Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Why does that say "Mod Sqaud"?

Took my honey haired girl to our local coffee shop for breakfast.
It is a very hip place and also has some of the best food around.
We earned this by walking Lazydog and then taking ourselves for a little hike.

Once our bellies were full of exotic soups, melts and warm drinks we walked until her toes got a little cold ( I warned her, you can wear TOO MANY socks) then we went home to warm up a little.

Next stop: try out the new sled...
I took her to a hill I used to go down when I was young.
It's funny how much smaller the hill seems now...but what memories.

Cat will be be impressed that we found a damaged snow board on the slope that "I'm sure I can fix".
She's amused by all my waiting projects (not).

After the slope, we went to the pet store; (we left our plastic sled, that I hate, with 2 kids who didn't have one and we're managing to have fun with ours)

We went to the pet store because we have an aquarium that has been empty since I cleaned it
and accidently killed all the fish in it last year
(the poor babies were apparently doing just fine in their toxic soup.)

The corner needed life.
I've been a little blue since an old friend left town recently, and I needed to breathe life back into something.
I hope the new fish live, or I'm going to feel like shit.

HHG dragged the garbage cans out to the curb; I helped the fishies start to adjust to their new home.

We'll warm up again before we decide what's next.
I'll have to pick Cat up from work and heat her up some leftovers.

Then..tonight "LOST" is on TV; and then maybe "Life on Mars".
I'm not a huge TV fan, but we have a big cozy couch and TV time is family time.
And families are, after all, what's most important...

Until later,Modders
~Kid~

[Sunbeam]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Hi Everybody,
I'm still mostly lurking, but just can't resisist you guys. I really do have so many other things to do.

Kid, you sound so great, it just makes me smile and feel warm to read your posts.

Brother Zed, glad you're back. I never thanked you at all for that Moderator of the Year thing. I really appreciate it, made me feel like I accomplished something besides making some great friends. Not that you can ever have enough friends.

Sister Deebs, you too sound busy, but good.

Everybody, take care of yourselves.

[cyclefan]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Scooch over everybody!

*scooch* *scooch* ahhh... OK, I'm here. Took long enough, but I needed to do that abstaining thingie for a couple of months there, then I needed to try out my redrinking wings over a period of a few weeks to see if I was possessed by the Beast, which I wasn't, at least so far I wasn't so, so far so good.

Hi, I'm cyclefan not because I ride but because I watch other people ride bikes, specifically young men in Europe, although I am beginning to appreciate the advances in the US cycling scene, seeing as how the US is finally starting to get their act together in the sport. I'll bore you all with details as the season gets underway I'm sure. :H

I've been following this thread with much glee over the past few months and I'm now ready to take ownership as a responsible alcohol drinker in the sense the RJ alluded to in her book My Way Out. Moderating was never clearly defined in the book, and helping people define their moderating goals is one thing I would like to help contribute to on this thread along with the rest of you who are doing such a great job with this. Like you all, I want to sit at the grown up table and not be ashamed of my behavior in the morning.

Right now I'm very comfortable with my alcohol consumption. I rarely have cravings, and if I do, I walk away, I do not want to be controlled by alcohol, because the whole point is for me to be in charge. I don't drink in anger, or from stress. I like the one and I'm done, or two and I'm through mottos and they work well for me. (I've always been a lightweight anyhow...my main problem has been an everyday drinker problem, not a drink to excess problem.)

Anyhow, enough about me, lets talk about you. What do you think of me? haha. OK, carry on.

[vlad]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Welcome Cyclefan! About me? Well if you've been reading the threads as you say you have then you'll know all about me I suppose, or maybe not.

I've abstained 3 times from AL for something like 50+ days, then 40 days and then last year with MWO for 30 days. After trying to deal with my every day vodka drinking problem alone, just couldn't get that obsession about AL out of my head until I came here. Found the site by accident really because I was having one of my obsessing moments. Guess I just needed to vent and share all those strange little quirks an alcoholic has, like drinking dreams and obsessing about alcoholic rubbish in the gutter (I still do that though - caught myself only this morning eyeing up a battered, empty plastic lucozade bottle trying to see if it was an empty bottle of vodka). Once a colleague caught me looking at vodka on the internet. I used to work for a web design agency, if we were doing a website for a hotel and the client had sent photos - sometimes there was a picture of the bar - I would look at it closely to see what liquor they had. Honestly! OK, so now you think I'm crazy.

Anyway, things are going good for me at the moment, I am only drinking on occasion and when invited. How many drinks you ask. Well a max of 2 in one session mostly. I only say mostly because I had 4 on Saturday in the pub! But that is now a rare occurance.

Plus I generally try and get at least 4 days AF a week.

Going to Finland Saturday - should be interesting.

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Good Morning All!

Modders,
It is BITTERLY cold here in the midwest!!
I got up early to warm HHGs belly with some grits with cheese (her favorite) and wheat toast with honey.
Got the car warmed up so the teenage girls (who don't tend to overdress for school )wouldn't absolutely freeze.

Cat doesn't work today and is still in bed;
which is exactly where I intend to be in about 5 minutes!!

Lazydog even knows better.
NO indication of wanting to go out in this;
paws tucked under him curled up by the fireplace.

Oh this coffee is good...
but not good enough to keep me up!
See you all later!
(Welcome Cyclefan) :welcome:
Good Morning Vlad!
~Kid~

[DeeBee]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Oh my hat Zed, I am killing meself laughing here -- "my boy" is my dog, not my hubby!!!
He was castrated on Friday and his "you know what" was swollen to the size of a grapefruit so I had to take him back to the vet for another jab.
It's always quite an experience getting my 100kg brute into my teeny little car, we certainly turn heads as we drive lol.

Kid, I just LOVE your description of how your days go -- I hear a calmness in you that I definetly don't have.

Sun, it's great to hear from you. I can't believe how much rain we have had here, it's just ridiculous -- I confess that I haven't put my wellies on this week to venture into the garden.

Finland, hey Vladster. Are you ready and packed?? When do you get back??

CYCLEFAN, welcome!! It's great to have you on-board.
Oh dear, you want a bit about me.... well I was a box (cringe) wine drinker. I would buy a couple of 5lt's a week and every evening without fail I would make a dent in them whether I was on my own, with hubby or friends. Hubby was the one who eventually asked, begged me to find a solution to my problem and that's how I stumbled across MWO. After a particually nasty bender which left me raw and faithless I made my first post and I have never looked back. With the support of the special folk here I did 60 days AF and I have been sucessfully modding for 6 months now.

I am a firm believer in the supps and have found that they are great for any sort of craving, which is wonderful as I have just given up smoking (can you feel your screen shaking?? LOL).

Right I need to go and find that parenting thread so that I can vent about my F*(&%#@#%^ing teenager.......

[zed]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Greetings cyclefan. I love the way you write (and therefore think)!

I am zed. I'm not dead. Not as yet anyway. Speaking of which, I heard this great quote from Jack Nicholson, I believe: "We're all dead soon. Act accordingly."

So, that in a nutshell, is how I'm trying to live my life.

AL. The less said the better. But given that that's why we're all here, I should say something. I have been a frighteningly regular binge-drinker for a long, long time. Everything that could have happened with me drunk, has happened. Just about. And I'm not exaggerating. It's a dis-ease I live with, and will continue to live with until my last breath in this body. That's a fact.

I came to the end of a very very long rope at the start of November, after what seemed like my ten thousandth binge session (and it probably was - call it the peg that broke zed's back). Like Vlad, I too stumbled on this site by accident, one night, severely depressed and shocked into speechlessness by my behaviour, all alone, hungover, desperate to somehow, at last, begin to LIVE the way I THINK and FEEL about Life, and not to merely think and feel it... yet live another way.

I too have had a tough ride, but hasn't everyone? So that's no excuse, and there are people I know who suffer A LOT more than I do or ever can or will. But I should say that last year this time was a particularly harrowing moment in my life, and I almost broke. After another record binge session that lasted 8 months, I came out of it finally, like I said, at the start of November. Thankfully. Something made me reach out, and I did, and in a matter of seconds I received warm support and responses from a few kind strangers on this site, including one hilarious, kind and beautiful person who calls herself Deebee (watch out for her, she's bonkers!!), who guided me to this safe haven, this warm and cozy spot near the fire-place on a cold winter's night (I know how Lazydog feels), where we find ourselves now. And I soon met and was embraced in an unconditional manner, by a bunch of other equally lovely people here in the Mod Squad, each with her or his own fears, strengths, weaknesses, histories, ghosts, angels, fascinations, obsessions, nightmares, dreams, ideals, stories and motivations...most of whom are still around today, thankfully... And now, after what seems like a lot of sharing, it feels like we're old, ancient buddies and that's kind of the way we have learned to love and care for each other - in an uniquely wonderful way.

What I am after, and have been, for a long time also, is Well-Being. I am interested in constantly evolving, and trying to make myself a better, kinder, gentler, more compassionate, more happy person.

My aim is to make myself better in a holistic manner. What I mean by that is that I do feel, after having thought about it a bit, that everything's interconnected, that Life's actually one big web of connections and I can see the Unity and Oneness of Everything now, which is pretty damn cool I must day, so solving my problem with AL is not just about not drinking so much... it's to me about a lot more than that. Otherwise one problem can potentially lead to another. Simple example. I don't want to stop drinking or become a moderate drinker even, if that means that I turn into a mean bastard, who is irritable. I don't want to do so in a way that will make me eat unhealthy food to compensate (another random example). I want to do so in a way that compliments all the other parts of my life, and ultimately makes me a more Complete being on this earth, in this universe, in this dream, on this cycle... whatever or wherever you want to call it.

It's late, I'm rambling, I could go on and on, as the Squad knows... (zed's blushing).. so I'll stop here. But I hope we can talk more about ourselves, and I certainly look forward to hearing more about you, as you seem to be an Open person, and that's super, from my perspective. I tend to like people who are open, and who have open hearts.

So folks, I have not had the time as yet to catch up with the action while I was away... so I am unsure as I write this, about who has been here the last couple of weeks, and who hasn't etc. I hope that everyone (the gang) is well... I am thinking of each one of you... Lila, Peri (u around?), Vera, DB, Kid, DeltaMoon, Sara, Eve, Vlad, J-vo, the marvelous Sunbeam (you're welcome Sun for the Modder of the Year award. You deserved it. I did catch your post about that already )...KeepWalking, I see you're back and that's GREAT, so happy you are making it, and back with us.. GOSH I REALLY HOPE I HAVEN'T MISSED ANYONE who is a regular here... If I have, I apologize, and my excuse is that it is 3 in the morning, I can't sleep, I'm still slightly jet-lagged, and I am kind of stupid to top it all.

I will catch up this weekend, and then reply and get back in the thick of things (is there a thick of things here..?)

I also have to tell you guys one or two stories from my most recent journey to north-western Germany and the Rhineland. Drank some lovely wine. Moderately. Had a MAGICAL time (nothing to do with the wine)

Lots of love to everyone here.

Z

[Lila]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

hi all
Zed, great post. I like the holistic viewpoint. I feel like I am in this THING now, where intuition is strong, and 'chance' encounters are everywhere, eyes open, in a non-linear mindset. I love it when this happens. Tends to happen when I am dealing with trouble or insecurity.
I have been just reading lately, enjoying everyone's posts and all, not responding, been distracted....
it is a sunshiny day here, very nice!
Lila

[Sunbeam]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Hi all,
Cyclefan, welcome, and Happy Birthday!

Do you have any goals? I think goals early on are more important than rules for moderation. Just something to think about.

I have been with MWO for over a year, have achieved great success, and am trying to wean myself off of the wonderful support I feel when I come here. I'm a big girl now.

[Saint Jude]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Hi Mod Squad
I've been kinda MIA for a while... just popping in to say howdy.
So glad to see a Mod group alive & thriving here.
I'm still battling my demons on a daily basis... but nothing I can't live with.

Had a wonderful day driving down the coast. Picked somebody up that needed a ride, & turned them onto some of my favorite beaches along the way...That always seems to make it a bit more special, to share those hidden spots along the way...

Started a new job this week, I'm really enjoying. It's @ a nice restaurant, a couple of the guys I've worked w/before in diff places here in town, a few yrs back, so it's kinda like a reunion! Nice friendly mellow place, I'm enjoying it.

I was @ the emergency room last night after work w/a good friend of mine. I'm so glad she called me...
She just lost her Mom 1 month ago, her old man has not been supportive, she's been feeling alone & last night was very desperate, & suicidal.(I could tell when she stopped in to see me @ work, but I was a bit busy & she left while I was in the kitchen) She called a suicide hotline & they PUT HER ON HOLD!
She seems to be doing better today, but I'm still really worried about her. Her minister came to the hospital last night & this AM, as well, but he just left for Mex., this morn.

I don't mean to make this a bummer post, I'm just so worried about her.
Please say a prayer for my friend Jari Jo.
She's so much stronger than she gives herself credit for...

:l

[DeeBee]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

ZED I MISSED YOU!! Welcome Back little Bro.

[DeeBee]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

St J, it's great to *see* you again... don't be a stranger now, k!! I can't believe they put your friend on hold -- bunch of tossers. Jari Jo is very lucky to have you in her life - I'll be thinking of both of you.

[DeeBee]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

:anyonethere:

Yoooohoooo!! Where's everyone today?

[cyclefan]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Hi DeeBee, over here! I'm here!! How are you doing with the smokes? (Or should I not ask?)

Saint Jude I've seen you over on the subs board on occasion and it is nice to meet you. That thing about your friend sounds like a bad joke, putting her on hold? I do hope she gets the care she needs.

Sunbeam you bring up an interesting point about goals vs. rules. Thanks for giving me something to ponder as I stretch my wings here.

Vlad, safe travels. I hope you'll be updating your journal with travel stories when you return.

Lila, Zed, Kid thanks for the welcomes. I apologize if I missed saying hello to anybody, it's not intentional so don't be touchy.

I've taken today off work again! I've had few days off since 2004. Last year both my sons decided they wanted a chance to learn the family business so I have been bringing them along slowly but surely and little by little been trusting them more. One of my goals this year not related to drinking is to take more time off work and leave more of the day to day running of the business to them. Of course I cannot totally disengage just yet, my email runs all day long and my cell phone is never far from my side. My days off now consist of staying home or like yesterday, pampering myself at a day spa and browsing in the bookstore.

Last night I cooked a simple meal which didn't warrant anything special so went AF for my birthday. I didn't miss it. I was kind of hoping someone would gift me a bottle of 18 year Glenmorangie but THAT didn't happen. Hope everyone's weekend goes great.

[lenaleed]

Mod Sqaud's Weekly Thread for the Week of February 2, 2009

Morning all --

I've been getting my morning dose of mellow each day just by reading. Sets just the right tone. This thread has literally been a Godsend to me as I overhaul every facet of my life.

I've been stunned by the hostile posts and pm's flying around about the Sinclair Method. Those of us using it have been made to understand in no uncertain terms that we have no place on this site. We learned about the method and found each other on these boards and it certainly was not our intention to cause trouble.

I know I won't be able to resist dropping in here for a lurk.

God Bless & Love to all -- Lena