Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

breaking the cycle ???

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    breaking the cycle ???

    I really need others to tell me what they say or do to convince their mind that they still have a drinking problem, you know after a few days AF you think, I can handle a few drinks, I feel pretty good and then you believe yourself and over drink again and end up the same, hung-over and pissed at yourself for giving in to the lies you told yourself. I no it is denial but I was hoping some of you that are AF can share what you tell your lying self so you don't give in

    Thanks

    Plumeria
    sigpic
    Tags: None
    #2
    breaking the cycle ???

    Many others here can help you with their own experience and thoughts. I can share with you how my husband is dealing with that. First, for many weeks, he would stay AL free on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.. then Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were bad and again, and again. This went on for weeks, at some point of time about 30 days ago the cycle stopped. I think he finally realized the see-saw drinking was taking its toll on him. He liked to wake-up some days during the week not feeling sick, he began to enjoy dinners and quiet times. By reflecting on how good he felt during the AF days he was able to remain that way during the other days in the week.
    I hope this helps.

    Comment

      #3
      breaking the cycle ???

      I stop myself dead in my tracks and get off that friggin' glory boat. I make my mind remember the next morning and how I feel. The shame, the pain, the disappointment. I actually physically (and mentally) just stop. I've gone into a separate room, sometimes the bathroom, to look at myself in the mirror, in my eyes, and dare myself to convince myself it's okay to drink what I want. I list off the last 3-5 times I did it and the outcomes. It's made me cry sometimes but it's also stopped me many times. I can't lie to myself IF I'm able to catch myself in that moment. :l

      Becoming
      "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

      Comment

        #4
        breaking the cycle ???

        I wish I had an answer for you. Sometimes it has to get so bad before it can get better. Goals are important. Keep raising the bar on your goals and stick to them. The mind must be focused and dedicated.

        I think the hardest part is changing your mindset and lifestyle from under the influence to grounded. It's amazing the difference when one is sober. The thought process is clear and unbiased. Things get done and get done right. The bottom line is that you will have to realize that you just can't do what you used to do. You must divorce your love/hate relationship with AL on move on.

        The best thing for me right now about being sober is my quality of life. I'm not depressed other than your normal bad days. Things just don't bother me like they used to. The problems havn't gone away but the way I deal with them is different.

        Right now, I'm shooting for 60 days and I am dedicated to being sober. I think that I have come to realize that AL just doesn't make me feel good anymore.

        The last time I quit for an extended period of time was due to a really fucked up situation that had happened which scared me sober. Once things passed, I went right back.

        This time, I made the decision myself on my terms so I control my destiny.

        Its all much easier said than done and I am not even close but working ODAT.
        Starting over again 09/06/11

        "When its good its good its so good until it goes bad" Pink,Sober

        sigpic

        Comment

          #5
          breaking the cycle ???

          I think the most important aspects of dealing with that are: determination borne out of the disgust of what life is like while drinking; learning NOT to allow one's mind to even engage in the alcohol debate (shifting your attention to something else; repeating to yourself "I don't drink," etc.); and having multiple other life-changes going on, such as avoiding places, times, and people that are triggers, as much as possible (getting alcohol out of the house, not going to bars, not hanging out with drinking buddies, etc.).

          There's a new thread called Tools and I would strongly recommend reading it often! I'll find it and bump it up for you.

          wip

          Comment

            #6
            breaking the cycle ???

            For me, it's because drinking doesn't really work. It's supposed to make you feel good. But it ends up making you feel bad.

            I put this into a document I wrote about "gaining traction". In particular, look at the charts to see what I mean.


            http://www.box.net/shared/static/t81snedyvi.pdf

            Once you understand that Alcohol is making you feel worse, and not better, it's much easier to moderate or quit.

            Comment

              #7
              breaking the cycle ???

              Don't know if I should respond, as I do still struggle, but I think I may have something meaningful to say so...

              I went round and round and round for sooo long. I finally was able to start putting some non-drinking nights together with the help of Antabuse. I am not selling Abtabuse here, but I am noticing something interesting. I am going off the antabuse less frequently now, and noticing the cravings are much less. I truly think as I have more time not drinking, and realize I actually like it, and then go drink to (once again) try it once more, I am starting to lose some interest in it! Finally. I am so not there yet, but I am understanding why it is so important to just keep trying, as it is somewhat of a process.

              Hope this is helpful

              Beth
              formerly known as bak310

              Comment

                #8
                breaking the cycle ???

                My 2 cents

                I ditto everything Lucy Van Pelt said exactly. That is where I am right now. I have more days then ever not drinking, then I feel it would be OK, then I try it again. But, the encouraging thing is that I feel less and less pressure to drink. I also feel less and less like I really want to. Tonight is Friday night, for example--I have been AF for the last 4 nights, and I somehow feel like I need to do something different on a Friday, so I bought a bottle of wine. The funny thing is though, that I almost had to talk myself into it. So, I am feeling very positive, because I feel like I am making progress, and just like others have said, that it is getting easier and that eventually I will "just stop". If I put too much pressure on myself, I know I will "rebel". Maybe you can look at it that way--progress is good, it doesn't mean you are not succeeding if you don't do it all at once.

                Comment

                  #9
                  breaking the cycle ???

                  In rehab, they called it 'romancing the AL' when we begin to think 'I can do this, I can drink a little, I can be normal'. AL is lying to us, and we want to believe. Stinkin' thinkin'!
                  sigpic
                  Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                  awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    breaking the cycle ???

                    It helped me to get started when I made a list of all the things I hate about drinking to excess. It has also helped me a lot to keep reading and posting here. Eventually the reality of the big picture does sink in. The posts of WIP have been particularly helpful.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      breaking the cycle ???

                      When you finally realize and accept the fact that drinking is no longer fun....in fact, it is work. You don't really get any enjoyment from it.....you just drink and drink.....trying to chase that elusive buzz or "glow" that never stays for more than a few minutes, but you keep chasing it for hours until you're depressed, guilty, and sick....

                      That's the way it was for me......

                      You have to stop the debate in your head. You know what drinking does to you. It's The Beast that puts these romantic thoughts of drinking into your head. Learn to recognize these thoughts as a ploy to get you to return to the vicious cycle of drinking and then regretting....

                      EVERY time you step into the ring with The Beast, he will beat you senseless......the secret is to step out of the ring and never allow him to lure you back.....

                      It is much easier to stay quit than to keep quitting.....

                      Don

                      Comment

                        #12
                        breaking the cycle ???

                        thanks everyone

                        you all have great ideas to break the cycle, I guess I just need to try a few and see if they work for me I am tired of being sick and feeling gulity about my lack of control over AL it is a fight I need to win

                        thanks

                        plumeria
                        sigpic

                        Comment

                          #13
                          breaking the cycle ???

                          Plumeria,
                          Thanks for starting the thread -- lot's of good ideas here for everyone.

                          Don: So True "It is much easier to stay quit than to keep quitting....."

                          Comment

                          Previous template Next
                          Working...
                          X