Mod Squad November 09
Hello Modders,
Ktab, glad to hear you're doing 30 days. It really does seem to me to be a good practice. It gives us time to get through the worst cravings, and move on to the joyful part of not drinking. I really think it helps to reinforce us.
The AA and abstinence versus moderation question is such a complex one. Bu it seems to me that it's very clear that there are some people who truly can't moderate. They are, in some sense, "powerless" over alcohol, once it's in their systems. I would guess that those of us who are most likely to be able to change our drinking behavior and continue drinking are those of us who had not crossed the line, (unclear as that line might be) into chronically out of control, excessive drinking. This is my humble opinion, as I see my own situation. I dare to think I can moderate, with effort, because: 1.) I never drank daily 2.) I only drank to excess occasionally (more often than I should have, but not regularly. Perhaps 4 or 5 times a year). When I drank to excess, it was for one night, and the thought of alcohol the next day and for many days after, made me ill. I worry about people who can get up the next day and drink again. 3) Excessive drinking for me meant 4-6 drinks, not "a bottle of vodka" or two big bottles of wine.
I guess I think of myself as having been a "problem drinker"... Someone with a bad habit of misusing alcohol...Drinking to relieve stress, or to "cheer up". I think I have made huge strides in coping with my moods without alcohol, and that makes me feel as though I'm turning the corner, and may be able to drink occasionally, without obsessing about it.
I don't mean to imply that I would ever say who can learn to moderate and who cannot. That's such a personal decision. And sometimes a person may be able to do it, but decide it's not worth the effort. I have a close friend who was religiously counting her drinks and keeping to her limits for a long time, and then decided she was sick of thinking about drinking. She's so much happier now that she's decided she just won't drink at all.
As for coming here, I just don't do it on days when it doesn't feel right, or when I'm not thinking about the issue and don't want to. But I know it helps me to have this "home base"...this safe haven of friends to share with, consult with, lean on and cheer on.
Deebee, so sorry about your roses! I know your garden means a lot to you. What a healthy thing it is to tend a garden; to clean and care for a house...both seem to me to be life-affirming. We are all worthy of self-nurturing, and our environments are part of that.
Okay, I'm going to church today. I went last week for the first time in years, and I loved it. Two of my three kids even said they'd like to come!
Love to all,
Sara
Hello Modders,
Ktab, glad to hear you're doing 30 days. It really does seem to me to be a good practice. It gives us time to get through the worst cravings, and move on to the joyful part of not drinking. I really think it helps to reinforce us.
The AA and abstinence versus moderation question is such a complex one. Bu it seems to me that it's very clear that there are some people who truly can't moderate. They are, in some sense, "powerless" over alcohol, once it's in their systems. I would guess that those of us who are most likely to be able to change our drinking behavior and continue drinking are those of us who had not crossed the line, (unclear as that line might be) into chronically out of control, excessive drinking. This is my humble opinion, as I see my own situation. I dare to think I can moderate, with effort, because: 1.) I never drank daily 2.) I only drank to excess occasionally (more often than I should have, but not regularly. Perhaps 4 or 5 times a year). When I drank to excess, it was for one night, and the thought of alcohol the next day and for many days after, made me ill. I worry about people who can get up the next day and drink again. 3) Excessive drinking for me meant 4-6 drinks, not "a bottle of vodka" or two big bottles of wine.
I guess I think of myself as having been a "problem drinker"... Someone with a bad habit of misusing alcohol...Drinking to relieve stress, or to "cheer up". I think I have made huge strides in coping with my moods without alcohol, and that makes me feel as though I'm turning the corner, and may be able to drink occasionally, without obsessing about it.
I don't mean to imply that I would ever say who can learn to moderate and who cannot. That's such a personal decision. And sometimes a person may be able to do it, but decide it's not worth the effort. I have a close friend who was religiously counting her drinks and keeping to her limits for a long time, and then decided she was sick of thinking about drinking. She's so much happier now that she's decided she just won't drink at all.
As for coming here, I just don't do it on days when it doesn't feel right, or when I'm not thinking about the issue and don't want to. But I know it helps me to have this "home base"...this safe haven of friends to share with, consult with, lean on and cheer on.
Deebee, so sorry about your roses! I know your garden means a lot to you. What a healthy thing it is to tend a garden; to clean and care for a house...both seem to me to be life-affirming. We are all worthy of self-nurturing, and our environments are part of that.
Okay, I'm going to church today. I went last week for the first time in years, and I loved it. Two of my three kids even said they'd like to come!
Love to all,
Sara
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