I cheated while drunk :(

[Siren136]

I cheated while drunk

white marsh Mom - that is scary! Go to see a doctor about the rash. I myself get a rash when it's hot - it's just folliculitis, a skin infection. My husband just broke out in an itchy red rash all over his back and stomach the other day. It started going away the next day. Don't panic - there is probably a very simple explanation for your rash. But you do need to make sure you are OK - see a doctor and get tested for STDs.

Everyone has a common theme. You got drunk and cheated and now you are a horrible person and will never forget the guilt. But consider this - you got drunk once and cheated. This is a mistake that you can learn from. You are not a horrible person for making a mistake. Use the experience and don't repeat it. Things happen to us for a reason - our job is to learn from our mistakes. You may not ever completely forget but it will get better over time. Time has a way of healing a lot of pain.

[Siren136]

I cheated while drunk

kuya;1456398 wrote: Go for counselling Siren ...... You have invested a lot in the relationship

We are in counseling. I was seeing my own counselor but she discharged me. I have let my husband know that if he isn't willing to change then I'll be leaving.

Edit: My best friend is a counselor, too, so she always has good advice for me.

[IAD]

I cheated while drunk

When you cheat while your drunk, you can only hope that you headed for home afterwards and didn't remember anything about it the next morning. Of course it never fails.....when you go out again the one you cheated with always remembers......and she rats you out ! Ha! I make jest of this but it can really be tragic......I quess that's why I continue to have crazy dreams. Ha! Tony

[FlyAway]

I cheated while drunk

whitemarshmom;1462167 wrote: I had sex with a stranger while in Florida for work. Met at the hotel Tikki bar, me drunk, barely remember anythiing . Im not sure why this has recently starting haunting me so powerfully as it happened this past summer, i think it may have even been April or May. I had to travel there fairly often until summer. Then I was able to work from my house until the weather turned cold again..so almost a year.. well sometime after during a summer camping trip with my family, my chest broke in a terrible itchy red raised bump rash...of course i googled it,, and what came up was HIV... Im in total panic! Im afraid to be tested and have already doomed myself, crying over it and drinking even more....My husband and I havent been intimate in years, and are as close to divorce as we could possibly be.. I would never tell him though about this, although i think i may have in a drunken stupor I the other night. I started going back to church a couple weeks ago, and I think the reason that i have become so worried about having contracted something as horrible and life threatening as disease.. Im so scared! but i think its the devils way of keeping me drinking after my anxiety was relieved by going to church! Please Help!

A rash on your chest could be anything. Hives, an allergic reaction, etc. You are driving yourself crazy by not knowing. If you are HIV positive and you find out, what changes? Nothing. And if you're not HIV positive and you find out, you'd be happy. So what is there to lose by being tested?

[whitemarshmom]

I cheated while drunk

I went to Patient 1st today for a Boil, ouch very painful, have a perscription for Antibiotics and have to use Hot Compresses for a few days.. When i got there, my BP was thru the roof, thus making my anxiety that much worse.. Why? Because when i googled Boils, one of the reasons for getting them is HIV. I talked to the Dr there, and I told her what happened.... She said i should get tested.. I AM SO SCARED! They will notify me by phone probably on Wednesday... I dont want to eat, I feel sooooo tired, and i just want to drink to make the scariness go away.. I cant tell anyone! If you have HIV, its like a death sentence. I just dont think I can live with myself! or face my kids.... This could be my ultimate rock bottom

[YouKayBee]

I cheated while drunk

When you have an alcohol problem you do things you wouldn't normally do because of the problem. Take it out of the equation and these sort of incidents will stop.

It's as simple as that.

I've years of bad decisions and actions carried out because of my alcohol problem, first step was sorting the booze and starting to behave like a responsible human being again.

[justrealizing]

I cheated while drunk

Wow after searching the internet for so long this is the only forum that actually seems to hit home.

I am temporarily living in a new town away from my husband. My whole life I have had emotional issues-depression, anxiety, low confidence. I have never really been to a professional to discuss this because I thought 1) I could get it over it on my own and 2) For a long time I didn't have health insurance. Once I got to college and was on my own I really started to get crazy. My dad and grandpa have had problems with alcohol so I should have known not to let myself go down that track. But I never thought I was actually an alcoholic. I am actually very active and healthy but when I do drink without first setting limits, I let myself go completely. I have made some really horrible choices- drugs, alcohol, sex, letting embarrassing secrets out to people I am just getting to know.... all because of my need to feel accepted.

Anyways, I know now that I really need to do something about this. Two nights ago a woman I just met had a party and everybody was drinking all kinds of liquor- of course, so was I. Things took an interesting turn and somehow this man started putting the moves on. I initially told him it wasn't going to happen, but he was persistent and I eventually caved in. I did not kiss him because the whole time I knew that there was no emotional attachment. But I have no idea why I let this happen. I really just was not thinking about the consequences and in my drunken mind I thought that it would stay a secret. In the middle of the night I woke up and told the guy to get out of the bed.

The next morning I woke up feeling like complete shit. I laid there for a while thinking about what I should do and I thought that the best thing to do would be to keep this to myself. My husband is the most sensitive, sweetest, unsuspicious, unjealous, guy and this would absolutely kill him. I came back to the place I am temporarily living and laid in bed trying to soak it in. It felt so unreal, like it was just a dream. I tried to sleep but I could not and all of a sudden I just had to call him and tell him. Once I got ahold of him I was bawling- I couldn't even say what I actually did, but he guessed it.

This would never, ever have happened if I were sober. I may have had problems in the past when I was in college, but since I have been with my husband (2 years) I have been physically and emotionally faithful and loyal. We have had some problems because I take my emotional issues out on him sometimes, and now he is thinking that this event proves that we should not be together. I love him so much and I cannot imagine my world without him. He has really helped me stay grounded and has made me want to be a better person. I know he deserves better but him leaving me would just about kill me.

Whatever happens, I don't think I can ever drink like that again. I don't know what I should do-maybe just a two drink limit with close friends, and definitely no drinking when I am away from home.

[justrealizing]

I cheated while drunk

i feel dead

Wow after searching the internet for so long this is the only forum that actually seems to hit home.

I am temporarily living in a new town away from my husband. My whole life I have had emotional issues-depression, anxiety, low confidence. I have never really been to a professional to discuss this because I thought 1) I could get it over it on my own and 2) For a long time I didn't have health insurance. Once I got to college and was on my own I really started to get crazy. My dad and grandpa have had problems with alcohol so I should have known not to let myself go down that track. But I never thought I was actually an alcoholic. I am actually very active and healthy but when I do drink without first setting limits, I let myself go completely. I have made some really horrible choices- drugs, alcohol, sex, letting embarrassing secrets out to people I am just getting to know.... all because of my need to feel accepted.

Anyways, I know now that I really need to do something about this. Two nights ago a woman I just met had a party and everybody was drinking all kinds of liquor- of course, so was I. Things took an interesting turn and somehow this man started putting the moves on. I initially told him it wasn't going to happen, but he was persistent and I eventually caved in. I did not kiss him because the whole time I knew that there was no emotional attachment. But I have no idea why I let this happen. I really just was not thinking about the consequences and in my drunken mind I thought that it would stay a secret. In the middle of the night I woke up and told the guy to get out of the bed.

The next morning I woke up feeling like complete shit. I laid there for a while thinking about what I should do and I thought that the best thing to do would be to keep this to myself. My husband is the most sensitive, sweetest, unsuspicious, unjealous, guy and this would absolutely kill him. I came back to the place I am temporarily living and laid in bed trying to soak it in. It felt so unreal, like it was just a dream. I tried to sleep but I could not and all of a sudden I just had to call him and tell him. Once I got ahold of him I was bawling- I couldn't even say what I actually did, but he guessed it.

This would never, ever have happened if I were sober. I may have had problems in the past when I was in college, but since I have been with my husband (2 years) I have been physically and emotionally faithful and loyal. We have had some problems because I take my emotional issues out on him sometimes, and now he is thinking that this event proves that we should not be together. I love him so much and I cannot imagine my world without him. He has really helped me stay grounded and has made me want to be a better person. I know he deserves better but him leaving me would just about kill me.

Whatever happens, I don't think I can ever drink like that again. I don't know what I should do-maybe just a two drink limit with close friends, and definitely no drinking when I am away from home.

[Kradle123]

I cheated while drunk

Hi jR and welcome welcome. :welcome:

First a big hug, :l I m glad you found us and we you. I am. So sorry this happened but I can assure you almost everyone here has done things they never would have thought of sober...me most definitely as well..:upset: there's a wonderful thread where many of us have listed....I don't know why this helps to read other peoples struggles but it does.
I'll try and dig up that thread.

Please head over to the Newbie Nest- amazing people there!! And have a look at the tool box. These 2 links to these great threads are in my signature below.

Take a deep breath, drink lots of water with lemon...find your bottle of Tylenol and try to sleep some tonight.

Tomorrow , Ms Scarlett, is another day!
:h

[Brunocalzone]

I cheated while drunk

Hey justrealizing I to am goin through what you are right now. You are gonna get alot of support here and no harsh judgement. I have realized in my case that over drinking causes me to throw all common sense and judgment aside and I become a selfish person that I can honestly say I hate. I am taking my situation as a huge wake up call to address what I need to change in my life and will always remember this pain guilt and shame but am ping to use it as a tool to be better you will have to do the same thing. As I've been told in my thread "don't know what to do" this doesn't make you a bad person but you made a mistake and as a human that is what we do. I feel for you as I know how it feels to let yourself down but you can use this to be better i know it's hard to hear that right now and my prayers are with you .

[dancing water]

I cheated while drunk

wow - haven't found a forum like this and happy i did.

similar to many people out there, i cheated when i was drunk on a business trip. i've been with my boyfriend for several years. he is the best thing that ever happened to me. we just got engaged this weekend.

i have no clue why i cheated on him and have been carrying this guilt around with me. i haven't told him and am scared to. should i? it could seriously impact our relationship. i feel like this is a burden i don't want to place on him. i still can't believe i did this - it all seems like a dream. i had way too much to drink that night and would never ever imagine doing it sober. i'm trying to get past this. is it wrong of me to try to deny it? i love him so much and im so so so scared that if i even tried to tell him it would change our relationship forever and / or might be the end of it :-/

it's nice to have an outlet here -- i've talked to a few close friends about it, but i think they're starting to get tired of me venting to them all the time.

[girly wirly]

I cheated while drunk

Dancing

Don't tell him! maybe get some counselling for yourself to help you deal with it better.

Your hubby doesn't deserve the pain , he is innocent. What the eye hasn't seen the heart can't grieve.

[Neddy Merrill]

I cheated while drunk

Hi Dancing, First of all welcome to MWO. Secondly, if I was you I wouldn't tell him. It might sound cowardly, but what people don't know won't hurt them. A number of years ago I found out that my then girlfriend had cheated (found out because she told me!) I was gutted and, being the selfish lacking in self-esteem alcoholic that I am, I couldn't get it out of my head and it crushed the relationship. If you were going to make a habit of it - which it sounds like you aren't - then I would advise you to think closely about the relationship. Don't compound things by crushing this man unnecessarily. As girly wirly says, he is innocent. Alcoholics and those with drink problems take a lot out of our partners - at least we can leave them with their dignity.

[dancing water]

I cheated while drunk

Thanks for the support and help. Al runs in my family. Growing up with a parent with a problem -- I always swore I wouldn't let myself be a victim and succumb to it....and here I am thinking back to all the stupid things I've done - including the most recent and hurtful -- and they've all been when I was NOT sober.

I'm going to try to learn from this and not drink anymore. The consequences are far greater than the reward.

[Rip557]

I cheated while drunk

cpn1004;1295925 wrote: For me every time I screwed up and did things I would later regret, alcohol was ALWAYS involved.
Now I don't have those issues.

THIS!

No better truth than that