I Want More.....

[AAthlete]

Today I want more...

As I was working out this morning, I realized that at the age of 43 and 1 1/2 years of sobriety I am in the best shape of my life and have more self-confidence than I have ever had. I was listening to 80's and 90's music, and wished that I could go back to my twenties and do it all over again. All my life has been spent battling self-confidence issues and I was never happy with myself up untiil now. What would have been if I could have been the person then that I am now... My whole life ahead of me and the confidence to go down paths that I never dared to travel.

My sobriety program tells me that I can't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, but just for today I do. I know that all the choices that I have made have been through rose-colored glasses, especially in the last 10 years of my drinking. I need to remember that even with that clarity, the choices that I may have made could have turned out poorly and I could be wishing that things were different for a whole other set of reasons. At the end of the day, I do have a good life, a good family and am sober - and for that I am grateful.

I need to focus on becoming the best person that I can be going forward and enjoy the blessings that I have - but just for today I wonder what could have been....

[greeneyes]

I Want More.....

You sound great AA! I wonder that too. It doesn't get me anywhere. I always think it would have been better. Who knows? I'll be glad when I quit wishing I hadn't drank like I did and just let it go.

[A Work in Progress]

I Want More.....

AA, I was having very similar thoughts just yesterday. As I was telling someone about having begun my career of serious drinking back when I was a freshman in college, I began thinking about the fact that my drinking interfered so much with developing healthy relationships, and with achieving many of my goals. It seems obvious that my life would have been so very different if I had not engaged in heavy drinking for most of 30 years of my adult life... But, of course, if any of my various choices had been different, I might just as easily have been hit by a truck, and killed when I was 22!

I agree with your conclusion: when these thoughts arise, it's best to refocus on today, and/or on plans for the future. In many cases (and certainly, for me!), regrets over "spilled milk," and engaging in fantasy thoughts of how it could or might have been, lead to melancholy and can be a dangerous trigger for drinking.

Onward, right?

wip

[Heavenly]

I Want More.....

I am totally with you on that one AA ... but yes, onward and upward...or should that be forward ...
whichever, it doesn't help to dwell on the past and only yesterday it clicked that I should make the most of the life I have now and the people who are MY family and MY true friends ... anything or anyone else has to make their own way, as I am making my own way ....

Keep going AA ... (me too am 18 months and 2 days !!).

[gyco]

I Want More.....

i said it earlier in a comment.by someone else,you hav sobriety rt now.what happens if you FALL,do you be come nonshalont,oooops i fell,does your wisom change,hav,you been,there,i have,wake up to reality,were human,AA,you are a terrific guy,but failure is in the EYE,of the beholder,gyco

[IAD]

I Want More.....

[ame=

]YouTube - I Want It All (Queen Rocks)[/ame] This one is for you AA.....We all want it all ! IAD.

[july232007]

I Want More.....

I need to focus on becoming the best person that I can be going forward and enjoy the blessings that I have - but just for today I wonder what could have been....

AA,

I hear you, but I got to ask what can't you do now? You have the rest of your life right out there for you and the balance now to do it?

Get cracking,

July

[on my way]

I Want More.....

I have those thoughts a lot. Sometimes it is painful think of what you could have been. Can't beat your self up over it, won?t help.

Look forward, cause if you keep looking backwards you'll fall off the bike If ya know what I mean.

[akgirl]

I Want More.....

AA, ....have you been reading my journal? LOL

No, seriously, it's exactly how I am feeling these days. So much reflecting and soul searching going on inside.

I've started down this new path and I can't help but look back and wonder...what if? But I'm also looking around the present, and who and where I am now, I am realizing that although the life I have is good, sadly, the relationships and friendships I have built are not what I thought they were.

So now I must look to the future...which is exciting and scary. I need to find a way to connect to people again, get out into life. Start experiencing new things.

I think we will always wonder what might have been, and that's okay
I'm just wondering what will be!!

[Mackeral]

I Want More.....

AA...Maybe you wouldnt be the confident atheletic person you are today...If you did'nt have your turbulant past...

I beleive every obstacle we overcome makes us stronger, wiser..And the person you are today..

[jonetrees]

I Want More.....

what will be.

I guess is up to us..but each day ..I wake up..this bullshit on my shoulders,telling me this and that..and i know inside of me to just get up and go walking.and do not listen to the natter that goes on in your head,because it has no power at all..Im in charge here. And its just exploring the many resources we have all around us..And I am weak..But I am strong.What I did today was just close my eyes and press where ever I hit ..so I hope I can be of some contribution to whatever it is that is...

[retteacher]

I Want More.....

Athlete: I've looked back w/regret...especially on some wonderful events & gatherings that were lost to drink. I try to think that they are my learning experiences, but sometimes I can't help feeling sad about them. The good news is that I don't have to let that happen again. Mary