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    Re: Is anyone available to help?

    I am going to the dr and they will tell me my options based on health and also I understand there are several types to look at-- some have a more AA approach, some group and other therapy etc so I'm going to get help picking one that is best and also takes our insurance as this could get expensive. I also need to have that one day to get clothes together. But I'll be in by Weds at the latest. I am so disgusted with myself for the empty calories that have led me to have a couple of belly rolls-- I hope that they will soon leave as I work on my issues and lick this for the last time. Thanks for the support. Still sweating when I'm walking around and it's cool here so I know that's a symptom but I feel like maybe I could sleep some and that will really help me. I just hope the dr is not judgmental -- I don't need to be scared straight -- I just need to get it done -- shame is such a negative emotion and my husband put enough of that on me a few days ago

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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      The shame and guilt is not the answer. I probably have told you this before. I began to heal when I stopped beating myself up. The shame and guilt were holding me down. Once I let myself say - yes, that happened and it was awful but I am not that person anymore - I began to grow. I have a little spot in my brain where I keep that shame - anytime I think that a drink looks good, I pull out that horrible scene and replay it. Sometimes I had to play more than one bad scene but it was always enough to reinforce that alcohol is not an option.
      A doctor should not be judgmental. I certainly hope you don't run into that.
      How is hubby doing now? Supportive of you?
      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
      ..........
      AF - 7-27-15

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        Re: Is anyone available to help?

        Chipping in here. I think its important to see a doctor and try to have one you can be honest with. Don't worry about them being judgemnental. Doctors are not saints but they do have the training and experience a lay person does not have. Sometimes we need brutal honesty from the GP. That saved my life. I gave no doubt about this.
        Hope you get on to this asap and see the dr and sort out rehab. Try to sleep on the long flight home.

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          Re: Is anyone available to help?

          Just a quick comment. When choosing rehab you have to decide if AA or if CBT is gonna work. If you are religious maybe AA, but if you question it, it might not work as you hear exactly what you knew already. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is wonderful. See what your benefits cover. Most rehabs make you believe your way out when in fact you need meds and aftercare or psych or whatever. I've been lied to many times in rehab and they offered psychology or psychiatry but never actually made it possible, so I never got it. So be well aware of what you are getting into.

          Thinking of you.
          "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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            Re: Is anyone available to help?

            Well, husband is willing to make the rehab possible by taking care of our son etc so that's something. I don't really like the whole powerless idea over alcohol so I'd probably go a different way if I could. I don't mind honesty from Drs-- I just don't want shaming. And as Empy noted some GPS really don't know enough. When choosing a dr you like to think they are at least as smart as you-- and there are some where that's not the case. But the initial tests can be read by specialists if needed I guess. And they are the gateway to those. I'm on this -- to be sure. We just have a super long flight home so I have to go to the dr on Tuesday. But I have communicated with her so it's set up. Probably won't get a chance to write for awhile due to going away. Wish me luck and thanks!

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              Re: Is anyone available to help?

              If you are concerned about powerless over alcohol. Look at the Dr. Sinclair Method using naltrexone. I really don't want to give you an excuse to drink but if thats what it takes.... thats what it takes. 5% on AA. ~10% on CBT. Drugs are all over the map and work in concert with psych and the psychology of it is important. Here in Ontario Canada we have free access to all sorts of psychology.

              Shame is by far the worst thing ever. Everything about you is beautiful if you found your way here. Thats why we have all the psychology in Ontario.
              Last edited by empyr3al; July 30, 2017, 05:06 PM.
              "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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                Re: Is anyone available to help?

                With concerns about my health-- valid or not-- I think total abstinence is the way to go. But by the concept of powerlessness I just don't like that that implies I am not a partner at least on getting well. I totally know that I can never drink again because once I do--I have the worries, anxiety etc that I have now about what I might have done or be doing to myself. I don't want to live like that any more. This way I won't have to. Thanks so much and I'll report back after my stay.

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                  Re: Is anyone available to help?

                  If you don't like the powerless over alcohol, take the CBT route. The AA route is crazy imho.
                  "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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                    Re: Is anyone available to help?

                    From what I've read and heard that's the route id choose. Thanks!

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                      Re: Is anyone available to help?

                      Just a suggestion while at rehab embrace all that is offered. After rehab spend some time trying them all suspending any judgement - SMART, Rational Recovery, AA, etc .... (a pupu platter of recovery programs if you will) You don't have to figure it out right now, just get started and keep walking forward. 2 cents. :happy2:
                      “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb

                      "See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.

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                        Re: Is anyone available to help?

                        O-- I plan to throw everything I've got at it. I will discuss the components with the dr and see what's offered everywhere. Thanks

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                          Re: Is anyone available to help?

                          Take it seriously or you are wasting your time. I got hurt badly by someone in rehab emotionally, a very expensive one. $6000, think more like $9000 cash from family + $10,000 from insurance + the $30,000 covered by ontario ohip; so $46,000-$50,000 for a month. Not to mention you are not working, your drug plan is flying, so you are losing money everywhere. One person ruined it all and it sucked. This is why I take everything from the rehabs I've been at, TED talks, and research drugs aka medication. Depends where you are at and what you want to do. At rock bottom you are vulnerable. The bottom can get worse believe me, so be sensible about it. Be open but careful because there are people there that are hurt more than you. Opening yourself is crazy and takes a huge amount of trust and courage. The pain i got was from someone with hatred. Hit every point that indicated I have PTSD. Ask to change groups if you sense this. The point is to be open and honest so you can confront your issues and why you drink. They will resist and take every opportunity to make it worse for you so you can confront an AKA issue that doesn't exist. I don't have hate and it was damaging. I have hate for people that carry hate, and hurt vulnerable people. Thats what I learned.

                          Three best words "I Love You", or "What is wrong". Those hit hard for me.

                          Do IT

                          Know I've been to 3 rehabs and the most expensive does not mean the best. The food is better thats all.
                          Last edited by empyr3al; August 2, 2017, 08:19 PM. Reason: Typo, clarification
                          "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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                            Re: Is anyone available to help?

                            Tide, don't forget there are a ton of doctors in recovery.

                            I don't want to confuse you, but the powerless in AA was/is not for me. I wish you good luck, good health and sobriety.
                            Enlightened by MWO

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                              Re: Is anyone available to help?

                              Have been praying for you off and on. Agree with much that's been said. I like how Orimus is suggesting to look at all avenues to help. You can discard tools that don't work. I'm not a huge fan of AA, but they have their positives. My opinion is when they talk of step one, it has more to do with being powerless after taking that first drink. It's the first one that leads to more. "One Is Too Many And A Thousand Is Never Enough".

                              Sending you positive thoughts and prayers on your journey into sobriety. :hug: I believe in you....

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                                Re: Is anyone available to help?

                                I've developed tools over various quits so I never have a need for rehab. In Australia I think it is free but couldn't pay the huge $$ required if in US and feel some are a gimmick. A good doc is the start and full blood work to find out whats going on. If I started a quit now without any tools and knew nothing I would be tapering and only buying enough alcohol to stop withdrawals .+1 for thiamine as I felt this has helped me. I have a full vitamin regimine that has helped through any slipups I've had and kept this at a minimum

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