Mod Squad March Thread

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad March Thread

Morning Gang,

I have a super early start to my day and just wanted to pop in and say hi. I'll have lots of time to post later.

Love
Dee

[startingover]

Mod Squad March Thread

Just saying hi and sending loads of hugs and strength to the mod squad :l:l:l

[Eve11]

Mod Squad March Thread

Hi gang,
I'm jumping in and haven't been able to read any of the postings on 4&5 of this thread due to lack of time so may not be addressing some crucial things.

I guess my title today needs to be : By choosing moderation am I a walking time bomb?

Ohh...negative I know...but that's why it is hard to post when we haven't met our goals and are disappointed in ourselves and is the reason I've been away from here Sunday and Monday because I had a disappointing Saturday night. As Sunbeam said on another thread"

It is such a mind game, and difficult to predict what your alcohol-loving brain will think next.

I think whenever I start to feel a little too confident with all of this, God serves me humble pie and I was eating a piece again Saturday night.

It was a big party we were invited to and I was feeling so happy about going to a party and not having to worry about getting out of control as the moderating has been going so well.

So, what happened I cannot tell you. It's the mind game as Sunbeam said. It was an amazing group of new people that were so interesting to talk to. And like a driver who is following the crowd and speeding because they all are - well, at this party it was the same. When I went for my third the judgment was out the window of why I should NOT be doing that because everyone else was. I know I had 4 and I have a low tolerance so I'm definitely drunk on 4. Because we're usually home so early my son (home alone) got worried when we weren't home by 11:00 so he called and told me I sounded drunk. Remember, that was one of the reasons I ran here for help - because I never wanted to be drunk in front of my kids again. So, it was a big disappointment for me and despite well meaning friends trying to make me feel better (hubby drove ofcourse so no-one was in jeopardy) it was still disappointing to not meet those mod goals.

One thing Sunbeam has taught me though is that honesty is the best policy here. So, I don't want to sound like I'm on my high horse and doing so well when I have my episodes of falling off as well!

I know it is the question my dear Sarasmiles kept asking herself and every modder keeps needing to do that...is it worth it? One day there may be one two many falls for me as well.

Hugs to you all.

I have no answers today for anyone regarding this modding stuff. Just the observation and experience that it's a lot of work and despite all of our good measures, still for me sometimes as well, not the easiest thing to do.

:l
Eve11

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad March Thread

eve11 - i'm sorry that you went past your limit saturday night. although, i don't think of it as anything more than a "normal" thing, i'm sure you feel differently.
life is full of mistakes. I think yours was a small one. mostly, i think that because i know you want to learn from it, and you are capable of controlling yourself.

People who drink, occassionally over indulge. I'm not trying to justify it, I'm just saying occassionally it happens.

now, if you don't EVER want that to happen again FOR CERTAIN 100% then, yep, you'd have to stop drinking altogether. However, I think you have proven, and continue to prove to yourself, that MOST of the time you have limited alcohol. I am sure that it will only continue to become more of a habit for you and the OCCASIONAL over indulgence, will trickle down to RARELY, if NEVER.

take from this what you want to. This is only my viewpoint, and I realize that this is not the most popular viewpoint on this website

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad March Thread

so, i was going to be AF tonight, but now I'm allowing 1.5.
i had a very stressful day, and actually, might be losing the job that i've been at for 15 years. so, am i tossing all of my hard work away? no. I will still do my af days but....

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad March Thread

Hi Everybody,
LGL, I'm sorry about your job. That is big-time stress.

Eve, just what is it with that stinking' drinkin' thinkin' that causes us to go overboard? Beats me! But that humble pie course does give us the self-control, I think, to keep working at this.

AskForHelp, I'm glad my words have been helpful here. I like you am in a helping profession, and I hang out here in part hoping that I will think of something helpful to say to my cyber friends. Often is it comfort, occasionally a something that can inspire. I wish it were easier for us to inspire each other. I guess we do, but there is so much we don't know.

Deebs, your life reminds me of a thread started by CS04 called Spouses who Drink. I don't know if you dug back for that if it might contain some helpful thoughts for you.

StartingOver, it is so nice when you pop in. We all appreciate your support.

CanadianGirl, when I read judgemental posts here from AF people, I do feel irritated, but as I responded to that poster, they are really underneath it all saying that moderation doesn't work in order to convince themselves that they can't moderate. I don't know the truth, but I need this kind of explanation in order to reduce my irritation.

The sun has just set on another lovely day. The snow pack is nearly gone. Tomorrow I have the lovely job of cleaning up a winter's accumulation of dog poop! I welcome all helping hands.

[Luvwins]

Mod Squad March Thread

Sun/ Deebs - I found the spouses who drink thread very useful and looked it up when you mentioned it . Here's the link.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ink-24637.html


Eve - thanks for being so honest in your posts.

Busy - off to an engagement. Hope all are doing well

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad March Thread

Hi Friends,

Eve, thank you for your honesty and I hope you are feeling better. I sure don't have the answers but I can only think that there has to be a lesson in what happened on Saturday night?

LetGo, I can only imaging the stress you must be feeling right now about your job. Please take good care of yourself and to stay vigilant during this trying time. Shout if you need to vent would like to chat:-)

Sun, I remember CS's thread very well, thanks Luv for the link.

Ask, I took my daughter shopping this afternoon and I must tell you that during all this drama it has been going on at home has brought the two of us closer together -- that is the one silver lining on this dark cloud.

MG, thanks:-)

Starts you are such a special friend, thanks for popping in!!

Well the last couple of days/weeks have been an emotional roller coaster but hubby and I met on neutral grounds today and had a chat. For the first time in weeks I feel positive that the communication channels are open and there is hope. We are a long way from resolving our issues, the biggest one being communication but at least he is trying. He called just now asking if I'd go away with him this weekend so that we'd have more time alone together to talk some more, which I agreed to -- it's a start:-)

Hope everyone is meeting their goals, i'm notching up another big fat 0 for tonight:-)

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad March Thread

Eve - like others have said, I think your sin is a very small one. I hear what you are saying about being drunk in front of your kids, and that's the thing that makes me cringe most when I think about my drinking. But being honest, and human, and striving for better is not *such* a bad lesson for them... At least I hope not...

Sunbeam;819516 wrote: Tomorrow I have the lovely job of cleaning up a winter's accumulation of dog poop! I welcome all helping hands.

Uh huh. He only poops on the deck when there's snow on it, and every spring it's a shock. Shovel, shovel, scrape, scrape.

DeeBee, have a nice and productive trip away this weekend with hubby. Here's hoping.

One small observation before I go - I've been having some internal battles over drinking with my stinkin thinkin side lately. I want to forgo the last glass of wine, my dark side has all kinds of reasons not to. Back and forth. Last night hubby, who is taking this moderation trip with me to be nice, skipped into the living room and asked if there was more wine. I said No, not technically, but he can have more if he wants. He shrugged, put his glass down, said No, that's okay, and skipped out of the room again. I don't think he's ever argued with himself over having a drink or not. EVER! I want some of that. *sigh*

[mg72]

Mod Squad March Thread

Good morning LT Mods,
The last few days have been wild busy and next few will be the same.

Eve, Sorry to hear about your bad night. If that happens to me my own actions would be to get back on mods goal or get serious about going AF.

DeeBee, That is good news about strait talk with your husband, good luck.

As far as my mod goals go I am changing directions a little bit. My decision was to go four days a week AF free and stay under 12 a week. I have been doing that but I found that having three or sometimes four in one night is not good for me. I am now shooting to never go over two drinks at one time and still have three or four nights AF each week. I do not have any negative effects like sluggishness, moodiness or being uncommunicative with two drinks.

I have to run and hello to all LT Mods.

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad March Thread

Morning Modders!!

Todays Friday, YAY!!!

Wow, what a week it's been. BUT (in very big capital letters) for the first time this year I've met my mod goals now that has blown me away. In the midst of the biggest crisis in my marriage how on earth is it that I've managed that?!! I think it's a combination of my suppliments, the Topa, yoga, my awesome support system which includes you guys that has allowed me to get through his rocky period calmly.
I'm having a little chuckle to myself because a couple of years ago if I was in this same position my world would have fallen apart and it would have been a reason to drink. For me the message is clear. Alcohol does not help me relieve my stress, it just exagerates (sp?) it!!

I had a dream of Zed last night. I can't remember what it was about but I felt his presence -- I wonder what the meaning of that is. For those of you that don't know Zed, he used to be a member here and often inspired me spiritually. He is living the mod life happily with his girlfriend in the East.

MG, i applaud your change in direction with your mod goals. Have you ever had a look at the Moderation Management website? There is a lot of really useful information there, although difficult to navigate. One thing which I took on board was not to drink two nights in a row.

Well, I am preparing for our trip away -- I am looking forward to DH and I spending QT together without any distractions. We plan on spending most of our time on the beach:-)

Have a beautiful weekend Modsville:-)
Love
Dee

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad March Thread

hi modders
deebee- i hope you and your hubby have a productive weekend together.

mg - i admire you being so aware of the differences it makes with 2 or 3 drinks and taking action to adjust the goals for yourself. i struggle with that observation.

i am still on edge about my job, but have heard from a couple of people that th company is likely ok for now. so, we'll see. although I'd love to not HAVE to work and spend my time on my jewelry business it's not a possibility yet. if y'all want to check out my necklaces, go to Hang On Sister! Hand Made Jewelry I'm also starting a line of silver jewelry which will hit the website this weekend.

anyway, i had a tough week. didn't drink as much as i would have back 6 months ago, but didn't have as many AF days as I should have.
good thing is, i don't feel like "it's back to square one", it's just onward....

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad March Thread

Hi all . .

Deebs I'm so glad to hear events have taken a turn for the better. My thoughts are with you.
MG: thanks for your thoughtful posts. I agree 2/night is a good number for me too.

LetGo: here's hoping your job situation resolves in your favor.

Hi to Sun Eve Sara and everybody else!


It's been a long week with daughter back from France. . .I've been working long hours and also out each night "hunting and gathering" materials for a basement bath we're installing before our French exchange student comes in April. Tile, cabinets, toilet, faucets . .. I love all this stuff, but it's a lot of decisions! I fall into bed exhausted each night.

Mostly modding @ 2/nite but went over my limit last night so feel crappy today and will be AF tonight. Really looking forward to a catch up day. Have work paperwork, taxes and end of year health benefits stuff to do (plus a nap to make up for having to go look for my daughter @ 1:30 because she lost her key and couldn't get into the house so decided to sleep elsewhere !?!)

Have beem amusing myself this week with doing comedy bits (in my brain and to my cat) about how my RAM (random access memory) is jammed due to my age and being overwhelmed. It's the only venue to vent in which I can say F**K as often as I feel I need to. But I am pretty funny too.

Next weeks goal is 3 AF nights. Following week is 4. Keep on keeping on.

Ask

[Maia]

Mod Squad March Thread

Hi EVeryone,

Im back from my trip. I'd like to read all the posts from this last week but im kind of in a hurry now as the kids are about to wake up. I'll read them all tonight.

These were loong and event full 10 days. We went to Europe for my husband's business meeting and party and everything went well. then we traveled home for my brother's wedding. That was the "big event" I kept mentioning. the wedding came and I drank waaaaaaaaay too much. Everyone seemed to drink a lot too. Actually, next day everyone was laughing at all the weird "funny" things everyone did, no one made fun of me which I guess calmed me down a bit. I actually rememebr everything (which wouldnt have happened on a night like that two months ago), I had 6 drinks. I kept on counting them (I really dont know why as that didnt stop me). Im not proud. Im worry now. I have some parties to attend this month, including my husband's bithday party, and im just NOT looking forward to it. Im nervous and im scared. I also told my friend something that I shouldve never told her. Something very personal that I regret so much telling her about. I owe that to my weakness.

I was doing great (i thought) but being at a place where there was non stop supply ofAL just ruined it for me. Of course the atmosphere and everyone drinking didn't help either, some people that I know never drink (like my brother) were also drinking. Weird night. At my husband's work event I didnt drink in excess and I was very happy.

well, Im glad im back. I went 6 days AF after the wedding, then I had a glass of wine last night. Im going AF for a week to really think about my options (again). I guess I need to go back to evaluating how to improve myself. I already decided that I'm just not capeble of having a glass of wine at home, should I now realize that I need to be AF in long events where AL keeps flowing nonstop? Maybe, but I just think that's not normal. I'm dissapoitnted and sad, but I'll give me another chance. Or anyone here thinks I shouldn't have that chance? I appreciate honesty, no matter what the thoughts are!

Have a great weekend everyone, I'll catch up with you later and I hope everyone is doing great (i'll come back later to read how everyone is doing!!)

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad March Thread

Hi Everybody,
Maia, glad you are back. Sounds like you aren't where you would like to be but improving. Always look for a lesson to be learned when a situation doesn't go as well as hoped: what will you do differently next time? That realization that you can't have "just a glass" at home is definitely true for me, and some other here.

Ask, I am also working on a home remodeling project, our first floor (full) bath. I plan to include a (deep) soaking tub, and a glass vessel sink. The estimate came back Saturday, and I will meet with them this week to discuss product choices.
So are you planning a U-Tube video for your comedy routine????

LetGo, your jewelry is lovely, the bottle caps are cute and unique. You too I'm sure will just keep working at improving your control over alcohol. As long as there is improvement, I believe you will continue to be successful in working toward where you want to be. Never give up.

Deebs, I hope your weekend with hubby was productive. Excess drinking can be very environment-driven, so it is good you know how well you can do with changing your environment.

CanadianGirl, the doggie doo is done. The snowpack is GONE, and ther ground very soggy after heavy rain (not snow) this weekend. I cut off the old foliage on my hellebores today, one of the first gardening projects of the season. I also started some seeds indoors this weekend.

MG72, I agree with you that stopping at 1 or 2 is always best. I feel sluggish the next day after three, and even worse after 4.

OK, I'm off to a few more chores before bed.