OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

[bleep]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

All the best OW. Wait for your first baclofen hangover. They form one of the collection of life's firsts, up there with first kiss, first date, etc...

A very special hangover is coming your way, and I don't think there is anyone who has avoided it!

[omahawagon]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

I've read about the Bac hangover a few times in other journals...yikes! Honestly for the amount I drank (around 1/3rd of a bottle vs. half of it) the hangover was still worse than normal, and I have just started. So I can just imagine how wicked it is when you're up to a much higher dosage...

I think I could live life not knowing what that feels like, but suspect I won't be so lucky. Not looking forward to it, and will no doubt tell you all how right you were! :-)

[omahawagon]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Day 7: 10mgx4, 40 mg total, 5+ glasses of wine,
Day 8: 10 mgx3, 30mg total AF
Day 9: 12.5mgx4 50 mg total, 5-6 glasses of wine
Day 10, 11: 12.5mgx3, 37.5 mg total, AF
Day 11: 12.5mgx3, 37.5 mg total, 4 strong glasses of rum & diet (6+units)

Day 12: 62.5mg total. What a mess! I only took 10mg pills with me on my trip and got used to splitting those into in half/quarters, but when I got home I split some 25 mg pills in half for 12.5 doses. Weeeeelllll...tonight I grabbed a 25mg AND half a 25mg instead of a 10mg and half a 10mg, in addition to the 12.5mgx2 earlier in the day. CRAP. So I am feeling that now with all all over wibbly wobbly loopy feeling. It's not horrible, but not recommended!

Anyway: on to the last few days. So much for my plans not to drink...turns out a family member, with whom I was staying to help clean out my grandparents house, enjoys a few drinks at night too so I decided I *needed* wine. Got drunk on less than normal, then felt like hell the next day every time. Wondered why the HELL I keep doing this to myself. Then did it again...DUMB.

It seems to work fine for me to take doses every 4 hours (i.e. 4x a day rather than 3) which means I will titrate up a bit faster as long as it continues to feel ok. I would have continued to do that above, but being away from home really messed up my schedule and I would forget the time, then end up going 6 hours+ between doses and thus unable to get in a 4th dose safely. So that's the reason for the dosing inconsistency over the last 5 days.

Back on track now other than messing up tonights dose! I think I will pick up a pill box tomorrow to get a bit more consistent.

Other than the occasional wonky feeling, so far so good. Now I'm going to go sleep off this big mistake dose! :wow:

[omahawagon]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Also...after reading Man on Mars posts I thought I should add that, like many before me, I am having some pretty bizarroland dreams. In fact, I had some on Friday night that had me questioning reality...they felt SO real that, recalling them later in the day, I momentarily felt events had really happened before remembering it was only a dream. Thankfully most of them are mundane and not nightmarish. In fact I've had some pretty awesome adventures at night!

[bleep]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

It's very easy to mess up your dose, especially when you are in the higher doses, and not altogether there in the brains department. A pillbox helps. At least you know what it feels like now!

[MaryGoRound]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Thank you for reminding me about the Bac hangovers. It is a good reason not to start. I have been having a voice nudging me along to just have just a few drinks...

As I mentioned in my thread I am trying for abstinence. It is hard.

Thanks for sharing.

[omahawagon]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Day 11: Felt like crap all day due to taking way too much Bac the night before, skipped the morning and noon dosage, and took 2x10mg later in the day. Drank a few rum and diets because I really convinced myself that was the only way to get over the crappy feeling. It worked for a couple hours, I paid the next day. Not a good trade

Day 12: Felt like crap all day from the rum and diets (Bac Hangovers SUCK people). Toox 2x10mg, 1 x 15 mg, total of 35 mg. AF.

Day 13: 3x10mg, 1x15mg, 45mg total, AF.
Day 14: 2x10mg, 2x15 mg, 50mg total. AF
Day 15: 2x12.5mg, 2x 15mg, 55mg total. AF.

General observations:

1) The evening dose of 15mg has been kicking my butt. I get completely tired about 2 hours after taking it and have to fight the urge to go to sleep. I am usually following this schedule: 1st dose by 9 a.m., 2nd dose around 1 p.m., 3rd dose at 5 p.m., and the final dose at bedtime. So around 7 p.m. I am about ready to fall asleep, have blurry vision, and sometimes get an overall numb feeling in my arms and face.

2) I am sleeping well...I wake several times a night, but this is typical of AF nights anyway. Still having weird dreams, but none are nightmarish thankfully.

3) In general the Bac seems to be providing a sense of calm, i.e. anti-anxiety properties. I would not by any stretch call it a euphoric feeling but it is quite welcome and I imagine this is one of the ways bac helps to prevent cravings.

4) I have been drinking a ton of water to keep myself from being thirsty and confusing that with craving booze and help detox my system, and feel that is helping me feel better as well.

5) This is my 5th AF day which in itself is unusual, but I was out of town over the weekend which generally makes it easier not to drink as opposed to being at home. Watching the news (the Boston bombings happened today for those reading this in the future) makes me want to go get some booze, but I am holding out for now...mainly because I know what a freakin' Bac hangover feels like now and that is a massive deterrent!!!

[RedThread12]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Great log, OW. Thanks. This is exactly the kind of information that will help a LOT of people with their plans and expectations about the bac-path. All of your points are significant, and, IMHO, especially your mention of feeling the "let-down" of anxiety; and that drinking a lot of water is a really good thing when taking baclofen. I gained quite a bit of weight in the first months. My "rear-view" analysis of that is that I was actually de-toxing - with no symptoms, because of the bac - and I should have been drinking a lot MORE water for that, and to support my kidneys to process out the bac.

All of that weight, and a lot more, disappeared. Very happy about that. And I'm such a lucky girl . . bac started working right away for me, and in 3.5 years I've never had the dreaded "bac hangover." Nor do I plan to drink enough, ever again in my entire remaining life, for that. This MIGHT be the first time in my entire life that I'm not driven to find out via my own experience what that might be like! :H:H

I do, however, still have absurd, vivid dreams. And some very unpleasant ones, at that. Even so, that has turned into on-going study and work with "lucid dreaming." I've been successful several times at recognizing "this is so horrible it must be a dream." I usually wake up for a moment to orient myself, and go back to sleep. Although in the past year I've done a LOT of moving around, and sometimes it takes a while to piece together where I am and what the next day is bringing.

Kind of like, but much different, far more bearable, and with much greater potential than "oh, gawd, I passed out drunk, feel like shite . . . where am I? What day is it?" Onward!! All the best to you.!

After some time with baclofen, I quit taking an anti-depressant that had been prescribed for 4-5 years. I think I did have some SE's from that. Never really sorted which "zaps" were due to what. And they all passed, eventually. Onward!! All the best to you!

[Cassander]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Omaha, I swear I don't mean to hijack your thread. Its just that I have been meaning to ask Red to expand/expound a little about Kabir and the meaning of "Wherever you are is the entry point." Red, please do...

Thanks,

Cass

[RedThread12]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Kabir is 15th century poet whose work is revered in many spiritual traditions. Kind of a rebel, as was Rumi (12th century), Hafiz . . . some other "mystical poets," whose words blur the distinction between the divine within and the divine "out there."

And here I thought this line perfectly self-explanatory! :H

To me, it says, quite pithily, wherever we are (circumstances, conditions, etc.,), if we give up judging it all, IS (notice he didn't say can be, or could be) an entry point into the "mystery." And new and different dimensions of life. More often than not, my life-crises have actually been powerful and beneficial "turning point." Remembering that, while they are happening, helps!

Finding MWO was an "entry point" for me. And so many more incredible moments when I thought things were going one way and discovered something completely different!! I like it like that!! I spend a lot of time being amazed at the way of it all. Which rarely includes how I've planned. :H:H

If you're interested, PM me, and I can introduce you these guys who had a lot of stuff figured out a long, long time ago. Their words carry great humor and pathos that remain rich and relevant. (IMHO)

"Do you think for one breath or half-breath that I know what I'm doing?
No more than the pen knows what it is writing, or the ball knows where it is going next." --- Rumi

[Colin]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

RedThread12;1493399 wrote:
And here I thought this line perfectly self-explanatory!

Oh but it is. No explanation needed.

[Cassander]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

RedThread12;1493399 wrote: ...
And here I thought this line perfectly self-explanatory! :H

...

Hi Red

Thanks very much. Like everything else, there are dimensions...

My take away, for anxious worriers like me who often believe that problems are overwhelming and solutions too difficult, is that "right now" is often the best time to start addressing issues.

For example, as I passed from my 30s to my 40s to my 50s, I exercised less and less, I ate more and more and I got fatter and fatter. I "knew" the solution...start exercising and eat...and drink!...less. But I always decided it was too hard to do today and to wait until tomorrow. It wasn't until my mid-50s that I somehow realized the time to do it was NOW. Of course, I didn't know exactly how to do it. What I actually finally did was to begin walking...just walking...to work, from work, to the store, around the block... It turned out to be my entry point into a better life and over time I was able to start running and working out and doing other things, eat and sleep better, and, yes, eventually quit drinking.

Is that what Kabir meant?

(To Omaha -- again apologies for going off topic)

[RedThread12]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

I think we each get to decide for ourselves what Kabir was pointing toward with his words, "entry point." But from the outside, your experience certainly sounds as if you found an entry point. And just think, wherever you are is, STILL, the entry point! :h

[omahawagon]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Thanks for the posts guys, I really enjoyed them! And anyone can feel free to 'hijack' this thread at any time, we are all here to learn off each other and support where we can!

Red, I had the zaps years ago when I quit Zoloft...they were weird for sure. So if you were coming off a SSRI I would bet that was the cause rather than the Bac, but you never know. It's awesome that you hit the switch straight away, I am hoping that mine is coming!

I ended up drinking on day 15, but not much (well, not as much as normal at least). Still felt the hangover was worse than it should have been but wasn't as bad as the ones last week.

Day 16: 15mgx4, 60mg total. AF.
Day 17: 15mgx4, 60 mg total, drank around 8 units of alcohol.
Day 18: 15mgx2, 20mgx2, 70 mg total, AF so far...tempted to have a few but powering through.

General observations:

1) Since starting Bac, I have only drank 6 out of 18 nights, which is far better than my pre-Bac average of 4-5 nights a week. I am also drinking less...the 1.5 liter bottle of rum I bought Tuesday is only about 1/3rd gone, whereas it would normally be half gone after 2 drinking nights. So while I am not at the switch I would suggest there are already positives going on here...which must stand for something!

2) I am really liking the fact that I can come here and not be judged. I was previously on another board where some members made people who weren't good at sobriety feel like losers...sort of a holier-than-thou "look, I was a massive drunk and *I* quit, so you're just not trying hard enough...just don't drink!" attitude. Being able to honestly journal here and not be judged is really healthy feeling!

3) I have my annual physical soon...and I am trying to figure out how to convince my doctor to write me a prescription for Bac. She gave me a prescription for a different muscle relaxant last month for my TMJ...which did nothing but make my stomach upset. So I am trying to decide how to approach the "I tried Baclofen and it worked" conversation, i.e. how I got the Bac to 'try' in the first place...if I can get a script, even for 80mg/day or under, that would be awesome since my insurance will cover it.

[RedThread12]

OmahaWagon's Bacflofen Journal

Yes, Omaha! It was 100mg Zoloft I stopped cold. But my primary SE's from bac have been tingling all over (not so bad, at all) and "zaps" that some people have said get so intense they drop glasses or whatever from their hands. But I actually felt "zaps" when I was practically dead-drunk, too :H :upset:

Great to have you here; your records will benefit a lot of people. My early experiences with bac, in the early days of its appearance on this board, were so different than most. And the general tenor of the board was so different (kudos to Lo0p and Ne for blowing down the doors!!) that I was reluctant to report. And now I realize, remiss, in making a record. Thank all the gods and goddesses - some of whom appear under aliases here on THIS board -for all the contributions to the bac-knowledge pool!!

BTW, Omaha . . . if that is where you are, think 2 States down, and there I am!! Right in the middle of progressive U.S. culture we are, eh? NOT :nutso:

You're less than 3 weeks, in at a relatively small dose, and getting, from my eyes, pretty phenomenal results. My only suggestion is to notice, as much as you can, every moment you do not craving alcohol. Breathe in and savor those sensations. Don't cling to them as if you will never crave again; and don't worry when/if cravings come. Stay your course with the bac. And even from here - wherever you are - you never, ever have to go back to where you were.