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    #16
    Depressed

    Somewhat better

    Hello all,
    Thanks for your good thoughts. I was able to talk to my husband both last night and today, about the depression and MWO/drinking. I also made an appt with my OB/GYN but that's not for about a week and a half. My hubby thinksI ought to try to get in to see someone sooner, whether a therapist or regular dr. (he doesn't think seeing my ob/gyn is the right approach, but I trust her and don't really have a regular dr. for over 2 yrs -- altho that dr did write me a script for Topa in early '06, which I never filled.) I haven't been AF, and I know that is possibly the biggest issue. I didn't have very much last night, though, so felt OK this morning. I told hubby how hard it is to not drink (although was not really an issue when I was pregnant) and he thinks it's the depression/self-medicating. He drinks too, and I would like him to cut back with me, but I don't think he will.

    Thank you to the old-timers who have responded, as well as new voices. the comfort helps.

    CS

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      #17
      Depressed

      BTW, I am not taking any anti-depressants. Not sure if that is the way to go, or the Topa/supps full-on MWO program. Again, I am worrying about safety while breastfeeding, which I don't want to stop (although my son is 19 mos. old, it's important to me). I did a search but didn't come up with much.

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        #18
        Depressed

        CS - Definitely bring that up with your ob/gyn about the anti d's. They can tell you if there are ones that are safe to take while breastfeeding.
        Marcie

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          #19
          Depressed

          CS....so very glad to hear you are a little better. I went and bought kudzu recovery today and my husband said he might try taking it, too. I called around and none of the stores in our area stock kudzu rescue, which I may order soon. There may be an important difference in the ingredients. I have only made it through day 2 AF and we are going over to our friends' house to grill out and I am very worried about slipping, but one of the guests who will be there doesn't drink at all and that will help me. My husband is supportive of my trying hard tonight and says I'm the 'designated driver.' I really want this to work and I have gained 20 pounds and feel bad about that, too.
          Thank goodness you are going to the doctor. I have trouble admitting how much I drink. I really appreciate this website. The very best of luck to you.

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            #20
            Depressed

            CS, to echo Memarcie I'd definitely speak to a doc and see about getting some relief. I went on citalopram last March and I really think it's helped me quite a bit. stay in touch!
            nosce te ipsum
            (Know Thyself)

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              #21
              Depressed

              I was treated for clinical depression 9 years ago. When the drinking took over I stopped taking the meds - there was no point. Alcohol counteracts antidepressants and can make you depressed itself.

              AL destroys self-esteem - it was really getting to me. Now I am AF I really notice a huge difference. trouble is you are in a nasty cycle and can't tell if its the AL or an underlying condition. Removing AL would be a step towards finding out but that needs strength and support.

              You can get plenty of that here.

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                #22
                Depressed

                Hoping to move forward

                Hi everyone,
                Trying to dig out of the hole...but it's slow. In the past week I've seen 2 counselors and my ob/gyn, who gave me a script for Topamax (she did want to make a copy of the Lancet article -- thank goodness I thought to bring it). I also bought all the supps -- had to drive by the Vitamin Shoppe on the way home, so I figured it would save the shipping....

                I have not filled the script yet, though, nor taken any of the supps yet. I think I want to follow the program/schedule as RJ outlined in the book, but I am so scared of taking the plunge. (I am remembering Louise's 'Swimming pool' post....) My son's pediatrician even said that I could continue nursing while taking the Topa. The recent thread about anger issues is a concern to me, because I think I have been angry at a few things and I don't want to escalate that.

                Any thoughts on the CDs? I still need to order those, but funds are tight. Still feel pretty low (not as bad today though), and getting thru the days, whether at work or at home with baby, are tough.

                CS

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                  #23
                  Depressed

                  Stuck in my head

                  Hello all,
                  I feel so stuck. I'm planning to fill the script for Topa that my ob gave me; maybe I will feel better. So scared! I have things I should be doing while baby naps, but I've been on here for a while. Please send positive thoughts.

                  Thanks,
                  CS

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                    #24
                    Depressed

                    CS - sending you positive thoughts.

                    I know it seems like a lot of money to shell out for the tools in this program first off, but in the long run, you will be saving money by not buying alcohol, and not to mention saving your health and well being.

                    Even if you just hang out here it is better than drinking or allowing your mind to swirl around. You know you are not alone here and you can relate and get support from others who are struggling.

                    Hang in there. Get your prescription filled and keep yourself busy. This is a time where you need to be kind to yourself.

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                      #25
                      Depressed

                      Monday

                      Hi all,
                      I suppose I am moving in the right direction. I am seeing a therapist today, 2nd time with this person and have another appt scheduled next wk. Planning to start full-on program after hubby comes back from trip next weekend. So worried about taking th plunge, but status quo isn't cutting it anymore.

                      Don't have much time right now, but I'm feeling kinda low and need to get some work done while baby naps. Will check back later.

                      Thanks,
                      CS

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                        #26
                        Depressed

                        CS-

                        Therapist should be able to help you with anger issues. Have done cognative therapy several times in my life and it always helped me. My first therapist said "Pain is anger unexpressed". That makes sense to me. So many times we bottle feelings up inside and then they poison us. I used alcohol to self medicate, originally. Then it sneaks up and it takes control of us.

                        You are doing the right thing by facing this now while your family is young. When you take control of this problem you are setting an example of how adults are suppose to live, rather than perpetuating the cycle.

                        Keep coming back, honey! We are all here to help and support you!

                        Best
                        "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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