Thoughts, advice, please!?

[sunshine_gg]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

Great news!!!!

Hi guys, sorry - really crappy Internet connection here... FALSE alarm!
Everything is good. Will report back in a few days

Oh, btw...NO Tigger yet!!!:upset:

[mama bear]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

Sunny I just saw this
my thoughts are with you...
false alarm???

[sunshine_gg]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

False alarm = he's NOT into the sauce! I watched him like a hawk... I looked around everywhere... there are NO other signs. The bottles in the garage are apparently an accumulation from the last 2 years (they do keep booze in the house for company). Anywho... I know what he's like when he's drinking and I'm not seeing ANY signs. We managed to have some time alone and he's in as good a place mentally as he can be - I will report more on Friday. My mom is in really rough shape :upset:

Gotta luv ya and leave ya... be good and THANK YOU!

[Chillgirl]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

Sunny I'm so sorry your Mum isn't doing to well but what a huge relief about you Dad, at least you can put that out your mind and focus your attention on your Mum. Is she in a lot of discomfort? :l

[Sunnyvalenting]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

I think the best way would be to be honest and tell him you found those things and are concerned that he is using pills and drinking again. I am afraid that anything short of honesty is manipulative and disrespectful. If I were in his position and someone wanted to be sly in this way I would likely sense it and resent it. IMO. You know your father and mother best. Share your own experience but don't push. Concentrate on your own (possibly new and fragile?) recovery. Let him tell you what he needs from you or others. Good luck in this very tender and sensitive situation.
Sunny

[Sunnyvalenting]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

Sorry, I didn't see your last post. "nevermind!"

[prancy]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

major balls, why don't you return to squashing flies for amusement.

[grangelady]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

AA meeting seems the right thing to do

Hi Sunshine
I'm sorry to hear of your family concerns. I think that the AA meeting is a great idea too. If your Dad thinks he's helping you in attending the meeting, I'm assuming he knows of your issues with AL, then it will make it easier for him to go.
As you say once there it might be that he too can confront the issues and be honest with himself and his family, he knows it works because it has before for him.
The other thing is it might help him address the underlying issues that have caused him to find comfort/oblivion is AL and drugs, at this stage in his life.
I hope for all yoursakes he agress to attend AA with you and I wish you both lotd of luck and happiness for the future:l

[sunshine_gg]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

K... I was going to elaborate on the last week.

Internet was intermittent to non existent and I was busy with family stuff so I really couldn't get into much, sorry.

First of all... I don't believe my dad is swiping pills. I asked him directly and told him that my mom seemed to think so - his answer was a resounding NO. After day 2 I highly doubted that my mom was in any condition mentally to make such assessment, anyways. My dad has to lay out her medications and make sure she takes them. One day, we both asked her, had she taken her mid day meds, she said yes. She was in horrible pain at night and it took us a while to find her pill container... turned out she had taken neither her mid day, nor her evening doses. Yet, she insisted she had. Unfortunately, it isn't just her body giving out... her mind is as well. There are perhaps a total of 2 hours out of a day where she is truly lucid, making sense and knows what time it is, etc.

My dad is discouraged, a little overwhelmed at times, and sad. Very normal emotions, which he fully acknowledges. He seems very much in touch with those emotions amd with the fact that he is coping as best as he can. I am no longer worried about him. I ended up not broaching the subject of drinking because it was pointless. He is not drinking - I'm certain of that.

Again, thank you all for your support, suggestions, and opinions. Much appreciated :l

[Chillgirl]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

Sunny I'm so sorry to hear your Mum is in bad shape, this is so sad and my heart goes out to you and your dear Dad, please know we are here when you need to vent any emotions you are going through, sending you a BIG :l

[brittzak]

Thoughts, advice, please!?

Sunshine,
My Mom died of cancer in 2008. Slowly watching your spouse die and being able to do nothing has to be torture on your Dad. I had to hide my Mom's meds and her cigarette's too. She would forget or take to much. Maybe you should suggest to your Dad to remove all AL until times are easier. If not, he may get overwhelmed. I always say you have to have a safe place when you're an alkie. Mine is my home. I do not keep any here at my house.