Mod Squad April Thread

[Maia]

Mod Squad April Thread

Where is everybody? Please don’t disappear! I need all of you to be able to do this 

There were some changes of plans this week that altered my goals so I am adjusting my goals now to them. My husband came back home yesterday because his flight to Europe got cancelled because everything that is going on in Iceland. He actually surprised me and came home with some good news business related, so we went out to celebrate. I had two glasses of wine. No remorse at all as it was an appropriate situation for it, but obviously I didn’t accomplish the no AL until Friday goal I had planed. I had already canceled our babysitter for Friday night as because I agreed with Eve and it was just not a good idea for me. So, now that my husband is home I told my high school friends to come over Friday afternoon, we can have some drinks here as we catch up and when they leave, I wont be alone! I will not have more than 3 drinks. That’s the limit for tomorrow. On Saturday we are planning to go to the beach for the day and maybe (not sure yet) I could have one drink. That would mean a total of 6 drinks this week which would not alter my original goal.

How is everyone doing? Canadiangirl, I read the post in which you mention that according to moderation management you are ok now! That’s great! butI don’t understand why you think you don’t belong here? Why is that?

Well, im tires and will watch a movie with my husband, up in the air, which I’ve been wanting to see for a while!

Good luck this weekend to all of you, and PLEASE stay in touch 

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad April Thread

We're here, Maia, we're here! :hallo:

I think you're showing a great deal of common sense about risky situations. To say "well, I have a problem with such and such" is just intelligent - plus, it doesn't define you or anything. You are tons more than that one thing. And you seem to be doing so well!!!! :wd: For myself, I don't stay home alone in the evenings anymore the occasional time that hubby is out (the nice weather is really helping with this). If I get home at 9 or so, I can happily make a cup of Nighty Night tea and wait for him. That's something I learned here!

What I said about not belonging didn't read right, I think. I DO love it here, and all the people. It's helped me so much. I guess it's maybe my mind playing tricks on me? I sometime wonder if I might look like the person in the group project who isn't doing as much as the others, but goes to all the meetings and shares in all the congratulations. I don't know if that makes sense? It's most likely my anxiety, which I have to manage at least as much as my drinking. There's just a little voice that whispers "You're only succeeding because you're not doing it right". It's a nasty little voice. But the good news is that drinking so much less is making the voice much less strong! :thanks:

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hhhmmmm, apparently I'm not finished yet! Back to the idea of recognizing your limits - it's good practice. And it's being honest and self-aware. Likely, we will all face limiting factors in the future. Such as health issues. If we don't see them for what they are, and work within them, while pushing the boundaries in order to get the most out of life, then we risk worsening the situation. There's nothing sadder than a diabetic who doesn't watch what they eat, or a person with heart disease who stays in the high pressure job and won't exercise... Sermon done for the day! As you were...!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad April Thread

canadiangirl;841794 wrote: I sometime wonder if I might look like the person in the group project who isn't doing as much as the others, but goes to all the meetings and shares in all the congratulations.

Hi Maia - good job with not drinking home alone and I hope you have a succesful week-end. I know all the thinking can get bothersome but you are so right. That's why we're all here - at least we have recognized that we have problems and are doing something about it. I have to shake my head sometimes when I see some of my old friends on facebook who I know are alcoholics and they post how they can't wait till that next drink, etc. and they are clueless that they have drinking problems.

Thanks for clarifying CG as I was a little confused by your statement too. I think the hard part is this board was designed for newbie moderators (monthly moderation) and long term moderators (here) but since I've been here since 07 everyone seems to post on the long term board and sometimes not visit that monthly at all. So, if the monthly was up and running strong, perhaps the newbie moderators would feel more at home there as they all struggle initially to get to moderate levels.

Modding takes a lot of trial and tribulation and there have been times where the old time modders have struggled greatly but for the most part the ltmodders are down to what's considered moderate drinking by standards of those folks that make the standards. LOL!

The important thing is you are cutting back and having harm reduction as they call it so it's all good. Maybe posting your goal's on Ruby Tuesday thread would sound better to you to say "I will decrease my weekly intake by 2 drinks or 4 drinks, etc. rather than "I will only have 14 drinks this week" which truly isn't moderate drinking and that's why it doesn't feel right to you. But if you can keep coming here and getting the support you need, perhaps you can find that you can get yourself down to moderate levels and maintain that. You may want to seriously consider abstaining for 2 weeks or the recommended 30 days to decrease the tolerance you have built up and then you may find moderating easier.

Hope that helps. Please keep posting - love having you around.

:l
Eve11

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad April Thread

Eve - thanks for that. You are a very kind and very supportive person! :l

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi Everybody,
I feel guilty that I haven't been posting more, but I do read every day, and enjoy learning how everyone is doing.

CanadianGirl, I know I haven't responded about our date to see those gardens. I am trying to decide which three days I will be working when I start my new job this summer. I had been thinking Mon/Wed/Fri, but now it is seeming like there are more advantages to a Mon/Tues/Thurs schedule. I need to touch base with my new boss about that. I will do this soon, and I plan to bring you hellebores!

Maia, I just love how aware and responsible you are of your drinking, not willing to just blow off changes in plans that are a part of life. That's the big trick to drinking moderately: finding rules you can really life by, and knowing how/when to adjust them.

MG72, because I only drink occasionally, I feel I have found that new life that opens up after being dominated by alcohol. Before I joined here I felt trapped in a pit with alcohol. Now, I control how I use my time, I am not harming my health with alcohol, I have lost 10#, and I am entering a new chapter in my life.

Eve, thanks for your continued honest posting, judgement when needed. The whole "what is moderate drinking" conversation continues. Cutting back significantly is always good, and is often labeled moderate by many (in comparison), but there actually are published standards out there. I have no desire to include alcohol in my daily life. Because I avoid that daily drink or two, I feel less guilt if I should have three drinks on a weekend.

Take care, all

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi all:

Feel like I haven't had a second to myself for such a long time. I checked in last weekend and read this and Ruby Tuesday and felt comforted to know everyone else is trying so hard.

I have been superbusy at work, in meetings almost all day and feeling frantic at times about all the work I need to do. We've also had a wonderful French exchange student with us for 2 weeks but that has meant getting off work early to drop off and pick up. . . So it's been hectic and my "self care" has suffered. Out of all of this though I installed a new bathroom in our finished basement and it is WONDERFULLY beautiful and I'm very proud of how well the contractor and I worked to get it done in 3 short weeks. SO it's been zoo, and prospects are looking up for things to calm down in a few months but until then I need to get more exercise and moderate better. I've set my goals for this week and will try to check in sometime this week to say hi.

Sorry for the brevity . . . I miss all of you!


Ask

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad April Thread

Ask for Help,
I'm so happy to hear from you! I felt like you dropped off the face of the earth, glad to know you are just busy with real life.

[mg72]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi Ladies

I hope you had a good weekend. It has been cold and rainy here for April but weather looks better starting tomorrow.
I am now on day 40 AF and overall still very positive experience. I would like to comment of some of your responses to my last post:

Eve, I do not view going AF as a failure to moderate. I view it as a new life style with many positives and some negatives. As time goes on the positives have far outweighed negatives. It is not difficult for me to read LTMods efforts to moderate. I am focused on staying AF for at least 50 more days and enjoy reading how you are all doing.

Maia, I have come to see that AA is a process to help people get and stay AF. It is combination of reading, meetings, interactiion with others and self reflection. It was written and put in practice by recovered alcoholics. I had complete misconception of AA before I attended first meeting. It is a wonderful personal support group you can develop if you try.

Canadian Girl, it is good to see your improvement in decreasing your drinking and pursuing your mod goals, good luck.

Sunbeam, I am aware of how little AL you consume and you are in a great position to mod. I do not know where I will end up long term but for now AF is way I am going. To me you are now an occasional drinker who chooses when and how much to drink. I am not sure that is best for me and time will tell.
I hope everyone has a great week.

[Eve11]

Mod Squad April Thread

mg72;843512 wrote:

mg72

I'm glad to hear things are going well in the AF world. Hopefully anyone who decides that moderation isn't working looks at it as a positive step towards resolving their alcohol-related problems and not that they failed at moderation.

Eve, I do not view going AF as a failure to moderate. I view it as a new life style with many positives and some negatives. As time goes on the positives have far outweighed negatives.

Hi mg72,

I just wanted to clarify that the post I wrote wasn't directed specifically at you and I'm glad you don't feel that way - that you didn't fail at moderation. Some folks do however feel that way and struggle with the loss of drinking so it was more of a generalized statement for the many modders who realize modding doesn't work and choose the AF lifestyle. I hope you weren't offended as that's the trouble with online stuff - no tone, no inflection, no eye contact and one doesn't really know when they may say something and have it turn out to be a negative statement for someone else.

Anyway, I'm glad that things are going so well for you and I have to agree on many levels that the AF lifestyle can be a lot easier. I was sharing with a friend who recently went AF that sometimes I have that thought on Saturday night of "Oh no, now I have to wait until next Friday for a drink" and how crazy that thought that can be and how nice it would be nice to not have to think like that ever again. Going AF...you don't have to!

Take care and keep coming back. Always enjoy hearing from you.

:l

Eve11

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi everyone! So nice to hear from you all. Crazy busy here with huge, enormous gardening projects on the go. I'm sure the neighbours thought me nutty enough before, but now they are treated to the sight of middle-aged me pushing wheelbarrows full of dirt and divided-up perennials all over the place, covered in mud, leaves, sometimes snot, and occasionally a bit of blood! On Sunday I did it in the pouring rain. All in good fun... It's keeping me busy, tired, preoccupied, and out of trouble!

Sunbeam - ooooh, trade-sy's! I can reciprocate in rhizomes (I'm a bit of an iris buff). But don't go moving heaven and earth - your new job comes first.

Have a wonderful week, everyone.

[Eve11]

Mod Squad April Thread

The Ruby Tuesday accountability thread is making moderating easier for me. The thinking does cross my mind here and there to just have a nice glass of wine at home. A friend posted on facebook last night that she was enjoying her glass of wine and the thought did occur to me that I'd like to relax and enjoy a glass of wine too.

But then reality struck.

My selective memory wasn't so selective any longer and I could distinctly remember that a glass of wine for me at home usually doesn't work as I seem to be fixated on going through the whole bottle when I start off with just one glass at home. So, I waited it out - the urge passed as it always does and it felt so good to put a big 0 on drinktracker and to keep to my AF during the week which is usually the case for me unless I'm invited out to something.

OCCASIONAL is a good word to remember.

:l
Eve11

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi all; Just checking in to say I'm doing well this week, although Eve I agree with your comment that the appeal of 1 glass of wine at home has to be offset with the reality.

I completed two days AF without a problem and then joined friends for dinner last night where I had 1 glass a wine - t(here was a bottle shared by 6) . So since by limit is 2 I decided to allow myself one glass at home as well. Turned into 2, which is not horrible, but c'mon when did I ever have one glass at home? So I need to stop being silly about this and keep to the "only when out with friends" for now.

Back to AF tonight. I'm considering Bac as I had to go off the Topa because of the "fuzzy thinking". Topa really works for me, so I feel encouraged about trying something else.

Hope everyone is well.
G

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad April Thread

hi all
i've been lurking and keeping up with all of you but have been too busy to post.
plus i don't really have anything to add right now

i'm doing ok with my modding. 2 af days a week and always keeping it to 1.5 - 2 drinks during the week and 3 tops on the weekend.
i actually went AF on a friday night last week - woohoo! LOL

at some point i am going to try to shoot for more AF days a week, and actually do 2 in a row(my overactive anxiety has me scared of that again)but i don't know when i'm gonna do that. right now, 2 AF days is hard enough. ugh.

so, just checking in. our festival was a nightmare on saturday because it was basically tornado weather, but sunday was beautiful and we had a great day that day.

xoxo

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad April Thread

in the midst of my 2nd night AF in a row afterall !!! YAY me. LOL