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[keeta]

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Winefree,
thank you so much, that means a lot

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

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Keeta- here are three of my favorite quotes:

You have NO control over what the other guy does.
You only have control over what you do. :exclaim:
~A. J. Kitt



Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you. :bonkers: ull
~G. M. Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)


This life is yours.
Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.
Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly.
Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature.
Take the power to control your own life.
No one else can do it for you.
Take the power to make your life happy.
~Susan Polis Schutz :flower:

[dexterhead]

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Keeta!! I am here for you! In June 2006, I was fired by a company I'd worked for several years. I had killed myself for this company ... anyway, had recently gotten a new manager, he was an idiot, I worked on hiding my feelings about him, but we clashed numerous times. He invented a justification for firing me, and he did. I went through hell. I did get unemployment benefits thought. Are you were in the U.S.?

[Long Road]

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Keeta!

I understand so well the feeling of loneliness in its' advanced stages. It's no longer merely the pain of being alone, but the shame of loneliness. I know it too well.

I do know that I can't beat it without sobriety, however

[HopefulNow]

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I've not been laid off (yet -- feel it's just a matter of time, actually), but have many friends and family who have been.

No two ways around it: it SUCKS, even if it's a "business" decision, and nothing whatsoever to do with your skills, or you personally. Everyone has already given stellar advice, to which I'd only add (and this is a HUGE cliche): look at as an opportunity. What had your job been holding you BACK from, that you could have been doing, if only you'd had the freedom, and the time?

1.) something more meaningful professionally/personally, that also paid a salary?
2.) something equally lucrative, but that also gave you more time for other pursuits, such as reading/exercise/volunteering/travel/harmonica/dominos/whatev?
3.) something COMPLETELY different, like, I dunno, a nunnery?

Good thing I'm not in career counseling, eh?

-HopefulNow

[keeta]

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Not Happy...love it:
Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you...
how true!!

dexter,no, I am in Canada, and I hope i can atleast get EI (have never collected in my life), it is amazing how much your life can downward spiral when you aren't looking.....crap

Long Road.you are a stonger soul than i then.somehow i am not strong enough to beat my lonliness.mine eats at me like a bad virous(sp?)!

Hopeful....it had been holding me back...and i hope i have the strength to move on to more positive (sober) things!.....

you guys are so awesome....thank you SO much for caring enough to post to an idiot like me!!!!!!

[Finding My Self]

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Keeta.....you poor ol' stick! It's like watching me all over again! You remember I talked about the ups and downs of the first weeks? I so remember this 'terrible temper' I had 'suffered' from all my life (or everyone else had seemingly!) rearing its ugly head so massively in those times.....but it was just that I could see it (and feel it!) so hugely because I didn't numb it out with booze.

I thought I would surely get locked up! And my then partner looked at me one day and said, "But you're not meant to be like this any more?!?" which was (a) quite funny coz (b) Ihad - fotunately by then - reached a point of realising that I had woekn up to the fact that I was letting people put me so down, hurt me, treat me the way that I didn't like and emorions around that were acceptable. I was being firm and 'angry' but not full of rage! YEA! He still didn't like it but tough!

I say all that because it was then I realised I had moved on from the sort of tantrum stage! (Well, it was for me!) At a week AF I was all over the place.....absolutely full of rage and tears and I dunno how I actually got through...except that time (and here) did its healing and I found that new place of inner strength....I found my feet! (My old 'screen' name!)

The only thing I think I did was to stay AF at ALL costs... and the 'space' that gave me allowed me to re-assess areasof my past and present life....

I have been less rageful - even just less angry! - than ever before in my life since this happened....strange coz I wasn't drunk at 15....or even for the next 30+ years! But I still swallowed it all down feeling I had no right to cherish myself....the sh*t I put up with, can't beleive it now! All becuase I felt I had no right to ever say NO! (or just, "Ouch"!)Something would happen/something would be said, I'd feel the ouch, squash it down and reach for the bottle!

No, I step back, check out if it's my 'paranoia' (which alcohol can worsen considerably!), find mostly now that it is not; it's sense, and ssay NO. And the sky doesn't fall in! YEA! And I don't even think of a drink! At all!

I'm rambling on - you'll find 'tis my wont! - in case there is something you can use to help.

But rest assured, it passes, it's hell when you're in these acutely felt emotions for a while, but don't drink and you'll be amazed! And no one here will think bad of you for feeling them...we've felt 'em! Let them 'teach' you to be really happy at last!

Love and hugs anyways! Keep posting....
FMS xx

[keeta]

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Finding..........sweeitie,how is it you have become my port in a storm?.how is it i could care so much for someone i known so little about? i see you post and i get this small little rush of calmthank you SO much for caring and sharing.i hope you are doing ok??? the clock here is past 12 so can i count a day now???LOL

[keeta]

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crap...i had an entire post that disappeared.it had a bunch of witty crap and thanks,,Not Happy.....dex...Long road.Hopeful.thank you so much for caring enough to post...i almost feel unworthy of your concern and caring...it means a LOT....thank you so much for caring enough to p0st to a goober like me in need!

[Finding My Self]

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Twelve hours from the last count is a day for sure, Keeta!! You count'em up! See, they're happening!

I'm doing ok thanks....(I'm just not listening to any news or reading/seeing any newspapers!!)

Ride the roller-coaster, Keeta.....just hang on and it calms down soon! Keep your posts (and add to them?) in a file on your poota maybe? A place to go if you ever have the urge in the future.....sure put me off; never want to go back there again!!!

Here's to lots of rushes of calm.

LOve FMS xx