Mod Squad September Thread ;)

[cyclefan]

Mod Squad September Thread

Hi J-vo, sylmarin is milk thistle.

Another trick to addressing everyone: If you select "go advanced" under the window, it will show you the previous posts in that thread. If there are more than 10 responses you can click where it says and it will open the entire thread in a new tab or new window, depending on how you have your browser set up. Then you can toggle back and forth between your writings and the other responses to speak to everyone.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad September Thread

Hi Modders,
Well, i started craving a drink at about 3:00 today. I held out until 5, and then had 2. Two more when my husband came home at 7:30. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I lose my motivation and determination so easily. I don't know how to hang onto it any more.

My three boys are incredible. They are so smart, sweet, healthy, and full of energy! I'm absolutely crazy about them. But they fight a lot...Crazy, chaotic name-calling and even punching and pushing and kicking. I feel so overwhelmed by it. Believe it or not, helping parents cope and raise their kids well is my job, as a therapist!!! In my own home, it feels impossible. I feel like a failure tonight, after a long day of kids behaving poorly, and four drinks.

I am going to keep coming back here, in spite of my failures, because if I let go here, I'll feel unaccountable and alone.

Sorry for the pity party!!!

Sara

[cyclefan]

Mod Squad September Thread

Sara, honest one of my biggest keys to my off and on successes is coming here to MWO and reading, even when I don't post you never know whose post you read here will be your key or trigger to get you to where you want to be.

Keep on keeping on. xo Beth

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad September Thread

Thank you, Beth.
Tomorrow is another day, to try again.

[Mad Mummy]

Mod Squad September Thread

Morning everyone

Had wine last night after 3 AF days - feel yuk this morning and asking myself why do I do it??? But I suppose if I had that answer I wouldn't be here would I.

Sara I can totally relate to what you're saying about the kids, the difference is that they are yours - I work with families having problems and that's much easier than dealing with my darling daughter and son!!

A beautiful bright blue autumn sky here today.

Bx

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad September Thread

Hi all,
Well, I caved and had 2 glasses of wine last night, though I had planned for a longer stretch of AF time. Nothing awful, but just the end of my first (short) week back at my full-time job. So now I know I will be AF for the rest of this 4-day weekend. I guess the message is implanted somewhere in my brain: if I haven't had a drink in a week, I "can" have some wine. What takes more effort for me is two-week AF stretches, which I feel are important for me on a regular basis.

Sara, we will always be here for you to unload whatever thoughts you want to get out of your head and onto paper. I think it is healthy to get those thoughts down where you can look at them, and know what they are instead of having them floating around in your head.

Mummy, it has been a rainy summer here in the Northeast USA, but the weather now is perfect: sunny days and cool nights.

Beth, it is great to hear that something has clicked for you. I bet your exercise program helped make that happen.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad September Thread

Hi Everybody,
Sounds like the Mod Squad is modding pretty well. I posted last night after 4 drinks...It's a little sickening to read my own post and see the typos and sense the difference in attitude when I've written with a buzz.

I feel okay today, though, and I have a plan. I'm not going to do my usual sudden reversal and do an AF stretch in the throws of remorse over last night. I'm planning for this one. We'll be away this weekend, with family members who drink daily. I don't have the confidence to tackle the start of an AF period under those condidtions. But I will hold to a two glass of wine a night limit, and start preparing psychologically for going AF for 30 days starting on Monday the 7th. The kids go back to school on the 9th. My stress level will go down, and my need to be organized to manage their schedules, homework, teacher contact, all that stuff, will peak. I want to be clear headed, but I also know I'll struggle. I'd rather start that process when I have a little time to myself each day, to take long walks, listen to my cds, do my pilates...

I'm starting to hear that voice in the back of my head that says, "you should just quit...give up the modding dream and quit for good". I'm guessing most of you probably hear that voice sometimes, though I could be wrong. At the very least, I need to do 30 days. I know it. I'm scared, but excited. Of course I've done it before, but each time it feels like a new challenge.

Feel free to tell me if you think I'm full of it for putting off the start of my 30 days...Maybe I should be thinking "never again". It's wonderful to have a place to think all this through...Sara

[louise]

Mod Squad September Thread

Sounds like a good plan Sara. Trying to start AF on a holiday weekend around daily drinkers would be very hard. I'm sure it will be easier when the kids are back in school. Can you send them all to their rooms when they fight regardless of who started it? Then you can come on here and vent until you let them out again.
Yes, I often feel I should just give up and be AF. I ended up having 2 last night when my husband had one. Not a crisis, but I know I could have easily finished the bottle.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad September Thread

Thanks Louise,
I should send the kids to their rooms more often than I do! Two of them share a room, which makes it trickier, but I have thought of designating a couch or comfy chair as a "cool down" place for the boy who doesn't go to his room. Too often I get involved, trying to help them process their disagreements, and figure out what started it. I think I'm too much of a modern "touchy-feely" mom sometimes. I should probably just take a more traditional approach of "Enough fighting! Go to your rooms!" for my own sanity. All the processing doesn't seem to be helping much, anyway.

Congrats on stopping at two last night, and not polishing off the bottle. Was it hard? Did you feel dissatisfied and thirst for more? I usually do, for a bit. Then, if I switch to some non-alcoholic drink, the feeling passes. Sometimes it just takes slowing down and thinking, instead of compulsively pouring that next glass.

It has to be progress when modders are reporting "I had two glasses", even if it's not quite living up to our goals. Two is, as Sunbeam said "nothing awful", and as Louise said, "not a crisis". I think we're learning self-control, slowly and with effort...although I've slipped up and gone on to have four or five too often this summer. Onward we go.

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad September Thread

Sara,
Yes, waiting until the holiday has passed is a good plan, but what is the rest of your plan? What tools will you be using to be successfully AF for 30 days? DrinkTracker? Meds? Supplements? Exercise? Better eating? What will you do to relieve the stress when the kids get home from school? Perhaps you want to Google relaxation strategies: there are lots out there. I think you would greatly increase your chances of success if you posted during that time under Monthly Abstinence or join one of the AF threads that form each month under General Discussion , instead of or in addition to here. They would be sharing lots of ideas to meet your group goal, and it would be a good time to sort through the question you posted: should I abstain?

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad September Thread

Thank You Sunbeam,
Great advice!! I do plan on taking the supps recommended in MWO, and have started that already. Also, when the kids go back to school, I can hike in the woods with the dog after I drop them off, and before going to work. I used to take pilates classes, but that got too expensive, so now I use DVDs at home. I find that relaxing. I have the MWO cds, but I find them a little time consuming. But using relaxation exercises in times of stress might help...I think I'll need to work that into the late afternoon time when the kids are home. They're old enough now to let me escape to my own space for a few minutes, and it's just a matter of making myself do it. Keeping them out and busy helps, too. We'll ride bikes to and from school, and now you've got me thinking that we could ride straight to the playground instead of home.

I will spend some time on a 30 day, or abstinence thread. Good suggestion. But I want to keep checking in here, too, because I feel at home here.

I woke up a little depressed this morning, but it's a beaurtiful day, and my husband has all the boys working on a project in the garage, so I'm going to spend some time in my garden. We're leaving to visit family tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Sara

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad September Thread

Whew! I hoped my advice wasn't offensive. We would miss you here, as we do when you take breaks from MWO, the mods group is your home. But some people don't want to hear about the alcohol. OK, on withg your life!

I am grateful today that the weather finally improved in the Northeast USA, and it feels now like we did have summer.

[Muddle]

Mod Squad September Thread

After 15 days AF, I attempted to mod last night. My plan was to stop at 2, but instead stopped at 4 and poured the rest out this morning. But, I learned something. Not only do I need to have a plan, but I need to review it shortly before taking the first sip. I plan to do at least another 7 days AF before trying again. I'm going to write the plan on an index card to keep in my purse. I'm counting it as a success that I didn't finish the bottle, and I know what to do different next time.

[cyclefan]

Mod Squad September Thread

Hi Modders, I marched in a Labor Day parade this morning for the animal welfare group I volunteer with and I am beat! We had a huge thunderstorm last night so the air was very humid here this morning.

I am on plan with my modding right now. I will share a little tip of mine. I always like to plan how many drinks I will have on my drinking nights, I am comfortable with two. Also, I only drink at home because I am terrified to have a drink, then drive. Anyhow, I have a little stop sign on a chain that I put around the neck of the bottle after I have poured my second drink. That way, if I am tempted to have another, when I see the stop sign it is enough to make me pause and turn away. I don't have my willpower geared up to where it should be so this is a good tool for me.

I hope you all achieve your goals on this holiday weekend. xo Beth

[DancingGirl]

Mod Squad September Thread

cyclefan;709071 wrote:

Anyhow, I have a little stop sign on a chain that I put around the neck of the bottle after I have poured my second drink. That way, if I am tempted to have another, when I see the stop sign it is enough to make me pause and turn away. I don't have my willpower geared up to where it should be so this is a good tool for me.

That's a good one, Beth. One of my modding plans is always to have a plan about how to stop. It's all very well to say "I'll have two, then stop," but how will you stop? Sometimes I do the procrastination thing, more often I switch to eating or drinking something that doesn't enhance the wine. Going for an after dinner stroll helps a lot too.

I've actually started wondering if that's the cultural purpose of having dessert. Although on the other hand, then we invented liquors, brandies, and irish coffees to get around it!:H

Best to all,
Dancer