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Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

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    #16
    Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

    Kid,
    I am thrilled to have you joining me on the lesser alcohol end of the continuum. I kinda think alcohol is a little poisonous, has the potential for causing great damage. I have refrained from including you in my club, because you will be the one to decide this for yourself. But I do believe you are making a good, very healthy choice, both physically and emotionally. Perhaps more emotionally. Alcohol has already done too much damage in my life.

    Nancy,
    If you wanted to drink occasionally but not socially, when would that be? What would be the occasion? Maybe that could work for you, we are all so different, but I'm having a hard time seeing that picture.
    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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      #17
      Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

      Hey Sunbeam,

      What I mean is drinking occasionally and socially but not for special occasions, like weddings, where the booze is free-flowing!

      Like you might drink occasionally and with a meal and a set amount, like sharing a bottle of wine with a friend over a meal.

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        #18
        Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

        Hi Nancy,
        That does make sense to me, is pretty much what I do (duh)! I occasionally have wine with a couple of friends or my husband. I somehow thought you were occasionally going to have some wine alone. That drinking alone is a bad formula for me! I think people at public occasions do notice how much I drink, so in many ways I would prefer to be AF in those settings.
        My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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          #19
          Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

          Kid, thanks again for giving me a reason for thinking about this more. For me, the difference between occasional drinking and moderate drinking, as I perceive moderating is usually done, is that with occasional drinking, having a drink is not usually underconsideration. Most of the time it is off the table, I do not wake up each morning wondering if today I can have a drink or not, nor eagerly anticipating the next weekend so I can drink again. It is not any longer about the drink, it is about the planned occasion, which I do anticipate.
          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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            #20
            Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

            I Sooooo want to do this!

            It seems the best thing to do;
            cutting way back.
            I would be thrilled to be a successful Modder but how AMAZING
            if I could really cut back
            and be an OCCASIONAL DRINKER.
            I love these threads;
            there is so much to think about!
            Peace,
            Sprockets


            Kid Shelleen;586349 wrote: I'm going to wade into this subject and then edit it as I go along today.
            You can comment or not, but this isn't the finished product.

            Is there a difference between occasional drinking
            and "moderation"
            and do we care?

            The term "moderation" likely comes to us from Moderation Management,
            one of the earlier proponents of drinking moderately,
            as opposed to total abstinence;
            a belief that is gaining acceptance and popularity in addiction control circles.

            Moderation is defined by the individual.
            It can mean anything from damage control (harm minimizatioin)
            which is basically drinking less than the amount that usually gets you in trouble or is harming your body;
            to enjoying alcohol on a regular basis in "normal" quantities (again,subjective);
            to hardly ever drinking but leaving the door open to imbibe in certain situations.

            Lately, we've split into another group we are calling "occasional drinkers".
            It would seem that the term "occasional drinking" would also be defined by the individual
            and would therefore be redundant.
            It IS redundant;
            but one can see why the person who has a drink on birthdays, Christmas, and New Years
            would want to separate themselves from the person who has one glass of wine with every dinner,
            even though both are "moderating" their intake, yes?

            The goal of both groups (if there indeed ARE two groups) is to normalize our drinking.
            Ingesting a "normal" amount of alcohol is an achievable goal.
            We can emulate or copy
            the way a normal person drinks.
            What we ALL have to keep in mind, is that we will never actually BE normal.
            If you want to have alcohol in your life, you can;
            and you don't need to dwell on it any more than a diabetic has to keep an eye on his blood sugar;
            but we must always be vigilant.
            Even problem drinkers who choose to abstain must be vigilant,
            so don't worry about being overburdened with thought as a Modder.
            I have seen people who had previously abstained for 20 years

            come in by ambulance in a near alcoholic coma
            accompanied by a crying and confused spouse.
            A problem drinker will always have that potential whether moderating, abstaining or "drinking occasionally".
            Sorry, that's just the way it is.
            We will always have to be vigilant.
            So does it matter what we call ourselves? No...
            Call yourself whatever you want.

            I'm already drinking less than I did when I first started "Modding".
            Soon I will be drinking less than that.
            Will I then be a moderate drinker or an occasional drinker?
            That's splitting hairs.
            Maybe I'll start a third group called "normalizers"...
            Whatever you do; if you choose to keep and enjoy alcohol in your life;
            have a plan and be safe
            ...
            Cheers,
            ~Kid~
            Everyone has a right to love and be loved, and nobody on this earth has the right to tell anyone that their love for another human being is morally wrong.



            BARBRA STREISAND

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              #21
              Splitting hairs: Am I moderating, or do I just drink occasionally?

              Thanks Sprocket for bumping this thread. I replied to it quite a while back and am here again 5/09.

              For me although I've been drinking more moderately I've also continued to drink most week-end nights (Friday and Saturday) so this would not be occasional drinking. Occasional for me would be to get off of the Fri/Sat ritual and then occasionally or every once in a while I would have a drink on a night when I'm having a nice dinner out and don't work the next day.

              I'm just not there yet although I'm doing a lot better with moderating and have been keeping my drinks to just one or more no than two.

              Eve11
              "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

              ~Jack Welsh~:h

              God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

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