The shakes

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

I lost my shakes and shivers and sweats and the need to barf. So I'm obviously sufficiently liquored for now. Yet I want to rush to the liquor store. My mind is telling me that this is just in case I start the withdrawals again. Am I only lying to myself? I need to figure out how long it takes me to go from feeling like I'm okay and not going to die to feeling like I am going to die with the shakes and shivers and need to barf. If I wait an hour, will I be into withdrawals? I am so afraid of that coming on that I want to rush out for more booze. But, if I do that, then I end up over-boozing myself. I'm probably not making much sense.

[betty boop]

The shakes

Hi, the more that you drink your tolerance level will increase so the shakes and barfing come back quicker!!!! I know this from experience!!!! The shakes and heaving will pass too .... This is going to sound really strange but when I was in that state and I really wanted to kick it then I used to turn it round in my head and said that it was good to feel rough because It meant that I was winning ......I used to put my radio on full blast and dance like a madwoman for 5 minute until the feeling passed ........

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

My latest and greatest thought

I'll call the detox place to see if they have an open bed. I'll tell them I can't make it up there until [whatever time]--I still have a few loads of laundry to do, dishes to do, a shower to take and a bag to pack. If I cut myself off, I should be sober enough to drive by [whatever time]. Shaky and sweaty, but sober enough to get my ass there. Good plan? Bad plan? Unrealistic plan?

[betty boop]

The shakes

Do you have a friend or neighbour that could drive you there???

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

betty boop;249792 wrote: Hi, the more that you drink your tolerance level will increase so the shakes and barfing come back quicker!!!! I know this from experience!!!! The shakes and heaving will pass too .... This is going to sound really strange but when I was in that state and I really wanted to kick it then I used to turn it round in my head and said that it was good to feel rough because It meant that I was winning ......I used to put my radio on full blast and dance like a madwoman for 5 minute until the feeling passed ........

This sounds oh so familiar. If I didn't have neighbors, I'd be blasting away. If my portable CD player had a belt clip, I'd be blasting away (maybe not, though, as it's older and skips a lot). Dancing like a madwoman sounds so good right now. Doing anything like a madwoman sounds good. I've got so much crap built up inside of me. I need to get it out. I'd ride my bike, but I'm afraid I'd get a biking DUI.

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

betty boop;249800 wrote: Do you have a friend or neighbour that could drive you there???

The only person I know in this town is my neighbor. (I'm a blink away from being agoraphobic.) He refuses to drive me there. He said it didn't do me any good the previous times and it won't do me any good this time so why bother. (He's got Asperger's Syndrome and doesn't always think clearly or logically (sort of like a drunk, actually).) He's also been my drinking buddy, which might have something to do with it.

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

Ugh.

My neighbor was just over. I told him of my plan to sober up enough to drive myself to detox. Being the supportive man that he is, he said, "Don't go there! They keep you forever and they don't do a thing for you!" He's right in many ways. But they can get me safely detoxed, which I can't seem to be doing myself. He told me I look a helluva lot better than I did yesterday, but does that mean anything?

[dexterhead]

The shakes

don't listen to your neighbor Pink. I think you should try to get up to detox .. not safe to do it yourself. But I don't know much about the detox bit, just want you to be safe. thinking of you Pink!! :l

[betty boop]

The shakes

So put some music on your PC and dance ........ as mad as you like

[Guest]

The shakes

I don't go to detox because it was a waste of time and money last time - ?3650 didn't stop me for good. The only thing that has ever stopped me for any length of time was, um me - and I managed 6 months (with a one evening slip in the middle).

I have booked myself in since, even vomitted my way around the admission room. Was checking myself out within 36 hours and ?800 lighter. I knew I shouldn't be there. I got sober at home that time.

Please don't drive - you could possibly have so much in your system it may take a day or two to clear. You liver handles 1 unit per hour. I lost my licence breathlysed 81/2 hours after my last drink.

Dishes and laundry - can someone else honestly not do them for you? Sounds like an excuse. I had someone from my family volunteer to come round, tidy my flat etc. When I got back it was a load off my mind. They also collected my mail etc. They were just glad I was somewhere safe.

Since then I have talked about going into detox/rehab many, many times - I think it's gotten to be one of those drunken, easy get out ideas. It may work for some, not for me and maybe not for you.

If you can put it down now, bear out the next 24 hours you could feel better without having to leave home, you could get better sooner.

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

dexterhead;249833 wrote: don't listen to your neighbor Pink. I think you should try to get up to detox .. not safe to do it yourself. But I don't know much about the detox bit, just want you to be safe. thinking of you Pink!! :l

Thanks for caring, Dexter.

I am really thinking of going the route of sobering up enough to drive myself. I'm just afraid I won't be accurate when I think I'm "sober enough." I really do NOT like the idea of being behind the wheel when I'm not fully capable of driving. (I worked in a law firm for too many years. Time and time again, a person thought he/she was "capable of driving," and ended up in a bad--sometimes fatal--accident.

[Sweetgum]

The shakes

Good luck Pink, will be thinking of you x

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

I can't believe how small the steps are that I must take to get out of this mess. At 12:30 p.m., I promised myself I wouldn't take another sip or swig until 1 p.m.--a whole half hour away. That seems so HUGE right now! Mount Kilimanjaro huge.

Doesn't this sound so insane?!

I once worked for someone who was a climber. Big time climber. He (and his buddies) climbed at least every year or two. One year they went climbing, I believe it was Mount Everest. They got a long way up. One of the climbers fell into a crevice. The other climbers tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried (and a lot more trieds) again to get him out. They couldn't. Finally, they had to leave him there to die. I feel like that man who fell in the crevice. Eventually, I will be left to die.

[Long Road]

The shakes

We wont let you Pink. Can U get a cab?

I can transfer money to you through Paypal/Visa/Amex?

David

[pinkpeppercorns]

The shakes

Long Road;249856 wrote: We wont let you Pink. Can U get a cab?

I can transfer money to you through Paypal/Visa/Amex?

David

What a dear! I probably could get a cab, but this place is an hour away. I don't even want to begin to think of the cost. But thank you!