Two years since I first came to mwo....
Two years since I paused, stood still after a two decade long drinking love story going horribly wrong , reflected upon where I was and where I wish to go further in life....
Two years since I ended up in a barroom brawl and almost temporarily lost my sanity...
Yes, this day is surely memorable, for all the wrong reasons.
Wait. Did I say wrong reasons? I stand corrected. This day is memorable for the right reasons; because it marked a definite transformation of my life's progress; given me a renewed sense of direction in life.
Exactly two years ago I came here to mwo, shattered by my execrable behaviour and looking for answers to my horrible predicament. As I re-read my first post, I can still feel the anguish and the emotional agony as if it were yesterday. I was beset with those existential queries of all (closet? rationalizing? ) alcoholics-
-Am I an alcoholic?
-Can I ever get away from the clutches of the ultra-seductive yet eventually soul-destroying booze? Is redemption possible?
Today, after staying away from booze for a full period of two years ( except for a teeny-weeny slip on two consecutive days about 18 months ago) I am beginning to find answers, however partial, to those doubts.
- Labelling oneself an alcoholic/ non-alcoholic is not important. What's important is to realise the existence of a problem - how alcohol starts complicating one's life. Change starts happening at this moment of this awareness. It took me two decades to realise this truth.
- For two years, I have definitely won the battle with booze. In fact the battle was not only with alcohol, but more importantly, with all those rationalizations and myths which drew me towards regular drinking.
As I re-read my past posts, especially those of the early months of sobriety, I realize how much better use of time, energy and resources I am able to make today after giving up drinking. I have rediscovered my long lost passions - of reading, running, meditation and volunteering; earlier I never had time for any of these activities while I was muddling through life in a never-ending alcoholic haze.
The changes in life have come about gradually, almost insiduously but changes for the better. Hopefully, long-lasting too.
As I enter the third year of sobriety, I hope to carry on my positive quest for inner meaning, and have some fun along the way. For sometime in the past, I had become too uptight.
I wish all the folks who have taken the trouble to read through my post all the very best in life. The road to sobriety, although appearing difficult in the intial stages, is well worth the effort.
I would also like to thank all the friends here at mwo, who welcomed me with open arms when I first came here and provided much needed support and guidance, which I was missing at times in real life.
Thanks, Angel, for being such a wonderful friend, philosopher and guide.
Peace to all!
'Lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu'
May the world be filled with peace and joy!
.
Two years since I paused, stood still after a two decade long drinking love story going horribly wrong , reflected upon where I was and where I wish to go further in life....
Two years since I ended up in a barroom brawl and almost temporarily lost my sanity...
Yes, this day is surely memorable, for all the wrong reasons.
Wait. Did I say wrong reasons? I stand corrected. This day is memorable for the right reasons; because it marked a definite transformation of my life's progress; given me a renewed sense of direction in life.
Exactly two years ago I came here to mwo, shattered by my execrable behaviour and looking for answers to my horrible predicament. As I re-read my first post, I can still feel the anguish and the emotional agony as if it were yesterday. I was beset with those existential queries of all (closet? rationalizing? ) alcoholics-
-Am I an alcoholic?
-Can I ever get away from the clutches of the ultra-seductive yet eventually soul-destroying booze? Is redemption possible?
Today, after staying away from booze for a full period of two years ( except for a teeny-weeny slip on two consecutive days about 18 months ago) I am beginning to find answers, however partial, to those doubts.
- Labelling oneself an alcoholic/ non-alcoholic is not important. What's important is to realise the existence of a problem - how alcohol starts complicating one's life. Change starts happening at this moment of this awareness. It took me two decades to realise this truth.
- For two years, I have definitely won the battle with booze. In fact the battle was not only with alcohol, but more importantly, with all those rationalizations and myths which drew me towards regular drinking.
As I re-read my past posts, especially those of the early months of sobriety, I realize how much better use of time, energy and resources I am able to make today after giving up drinking. I have rediscovered my long lost passions - of reading, running, meditation and volunteering; earlier I never had time for any of these activities while I was muddling through life in a never-ending alcoholic haze.
The changes in life have come about gradually, almost insiduously but changes for the better. Hopefully, long-lasting too.
As I enter the third year of sobriety, I hope to carry on my positive quest for inner meaning, and have some fun along the way. For sometime in the past, I had become too uptight.
I wish all the folks who have taken the trouble to read through my post all the very best in life. The road to sobriety, although appearing difficult in the intial stages, is well worth the effort.
I would also like to thank all the friends here at mwo, who welcomed me with open arms when I first came here and provided much needed support and guidance, which I was missing at times in real life.
Thanks, Angel, for being such a wonderful friend, philosopher and guide.
Peace to all!
'Lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu'
May the world be filled with peace and joy!
.
ray:
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