Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

[Elpis]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Our non-alcoholic significant others do not - and can not - understand. This is truly one of those "it takes one to know one" things. I am striving to be who I really am and not let alcohol define me. I will be enslaved by nothing! I am still fighting the shackles. The master?s whip has its sting but if we are whipped for what we do wrong, that is justice; if we are whipped while fighting for our dignity... that is salvation.

E-

[brittzak]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Well said Sheri!!!!! Accountability!

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Exactly on point

Elpis;697788 wrote: Our non-alcoholic significant others do not - and can not - understand. This is truly one of those "it takes one to know one" things. I am striving to be who I really am and not let alcohol define me. I will be enslaved by nothing! I am still fighting the shackles. The master?s whip has its sting but if we are whipped for what we do wrong, that is justice; if we are whipped while fighting for our dignity... that is salvation.

E-

Very nice.

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Very good response

Sheri;697880 wrote: Hi LivedIt,

I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. Without standing in your wife's shoes, it's impossible for any of us to know with any certainty what your wife is feeling or why she is saying the ?D? word, but I would imagine it?s because she has reached a point where she can no longer live the life any more.

It doesn?t matter what the circumstances are, lying is very destructive to any relationship and can certainly kill a marriage which is supposed to be based on love, honor, trust and commitment, not dishonesty and betrayal.

There?s probably not one person on this site that can honestly say they?ve never lied to someone they love as a result of drinking, but just because we?ve all done it, doesn?t make it right and trying to rationalize or minimize it is probably only going to make the situation worse for everyone, including ourselves. I think the best we can do is to own our responsibility and make amends to the people that we've hurt.

I think it?s also important to remember that just as we want our loved ones to understand what we are going through, they want us to understand what our drinking and lying has done to them. To that end, perhaps writing your wife a heartfelt letter would help and/or suggesting counseling as a way to rebuild some of the trust that has been lost.

I do wish you all the best.

Sheri

Thank you. I have decided against a letter because actions speak louder than words. We know about slips, lying etc.. they kind of know but they do not know. They will never know and most of the people they talk to about it don't know. Worse yet is listening or reading words from someone you do not trust.

This is a be good to me, be very nice to her and stay sober deal. I make one deal. Today I am sober.. I will wake up tomorrow with a commitment to stay sober and take what life deals me. I will treat every situation as a call it as I see it deal and give myself a pat on the back at the end of a sober day.

I will not bleed before I am shot and I will not continue bleeding once the dagger is out of my heart. In my marriage I give you my today as a sober man.

[ilovejafa]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Different approaches work for different people.

For me ... I bought the hypnotherapy Cd's (set of 4), plus Kudzu tablets (take 9 per day) and naltrexone! (From MWO)

I have cut back so much on drinking, that I am pouring my glass of wine down the sink instead of having it now.

I listened to the first CD 'clearing' and that was like a thunderbolt to me! 1 hour later and I felt like I had removed alot of demons straight up.
Because it works on your deep sub-concious, you are not aware of what is going on.
After 2 weeks, and taking kudzu and NAL, I feel I have a different head on my shoulders.

So, as I say, do what works for you, but I am buzzing after being so numb to alcohol for too many years.

Good luck :h

[skempy]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

The only thing I might add is this: when you drink, how does it change you? When I was small, my mother had a boyfriend who was a pretty neat person when sober, and he could drink a *little* and still be alright. BUT, he was an alcoholic, and when he drank too much - as he often did - he became very violent and frightening. Now, I am not at all making an assumption about you. But I do believe that our loved ones notice subtle changes in our personalities when we drink, especially if they are not also imbibing. My husband is highly critical of me once I cross some invisible line; I'm never quite sure where it is, and it changes if he himself is drinking (which is rare). I don't become mean and scary, I just talk alot and he finds it incredibly annoying. I think it's awfully hard for us to see ourselves through that lens, but it is worth considering.

Just my .02. You are HUMAN. Go easy on yourself and take it one day at a time ~ but consider how she sees you, too.

[dizzle]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Hi Livedit, I am the wife also, and you may not want to hear what I have to say. The lying is the killer. The drinking is bad enough, believe me, but the lying is 100x worse. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, or any other members, but I have lived with the abuse etc, left it, got on with life, husband got cleaned up and sober for 8 months. So I took him back, 4 months later he has slipped off the wagon. I was totally ready for it, and we dealt with it. Then it happend again 2 weeks later, but he lied about it, as if I wouldn't know. Swore he didn't drink. He did. Then we dealt with it again, as he was ever so sorry. 4 days later he lied to me again about 'not drinking', I almost believed him as he was so sincere, but no, lies again. Now everything he says I question all over again. Trust is everything. If you must drink, then drink, but don't be a coward and lie about it. We always know. It just shows you need help again, front up and be honest. Thats all I have to say, I am sorry if I upset anyone, but there are 2 sides to every story.

[sunshine_gg]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Dizzle, I don't think you said anything that anyone here doesn't know.

The trouble is, when falling off the wagon, I don't think the denial is just for YOU... it's just as much for himself. But, you are absolutely right... honesty should be a given.

Livedit... how are you doing now? You are so very right, actions speak louder than words, or letters, or anything else. Wishing you strength and unbridled success!

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Dry now over a week

sunshine_gg;700957 wrote: Dizzle, I don't think you said anything that anyone here doesn't know.

The trouble is, when falling off the wagon, I don't think the denial is just for YOU... it's just as much for himself. But, you are absolutely right... honesty should be a given.

Livedit... how are you doing now? You are so very right, actions speak louder than words, or letters, or anything else. Wishing you strength and unbridled success!

Wife hs been supportive.. she likes the sober me.. hates lying (understandable). This was my first shot at quitting.. I messed up.. never had to hide it before. It was not enjoyable due to inability to drink socially (assuming I did.. thought I was). Guilt was there.. and sme of the old actions, reasonong etc came back. I am glad she called me out casue I was headed down wrong path.

Back on program now.

Thank you for all the input.. Including the suffering souse input.. not like I didn't know what it must be like.

[FloridaBoy]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

The hangover lasts longer than the buzz. The price of AL has gone up in FL because of taxes. DUI's are expensive. Your Pinocchio nose will regress. You may find the real you. Need any more reasons to stop?