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    #1

    Day 1 yet again

    I came home from work a few days ago and found that my wife had packed up and left. She said she was planning it for a few days. Needless to say I felt pretty crappy and my sobriety went out the window. So now, after a 3 day binge of about 400ml of vodka a day, I'm just done with drinking. I have work in a few hours and right now I'm a bit shaky, very dehydrated and malnourished. I guess I'm just afraid of withdrawals as usual. The killer anxiety hasn't kicked in yet. Thing is, I cannot miss work. Now that I've got this house on my own, I need the income, and I'm sure if I lose my job in addition to my wife it will be that much harder to stay sober.

    I loaded up on b vitamins, took a milk thistle, some magnesium, an assortment of other vitamins and I've got some theanine that I ordered in yesterday. I also have a small gabapentin if I need it for work but I'm afraid that it will put me at greater risk of withdrawals (sort of like how if one combined a benzo + AL). These are the days where I wish I was insured and had a vehicle, as I'd hit up the doc for some fluids and some reassurance... I've only got a 4 hr shift but I'm paranoid that I will be incapable of working since I run a store and am the only one there - so no going home early and no calling in sick. I've withdrawn from this amt of AL before but we all know it's never pleasant and always scary.

    I'll post an intro thread later today. Thanks all!
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    #2
    Day 1 yet again

    No one likes the withdrawal process but it is something we must push through to get to those green pastures, deal with it the best you can and arm yourself with some sugary goodness, to keep your blood sugar in check, such as my favorite buttlerfinger ice cream. Watch some movies to keep your mind going, Netflix is especially good for this.

    Im sorry to hear that you are going through so much in life right now with your wife leaving but booze will only make this to deal with worse when you are thinking about the stress and shaking and feeling like overall shit...get better and deal with life issues with a level head.

    Also, I was an Area supervisor for a number of years for a large pizza chain and I was drinking heavy every night. When I got up to work with tons of travel I felt like hell and never performed the way I did sober and it ultimately cost me my job when I lost my job because of a DUI...The first of two.

    Get yourself straight and show your wife why leaving you was a mistake.
    Whoever I had become, the alcoholic, had to die.

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      #3
      Day 1 yet again

      Thanks for the response!

      I made it through work just fine. My fine motor skills were trash and I had to take a measly 50mg of gabapentin, but I am feeling much better. I have to remain sober, get the house nice again and do what you said - show her why it's a mistake to not come home. I picked up more hours and just had a real meal. I never cook when I'm drinking, but I'm good at it and my stomach thanks me.

      Has anyone else here gotten terribly thin, as opposed to overweight, from drinking? My family has blood sugar issues and so I'm sure I've done a number on my pancreas. In fact, I started drinking a lot more when I was laid off and wasn't buying enough food - I would crash and seek out alcohol instead of a steak; so I think eating well is critical to my sobriety. Time to get right!

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        #4
        Day 1 yet again

        Hi Thor and welcome. Sounds like you are having a rough time and sorry to hear that. Al does terrible things to our lives and only we can turn that around to a positive. Glad you made it through the day. I too was a functioning alcoholic, i dont miss the hangovers, the shakes, the anxiety, the nausea, the shame, the guilt and the list goes on.

        I did not eat, my main aim at the end of the day was to reward myself for my hard work and have 1-2 bottles of wine. Food what was that! I did not get terribly thin but i thin yes. I always said i ate fruit in the form of grapes, in the form of wine! Now i actually enjoy eating, at first it was hard to eat again and i craved sugar, still do and i have gained a few kilos but that more than makes up for not pouring al down my throat.

        Give up al for yourself at the moment, make you a priority then think about repairing your relationship. My children looked at me when i told them i was giving up as if to say "yes heard that before". I had to prove to them that i could do it and at nearly 50 days they now believe me and are extremely proud. I have spent the last twenty years drinking and it takes time to repair ourselves, our bodies and our relationship.

        If you are worried about your body go to the doctors. I finally had a blood test a few weeks ago and my liver is suprisingly great. I was amazed.
        AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

        Comment

          #5
          Day 1 yet again

          Glad you made it through work today, Thoreau. Some people get very thin drinking. I didn't. But I do know that drinking made me forget all about eating good, nutritious food, and making myself a good, healthy dinner when I got home from work was essential in helping me stay sober in the early days. I'm glad you enjoy cooking.

          You sound like you have a good attitude for someone in the beginning of this journey. True Grit has a great idea in making your wife realize she's made a mistake. LOL For now, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself the best you can, stay sober, and keep your job and house. Stay close here on MWO, read and learn. Chime in. There are great threads for Newbies and Daily Abstinence.

          :welcome:
          AF as of August 5th, 2012

          Comment

            #6
            Day 1 yet again

            Thor,
            Glad u made it.

            Thinks will fall in place...patience and faith bud

            Available is right. Nourish yourself and be sure to stay hydrated. Blood sugar and fluctuations are common and so are the sugar cravings.

            Try lglut and what works wonders in stabilizing blood sugar is cinnamon and honey in morning and before bed. Try it out....I was a skeptic too before I tried it.
            Everytime I am tried to quit in the past it was sugar craving which made me fall...and this time thats the first thing I attacked and trust me I have not had anything with refined sugar in it for the past 28 days and not missing it.

            Best,

            Vy

            Comment

              #7
              Day 1 yet again

              Thanks again for the replies guys.

              I am a big fan of cinnamon for blood sugar control. I put it in my breakfast shakes. Never thought to use it before bed though!

              Fortunately, I was big into paleo and exercise, as well as supplemental nutrition, prior to becoming a drinker. I never stopped taking my vitamins, eating coconut oil, taking cod liver oil, etc. just as I never stopped bicycling, though I got down to about 80mi a month some months. Still, not too bad for a drunk. That's probably why I got so thin - not enough food, too much of a mono-diet, and copious amounts of alcohol and cigarettes.

              I do find that coffee gives me tremendous anxiety and muscle tension now that I've quit. Just 8 oz will make me feel like I need a theanine to take the edge off. So I just stopped drinking it. So sad!

              Comment

                #8
                Day 1 yet again

                you are doing well Thoreau and I hope your wife comes back soon
                Things got really nasty with me and hubs before I stopped...
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

                Comment

                  #9
                  Day 1 yet again

                  I like your attitude!

                  Today is the day I am quitting alcohol. I drank last eve. I am a 51 female who is relatively healthy. I am a binge drinker. I drink twice a week. I drink 2 bottles of wine usually. No more. But this is not normal drinking. I drink alone at home. I tried AA for one year. It made me want to drink more. I have read all kinds of books etc. I really think this site will help. Like minded people helping each other.

                  I ordered Regenerate from Amazon today. It is a non-12 step CD, journaling, absitence 25 day alcohol recovery program. Any feed back is welcomed. I want to do this and succeed. Any feedback is welcomed. I want my 19 and 17 year old children to look at me differently.

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                    #10
                    Day 1 yet again

                    Temelculahappy3 :welcome:
                    Why don't you pop into the Newbies Nest - gorgeous welcoming people to help you get started on your journey.

                    Thoreau, for me food is absolutely essential to not drinking. If I have cravings protein really helps. I know if I can just get dinner done & eat then I'll be ok.
                    You sound like you're doing great.
                    Formerly Angelcakes, new name, new attitude.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Day 1 yet again

                      The advice here has been really helpful, as has the community been

                      Day 4 - still going strong!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Day 1 yet again

                        Go strong Thor....get a hammer if reqd...

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Day 1 yet again

                          vynan;1615922 wrote: Go strong Thor....get a hammer if reqd...
                          Hahaha, quite clever. And I've got one of those, too! In amulet form, somewhere in a dresser, but still...

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