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Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

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    Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

    Hi all,
    GB, I am happy to share what I'm doing, as well as how much I am drinking (through Drink Tracker). I have toyed with the idea of posting under My Story, so the people in this group don't need to hear me repeating myself, but here goes:

    I did 2.5 months AF starting in late January 2008.
    I struggled with moderation April - August. I drank weekends, and often on Weds pm. Not nearly as much as before I quit, but still feeling strong cravings, drinking when I really didn't want to, drinking more than I intended. Pretty much I seemed to be doing what most of the other moderators were doing. It is hard to know for sure, many don't wish to share too many details and that is their priviledge.

    Late August I read a post mentioning that it takes a week to get alcohol out of your system. So maybe I should try having a drink just once per week? That worked much better, not so many cravings. Then the rule about "no drinking alone" sank into my dense skull, sometime in September. BINGO! Most of my drinking was alone. Get rid of that, and I'm not drinking much. This sounds almost too simple, because dealing with alcohol is complex.

    One complication in my life is that my husband drinks daily, moderately. But mostly he does this out of my sight now, since I quit in January, because he knows I have a problem, and doesn't want me to join him. He has a small media room in the basement, drinks from a coffee cup so it isn't too obvious. I occasionally suggest a meal with wine, but he doesn't. It will be a very long time before he trusts my judgement on how much to drink.

    I'm not using meds or supps because I had already quit drinking a few days before I found this site. It never made sense to me to start using thse supports just to be able to drink again. I also want a plan I can follow the rest of my life, and that wouldn't include taking these products the rest of my life.

    So there I think is a secret of moderation: depending on how much damage alcohol has already done to your body, you may be able to control drinking at a low level. After a week without alcohol in your body, I think cravings are nearly all psychological, but they can still be very strong. Drinking moderately is therefore also a learned skill: all the rules people have posted are very helpful in learning to limit what you drink, but most people can't follow them consistently. To be successful, you also need goals. You can break a rule, but still meet a goal.

    I hope this information helps you, and will inspire helpful comments from others here.
    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

    Comment


      Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

      hi all, i have been floating around this site since November and from initially feeling welcomed i ended up feeling lost! i have just read through this thread and would like to join you all as i am trying to mod and you all sound so honest and supportive, i want to feel like i belong somewhere, can i join?? i am fed up of reading new posts every day and not really feeling connected to anyone! when i have been in chat it all gets a bit ;clicky; and i end up feeling like I've been told off!
      Keeps x:happyheart:

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        Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

        hi Keep Walking
        That would be great, welcome! I felt a bit lost before I joined this thread as well.
        Lila

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          Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

          thanks lila x
          Keeps x:happyheart:

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            Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

            Yep, you are welcome to visit here regularly. I imagine you wish to moderate, but have you done any AF time yet? Many feel that's a good way to get a jump-start, to get perspective on life.
            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

            Comment


              Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

              been AF since dec 1st but will be moderating through christmas, and then strict rules in new year - i hope, taking the supps and listening to cd;s every day x ps just bought a new notebook and struggling with small keyboard so apologies for typos!
              Keeps x:happyheart:

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                Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                good luck all

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                  Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                  Hi Keep Walking! Glad you found your way to this thread. It is a great support system for those who want to moderate. I agree with Sun, a period of AF is a great way to start. Sounds like you have a good start to that. Tell us more about your plan when you have a minute.

                  I too felt alone and lost for a while. It's good when we find where we fit. So, wecome to the Mod Squad! We are growing by leaps and bounds and we love it that way! You too have come a long way since your early days here. I hope you find comfort from the squad as I have. Feel free to PM me any time too.

                  Stay close, this group really helped me through my 30 days AF. You can do this. We are here to help you!

                  Love ya,
                  periwinkle :h
                  Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

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                    Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                    THANKS PERI, with a welcome like that im here to stay, appreciated x
                    Keeps x:happyheart:

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                      Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                      Hi Mod Squad,
                      I started reading here yesterday evening and didn?t make it past Lila?s post about the General section of the MWO forum. So I started reading there and WOW. I guess I am in our little corner of the world here so much that I didn?t realize so much what was going on out there. I have read some nasty stuff, I have read some foul language, and I tend to stop reading and move on to another thread.

                      Lila, were you speaking of WIP or someone else who has left? I?m sorry that you are feeling sad about things. Are you feeling any better today?
                      I?ve been thinking about your saying that pets have no rights. You seemed really adamant about that. I honestly have not thought about it that way, except that I had qualified my desire to be with a loving, not abusive home. Certainly an animal in an abusive situation would need the right to get out. But I looked at our dog last night and this morning wondering if he desires ?rights?? I can?t imagine what else he would want or need as a dog. So I wondered if there are some rights you feel you have missed out on in your life that maybe led you to make that observation. Maybe something to ponder?
                      I tend to think that all my encounters with animals such as the eagle, the baby mountain goat, etc have some kind of message for me. I just don?t always know what that is. EvieLou recommended looking into books by Ted Andrews for some guidance for my animal and plant ?encounters?.

                      GB, so how did the seltzer and cranberry go? That sounds really refreshing. Glad to hear that you didn?t have the second glass of wine. I may have mentioned it before, but I have found Tension Tamer tea to be very effective at calming my stress. My #1 mod rule is that I do not drink to sooth negative emotions. I have inserted this into my hypno cd suggestions often, something like, ?when I am feeling stressed I will make myself a cup of Tension Tamer tea.? It is by Celestial Seasonings (the same ones who make Sleepy Time). They are a local manufacturer so it?s very easy to get anywhere around here. But I do know that you can order it from their web site too. Maybe it can help you too.

                      HI vlad, I can?t drink coffee before bed unless I want to stare at the ceiling all night. :cupajoe: Love my coffee in the morning though! I don?t see the point of decaf so it?s herbal tea at night for me.

                      Sunbeam, you are doing awesome with your AL moderation! You are such an inspiration! I find a lot of the threads on the forum have a lot of drinking stories on them. Part of the system is to support each other through the rough times so we can get to the point where we are in control or to learn that we are not able to mod and should take the AF route. We?ve talked about successful moderators not posting much and perhaps that is part of it. I really don?t know, like WIP said one time, we don?t know because they?re not here telling us why. So we really need your support to learn what you did during those times when you were still learning how to make it work for you. On the other hand if it compromises your own moderation efforts then I understand. You do what's best for you by all means! OK so I had to go check out Vera Bradley bags. I had never heard of them. Now I will always see you toting around a diaper bag :handbag: [LOL].

                      j-vo, you too with the Vera Bradley? Am I behind the times? It?s good to hear from you. I am so sorry to hear that you had a bad day at school. I think that teachers in our society are the most underpaid and underappreciated profession there is. I remember when my first son went to school and by the time he was in first grade I was in awe of what teachers do, how caring they have to be, what they put up with not only from the kids but from the parents and the administration (OMG). I honestly don?t know why anyone would sign up for it other than for the love of the kids. But it seems like that is such a small piece of it anymore. Teachers are my heroes! :clapclap: It is very annoying that it makes the news that a kid does something really wrong behaviorally and then complains because he/she is not then allowed to make the speech at graduation because of his academic achievement. Why shouldn?t the school be able to make that call? And why does that make the local news like it?s so unfair? Aaarrrggg!!!

                      DeeBee, I?m glad to hear that your daughter is going to the Waldorf school next year, sounds very positive. Respect is so very important. And I am also glad that you have never heard of Vera Bradley either! OK, I will have to post the white chili. I was going to try to convert cups and tablespoons so that everyone could use the recipe. O2M made me think of that one day when she said she had learned that 1 cup is not a teacup or a mug! Made me LOL! I too love gardening, as long as I keep it small. If it?s too big, it can get away from me.

                      Yea Ducky, another never heard of Vera Bradley friend! I think we?re even now LOL! You can google it. The rum meltaways sound really scrumptious. I would be more than a little overweight if I lived with you!

                      Eve, can?t wait for you to return and tell us your stories.

                      Life goals? hmmm? A couple years ago I decided a good goal was ?balance?. I even made a plaque that hangs in my office. I painted the word balance in the center and painted pairs of items around it to represent things in my life I wanted to balance. It has: a sun and moon, a yin and yang, a heart and tear drop, coffee cup and snowflake, house and car, butterfly and yogi in lotus pose. I still see it as a life goal, learning balance in all life challenges. My battle with AL fits in to the plaque I painted. I hadn?t actively started thinking about moderating its consumption at that time, but it fits in to the border I painted around the entire piece of art. Because it surrounds everything in my life that I want to balance. With my AL consumption out of control and out of balance, everything else in my life could not have the balance I longed for. I am beginning to see that getting that piece in balance makes everything else in my life much easier to balance.

                      Long post, but I had a lot to catch up on,
                      periwinkle :winkmonkey:
                      Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

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                        Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                        hi modders
                        good morning
                        Peri - I just would not want to come back as someone's pet. I mean, I am sure your pets are perfectly happy, but what about the humane society and all that? oh,,,things I have missed out on in my life? Well, lots. I try not to think like that, but honestly, lots. Lots....hmmmm...but what does one do with that thought? That is a very interesting connection. If you have any intuitive thoughts, tell me. I am a bit lost at the moment and open to hearing anything...
                        THat sounds great, your balance plaque. Probably very very good for your subconscious.
                        well, I am up too early....maybe I will journal now..
                        oh, yeah, wip being gone, I was a bit upset, to be honest. I very much liked *seeing* her around.
                        Lila

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                          Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                          I am aware of the MWO site changes, but haven't read most posts. I understand there is a need to have moderators who monitor activity, keep things under control, delete disrespectful conversations. But I am shocked and dismayed to learn from you guys that WIP has been banned. She has contributed way more than anyone on this site to my recovery. Many were not ready to hear her reality-based information, because denial is such a huge factor in recovery from alcohol problems. This site has just lost a significant healing force.
                          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                          Comment


                            Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                            hi Sunbeam
                            No wip was not banned! But she was attacked, I guess more than a few times, so she left.
                            Lila

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                              Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                              Good morning Modders,

                              Hi Sunbeam and Lila!

                              Making a second turkey dinner for my brother and his wife, who missed Thanksgiving. Also made cucumbers pickled with juniper berries last night. I am on a cooking jag lately.

                              I am sorry to hear WIP has left. There is such a delicate balance to be had here. Some people appreciate the straight talk and some just aren't ready to handle it I suppose. I think I tend not to be specific about my AL use on a daily basis because although I am doing better and get a lot out of this thread, I feel some members (no one on this thread) might "pounce" on me because my progress/goals are not as aggressive as theirs. Maybe that is just my paranoia, combined with a little guilt that I have not made as much progress as I would like. However, the more I read about what others are doing the more motivated I get to keep tightening my goals so that is good I think...

                              Lila, regrets....I have so many. The biggest is never getting to have children. It has left such a hole in my heart. But I don't want to be a downer here...I guess it's best to just move forward.

                              Hope all the modders are doing well today.

                              Comment


                                Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

                                hi Ducky
                                Yes, I know what you mean. Lots of people give lectures about what is and isn't modding. That is why I like this thread since it isn't like that.
                                Funny, about regrets, I was thinking about things done to me. Hmmm, maybe I am thinking like a victim. Not good. I can see why you would be sad not having children.
                                Turkey dinner sounds yummy!
                                Lila

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