Can't Take It

[janka]

Can't Take It

I think I'll be okay as far as the beer goes for a bit more, at least. I have wrestled with the question to stay or go many, many times over. I know he won't argue about me keeping the kids and the house. We'll see, I just need to sleep well tonight. He wasn't always such a creep ... he's extremely defensive and thinks he's right. He thinks he has been a good husband, whatever that means. Enough said ... things change many time in a day, sometimes an hour, and I should just be more patient with myself, whatever. Thanks for all the posts and boosts. So far so good, despite some challenges along the way. Hope all of you are well, j

[Niblet]

Can't Take It

Janka, Hon please allow us to be that soft place for you to fall if you need to... Take Good Care of You and your kids... Hugs and stay strong for You,

[janka]

Can't Take It

Thanks Niblet, there can be no softer place on earth,and for that, I am eternally grateful! hope all is wwll

[julie001]

Can't Take It

An important thing to remember is that whether you remain married or if you end up divorced, you still need to have a plan to cut back or abstain. Dive into this program. It's for people in all phases of drinking issues. It's a place to find sympathy, empathy, advice, and laughs. And in turn, you can offer all of that to others here as it its needed. Good luck.

Julie

[janka]

Can't Take It

thanks julie, i agree and i know, i know. i will abstain for now ... am not making any promises for an indefinite future ... my husband is a very difficult man ... i used to think because he drank, but he's sober for nearly 20 yrs ... i'm not sure what i will actually do ... made an appointment with a lawyer today though

[Finding My Self]

Can't Take It

Janka - good luck today. A singe step towards a brighter future even if it doesn't seem it at times. Glad to have you here - it's a most wonderful place isn't it?!

Hugs
Finding x

[janka]

Can't Take It

Hi Feet, and thanks ... yes, yes .... this is truly a wonderful place ... could not have made it so far without all of you

[janka]

Can't Take It

hi everyone, today is day 14 AF ... thanks to all of you. I'm in a pickle though ... my hubby took off, won't answer his phone, while i call my daughter (who is out) and her voice is garbled on the cell phone, although i can hear something about 'dad." anyway, i've tried to call her and my husband several times and neither answers ... it's cruel ... I left messages for him that I need to know where she is ... he won't pick up/won't call. I brought her to the movies at 4:00 pm ... it's now 8:00 pm and i'm beside myself ... hubby does this not answering the phone thing frequently ... I can understand he does not want to talk with me ... but what if something is wrong with my kids? I absolutely hate his cruelty ... he has no clue what he does to me ... this stuff drives me daffy ... good thing no beer here

[Suzanna]

Can't Take It

He is really testing you Janka, don't give in! He wants you to drink that beer!!! Then he is right and you are wrong. You are so strong to stay AF 14 days now, that probably is driving him crazy. Sounds like he is a real sh*the*d, ya know? Stay AF and that will be the best revenge! I'm sure your kids are okay and I am sure he has a clue what he is doing to you, he totally has a clue, but you don't have to play that game anymore. Good luck, :h :l Suz

[YoungAtHeart]

Can't Take It

Maybe your daughter is with him?? Try not to worry too much. This fellow really knows how to jerk your chain, and I wouldn't be surprised if he is trying to do so right now by using your anxiety about the kids. Stay strong, Janka!

I agree with Suzanna. I think this guy feels more comfortable with you drunk than sober. That way he can feel smug and superior and self-righteous. Try not to cave, and prepare yourself for lots of head games.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Mags]

Can't Take It

Hi Janka
I'm sorry I got in on this thread late. There have been so many to keep up with lately. I know I enjoyed talking to you one night in chat. My goodness, gal, you have been doing so incredibly well. You are an absolute pillar of strength.
After reading through this thread, it seems to mean that your husband is angry because when you were drinking he probably had a lot more control over you. Now that you have the guts to be sober, he has lost a lot of that control and he is trying to get it back in other ways. You are going to have to put up with this crap I'm afraid until the divorce goes through. You are strong. Please let us help you stay strong.
I admire you so much.
Good luck to you. Call on us ANYTIME for ANYTHING.

[Beaches]

Can't Take It

Janka, I too am getting here late. I think you are doing the best thing for yourself. You need to remain strong and show him that you can stand alone if needed. He is being very mean and playing head games. I hate that. It's all about power. Ya know what? You have the power, you are AF and he has nothing on you!

[janka]

Can't Take It

Hi and thanks very, very much over and over again. i left him several messages saying I couldn't get in touch with my daughter and that I was very concenred-- he shut off his phone (you can tell). anyway, my daughter did call me, she lost cell service ... i went to get her, she's fine and sleeping now. He called her, not me, to make sure she was okay. What a fucking creep ... has no clue. (Earlier today, he said he was the one having a nervous breakdown because of me! okay ... it's only the way he can see things.) Anyway, came home, went to visit a friend (our daughters hang out together since they were 3), sat under her gazebo, drinking diet coke, and chatting about the patience we need to suffer. I am still pretty remarkably AF, but have this urge to say fuck you, have a beer and go to sleep peacefully. Won't do that. thank you many times over and so very sorry to be a pain. Hope all of you are well, j

[lucky 2.0]

Can't Take It

FREEDOM is THE BEST!

[Bluebell]

Can't Take It

Lucky...... you are great because you shoot from the hip!