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    crap

    I was doing pretty good on staying pretty much AF since early-mid Feb. Then I missed a couple of doses of my AB and figured out I could start drinking. Crashed my car (I didn't hit anybody or hurt anyone. Just hit a wooden post) which is the worst as I absolutely despise people who drive drunk so I feel absolutely ridiculous. I also hurt my shoulder really bad as well as a couple other things. I can't even remember how I did it.

    I really want to quit drinking and I don't think I could handle extreme measures like a rehab center. Every time I do this it gets worse. I just can't imagine what the next time will be like. Damnit. I just wish I could go back to last week and take that AB. I would feel better and not be having to deal with the embarrassment right now. At least I'm not seriously hurt and my car can be fixed. I just need to find a way to get this done before the worst happens.

    #2
    crap

    BurrCo use this experience and remember it well. You could have been killed or even killed some innocence person. The thing about abusing drink is it gets progressively worse, of that there is no doubt. Why not choose today as the first day of the rest of your life? Do whatever it takes but do it and do it now before it is too late, you might not get another chance if you continue to drink drive. I dont mean to sound harsh or judgemental but it really is a no no.
    Can you go back to what was working for you when you were staying sober? What triggered your picking up a drink again? This is a learning process, as I know only too well. Stick close to the boards and ask for support when the beast comes calling.
    Keep safe
    KTAB
    Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

    Comment


      #3
      crap

      Hey BurrCo,

      From your posts I already get that you're strong and intelligent. I was surprised at your young age and have two thoughts about this. Firstly, that you are so young to be in this position but secondly, and most importantly, that you have recognised it now and are prepared to get better. I'm nearly 40 and have only just started here.

      Have you got a plan? Not just a thoughtful one but a real, on paper, one.

      I agree with Ktab. Consider this day one, remember this clearly how you feel. Don't beat yourself up but consider yourself very lucky.

      I have no experience with AB but I have read that people take it first thing in the morning when their resolve is at it's strongest.

      Post some more and let us know how things are going.

      Spam

      Comment


        #4
        crap

        BurrCO.....
        I have been worrying about you...rehab may be exactly what you need baby,,,,,
        and I agree with Spam and KTAB.....
        please be careful and stay on the AB in meantime
        sending you strenght and love
        mama
        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
        Live in the Solution....not the problem

        Comment


          #5
          crap

          KTAB;833156 wrote: BurrCo use this experience and remember it well. You could have been killed or even killed some innocence person. The thing about abusing drink is it gets progressively worse, of that there is no doubt. Why not choose today as the first day of the rest of your life? Do whatever it takes but do it and do it now before it is too late, you might not get another chance if you continue to drink drive. I dont mean to sound harsh or judgemental but it really is a no no.
          Can you go back to what was working for you when you were staying sober? What triggered your picking up a drink again? This is a learning process, as I know only too well. Stick close to the boards and ask for support when the beast comes calling.
          Keep safe
          KTAB
          Hi Burrco. I'm sorry to hear about this happening. I will join you in thanks that you nor anyone else was hurt. I hope this is a very serious wakeup call that your current plan is NOT WORKING and therefore, you need to change it and improve it if you want to get sober and live safer.

          Our alkaholic minds really are something else sometimes. I'm not trying to be a smartass - only trying to point out a bit of irony in the thinking. (I've been there!)


          I really want to quit drinking and I don't think I could handle extreme measures like a rehab center.
          If you can't handle rehab, can you handle more drinking?????

          I'm not saying rehab is the only solution. But more drinking is going to have worse consequences - that's just the way it goes. BE WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET SOBER. That's the only way IMO that we can have a CHANCE at sobriety is to be willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES.

          Please don't waste this wake up call.

          DG
          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


          One day at a time.

          Comment


            #6
            crap

            Burr

            I know exactly where you are regards the DD. Myself I always said D Drivers should be shot and that I would never do it. Well just 11 months after I passed my test - which I only did at age 31 I got up one morning still under the influence and decided to go off to visit a long lost friend. Went along one of the worst roads in the country and hit another vehicle, in rectifying my steering I rolled my car upside down but luckily the children in the other car were not harmed possibly thanks to my last minute reaction.

            Something saved me that day but inevitably I was convicted and had to serve a ban, lost my car etc etc - remember your insurer will not pay out for YOU in the event of a DD accident even if you have full cover, although they will pay out for other road users losses.

            Yep I felt guilt, ashamed etc etc but I made sure I 'programmed' myself not to do it again and I've stuck with that to this day. If I think I've so much as 1 small drink in me I will not drive, a taxi or missing out is cheaper than the potential harm that could be caused.

            Stopping drinking is the only true way to ensure this 100%. Don't beat yourself up about it BUT do realise how serious things are getting and yes it can only get worse. Might not be driving but could be some other accident or even just getting into an emotional black hole.

            Comment


              #7
              crap

              BurrCo, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with the emotional warfare of your bad choices... believe me, I know how you feel. Mine was not a drunk driving issue this weekend, but still the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the wishing it was six months later is all very real to me today, just as it is for you. I agree with the previous posts, this is a wake-up call, a SECOND chance, or third or fourth or whatever! I believe that continuing to drink alcohol only makes things get progressively worse and worse. So next time you want to pick up a drink, think that you will make a worse choice than you did when you chose to drunk drive!!!
              One thing Doggygirl says is takes work and effort to be sober. This is true, but it takes so much more work and effort emotionally, physically and finanancially to drink and take 2,3,4 days to recover!
              Burr, I am right here with you my friend..... keep posting, reading and remembering the events of what has happened.

              DB

              Comment


                #8
                crap

                Hey all, just wanted you guys to know I'm fine. I haven't had a drink the 3 1/2 days since then and that whole thing scared me a lot. The cravings have been there but definitely not as bad. I've had less desire to drink since that accident but its still only a start. I'm going to my therapist tomorrow and I'm going to talk with him about maybe what else I could do to help myself.

                I thank you all for your support. Hopefully this day one of the rest of my life lasts as long as I want it to this time. All I know is I'm going to try my best and work harder than before.

                Comment


                  #9
                  crap

                  Good for you Burrco. Sometimes these really scary incidents (so long as nobody gets hurt) are blessings in disguise. If that event truly ends up being your wake up call, then that is a blessing. You still have your whole life in front of you! Let us know how it goes with the counselor, etc.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    crap

                    Keep going Burrco!

                    Having an "incident" is a great focus to reach for higher goals. Keep pushing on it. The longer sober I am, the more I live in amazement at what I once thought was normal.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      crap

                      Good on you Burrco,
                      Glad to hear you are getting help..
                      I had a bad car accident 3 years ago when drink driving - I also hated drink drivers until I was one myself (though I hated myself at the time anyway.. that's what led to my drink driving in the first place!) - luckily I and no-one else was hurt, and also luckilly I did not go to jail as I had a nice magistrate who looked at my history of depression.. so I count myself lucky as even though I lost my licence for 3 years and had to pay a fine - that is way better than going to jail or having hurt myself or especially someone else - I saw a Dr Phil show recently with a woman on who had killed someone else when drink-driving.. it was very harrowing to watch.. I know I couldnt' live with myself if I did that.. hence another huge reason to give up drinking!
                      Take care,
                      Katie xx
                      "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                      :groupluv:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        crap

                        Good stuff BurrCo, dont ever stop trying.
                        Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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