a few weeks. they didn't make a point of it at the apk in august though. well whatever, back to the garage this week.
bummer again, cause me working so little over the last months was already giving me money problems.

awesome... i say that too! need i be self conscious about that also?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Apparently. But perhaps if you are saying it not over-loud and without the American accent and a big toothy grin it doesn't have the same annoying reverberations? Not sure...I prefer the whole shebang, annoyingness of it be darned.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

don't forget i'm a nitwit from holland. i'm just mimicking what i see, hear and read.
don't know if i ever said it aloud, come to think of it.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

i think i'm hanging in quite well in the shit storm i'm in

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

hi you all, ehm... strange days over here....

this saturday i got into an emotional discussion with a man i work with. we emailed, and emailed more on sunday. i felt he was doing me terribly wrong.
fortunately he gave me all credits in the end, which was only just, but it had gotten me completely upset in between trying to be as clear and non defensive and strong in my emails to him.
i drank way more than the few days before, when i did 4 8.5% beers (instead of at least 6 a night over the last months). this saturday i put away 6, and on sunday 7.... I was drinking without giving it a thought while typing, and then went on afterwards, to drown my upsettedness. crawled back into my old refuge, or trap, or crap, whatever you want to call it.
today i was kind of relieved it was resolved in a good way, and without me being angry, or victimized or anything in my writing to him,. i stayed calm and gave only my honest story.
but i felt so awful physically, i couldn't even enjoy the outcome, just felt so sick of it all.

fortunately had no obligations today. couldn’t have done anything really. walking my dog, reading, watching tv, no more in store for today.

then at 4.45 pm as every day i went to the store to buy a sixpack of those 8.5%. before I went I was thinking, hm, do i really crave beer right now? it took me 15 mins of just lingerging on to decide okay, let’s go.couldn’t just let go, i have to test it, and actually experience my loosing interest with beer right under my nose.
they had only special packages, with some stupid bottle opener of the brand, so instead of 6,5 euro’s, it cost me 10,10. I thought well what the fuck, this is all bullshit anyway.

the first beer took me 2 hours to drink. I even went for a walk with my dog while it was only half empty.
i thought o my god, it’s starting to happen. What the fuck do I do now???!!!! .................................... :H
next one (yeah, I know…) after an hour I threw the last half of it away and switched to tea.

i have 4 left in the fridge! i’ll probably just try one again after walking my dog (he’s doing his ‘victim of neglectant horribly cruel woman’ thing right now ☺), cause i can’t believe this.

by the way: could be that i took a double dose this morning. my short term memory totally sucks nowadays. i read this is a common side effect, that because like alcohol does (why you can black out while drinking heavily), gaba also has an effect on mostly your short term memory.

i'll have to get me a pill box tomorrow!!