Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

[ThreeDogNight]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Good morning to everyone.

Wanted to say "hi." I will be going to have the Interlock installed this a.m. Nervous about this, as it's been so long since I have driven. It will take up to two hours two install, and there is no place we can walk to near the place, so will bring a book to read and Mr TDN will do so, too. Freezing cold here, too, and just hope it doesn't snow, as I don't want to drive in that for my first day or so. I am hoping to move on ith my life, and also hope that my story may help somebody else who is struggling to see just where AL can lead.

I will check back this weekend, and hope that you all have a good AF day!

TDN

[planetjanet]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Hi Everyone,

Oh am I STRESSED......it looks like I will be on the job hunt ONCE AGAIN, luckily I am still working at this company, however it's just not working. There are just way too many "click" issues and a problem with one of bookkeeper's. I have desperately tried to make things right, to get some kind of "acceptance" from these people, but it's just not working. I kind of had a "uncomfortable" feeling about this place but wanted to give it a chance but after some incidents that happen during the holidays, I realized that this place is not for me. I have to say it was just a GREAT disappointed because I really, really, thought that I was finally on my way to building my career.....grrrrrgh. My half marathon is next weekend and I have been tuckered from the training.

Anywho, I am sorry to be a "downer" and I know it will all work out. You guys are in my thoughts and I will check back in tomorrow.


Hugs,
Janet
AF Day 269

[ThreeDogNight]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Hi, Janet.

I am so sorry about the job thing! I completely understand, as I had a similar exoerience at my last full time sales job, where the clique was just about eeryone except me I wasn't young and hip enough for them, and I had whole lot more integrity than any of them. Was finally "laid off"--that's when my drinking went totally out of control. So you hang in there, and look around for something else, and just put in your time. Easier said than done, I know, but you have done such a great job of staying AF and dealing with everything AND training for the half marathon!

Dealing with the Interlock is NOT fun, I will tell you. You have to exhale, then inhale, then exhale again. I have had several "too soft" readings, and yesterday had a very odd reading after I did the test after starting my car when I left a supermarket. Had to actually call the company, and it seems that I tried too early. And these things can be reported. I cannot eat or drink anything within ten to fifteen minutes of starting my car, and cannot eat or drink anything--only water--whiel driving. The "rolling road test" seems to occur about 3-5 minutes after starting the car, then again after fifteen to twenty minutes, and never less than once an hour. And I try to park far from where anybody will see me. Had a rolling test just before I got home yesterday, and just before I saw a nosey neighbor pulliing out of her driveway. I am not complaining; I am lucky to be able to drive at all!

Janice, Ishy, SL, Sausage, and everyone else--have a great AF day!

TDN

[planetjanet]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Hello Everyone,

Thanks TDN, I know it will work out and there hasn't been any thought of wanting to drink at all. This really doesn't put any interference on my Oh, so that's what an "interlock" is, I thought it was. Wow, sounds like a racket but eventually you won't have to deal with for long....I hope. How long do you have to have this? That's right "clique", I was trying to find the correct spelling and OMG that's exactly what I am experiencing with these two girls at work. On Friday, an incident happen which resulted in one of the bookkeepers taking what I said WAY out of context and when I left the office, there was ALOT of "ick" in the air. You can't imagine how much "anxiety" I will have tomorrow night and Tuesday morning, which is why I need to get myself out there and find another fricken job...gosh I just can't wait to find a place that I settle in without any "Kardashian" drama.
Sheesh.....I just feel like a failure : ( : ( Today was a very lazy day, had a big fight with my friend (my only friend..LOL) and it just left me feeling paralyzed. I was bad and ordered a large cheese pizza, yes I know it's better than drinking alcohol, however it's not the best thing to be eating a week before my half marathon.

Anywho, sorry to be a downer.. I am off work tomorrow and will get myself early to make up for a day wasted and to WORK this pizza off me...LOL!!!!!! A big hug to you all : ) : ) I will check back in tomorrow.

Hugs,
Janet
AF 270

[Balboa45]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Hello 30 day folks. Happy to report that I am on day 20 of my latest AF program and that is a new record for January (of any year). Didn't make my goal of 200 days last year, got stopped on day 189 and went on a 2-week ripper. Anyway this year's goal is 220 days AF and with any kind of luck I'll make it.

Janet, I wish you luck in your new job search, and the half marathon, both real accomplishments. TDN congrats on being able to drive again, hell, your the only person I know that didn't drive on a suspended license, good for you. I'll check in every now and then, thanks for the support.

Later, B-45

P.S. hippyman, that dog looks pretty cool, sure do miss the Good Old Grateful Dead

[Hippyman]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Balboa45;1448009 wrote: Hello 30 day folks. Happy to report that I am on day 20 of my latest AF program and that is a new record for January (of any year). Didn't make my goal of 200 days last year, got stopped on day 189 and went on a 2-week ripper. Anyway this year's goal is 220 days AF and with any kind of luck I'll make it.

Janet, I wish you luck in your new job search, and the half marathon, both real accomplishments. TDN congrats on being able to drive again, hell, your the only person I know that didn't drive on a suspended license, good for you. I'll check in every now and then, thanks for the support.

Later, B-45

P.S. hippyman, that dog looks pretty cool, sure do miss the Good Old Grateful Dead

Yeah my dog and me are still stuck in the 60's wearing tie dyes, shades and listening to Grateful Dead. It was a time of change, back then, for sure and life was alot simpler. I even knew how to work the electronics and dial the telephones...back in "the day"...lol

[Change]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

planetjanet;1447565 wrote: On Friday, an incident happen which resulted in one of the bookkeepers taking what I said WAY out of context and when I left the office, there was ALOT of "ick" in the air. You can't imagine how much "anxiety" I will have tomorrow night and Tuesday morning, which is why I need to get myself out there and find another fricken job...gosh I just can't wait to find a place that I settle in without any "Kardashian" drama.

Don't worry about them Janet, they'll all eat each other up alive once you go. And, don't worry about the pizza, if that's what stops you from eating al, then you're on to a winner!

ThreeDogNight, funny about the interlock. You'll just have to take a comic view and imagine you acting in a scene from a movie each time you inhale into that thing. Just try to see the funny side!

Feeling pretty good here, but am itching for some lovin

[Ishybit]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Hello Everyone,
Sorry it's been so long since posting. I check in and read pretty often but by the time I get around to posting, it's time to head out the door. It appears as though everyone is humming along. Janet, I'm super excited and impressed for you and your marathon! I can't wait to hear how it goes. Tdn, your're doing great and you have a great attitude....just keep keepin on!! B-45, I caution you to not look at the big number of days and instead just look at one day at a time. Some times the big numbers are overwhelming especially when you are having a tough day. At least that's what FINALLY worked for me or maybe I should say i finally grasped One day at a time or even one minute at a time.
I've been feeling pretty calm lately, like I'm a real non-drinker. I've "come out" to a few new people and it feels more natural then it has in the past. Saying no doesn't fill me with as much anxiety anymore. I still have to be careful but it's becoming easier. I like it!
Hi Hippyman, Janice, Sausage, Change!
Happy Tuesday!
Ishy

[Balboa45]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Ishybit;1448335 wrote: Hello Everyone,
Sorry it's been so long since posting. I check in and read pretty often but by the time I get around to posting, it's time to head out the door. It appears as though everyone is humming along. Janet, I'm super excited and impressed for you and your marathon! I can't wait to hear how it goes. Tdn, your're doing great and you have a great attitude....just keep keepin on!! B-45, I caution you to not look at the big number of days and instead just look at one day at a time. Some times the big numbers are overwhelming especially when you are having a tough day. At least that's what FINALLY worked for me or maybe I should say i finally grasped One day at a time or even one minute at a time.
I've been feeling pretty calm lately, like I'm a real non-drinker. I've "come out" to a few new people and it feels more natural then it has in the past. Saying no doesn't fill me with as much anxiety anymore. I still have to be careful but it's becoming easier. I like it!
Hi Hippyman, Janice, Sausage, Change!
Happy Tuesday!
Ishy

That's very sage advice Ishy and I do appreciate it. When I'm not drinking I do take it 1 day at a time, with a longer goal. That said I always have a yearly goal and always try for at least 30 days between drinking, that's why I joined this thread. Don't really have a total AF life style at this point and it works for me, don't get me wrong I don't moderate. When I drink, I drink. When I don't I just don't.

This website has helped me stay sober...especially when I'm sober. Like today.

Everybody have a nice week, I'm heading up to Seal Beach for a run...beautiful out.

Later, B-45

[Janice]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

At last I have 5 minutes to myself!! Hi everyone, sorry for not posting lately, been a mad few days!! My mother-in-law hasnt been well with sciatica and hasnt been able to get out of the house so I've been going over to take some shopping, do a few chores and spend a bit of time (she lives abt an hour away). By the time I've driven back, cooked tea & had my bath I've been too tired to turn my laptop on (which is really saying something for me!!). Tomorrow I'm off on the train to see my mam in the north-east of England then heading straight down to the south west of England to see my daughter for the weekend!!! Phew!! Wont get online before Friday but may do over the weekend as my daughter has just got the internet connected and I'm taking the laptop!

So..what's been happening folks?? What have I missed??

Janet...sooooo sorry to hear about the job and those horrible people!!! You are certainly not a failure!! I hate that sort of atmosphere; it can really make you feel quite lonely. My last job was in a private school...20 women in the pre-school department, no men. You can imagine cant you.... it got to the point where I didnt used to go into the staffroom anymore as things were so bad. Yes, probably another reason why I would come home and open a bottle (I only worked mornings!!).
Why do people have to be like that?? Get yourself out of there girl, you deserve better!! Meanwhile, throw yourself into your half marathon at the weekend and forget about those sad people. Good luck with the run!! xx

TDN - Great that you are driving again but what an experience your Interlock sounds!!! A reminder to us all as to why we need to be AF. It could be anyone of us in your situation TDN. xx

Ishy good to see you. I too am enjoying "coming out". Its funny I even told the Dentist last week that I had given up alcohol lol! I was explaining why I am now tucking into the chocolate and desserts and hoped my teeth hadnt suffered. (Oh well, teeth or liver??)

Balboa good to see you back and Congratulations on Day 20!! Hippyman good to see you too...yes LOVE the dog...he is cool man!! My tipple is chamomile tea too!! Love Twinings chamomile and spearmint. Hi to Change, SLass and anyone else I've missed...Sausage hope things are good with you?

Well must go and finish my packing...keeping my fingers crossed we dont get another layer of snow in the morning as it could affect my trains tomorrow. Have a good few days everyone and remember "there is nothing to give up" its the people who drink who are making the sacrifices!

xx

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

I so wanted to be a member of the 30 day group but I can't seem to get past 10 days or so. I'm so sad and disappointed in myself. I was so sad last night and nothing would make me feel better. I have been suffering with depression for a few years and last night nothing could console me except wine. I wish I could just drink a glass of wine but oh no, whole bottle on an empty stomach. Of course I was sick today and could not work. I really hate myself today. Even so I feel bad tonight I want to drink again. I just wish this urge and depression would go away. I'm so sorry to disappoint all of the wonderful people in the community.

[ThreeDogNight]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Hello, Mein and:welcome:

Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all been there--I know that I have many times. If you just keep reading and posting and try to have a plan for when things get hard and you hit the "wall" around ten days, it might help. And have you checked out the newbies nest? There may be someone who is having the same difficulties you are and you can connect.

:l to you

TDN

[Change]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Mein Sonnenschein;1449176 wrote: I so wanted to be a member of the 30 day group but I can't seem to get past 10 days or so. I'm so sad and disappointed in myself. I was so sad last night and nothing would make me feel better. I have been suffering with depression for a few years and last night nothing could console me except wine. I wish I could just drink a glass of wine but oh no, whole bottle on an empty stomach. Of course I was sick today and could not work. I really hate myself today. Even so I feel bad tonight I want to drink again. I just wish this urge and depression would go away. I'm so sorry to disappoint all of the wonderful people in the community.

I understand how you feel. I get anxiety. One thing though, i don't think your depression can get any better until you stop drinking and find more appropriate and healthy ways to treat it. I think there is an underlying cause for most depression and anxiety. Would you consider giving yourself a chance to see what that cause really is?

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Thank you for the response TDN and Change Yesterday was really tough and it is nice to hear from you guys. Change, you are right, there are underlying causes to the depression. I started drinking heavily when I "thought" that I could control the depression that way. But now both have gotten out of hand. I am going to take a step back, restart my 30 days of sobriety and move forward... because I can not go back and fix this week. Today is a new day and I need to think positive.

Thank you again. I really appreciate the response and positive support from this community!

[ThreeDogNight]

Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

Good morning, Mein and Change.

I suffered from depression, too, and anxiety toward the end of my drinking (and before and I went to rehab last year.) I was drinking to control it--through the illnesses and death of my parents, death of a beloved dog 13 years ago--and even after my first DUI. I was on Paxil for anxiety for five months last year, and wasn't drinking. Hard to tell, but think the majority of this anxoety was due to drinking. I now take a natural product--Amoryn--daily for mood enhancement, and Seredyn for times I have anxiety. Not too many of those days, thank God, but had to use it a couple of days ago while stressing out over the Intoxalock. Don't know if the company ships to Germany, Mein, but you might do a search for these products. The Seredyn can also help while you are withdrawing from AL.

Glad you continue to come here. It does help!!

It is -12 F here this a.m.!!! Cannot even imagine getting out the door:upset: