Where are the moderators??

[trixietrack]

Where are the moderators??

thanks a lot for all the insight. living free I think you did a better job at explaining what I wa trying to communicate regarding mods.

I just wanted to see or hear more about people who can moderate, and how they do it. this could be helpful not just to us who have been working on it, but also to those who come to MWO looking for different ways to deal.......

I like the fact that we are all so different and our needs are different too.

[Marv]

Where are the moderators??

Hello all. New guy here. I joined yesterday with the goal of being a moderator for the rest of my life. I celebrated day one AF yesterday- made it through the whole day and night!
I do enjoy drinking and right now can't imagine abstaining my whole life- therefore the goal is moderation from here on out. I will however, take it ODAT. The last thing I want to do is set myself up for failure. I am looking forward to being a part of this comminty. Oh yeah, disclaimer now: forgive my spelling- it is usually pretty bad!

[LVT25]

Where are the moderators??

:welcome: Marv, looking forward to hearing more about you!

[Prest4time]

Where are the moderators??

Hi Marve, and welcome to you!

Although I have not posted on this thread previously, I have been on MWO for two years as a moderator. I came here as a complete mess, and was so grateful for all of the tools available, and I used them all except the CD's, which I later incorporated.

My life changed drastically. My husband was amazed.... I went from blacking out almost every night to very controlled drinking. We talked about it, I told him about this website, I ordered all the supps, and he has been very supportive. Has it been easy? Yes and no. Yes, to find a road to moderation. At this point I feel I need to share that I was also not drinking to the point of having withdrawals. Only wrestling with sleep for a few nights, that is.

After two years, I realized that I have learned to moderate quite well, (with the exceptional overdoing it...), but I find myself dissatisfied. Like... something is still missing?

So I devoured every thread I could about those who went for 30 days but felt so good that they went for another 30 days, etc. I was like, Wow!

Then I went with my husband to a trade show in Las Vegas where I had the pleasure to meet three other fellow MWO' outters! Of the three MWO's I met from here; two were on Antabuse and the third was one's wife who was an awesome inspiration to me personally. I have always been terrified of Antabuse, but after being around them, I was sold.

So I am on it as of Sunday.... loving it and feeling scared too. You know what the BEST part is? Well first, there are no side effects like Topa and Campral... none of that crap! (I personally had some nausea issues, but I do with every new script. No one else here had that, so consider me that one in a million weirdos).

The best part is, it has taken away that "argument" that I have with myself every day. I hate it, and I always lost. Not anymore!
Going on day four, and I know I am just baby steps in, but I am feeling wonderful.

All the best~
P4T

[Marv]

Where are the moderators??

Prest and LVT- thanks for the welcome and the replies. I think this plae is going to help a bunch! For years I moderated successfully- not drinking on the work nights and then imbibing on the weekends. Since last August though, it was an everynight affair. I have known for a while now it is getting outta hand. I have been wrestling with it for sometime now. This week I finally made the decision to get back on track and moderate. I am tired of feeling like crap every morning and thinking about getting a buzz all day long- just to go home from work and repeat the damn cycle.
Today is day 3 AF. And it feels great. I will allow myself the option of drinks on the weekend and committ to being AF during the work nights.
The drinking everyday had many negatives, other than feeling like crap every morning. I am into bodybuilding so my training has suffered greatly. No motivation to train and gaining a bunch of fat from the mpty calories. It also has impacted my family relations and work performance.
So, back on track from here on out. Thanks for the support and I am looking forward to participating here. Hopefully soon, I will get around to posting my full story. Everyone- hang in there and enjoy the journey!

[Croft]

Where are the moderators??

I am just reading this post. Not sure why I have not read it earlier. I hate to say this, but I have had some pretty bad experiences on this site where MWO members have told me that it is impossible to moderate. They pretty much told me I was being stupid for trying and that I should give me. And not just one or two, but several. Lucky for me I am a stubborn little thing and refused to listen to them. I believe in moderation. I believe in the possibility of having a healthy relationship with AL restored. I am getting closer to that goal.

It worries me that I had those experiences as I am sure that I am not the only one. I hope others have been just as stubborn as I and can find their way to moderation happiness as well. I could not be happier right now.

[janedunn26]

Where are the moderators??

Wow, what a great thread. I am new here. I am only 21 days AF and am going for 30 and then planning to mod. My initial plans were to mod and those plans were reinforced after reading the book. I was very inspired and encouraged initially. Then, after my first week, I felt sooo great and read many threads stating that most people cannot. I assume that is probably true for many individuals. I am hoping and feel optimistic that I can moderate and am certainly going to try. I plan on being in the moderating forums frequently to gain inspiration from your experiences and successes...... and, of course, occasional slips.
Thanks for starting this thread.

jane

[dilayne]

Where are the moderators??

Hi! I haven't been around for a while but used to hang out here. I go back and forth between Abstinence, moderation..and what the hell..except I don't think there is a what the hell thread. I've not been succesful with moderation really except for brief periods of time when I was utilizing the whole program diligently...meaning taking the supps, especially the L-glut, GABA and Kudzu..and doing the CDs. I did the topamax for a while but I don't tolerate it well. I'll go 6 months alcohol free if I set my mind to it, with no problem...and haven't experiences 'cravings' during that time..it's only when I'm bingeing..usually a bottle of wine a day, maybe on top of a few beers on a bad day. So, it's easy to talk myself out of being an alcoholic...I like to intellectualize things which can be disastrous to an alcoholic, so at almost 50 years of age, with more years spent not drinking than drinking, I can pretty much admit that I am a functioning alcoholic and if I want to drink, I definitely am playing with fire, but that has been my choice over the past few years..and I do ask myself why I'm making that choice. There have been lessons in it for me for sure..right now, it is a gift to follow the plan again. Now that harmones are changing in my body ferociously, and life is different, I am being called to deal with some things differently and taking care of myself and respecting my physical vulnerabilities (vs. a huge ego and mad determination to be a victor not a victum!) I'm trying to just give myself better odds and to ward off blind spots that can turn alcohol into a killer for me...if I go on to abstinence again, so be it...the point is, bottom life, what is so important about alcohol to go to war with it every day and have to spend countless hours managing it. I know that if I feel threatened enough by it's presence in my life that I ultimately do have a choice about whether I use it or not or want to play mind games with myself about it or not. If the doctor told me that I really shouldn't eat wheat, that it could potentially damage my liver and cause me to feel like crap in the mornings, it would probably be something I could give up in my diet...when I engage in the mental gymnastics about alcohol, I do realize that in itself is telling me that the alcohol has a bit of a grip on me, but it doesn't mean I'm a bad or weak person, it's just that it's a pretty potent chemical and that I am flesh and blood and can be sensitive to it. Sorry, I'm kind of in a rambling mood this morning...I really wanted to make the point that personally, it's been a journey for me and luckily it's not been as dangerous for me as it has been for others, and I've learned a lot. Just keep your eyes open and honest..be honest with yourself and try not to just listen to those who are saying what you want to hear...I'm notorious for doing that, hate as much as I do to admit it. I can be a stubborn old bird. Good luck on moderation. I do know that it is possible for many, but for people with addictive tendencies, it is much harder. Namaste! Di

[dilayne]

Where are the moderators??

p.s. I'm not sure if I made it clear that right now I'm pretty much trying to moderate...I re-read what I wrote and it sounded like I was advocating abstinence...which wasn't my intent, especially since I wouldn't want to jump in and oppose the intention of a thread's focus..again, I think my point is to stay open and honest about your journey. again, good luck!

[LVT25]

Where are the moderators??

Hi guys,

I've kinda backed away from threads that are obviously for the abstainers. I was told by someone that it's hard to see the posts from people that drink in moderation cause they can't. When I do post something I don't usually bring up that I moderate.

The book is all about moderation. I don't think anyone should judge one way or the other. It's going to happen though, and I try to take what I need and leave the rest, and hopefully something I say will actually help someone else.

I think (and am convinced after being here) there are various degrees of alcoholism. I'm pretty sure now I'm not as bad as I thought I was. My true addiction was the cigarettes. I have had alcohol with my smokes for so very long, that without the cigarettes, the beer just isn't as good.

Anyway, we moderators can always stick together!!!

[cowgal]

Where are the moderators??

still unclear

I have successfully moderated in the past, then gone ahead and blown it too.....................for no good reason at all, not angry, not drinking on an empty stomach, not pms-ing.................just have no clue as to some times I am fine w/ 2 beers then others I wake up the next day and start the roll all over again, to the point of maybe losing my job, so I am steering clear for awhile, actually all of last week (well, 3 or 4 days anyway) I had 2 beers and was fine, so now I am making myself more confused on the situation............

Good topic though!!

love,

MA

[Lizzieloca]

Where are the moderators??

Hi Moders,

i am new here. i am 33 and i have been an alcoholic for 12 years. my husband of 9 years is also an alcoholic. for the past 7 years i have been drinking a bottle or two of wine a night. we have been trying to quit drinking for 7 yrs. recently with the help of this site i got 10 days AF. since then i have been trying to moderate but i am not sure how to do it. it seems i cannot stop after one or two drinks.

how do people moderate? any suggestions?

peace and love,
lizzie:h:h

[Sunbeam]

Where are the moderators??

I went AF for over two months. Prior to that I was a weekly binge drinker. Some days I did not drink at all, some days I just had a couple of glasses, but weekly I would find myself on yet another binge. I tried quitting and cutting back in the past, but it never worked.

Since then I have had two glasses of wine on two occasions. I haven't wanted more than that, and I don't want to drink more frequently than I have becasue I fear I will increase. I'm not currently taking meds or supplements, and don't want to. This is just my experience, for what it is worth. Maybe I would be considered a flexible abstainer. Is that like not joining a political party???

[LVT25]

Where are the moderators??

Hi Lizzie--saw your post in other thread, but didn't want to leave you hanging here. I think everyone should start with the book and go from there. It is a really good read. Most recommend a few weeks af before trying to moderate. The hypnosis cd's are a key ingredient also!

[Bookish]

Where are the moderators??

I AM A SUCCESSFUL MODERATOR and have been for a couple of years.

It's never perfect and you have to keep an eye on the beast in your brain. It will sneak out from time to time and sometimes it's hard to put it back in the cage. There are times when I get darn tired of fighting with it and would like the peace of abs, but that is not how my life is setup. My hubby, family and friends all drink and I am not interested in changing all that to be ABs.

I go long periods of successful mods and tend to drop off the site for a while and then it is time to come back for a check in.

All I can say is thank goodness for MWO.