Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Hang in there J-vo... eat fruit today... do what makes you feel good.... go for another walk... play with your boy for a bit... breathe deep... you had 4 or so glasses of wine? HEY NOW girl... please give yourself a break! I say you have nothing to feel bad about... that does not sound like out of control... the bloatedness of the turkey dinner and the big old headache is another matter... but as far as Modding is concerned I think you did all right? Sounds like it to me dear.

Anyway, you know how you feel... just go easy on yourself. Today is a new day, and there are bumps, ups and downs, highs and lows...always... and the point is yesterday happened to be one of those outrageously big American meal days (Lol!), correct? It's not a rule, more like the exception to the rule... a big dinner like that. And a get-together when everyone feels obligated to drink... possibly, one too many.

SO I think you are fine. You are doing great from what I can hear/ read/ see these past few weeks.

Cheers Jvo dear. I HOPE you feel better.

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Good morning squad!

The first thing I did yesterday was to check the news to see what was going on in India. I looked at the MWO Mod Squad on our community laptop and read up to see that zed?s family and friends are ok. I didn?t post because I just didn?t want the trail on that computer and simply didn?t have time to get downstairs to my computer with 13 family members coming over. Zed, I was so very relieved to hear that your family was physically safe. Keep us updated. I remember well the Columbine High School tragedy near my own community when my own kids were one just out of and one still in high school, and of course the 9-11 attacks. These things affect us all. The closer we are to the nucleus the more it hurts. Know that I am hurting and grieving with you these past days. In all my lifetime, I will never, ever understand this kind of violence from one human being to another. My heart is with you friend, and with your family.

Ask, you are right, this is a unique group. I feel like we have become close, but we always welcome and encourage others to join us. I do hope we never sound as though we are exclusive. We just want this program to work for everyone who comes here. Your Thanksgiving yoga class sounds amazing. I will think about those concepts and have saved your thoughts to my MWO file.

Zed, just read your most recent post, no it wasn?t a downer. You are hurting and grieving and it is good for you to talk about it and to write about it. You are away from your homeland at present. If you were there, those around you would be where you are, feeling as you are. After 9-11 the US practically shut down for a couple days. I can remember that after about 2 days of just feeling unexplainably numb, my husband and I finally ventured out to a warehouse-type market. The faces of everyone around us were still as bleak as ours. Then I heard the most beautiful music? a young toddler?s laughter. I turned to see the little boy sitting in the shopping cart with his mom by his side with his big smile and sparkling eyes. I couldn?t help but smile back and even let out a little laughter myself. I saw that others around this 1-year old were doing the same. I can never forget the feelings of despair after the attacks? like it was me personally they had attacked, and how it felt like that feeling would never go away. And then it was a tiny little boy who in the midst of it gave me a glimmer of joy, if only for a brief moment. I hope that something at your dinner party brings you a glimpse of joy.

j-vo, hang in there. Pick yourself up by the bra straps. Today is a new day. Drink lots of water, you are probably dehydrated. Do something good for yourself today. Try to do something good for someone else today, it will take you ?out of yourself?. That could be as simple as replying to a newcomer on this forum and welcoming them.

DeeBee, Backgammon, huh? My game is Scrabble. Problem is no one wants to play with me, they?re scared! It?s just Scrabble for heaven?s sake. I just found out yesterday that my neice's husband is a challanger, I thought I might loose to him for a while there. I only won by 11 little points! When is your daughter?s birthday? My hubby?s is today, the 28th.

My Thanksgiving Day went well. Hubby took over the cooking of the turkey so I let him, ha! Here is my family in a nutshell: I asked for a headcount last Sunday and got 5. I?m experienced in these things so I planned for 15. The final count was 13, so I did well with my fuzzy math. I planned to have a glass of wine with dinner and another after dinner with games. I stuck perfectly to my plan. I think I worried hubby a wee bit when he saw me quickly grab up a wine glass before dinner, thinking I was over anxious to get my wine. What I was actually doing was ensuring that I got one of the smaller glasses so that it didn?t get over-filled. It was a fun and exhausting day.

A big hi to Vlad, stay warm?

Limers, I agree about DeeBee?s bird, I was hoping it didn?t end up on her Thanksgiving table SA style (that was bad).

O2M that turkey? WOW? what can I say? My oven isn?t that big.

Ducky, Lila, St John, Starting, GettingBetter, lurkers, anyone else I missed? Big hello and big hugs ((( :l )))

periwinkle

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Hi and welcome everyone, newer and older,

Zed, thanks for sharing your heart with us. I read James Michner's book on the Middle East this summer, The Source. It helped me understand that the cultural differences in that area have existed since the beginning of time. Maybe some of those same kinds of forces come into play in India. Culturally, it is hard for us in the US to understand when we live in a very new country, formed from different cultures. Not that there aren't cultural differences and misunderstandings - there are, and those emotions run deep. But it still is in a different league.

j-vo, I'm sorry your moderation plan didn't work as well as you had hoped. You are the best judge of what is or isn't working. What's hard is figuring out what will work better for you. I think the only way to figure it out for yourself is to keep asking questions, of yourself and of us, your alkie friends.

Peri, I married into a family that constantly does crosswords and embraces Scrabble. I'm a reasonably intelligent person, but I haven't any chance of winning in that crowd. They do like games of all kinds, and I grew up playing a lot of board games with our Dad. So I try to encourage games that have some element of chance, so I will have some chance of not losing every game. After nearly 30 years in the family, I'm finally getting better at Password.

My Thanksgiving was nice, with six of us at the table. My husband opened a very nice Pinot Noir, from the state of Oregon. Zed, you are probably not impressed, but they are doing a great job out there making wine. Anyway, I had a couple of glasses, for the second time in a week. My next occasion will likely be some holiday event in the next couple of weeks. I still have house guests, so I should probably go see what they are doing instead of sequestering myself in the computer room.

Deebs, just where does one go shopping for an avatar with an ostrich theme? Love it. St. John, doesn't it feel great to get back to the self you want to be? GettingBetter, I miss my parents on every holiday, but Christmas is the worst. Mom died in '84, and Dad in '87, but you never forget. Lila, sounds like your holiday was what you wanted it to be.

take care, all

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Dear friends... and the amazing ladies Peri and Sun, in particular, since I was last here. I thank you both for your thoughtful and kind words. And for thinking of my people and my land in this unfortunate time. In this day and age, we are all precariously close to events like this, that's just a fact - and I can't but help feel that it has to do with the world becoming a more unjust place, with even greater than ever before, disparities between the haves and the have-nots and the have-little and the have-no-hope. It's about Hope in the end isn't it? And we are blessed to have Hope. Some people are not so blessed. To me it's that simple, and the cause of the violence and mindlessness of the world. And the more Hope that can be given to more people, the less of these events we will see... I have a feeling. Unfortunately, giving Hope, to a large measure, is in the hands of the governments and the people we elect, who represent us and who create policies... and sometimes, as in the case of China and other non-democratic countries, regimes to rule us, in which we do not even a stake in choosing our rulers... and then, in the case of places such as Tibet... to have no voice.. to be unheard and unrepresented... and then there are peoples in even worse situations.. who have been totally forgotten. The completely hopeless. But in our own ways, as individuals, we can pass Hope on to our fellow beings. And that's what I try to do, and what you try to do. And the power of this Hope on an individual level can conquer whole armies I think. The power of Hope. I think of one man from my country, who dislodged a whole Empire... and by doing so, gave birth to nations, just with this simple power... he gave the hopeless Hope.

If only there were more Mahatmas (Great Souls) though...

Anyway. On the topic of Hope. One that is so relevant to us here in the Mod Squad. How is everyone doing today? Here it is a glorious wintry Saturday morning. My mobile phone rang and woke up me early, and now I am awake. Just showered and brewed some coffee. First cup of the day! Have some shopping to do before the dinner party. Got to buy some basmati rice.. and some wine... and some spices. Oh boy! Logistics.. Boxer Boy bows down to all you ladies who just handled the logistics of Thanksgiving dinner so well... RESPECT!

So I have no plan as such for this evening, except my Moderation Rule 11: Never Get Unattractive. I think this rule will hold me in good stead this evening. I think I need to drink wine slow. 2 glasses before dinner max. One during. That'll be good. If I can keep to that, I'll be fine. See?? I just made a plan for myself! Nice. I am feeling proud. zed's finally getting his sh*t together. Impressive.

Thanks again Peri for thinking of me, and my fam. Your sweet note meant a lot. I know you have a special connection to my land and its traditions. A cosmic connection.

And Sun... hey there... Pinot Noir from the North-west Pacific coast... I could not look down on wine that sounds as deliciously promising as that... hmmm..... lovely... I can just about taste it... smell those grapes... oooh boy. That's the alkie in me talking... get a grip zed! Jeez.

Hope everyone is well, having a great long weekend in the States, and a peaceful weekend for the rest of us in the Old World.

AND WELCOME to any newcomers. Please join us! It might seem like we know each other well... but that's only because we pay attention and welcome newbies (I've only been in the Mod Squad for a month myself!) and share a lot with each other. So join in, share, listen, lurk... write... be with us. It will be our honour to have a bigger Squadron... we are looking for fresh recruits all the time.

Jvo, hope you will feel better today when you wake up. C'mon! You can do it!

Vera, long time no news from you. You must be in the thick of the Thanksgiving weekend... enjoy!

Lila, Eve (Bali beach girl), everyone else... Deebers... and Vlad... GB.. O2M...St. J...

bye now folks.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Hi Everyone,
Thanks to you all for the warm welcomes...You don't seem exclusive at all, just wonderfully connected.

Zed, you write beautifully. I can only echo the sentiments, and sympathies others have expressed. The Taj looks so fabulous in the clips on the news. What an unbelievable tragedy.

My husband is going to Singapore, and then to Beijing, for work, leaving the US on December the fourth. I've been reading some of your descriptions of Beijing to him...Much more evocative than any travel book. I'm excited for him, that he'll be able to see a part of the world we've never been to. Of course, for me, it also means being the only parent home with three little boys for two weeks. I'm thinking I may try to make that two weeks mostly AF, except that I have a big holiday party to go to on Friday, (my mother will be visiting that weekend and will babysit) and a visit from family on Saturday. I feel good about the modding I've done the last two days. The party I'll go to with a friend, since my husband will be out of the country. I'd like to have two or three glasses of wine...But if I feel buzzed after two to stop. I'll space them out, and eat some food and drink some water. I am feeling more confident about drinking moderately, but I know that confidence can be dangerous...I don't want to get complacent.

Periwinkle, I loved your expression for JVO, "pick yourself up by your bra straps"...never heard that one before. Personally, I feel relieved to have Thanksgiving over...seems like it was a bit of a stressor for a lot of us. I had two glasses of wine again tonight, and plan on not drinking tomorrow, or again until Friday, when I've got that party. Take care everyone. G.B.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

hi Mod Squad
As I write this, I am crying. My sister, her husband and baby are leaving early tomorrow; the visit is over. I am feeling raw and sad. Afraid of my new future - my new life being responsible for three little ones. And all that has happened in Mumbai, and Thailand, maybe a little lesser so. So much going on in the world. It doesn't feel safe. I hope I am making some sense. Zed, I really appreciate your sensitive take on all the horribleness that has happened in India. It is just so - I don't know the words to express how I feel. Strange, sad, shocking.
Hope, you mention. Now there is a word to think about. What are we without hope? And what are we with hope. Everything, anything, it seems.
Sunbeam, maybe I will read that book. I have read Michener; I didn't know he had one about the Middle East.
J-vo, I drank on Thanksgiving as well. Everyone was just sitting around drinking wine or beer. It just seemed normal, so I had a glass of wine and got a fuzzy head. Then I have to fight having my head all fuzzy. And I had more than one. Holidays!
Peri, Deebs, Vlad, Oney and Limers if you are around, Starts, Getting Better and anyone else I may be forgetting right now as I cry, but good tears - good night, take care,
love,
Lila

[ducky]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Zed, I totally agree with you that a lack of hope is responsible for so many atrocities. Like the others here I truly enjoy your writings...

Getting, two weeks is a long trip but it sounds as though you have a good plan formulated. Lila, I hope you are feeling better today. I was single for a long time and I know exactly how it feels when friends or family leave and you are alone again. It is difficult but you will do fine.

Trying to complete my Christmas shopping online today. I hate shopping!!!

Hope everyone is well today.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

thanks Ducky, I am feeling more normal this morning...actually even a bit cheery! Good luck shopping!

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Dear all,

GettingBetter, welcome again. I like you and your quiet words. You seem a gentle soul, and this is something we all seem to have in common. Who would have thought it? The bunch of us... I realize with happiness that we have MUCH more than just AL abuse in common... in fact, the more I get to know this group.. the more I have realized (and continue to realize) with amazement, that the AL factor is actually just one of the things, and I'd go as far to say...a relatively minor point, that we have in common. We are joined together by so much more... by love and compassion and a search for peace within ourselves, and gentleness.. and redemption. And the Hope of a new, better life to live! It's truly amazing indeed. And maybe that's why our group is so special on these boards, so tightly knit together, and why we write such long posts to each other! Lol!

This morning a childhood friend of mine called. She lives in Washington DC now; she is married to an American. She was on the verge of tears, watching the news... as youngsters, we had spent days in the very places that were attacked this week. I guess it got to her, being so far away and seeing those clips on TV of those all-too-familiar buildings burning.

Lilac, what a beautiful note you wrote, each word dripping with rawness and honestly. We are alone, yes, Lila. We are all alone. But we are all with each other also. And there is much sadness and suffering in this world. But there is an equal degree of joy and wonder. I am witness to both sides. And I think we all are? So, yes, cry if you must cry. But laugh too. And feel sadness and joy equally, because they are measured in this universe in equal parts. And the world goes on, equally in darkness and light. Feeling nature will get you through your darkest hour, as you sense the coming of the new first light...of morning and a new day! You are such a wonderfully sensitive person.

So today passed off well. I cooked some food, and the curry dinner party went off quite well. Everyone seemed sensitive and vulnerable and beautiful, and we all laughed, but never too loud, and we all looked at each other with gentleness. At the party, there were people from China, India (me), Canada, Malaysia, Australia, South Africa, America, Japan... England... pretty incredible. All of us here in Beijing. Laughing and comforting each other, just as human beings that live and work with each other. Once again, amazing!

Two of the women are pregnant. One was due TODAY!!... but no luck. We joked that the spicy Indian curry I cooked might just help her get baby on the way!! ha ha.. : ) The other is 5 months pregnant. And there was a little chap, a 7 month old baby, whose mother is Chinese and father is Canadian.. he saw his first cat tonight. He looked and looked and then got a bit upset... the cat and him were the same size.. The cat (named Bella) - this grand old dame of the house we were at - was as shocked as the baby boy was... they looked at each other.. the cat walked off and meowed, the baby whimpered and looked perplexed at the sight of this new creature... It was priceless to witness... I had a good laugh. Lol! Good news to report is that I had a couple of glasses of nice white wine (ok, maybe 3...) before dinner... and then during dinner another one maybe... and then after dinner a smaller nightcap of red. Now, for me, that's not a lot. Mind you, this was over the course of four hours and I was busy helping get things ready and served in the kitchen, and talking to everyone... so I didn't really notice the glasses so much. I was busy. But I drank at a moderate pace, sometimes losing my glass for a while, as I talked to others and joked around... and sometimes while I was in kitchen also... so in sum, I got a bit of a buzz at one point, but the pace kept it very controlled, I was fine... and I DID NOT GET UNATTRACTIVE at any point (YES!!!!) and it was a good night. I am home now. Will drink a bottle of water and get to bed! Made it! Yikes. Tomorrow and Monday are zed's AF pre-designated days as per my Drink Tracker... let's see how that goes....

Hey, I wanted to share with you all a blog post from a friend of mine in Mumbai. She is a very dear friend. She sent it to me earlier today, fresh off the press. For those of you interested in the events in Mumbai (Bombay), it puts things in perspective and offers a slice of why and how these attacks have wounded us on a very human level.

Tales from the life of a palindrome: THE OTHER TAJ - A TRIBUTE

Take care everyone. Have a great Sunday. I'm off to bed soon. What a long, eventful day.

GB - funny, but I will be in Singapore Dec 5-7, for that weekend. Guess your hubby and I will be there the same time. I am going to meet my parents, who will be there that weekend... AND then I am back in Beijing. Who knows? Maybe your hubby and I will pass each other in the street in Singapore..? Or be sitting next to each other on the flight to Beijing..? Or be sitting in the same coffee shop or restaurant or bar in Beijing some evening? The guys on this thread a while ago were talking about how they believed that there is nothing such as a coincidence. I tend to agree with that. That everything is destined. There is nothing such as pure chance... such as luck.

But maybe I have it wrong. Maybe life is actually all about chance... who can say for sure? I'd like to hear more thoughts on this from the Squad and our friends as and when we have thoughts on this topic. No rush. Just whenever.

The weather was lovely here today. Like an early Spring evening. A bracing and clear night. Amazing

Cheers.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Hello Modders,

Thank you for the kind words Zed. I'm a little self-conscious at the moment, since my husband is here next to me, wondering, I suspect, what exactly I'm doing on the lap top. He knows, a little, but I think it seems strange and surprising to him that I'm communicating with "strangers". So I won't write for long tonight.

My three little boys, husband and I were invited to an impromptu dinner tonight at a neighbors'. They had a fire in a fire pit, on a cold New England night. I happily accepted a glass of red wine. I was kind of unwinding after the visit from my mother, which had left me feeling tense and sad. My boys are wonderful...Smart, sweet, healthy kids. But they're wild sometimes...The oldest, at nine, is very sensitive and a bit volatile. When he's hurt and angry he shows it with every fiber of his being. The six year old looks like an angel, but has a wild spirit. He climbs everything he can get his hands and feet on, and he's delighted by the worst sort of six year old humor. My youngest, who's five, is adorable, and self-assured and cheerful...but prone to smacking his older brothers when they offend him. So their grandmother, my mom, finds fault in each of them, and it breaks my heart and makes me feel tense and defensive, but also scared that I'm doing something wrong as I raise them. Anyway, I was both sad and relieved to see her go this morning. Tonight I suppose I broke my "don't drink as a response to stress" rule. I had three glasses. I didn't feel drunk...A little buzzed, and a little blue, actually. It wasn't hard to stop at three. Still, it also wasn't the best time to drink at all, if what I want is to deal with feelings without the help/hindrance of wine. Tomorrow I will not drink. My plan is not to drink again until Friday, when I have a party to go to. More on that later.

This was supposed to be short. Must remember to talk with hubby, not withdraw. Yes, Zed, it's funny to think you may cross paths...Neither I nor anyone I know has ever been to Singapore or Beijing, and suddenly when my husband's going to those distant lands, I meet you. Hmmmm....

Well, best wishes to all. I feel I could type for hours, but need to log out. Take care.

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Dear GettingBetter - holy something. Three boys, aged 5 to 9... I bow down deep to all mothers, and today to you in particular. Wow. That right there takes more strength than pretty much anything I can think of.

3 glasses - hey.. well deserved. The point is, you wanted to carry on (just as I did last night after the dinner party) but you stopped at 3. So good on you!

Stopping is SO much more difficult than starting, isn't it?... so that's the trick I guess... to control it at both ends... to know when it's ok to start... and to find the way to stop. And of course, to have a pace and enjoy that little buzz in the middle! I have to come at Moderation from all 3 sides to be truly successful with it. WHEN TO START-the Middle-WHEN TO STOP. The 3rd step has usually been my downfall. Well, to be honest, I've been disastrous at all 3 steps...

I guess for me, I always felt that I had to keep drinking to keep the buzz. It's only very recently that I have started understanding and applying to myself the thought that I can STOP drinking... and the buzz doesn't go away... it stays and I can enjoy it more. I used to feel that if I stopped, that feeling would go the next minute and I'd be sober again.. which made me drink non-stop once I started. Which lead to binging on epic scales needless to say.. the rest is history. I am so ridiculous I make myself laugh Lol!

Good luck for an AF week ahead!!

I see Eve is doing well in Bali! Deebs and rest of the gang in the US (other than Lila & Periwinkle & Sunbeam) have taken the long weekend off from the boards. Let's hope everyone's having a relaxing weekend, and that it's been a successful one (a tricky one, yes) for all. Let's wait to hear some stories about how it worked out for the team as next week comes around. Should be interesting!

cheers, zed

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 24th Nov

Hi squad,

It's very late here. I couldn't sleep so I got up and decided to catch up.

zed, your amazing words of encouragement lifted me. Thanks. Curry dinner party, yummy! I love curry. What a wonderful mix of folks at the gathering. Zed you are right, we are all quite sensitive and thoughful here. A lot of emotion has come up for me the past couple days with the events in India and Bangkok. Some family stuff too. I honestly do think about my friends on the forum here, especially the mod squad as we do get to know each other the most.

gettingbetter;480220 wrote:
Periwinkle, I loved your expression for JVO, "pick yourself up by your bra straps"...never heard that one before.

GB, I wish I could claim it. It's a title of a book I saw one day while browsing in the library. It made me laugh and I introduced it to the mod squad and it made every one here laugh too, so I thought we could all use it. That's actually where zed got his nick name boxer boy... you see, he doesn't wear a bra (at least that he'll admit to). And he confessed that he wears boxers. Now you are in on the secret. :H See there, stick around, you'll learn lots of really exciting things! I love when you talk about your little boys. Ah the memories.

My moderation plans have gone just fine. I had the 2 galsses of wine on Thanksgiving. I/we didn't drink on hubby's birthday. I made him a nice dinner at home (kinda broke this year so we didn't go out). And we had a quiet evening at home. It was cold and snowy here today and after a quiet day today we had a snuggler after dinner this evening (hot chocolate and pepermint schnapps)... just one. Tomorrow for the Bronco game, I don't know yet. Beer tastes nasty to me right now so I may just stick to water.

Lila, hope you're doing better. I well remember the days of being the single one of the family. I'm glad you could cry about it. Family stuff is sometimes hard. But regardless, it's still our family. And it just is what it is.

I'm going back to bed now.
Happy Sunday,
periwinkle :h