Mod Squad December 09

[mg72]

Mod Squad December 09

Bear73 and Lakgrl,
Welcome to mod tread. I agree with suggestions from eve11, akgirl and retuv that are posted above. My belief on being able to moderate AL is an individual situation. The best book I read on Al addiction is "Beyond the Influuence" by Katherine Ketcham and William Asbury. It helped me understand why AL is so individual and explains why it is a problem of different levels for all of us. My main conclusion from it was that AL is a drug, is addictive with some people having higher risk of addiction than others driven by genentics, alcoholism is a disease and is progressive the more and longer we drink.

My situation is I have been drinker for over forty years. My common week of Al was 12-15 drinks a week. That is too much for me because when I am at that level I have lower energy, mood swings, get depressed easier and do not hit my full potential of many things I do. I started using MWO in October and since dropped to under ten drinks a week taking usually three nights a week off. At the suggestion of mods I went 18 days AF that helped me cut down. I loved how I felt AF but gave in before my 30 days goal. The level I am now is fine for me but I still feel my best with no AL.

When I have taken tests to show AL rating for our habits I tested at a low level addiction drinking between 12-15 a week. If you test at higher level of addiction my asumption would be that you should stop all together. "Beyond the Influence" explains the reason I say that. If I seriously decided to stop all together I would have to develop local plan to surrond myself with others that have succeeded and probably get professional counciling. I do not believe in AA methods but I know other help is out there. I enjoy the non drinker thread and read it often. My personal conclusion is that if I stay under ten a week I am okay, if I go back to old habits I need to stop all together. I give up too many positive things in my life if I drink that much.

I hope this helps and I hope you stay involved in our thread.

[DancingGirl]

Mod Squad December 09

Hi all,

I don't know if anyone might remember me. I was posting a little and certainly reading very regularly back in September/ October. I just had two months so busy that I had no time to post, and eventually no energy to really moderate. However, I didn't fall off too much, and am ready to head back to where I was (7-10 drinks a week).

I haven't read through the thread yet, but hope all my old friends are here and okay.

Much love,
Dancer

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad December 09

DancingGirl,
Yes, I remember you a little. Glad you are back!

I just wanted to wish all of this group a happy holiday. Thank you so much for your friendship and support.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad December 09

Merry Christmas, Mod Squad!!

I've had a rough patch...Not drinking a lot, but feeling down and having issues with my husband. I posted earlier today on the Need Help ASAP thread, and it helped a lot. Now I'm finally turning in for the night this Christmas eve, and I'm thinking of all of you out there, all over the world, and wishing you well.

Take good care,
Sara

[Eve11]

Mod Squad December 09

Hey Gang,
Got over the cold with the sweating it out trick I shared.

Am feeling a little sad as I'm drifting away a bit after a good year and a half of posting pretty regularly.

I'm doing ok with the modding but still have the tendency at least once a month to really want to go over my limit. It always happens when I'm home alone and just feel like I want to escape and I say "just to heck with it".

I rely on it as my crutch for the great escape.

Have a wonderful husband but am constantly disappointed with many friends in my life who just aren't the friend to me that I am or would be (if given the chance) to them. Love facebook but hate how I see what party I wasn't invited or what luncheon the girls had that I was somehow excluded from.

With my history of an AL father who emotionally abused me, it's too easy for me (Miss Co-dependent) to always take it TOO personal and make it all about me. I know I shouldn't. I read books and remind myself of positive sayings...I work it and work it. But sometimes I just feel so friendless and I say to heck with it and drink to excess. As we've talked about triggers the last year and a half here I now realize that's one of my biggest. Just feeling friendless and alone at times...that space that hubby just can't fill. And when friends aren't there for me as I feel the need for...then I feel the need for drowning my sorrows with drinking.

I do want to say that I appreciate all of my cyber friends here. I wish we all could live in the same place and connect physically as I believe that's a great help and that is the nice thing about A.A. - to meet each other and really be there to support each other.

Happy Holidays to all of you. I will have a beautiful Christmas day with my family and wish you the same with you and yours.
Eve11

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Mod Squad December 09

Thanks Eve and a Merry Christmas to you and your family also. Just to say you will never lack for friends here and even though we may be spread across the four corners of the world, we are real people and we share so much of ourselves here.

[cyclefan]

Mod Squad December 09

Happy Christmas modders! I hope your day is merry and bright and that everyone is successful in meeting goals set. xo Beth

[Eve11]

Mod Squad December 09

KTAB;779801 wrote: ...even though we may be spread across the four corners of the world, we are real people and we share so much of ourselves here.

Amen to that~~ Thanks for the kind words and the great reminder!!
:l
Eve11

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad December 09

Hey Modders,
Eve, I sent you a PM...I agree with KTAB, and I too feel true friendship with my cyber buddies.

I think I was really thrown off when DeeBee stopped posting for a stretch, and then others started talking about not continuing here. As a somewhat insecure, sensitive and sometimes depressed creature, it was a weirdly painful time here for me. I know in my head that we will come and go, and drift in and out of connection. I don't "blame" anyone. I take time off, too, when I feel disconnected, or busy, or when I just don't wan to focus on drinking or not drinking for a while. But if we're friends, are we not accountable to each other, on some level? Are these friendships that can just be dropped without any discussion of why or what's going on? It's a strange thing about cyber friendships, I think. We can just back away and not be seen or contacted...Just ignore this world here for a time. That's kind of different from real life friendship, isn't it? I'm not judging it, I'm just looking at it. How reliable will we be for one another? For how long?

I also think our "modding" goal puts us in a funny place at MWO. There seem to be a lot more people who are working on staying AF. So our little group is a bit more vulnerable to loss of numbers. I for one want to be here. I'm not ready to just stop coming here. When I do for a time, I tend to regress in my progress. I feel more isolated and less dedicated to being healthy and well.

Here's hoping we'll keep up our friendships as the New Year begins.

Love to all,
Sara

[mg72]

Mod Squad December 09

I think this a tough time of year for long term modders. At least for me there are a lot of social gatherings with friends and family where AL is freely poured. It is hard for me to abstain when I am in that situation. I went over my ten drink limit the last two weeks(twelve and thirteen) and am determined to only drink two nights this week when we plan to gather with friends. We were going to stay home tonight but friends called that are in town from Florida and want to have dinner tonight. At least they are non drinkers so that makes it easier for me to abstain.

I understand the writings that relationships are hard to maintain either in person or cyber friends. It seems that I have to make the contact to do something with friends or it usually does not happen. It gets frustrating but once I make contact they say yes and it is a good time. I just have to keep making the contacts. A key to keep my emotions steady and stay in a calm and positive way is to mod Al or abstain.

I am glad I joined long term mods this year. I hope all mods have a Happy New Year and look forward to positive and good 2010.