Here we go again

[Lostinspace]

Stevo - Once again, I’m very sorry I haven’t responded. The truth is, I’ve been in full escapist mode, in the form of smoking weed. Even though I promise myself every day that I won’t do it that night, I do. Anyway, so when I said I didn’t know why I was feeling painfully shy - well, that isn’t exactly true. Smoking makes posting impossible for me. I would spend 45 minutes to an hour (because I kept getting distracted) typing out a post to you, but then I would read it back and realize it made no sense, so I would delete the whole thing and get frustrated. That happened three nights in a row. And I smoked a little tonight, but not as much, so hopefully this won’t be deleted. I apologize for being a jerk.

In any case, I’m glad to hear the antidepressants are at least taking the edge off, even if they’re not the cure. Although I’m sorry you’re still struggling so much. Hopefully the rest will come with time, as you accumulate those moments of lightness that pop up here and there now that the darkest depression has lifted a little. It also helps if you can exercise. Is there anything you can do that won’t aggravate your foot, like swimming? As for the drinking, I don’t know if that was just a holiday excess kind of thing, but if it’s still ongoing, it might be helpful to go up on baclofen while at the same time making an effort to cut back on the drinking. It’s worth a try. Anyway, hang in there. Things will get better. And thanks for checking in. In the future I will be more responsive, when I stop acting like a high school burnout.

Stuck!!! It’s so nice to see you Although I know you probably won’t see this post. Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re getting back to a healthier routine. I hope you’ll check in every once in a while. We miss you here.

In the near future I will post an update myself, when I have something more positive to say, other than I’ve been going to work, smoking and falling asleep while watching tv.

[knobert]

I am unlikely to be posting any more, but did just want to acknowledge your posts, Stevo, & wishing you the best.

Molly, I'm sorry that you feel that way but I understand. You did not say NEVER! I really want to keep seeing you here.

With anticipation
Knobert

[StuckinLA]

Eh I'll try to be around now and then. I do miss you guys. All my schools have started now, so I'm teaching 5 days a week now - which feels utterly ridiculous. But I went to the gym again today, after class. I'm using the free 7 day intro pass at the local ymca. I like that there's a pool, it's almost entirely old people, and it's a nonprofit organization. So I think I'm going to join. And it is stupidly easy to get to from my m/w/f classes.

Sorry you're smoking when you don't want to, Lis. Doing anything compulsively is hard.

[MeJustMe]

Hello everyone, I'm back.

I took my family to the north NSW coast for two week's holiday just after Xmas. It was good for all of us to get away, but especially me. My grieving tap turned off quite a bit. I wasn't always reminded of my mum. I was and am still drinking, now at 185mg Bac per day. I think indifference is close.
I feel sad about how this section of mywayout has been hijacked by one person. Everyone else seems to get along for the most part, but one person seems to always upset many. Anyway, take care.

[Stevo]

MJM glad to hear that your holiday was good and you didn't think about your mum too much.I hope that indifference is close for you too,it's amazing what a new environment can do.
It would have been nice to meet,wherever you were wouldn't have been too far from me but I understand the logistics of taking your family on holiday LOL.

[MeJustMe]

Thanks Stevo. I would like to catch up with you one day. Occasionally my work sends me your way. Although, we must be careful One alcoholic talking to another, that's how AA started.

I forgot to mention that a week or two before I last saw mum, I became depressed. I only saw it with the benefit of hindsight, but I was finding it hard to enjoy things that I would usually enjoy, finding it hard to work etc. I increased my Effexor dose from 150mg to 225mg after Xmas, but I recently reduced to 150mg. It was effecting me n ways I won't go into, but it did the trick for the time I was most depressed.

Also, I've joined the french Bac forum. My schoolboy french is terrible, but I'm hoping there's no SF over there...

Forum alcoolisme, alcool et autres addictions - Alcoolisme et baclofène

[Lostinspace]

MJM - Thanks for the update. I’m glad you had the chance to get away for a while. Getting out of your usual environment turned out to be a great way to distance yourself from the grief. I hope you get to indifference soon, too. When you say you think indifference is close, is that because your cravings are down? And I'm sorry to hear about the depression. That's the worst time it could have hit is right before you're bombarded by grief. I'm glad it's eased now. Oh, and I’m so jealous about the French forum thing. I took French for four years in school, from 7th to 10th grade, but then I learned Spanish and proceeded to forget everything I ever knew about French. For real. People say it can’t happen, but the struggle is real. Anyway, it was good to hear from you.

[MeJustMe]

I've hit the switch -- two nights now and no drinking. Partly because I pulled forward some of my evening dose to mid-afternoon, and partly because my wife has gone overseas for a week and there's no booze in the house.

Side effects were sleepiness early in the first evening that I pulled forward the dose and both nights falling asleep relatively early for me -- 9.30 -- then waking at midnight and awake for an hour or so.

Still, it's good to be on the right track. I intend to stay on 185mg for six months, as seems to be the recommendation of French doctors at the moment (as gleaned from the French Bac forum baclofene.com)

[Lostinspace]

Congratulations on reaching the switch MJM! I remember reading something about timing your doses around the times that you have cravings on MWO at some point or another, but I don’t remember where. I’m really glad it’s working out for you.

I didn’t know the recent advice was to stay at your switch for six months. I just (three days ago) started titrating down from my switch dose after four and a half months. Now I wonder if I should go back up again since it’s only been a few days. I wish I could read the French forum. Google translate is pretty awful and I can only understand about 75% of it.

[MeJustMe]

Yes the French forum is full of great stuff -- but accessing it can be quite hard. My French isn't bad but it still takes a bit of work to understand it.

I found a thread from a guy there whose Dr went to a Bac conference in Avignon and the six months on switch dose was the recommendation from that conference.

The thread that asks people to respond with what their switch dose was, when cravings hit during the day. what their dose regieme was, what level of side effects they had etc was also v interesting.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Congratulations, MJM! Very happy for you! How does it feel?

I haven't tried to slog through much of the French forum yet...What I would do to speak even a little of it! Damn Spanish classes aren't helping at all.

[Baclofenman]

Hi

Follow this link to have it translated, fully including links (any missing translation links can be ctrl C and ctrl V into the Google translate box found here)

Regards



Bacman

[Stevo]

Thanks for that Baclofenman.

I was sure that when I looked at it the other day that it was a translated version.I have been thinking that it would be helpful to the guys that are interested in here,so you have saved me looking for and doing it.

Cheers Stevo.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hi

Follow this link to have it translated, fully including links (any missing translation links can be ctrl C and ctrl V into the Google translate box found here)

Regards



Bacman

Thanks for making it so simple. Much appreciated.