The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

[Lila]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

another AF night!!!

[Delta Moon]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

:goodjob: Yeah Lila! I am so proud of you!

[Lila]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

thanks Delta!

[cyclefan]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Hello to everyone who has missed me and those who have not! :H

I'm back from a week's vacation, part work and part business and there is too much to catch up with so I hope everyone is doing well. I had a very nice visit with my dad and step mom and I'm happy to say that even though we had alcohol every day, (as is their habit) I did not get drunk or out of control. They have cocktail hour every night (one drink) and a glass of wine with dinner. I was happy with that, although I know I cannot do that in my own life just yet on a regular basis. I had a long visit with my younger sister and hopefully she will be joining us here.

Cycling season is in full swing, April is the month of the spring classics in Europe so I'll be watching with great interest this year. I have a "fantasy" cycling team in competition with about 200 others but am not doing so well. The riders I chose last year are raking in the points, my riders this year have great potential. Just my luck!

I hope to get in on a few of the ongoing threads here as I get settled back into my daily routine. Have a great weekend!

[Sarasmiles]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Hey Everyone,

You guys sound good!

This is the fourth time I've sat down to type a post today. I keep getting interupted, but I'm also feeling chicken. Yesterday I posted all over the boards about how I was determined to be AF yesterday. I felt so clear and sure. Then in the late afternoon, my mood starting to shift. I was furious with my husband. I was stressed out that the rich moms who live in Mcmansions, with "media rooms" and three car garages were coming to our humble house last night, for, of all things, a Cub Scout meeting. I got so damned tense and angry and all I could think about was having a glass of wine. When I'm like that, it's as if an alter-ego takes over. I suddenly decide I'll drink, and then it's as if there's no way to talk myself out of it. Although, of course, I have talked myself out of it at other times.

Anyway, I had two glasses. Well, two of those little 6 oz. bottles, so I'm counting it as three on the Drink Traker. I know that's not a lot, but I still feel like failure, because I broke yet another promise to myself. And then I ate caramel corn!

Kid, I know you've warned me not to make plans for long stretches of abstinence. You were right, as usual! I still want to try and stick with it for a couple of weeks, but I always feel so shitty when I "slip", even if it's a small slip. It's the feeling of having to have a drink that I hate in myself.

Does anyone else drink because you get in such an awful, irritated, frustrated mood that you're desperate to change it??? I want to learn to live with these moods, or change them in other ways...But there are times when I simply can't figure out how.

I felt one coming on again this afternoon, so I've come here to check in. I really want to be able to come back tomorrow and say, "I stayed AF last night". I want my mood to lift, and it won't if I drink. But boy do I want the warm, happy feeling of a buzz.

[Lila]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Hey Sara
I really really really hate McMansions! Try not to fall into that stupid trap. They are also terrible for our planet. Think of all the resources they eat up.
We live in a small house and I LOVE it!!!
Lila

[Sarasmiles]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Thanks Lila, I love my house, too. I need to learn to feel that even when I see it through the eyes of people who have bigger, fancier houses.

I think I'm gonna make it tonight. I'm pounding diet tonic water, and I'm about to make tea.

[Eve11]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Sarasmiles;586556 wrote: ... how I was determined to be AF yesterday. I felt so clear and sure.

Hey Sara,
I can relate to thinking we'll be doing one thing and then life happens.

We went to a fun casino party last night. Blackjack for tickets and then tickets were placed in baskets to try to win prizes. Was a lot of fun. Shared before how there were only 2 free tickets so one would have to make a conscious effort to drink more by having to pay for the third. My downfall is always when that 3rd comes easily and unexpected and then it's hard for me to say no. So, what happened? After I'd been sipping slowly on the 2 for 3 hours of the night the host announced to our table that there were no tickets needed for more drinks. With another 2 hours to go it was just too easy to go for that third. If he hadn't offered the free one...I did have my plan in my head that I thought I'd be firm about...staying at 2!

Anyway, it was ok. I've given myself a cushion for a total of 3 at long drawn out events and am glad with the drinks being free that the "old me" didn't pop out and say "well, let's make that four!" NOT!! Yet, it's still a learning curve for me when I think I'm going to stick to two and then let unexpected things that occur make that third happen. Another example is a niece buying a third one time without me asking for it. Was too hard to say no at that time as well.

Tonight we have couples we haven't met from our church coming to a potlock at our house. So, we'll see how that goes. Going to pop my supps for sure!

Have a good week-end everyone!
Hugs,
Eve11

[Sarasmiles]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Thanks so much Lila, One2Many and Eve. Your posts were so thoughtful. I feel much better now, and I've made it through the part of the evening when I most want to drink. It's after 8:00 now, and movie night for the family. I can watch with them, stay awake and remember everything tomorrow. It's such a good feeling. I wish I could remember it better every time having a drink seems like the only way out of a mood! I'll be happy when I wake up tomorrow.

[lenaleed]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Hi Sara -- When my kids were little I lived in what used to be a country home that got surrounded by a McMansion development. Oh, my. Enough said. Later, we built our own beautiful, unique home in a development that was full of such homes and the McMansion mindset. Now I live in a loft in the market district every cool city has. In the past four years it took my kids some adjustment to their deflated material status as the result of the divorce. But they have come through swimmingly. Even when we had plenty, I warned them that was not important. One time at the therapist with my daughter, I prompted her to tell the therapist what I taught them to respond to comments about our family being "rich." She rolled her eyes, sighed, and responded, "Yeah, there's a lot of love in our family." She's back to believing that. So's her older brother. After a couple of years of heartbreak for me as they heaped their anger or kept their distance, buying into Dad's version that we "lost everything" because I took the family apart, they are back to being themselves. Rather than complain my space is "too small" (it's not 4,000 sq. ft.), they can't wait to show their friends my view and roof terrace. They are good activists. They love the arts and willingly go with me to an art exhibit or an indie movie or a touring dance company. They want to get a good education. They are rediscovering their faith and they pray with me. Recently, they prayed for me and more. They both stepped up during my illness in a way that was so loving and nurturing it was truly amazing. I had sort of arranged my home in a way that did not accommodate them living here (after so long an absence) but in recent weeks, even before I got sick, they seem to want to be here all the time. Some days it reminds me of a ski trip, arranging sleeping space and towels and meals in the condo. They are helping me rearrange my home to give them their own quarters. They truly are a product of the way they were raised, and it was truly a God thing to have them both be in such a good place when I needed them.

Sara, Kid, Eve, Deebee, Oney, all you parents out there who are dedicated to showing our children (little or grown) what matters: Let's just keep showing them. One of my favorite things about this thread is the solid parenting I see here and hope to emulate. Thanks, Lena

[jessie]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Wow, what an inspiring thread - obviously you to came through swimmingly.
Love
Jessie

[Sarasmiles]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Thank you Lenaleed, that was a beautiful, inspiring post. It sounds like you've been and continue to be a wonderful mom.

As a footnote, my nine year old son had a friend sleep over last night. We all (six of us, with the addition of an extra kid) watched "Cheaper By The Dozen", all comfy on the old couches in our family room. My husband made popcorn, and I had the seven year old, with his head on my lap, and the five year old cuddled up with Dad. It was really nice, and we didn't need a "media room" with surround sound and big screen TV. When we said goodnight to the "big kids", our nine year old comfortably and warmly said "I love you mom, I love you dad" and gave us hugs, in front of his 10 year old friend. So I went to bed sober, grateful, and proud of my little family and our cozy house.

Thanks again for all the responses.

I hope everyone has a great Sunday. The sun is shining in New England, and it's supposed to be a warm day. Hope there's warmth for all of you, everywhere, today.

Sara

[startingover]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Sara, that is lovely, thank you for sharing.

[Lila]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

Sara and Lena, both stories are so inspirational! Thank you.
Lena, I have been meaning to take my kids to a museum for awhile, you just reminded me. My kids and I 'downsized' as well, but honestly, we really love it!

[Lila]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for March 30th

hi Starts! Oney, lovely to see you here!