Boredom

[wwbarb]

Boredom

Today is day 50 - does this qualify me as a long term abber??

Boredom is a good description - for me, it's just lonliness. I can't believe how much of my life revolved around booze before this. I can't believe how much of my husband's does. We go out to eat lunch (once in a while) or go shop for something and he can't wait to drop me off so that he can go to the bar. Or, run an errand and come back two hours later. I stopped once and drank club soda - I had nothing to say, and they had nothing to say to me. These are people that I used to think were my friends. I guess if I'm not loud, obnoxious and drunk, we have nothing in common.

My true friends, the ones who have a grip on booze, have families and lives, so I can't intrude on them on the weekend. I have plenty I have to do, but the resentment is really starting to build up. I work out of my house and go days sometimes without seeing people. I also work part time outside of the house, and I'm tired. I work every Saturday and Sunday morning. I try to find things to do, but sometimes, I'm just too damn tired and there is really nothing going on that a "married/single" can do. It would really be nice to have something to look forward to. I'm thinking about backing off my other part time job, but then it would be more time just sitting alone watching yet another movie.

I still don't want a drink - I know the consequences. I just need to put my "thinking cap" on and get more creative with my time.

[Popeye]

Boredom

Hi wwbarb,
50 Days.....Brilliant!

[Arial]

Boredom

Hi wwbarb,


Absolutely! - day 50 is awesome, great job!

With regards to loneliness, I think it could go back to what Mike said in his original post:
"I have to change myself, the way I think, the way I behave and react to the world. I can?t just stand still. I have to move forward. Shift gears, as Neil would say. Life?s full of things to do." - it's just finding them!

What's possibly difficult is that your husband and friends have stood still and you now need to re-eastablish the friendships based on new commonalities or understandings - not always easy - As a single mum with no desire to bring any new men into my children's lives up till now, I've also had difficulty finding something to do which wasn't generally directed to either 'singles' or 'marrieds'. But as you said, get creative! Maybe think about what your part time job offers you and whether it's something you want to continue, or whether giving it up would give you the energy to persue other opportunities - what about interest groups, or professional women's groups , sports activities? something that you can do that would make you more fulfilled without being threatening to your husband/relationship? I found the interest groups really helped me as the focus was on the common interest and the making new friends/contacts just happened naturally.

Good luck with it all - with all these days AF you have created so many more options and possibilities for yourself - a great inspiration to someone with just a week under their belt!