anyone else doing AF period before mod?

[artsyfartsy]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Hi!

I'm new to the board as well and just wanted to add that I'm doing an af period before modding (on day 11 today). I feel pretty darn good so far and haven't picked a specific "start" date to try modding. What I am doing right now is coming up with a plan that is in line with what I think I can manage so when I do start again I'm prepared.

:goodjob: to those that are doing an af period (or sustained abstinence) and also to those that are modding successfully!

[BELIEVE]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Going af before modding worked for me. I never planned on modding though, my plan was to quit completely. After 6 months or so af though I had replaced all the routines that at one time had involved drinking with routines that don't. Now its really not a big deal to switch between being af and drinking because I'm comfortable and familiar with life in either situation. big difference though is af I can stay in shape, I never have hangovers, and I can actually make productive use of my time, so this is my preferred mode and I'm af most of the year. Whenever vacations or major holidays come around though I drink as much and as often as I want. If I want to stay drunk for 2 weeks straight I'll do it, stopping again is never a problem because I spend the bulk of my time af and thats really my point: if you can't get through an extended af period and get to a point where you don't care if you EVER have another drink, I think you're making things harder on yourself than they need to be. if you want al to be in your life you're gonna have to let him know who's in charge first.

[Eve11]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Hi Frances,
How funny! I could have written your exact same post up above!! For some reason, once a bottle is open in the house I have this compulsion to empty it. It's stupid I know and if they sold 1/2 bottles more easily I wouldn't have such a problem as once the bottle was done, I'd feel satisfied. There's no rhyme or reason for it but I struggle with the exact same thing! I also bought the little individual servings as you stated and drank the whole 4 pack too! Sigh, sigh and BIG sigh.

So, I am looking at Nov 1st as being a new month and am serious about being hypervigilant now about this modding thing as I don't like the binge crash and burns that I have continued to do since coming here.

Will post more on Ruby Tuesday so join me there where we post weekly goals and have weekly discussions when people come and post.
Hugs,
Eve11

[Soulsearcher]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

So glad I popped over here to take a peek at modding. I've been on the "Just starting Out" thread and I went 31 days AF. My initial goal was to stay AF till I got my emotional wounds under control and then try modified drinking. My situation was that when over-drinking all my insecurities came to surface and caused major damage in my relationship with my fiance.
I do believe that 1 or 2 glasses is still something I can handle well, it's the 3 or 4 when something inside me is unsettled that will turn into an emotionally eruptive evening. I have had wonderful people that are AF giving me incredible advice and insight. It seems that most don't suggest trying modified drinking but I would like to spend some time over here seeing how it is working for others. So please keep this going and share your stories...:new:

[Eve11]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

:lHi Soulsearcher,
Welcome to the mod squad.

After modding for a couple of years, I have come to the same conclusion. 1 or 2 glasses are fine and those times I have them (when out to dinner, etc.) I find I've had a nice, relaxing evening and have enjoyed the taste of a fine wine. It's when I have the third and more where I have hangovers, get too slurry or emotional and just generally make a fool of myself.

I have made a commitment to post on the Ruby Tuesday thread weekly to assess my week and also to post on the drinktracker daily to help me be more accountable to not overindulge. Think about joining me as the support helps one stay on track.

:l
Eve11

[Ringing Cedars]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Hi All...just wanted to say that your posts all resonate with me and think I will hang around a bit. It will make me more accountable and hope I can be of support. I'll be away for the next week and it will be af. I do come home to a big birthday celebration though. Stopping the over-indulgence that still happens is my goal. Doing some re-thinking is always good. Thanks for this thread.

[Peacefull]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Hi everyone,

I am closing in on my goal of 90 days AF...Initially I thought I wanted to quit forever, but in reality I want to try modding again but this time with MWO.

A little of my history, I did go 5 years AF before and tried modding, unfortunately life threw me many curve balls that I escaped to AL and started the old binge spiral. I had my last embarrassing drunken episode August 28th of this year and it scared the crap out of me. I can go days without drinking but every once in awhile a binge would happen, thinking "wow, this is nice not to feel my emotional pain for awhile" I know that is the wrong reason to drink so have taken these past 3 months to deal.

I have gone through some major ups and downs these past months and dealing with it without AL has been painful but necessary to heal properly. I am confident that I am ready to moderate, I know I cannot drink wine as much as I love it, it sends me on a binge. I moderated quite well before only drinking light beer, once I introduced wine back into my life that was it. I also didn't have the support of this site and the knowledge of what it is to really moderate, so here's hoping that I am strong enough to keep to my goals. If I fall down that slippery slope once, that's it I will be AF forever.

Didn't intend to ramble, thanks for listening....

[Gidget]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Comfort in AF time

Hi Frances : )
This has been a good thread. There is just one reoccurring thing that frustrates me reading through the replies. I am aware that everyone has a different drinking past and reasons for drinking but I do not believe that in most cases ( not all ) simply putting a little bit of AF time up your sleeve is going to fix the binge problem.
If you do the same thing you have always done, you will get the same results. I dont believe that it's a level of maturity or a lack of 'issues' ( there will always be something ) that enables one to be a responsible drinker.
I have managed years of sobriety before and have this time around even become comfortable and realtively happy with the idea of not drinking again, YET , in the past when I have thought myself ready to try again it has not quite gone to plan! I had changed nothing!
I think that you need to work on the way you relate to alcohol through a method like NLP ( neuro linguistic programming ), redirect your neural pathways to a new way of thinking, perhaps it is a bit of self brainwashing! Your brain has trained itself ovet the years to naturally go down one path when you pick up a drink, this is certainly hard wired and needs some major redirection.
I guess it frustrated me because I have been there too many times, thinking that I have cracked it, having been sober for a long time, socialising sober, and having these thoughts that surely I am more grown up, mature and could control it now.
I guess I just fear for others who have to go through that as well. It's painful.
Anyway, sorry for negative response, I am 6 months sober ( this time round ) and Ihad kind of come to terms with a life of sobriety, it actually does sit quite well with me now. Except! I came across an article for NLP and it being a cure for binge drinkers and well, I guess that's all the encouragement I needed!
I have been listening to the NLP and hypnosis cd's everyday for a month and have an appointment with the NLP trainer in a week, so fingers, toes crossed that I have not been fooling myself...God what a negative post! Sorry.
I wish you the best and hope that alcohol brings you no more pain.
SJ :h
xxxxxx

[Gidget]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Basically what I had meant to say was that I think you need to find yourself comfortable in Sobriety before trying to Mod, try to remove the obsession and the way you relate to alcohol. If you are AF and find yourself constantly thinking of alcohol, you are not yet in control. I rarely think of drinking now days, it took me alot of hard work to get to that point though. I had to push through my comfort zones in order to change. I may not be able to mod even with these changes, time will tell. Best Wishes. x

[Gidget]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Ooops me again, just wanted to say that when I say ' you' I generally am referring to myself and I dont mean YOU should, am not great at articulating myself xx

[Judestir]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Thanks Gidget, you do make a lot of sense! How we think about Al has to change or our habits will not, even if we are AF for a month or three months...I believe there has to be a shift in thinking. Hmmm more to think about. Thanks again!

[clare]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Hello all, its been a while since i have been on,so busy, housework,job,etc etc.
But i am doing pretty good, had a few drinks over the christmas holidays,once i went beyond my own limits,other wise i am keeping it in check,had 2 drinks last night & none all week,hope to keep it going like this,be good you all hear going to check out a few of my favorite threads,that helped me along my way.

[Eve11]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Gidget,
I'm going to research the NLP more but it certainly sounds like it makes sense to me. MWO has a good CD on moderating drinking that I purchased and I have to say I believe it's very good.

I've had the best success lately just being brutally honest on the drinktracker. In the past (shared this on a previous post) when I slipped I would just "forget" to track it. I am forcing myself to track and be honest with it and it's definitely helping me to think twice before I take that next drink which I shouldn't have.
:l
Eve11

[Gidget]

anyone else doing AF period before mod?

Hiya Eve, Jude and Clare,
I am going to my NLP appointment tomorrow ( a bit nervous! ).
I am mostly a bit anxious that I will not relax enough to be receptive to hypnotherapy and the NLP.
The session is quite costly but I am guessing that most of you are the same as me, in the sense that you would pay almost anything to just be a normal drinker.
After the session I am going out to a bar that I go to each Monday night with friends to play boardgames ( such fun ) and they all have a few drinks. I am though not going to test my newly hynotised headspace just yet. I am going to stick to the original plan of, waiting until 2 days into my holiday, once I am feeling more comfortable in my surrounding ( cos I do not want to drink to numb any anxiety or discomfort ) I will test the waters.........
Eve...the drink tracker will be my best friend on holiday...It certainly seems to be a big help to most on the site. Also, I must keep in mind to post my successes and avoid becoming complacent by posting my 'failures' in detail to learn where I may have gone wrong.
I am happy to be posting on this site more regularly this time round, you get back what you put in : )
Cheers
SJ