I have not felt this way in a long time

[mollyka]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Apologize?

What does she want you to apologize for? Unless its really awful she should be so proud of you, if its not awful maybe you should move on, life is short, you,re vulnerable and this could bring you back to a place you don't want to be?

[ProjectileVomit]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Tried hitting her?

LOL sorry but this bitch sounds seriously uncool. You really need to sort her out because it sounds like she's not playing for your team if you know what I mean. She's working against you and that's not what you need. A divorce is not the end of the world if it gets you away from someone who's making you miserable imo.

[Accountable for Me]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Hitting her is not an option. Right, ProjectileVomit?

I agree with the others in regards to you seeking out counseling. This will do YOU a world of good. You need to address your own anger issues. Then maybe you will see things differently; and can make the right choices for your life.

I wish you the best. Don't do anything irrational right away. Get the counseling and go from there.

[stepintime]

I have not felt this way in a long time

I kinda think the 'hitting' thing was meant in jest?? I should have known that that comment would have sparked a reaction! I AM a victim of that, and if I dont take offence at it, then I don't see why anyone else here should.

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Well, I know the hitting is a joke... But I do not appreciate calling her a bitch. Even though things are bad, She is still my wife and where I come from talking about someone's wife like that could get you killed. :creepydude:


Here is an update. Last night I got home from the meeting and found out it did not go well. I lost the account.

Typed a note to my wife who was out with her friend. It was a nice note basically stating that I will be working on my issues and we need to be civil with each other.

This morning we made a truce not to fight because it does not help anything. She says she will be willing to work on things.

Its a start...

After I wrote the note, I went out by myself, still dressed and looking good... I drove around for a long time... I really wanted to stop at a bar...drink... and Flirt with some ladies anties:. I did not... I went thru a drive through and stopped the book store to look around.

I guess I made it through without a Drink! I am much calmer now that there is less tension in the house.

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

I drove past the Driving Range and thought I could spend some nights there also.

By the way... I own the Gia DVD.

[mooderator]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Hiya Change,

I can hear you shouting out and needing a response from here! If your wife refuses to hear or cant hear you, then you will have to (as Kid says) take it on yourself.

She may well have her own set of issues, but if she cant/wont address them with you what option does she leave you? If she is as you state a strong, aggressive personality, then it might be that a bit of gentleness is what you need now.

If your significant other cannot/will not provide what you need, then you MUST look to other persons outside that relationship for it instead. Are there parents, siblings or friends (as well as us here) that you can reach out to for support at this time?? If not, then why not go to counselling just for you. That may be a safer environment where you wont have the pressure of someone domineering in character influencing the proceedings.

Dont get me wrong, if you can get your wife to listen then you should and dont stop trying. You may find that you will find a renewed strength from having someone else to talk to first about all the issues The more I think about it, the more I think individual counselling might be better in any event. I cant speak personally about counselling as I have never been, but you appear to want to give it a go and it seems like a great idea.

I do know what you mean about feeling lonely in a marriage. In my case, I am a pretty analytical, deep thinking person, whereas my husband is very straight forward and has no need of such analysis or emotion. At times I feel very lonely as a concequence of this alone. Its not otherwise a bad relationship, but what you say about being lonely in a marriage resonated with me.

PM me if you wanna talk one to one anytime. Be happy to discuss it there or on the boards, whatever you prefer.

love Moo

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Update: We have been sleeping in separate rooms and living in peace.

Nothing has changed. She drives me nutz because she complained tonight about stopping to get dinner. Its always an excuse. God forbid it falls outside her plans.

I bought her a plane ticket for this weekend to go see friends. I can't wait to be alone.

I just need to calm down for a few more hours until she leaves

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Home alone again. Eating alone again. Working around the house alone again. Sucks

[Angelcakes]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Hi Change, I don't have any advice...just know I'm thinking of you.
I hope it works out OK, either way.

xo

[startingover]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Ditto what Angel says...
I hope things get better for you soon...

[LadyOz]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Dear heart
I think u are coming to realise that what u want and what u have are 2 different things,
U have a decision to make, She has made it clear in her head that there is no problem.
U feel there is....if she isnt on the same page as u then move on u deserve better xxx

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

changemylife;598659 wrote: Home alone again. Eating alone again. Working around the house alone again. Sucks

Same thing again

[AMELIA]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Hey Change,

Just read through this thread. Really feel for you and your situation.
I am going to throw that cat amongst the birds here by suggesting something....
Is there any reason that your wife would resent you getting sober?
You have said a few times that she is a strong character...could it be that your sobriety is a threat to her 'control' in the marraige?
I think that sometimes when a 'drinker' becomes sober in a relationship, it can really throw the dynamics of the relationship off if the partner can't deal with it for their own reasons.

Was your wife positive about you quitting drinking in the first place?
It sounds like she is doing the complete opposite of what she (as a supportive spouse) should be doing at the moment. Has she congratulated you on your sobriety? Has she seemed pleased?

I agree with the others that have said seek personal therapy. I would also look for social groups to join to get yourself onto the social scene - and I don't mean for any other reason than to get some friends. I am with a man who doesn't see any friends, he has lost contact with his school and work friends over the years (for varied reasons) and I do find it puts pressure on our relationship, because I feel that I am his only source of support.....it's not good. It makes him seem needy at times and I think our relationship would be more rounded if he had his own social life.

Hope this helps. Wishing you and your wife well Change.
x

[savon19]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Hi Change - can't add much to what others have already said. It will be good to get therapy. (I wish I could afford it!!)

Amelia mentioned social groups. I joined a Photo Club through meetup.com.

Find Meetup Groups near you - Meetup.com

Nice way to meet nice people. Just thought I'd throw that out there... when you're ready.