Mod Squad April Thread

[Maia]

Mod Squad April Thread

Sunbeam and Eve,

Thank you for being so supportive. I was pretty happy about how I was feeling but didn’t want to send the wrong message. I enjoyed our Easter brunch a lot. We had amazing food, including two mimosas, and the kids loved it. There was a lot of activities for kids, so it was a very nice day.

These past days were unusually packed with events. It started on our donner Thursday until Sunday. So I had at least one drink for four days on a row. That wasn’t part of my plan for the month so I need to get back on track. I’ll be AF for a week. At least until Sunday. I have another bridal shower to attend this Sunday, so maybe I’ll have a mimosa or two, I haven’t decided on it yet. But for sure I don’t want to have any AL until then.

Hi Delta moon! It is nice to meet you, I hope we can have you around often!

MG, how are you? I love reading about your experience at AA. As I have mentioned before, it is not something im considering now, but I like to be informed, I don’t know what the future will be like for me, so you never know!

I hope everyone is doing great!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad April Thread

Delta,

:welcome: BACK!!!!

Always nice when the sheep return to the fold.

What's your mod plan Delta? You were doing so well before you quit posting.

Remember you can click on new member's names to read their postings and learn a little bit about them as they can for you.

So glad you're back!!!

:l
Eve11

[Delta Moon]

Mod Squad April Thread

Thank you, Eve. As always you are so wonderfully supportive.
Hell Maia nice to meet you too. Well done at the wedding!

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad April Thread

Welcome Back Delta!!
How are you?

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad April Thread

hi folks
maia you did great! It is so hard to go to those events and have restraint. good job.

i have not been meeting my goals lately. well, actually, i really didn't have any goals which i guess is the real problem. it is spring break here, so I've had several days off work and took my son to visit family, etc. so, i've had at least one drink 6 days in a row. haven't done that since january. so, i'll have an AF day today, then next week get back on track with more AF days in the week.

i told my husband a couple of weeks ago that I actually LIKE not having a drink sometimes. So, it's not like it's a punishment. It feels good. so, why is it such a challenge?

sun- my ocd comes in cycles, i tend too have flare ups so, i need a refresher. I am having an irrational fear about hot tubs and legionaires disease! (we're renting a house in may with a hot tub attached to the pool). mostly i worry about my child catching some disease. man. the things my mind will latch onto....
anyway, it's a vicious cycle because wine really helps lessen the anxiety over the fear, so, when i have a flare up, i tend to want to drink to reliever the anxiety. as we know, drinking everyday builds anxiety too. so, anyway, it makes the AF days more challenging.

so, it' funny, but i'm not afraid to disclose things here. probably disclose too much sometimes.
i guess y'all probably think I'm one weird chick.

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad April Thread

LetGo - I have severe, sometimes disabling anxiety. This is not to say that it's in any way like, or not like, your OCD. But I do worry excessively, have silly fears, and repetitive cycling thoughts. So, yeah, I'm one weird chick, too!

Maia - congrats on yourr successful wedding (you sound like such an upbeat, positive person, BTW). I have a funny feeling that my next wedding might by my son's. She's French-Canadian, and there will be wine all over the place. *sigh*

Sunbeam - I was at the garden centre yesterday, spying out the hellebores. Yikes, they are expensive!!! Oh well! Not as expensive as the daphne cneorum that I have a perfect place for. It's just money, right? As for the botanical gardens in August - I'm on holiday for the last week and a half, but totally available for the rest of the month. Do you think we can bring garden plants back and forth across the border? If we each had a little cooler, we could trade roots, corms, bulbs, snippets...

Anyway, I'm doing well. Two reliable AF days a week, working up to three, and no more than 3-4 drinks on any other day. I realize that this is a long way from the "moderation" zone, but I intended to do this very slowly and deliberately. So far so good. I have a real fear of "white knuckling" my days, and also of riding the roller coaster of several AF days, a horrible black out crash, rinse and repeat. As it is, the transition is going smoothly, and my various personality bits and pieces are falling into line with the idea. Thanks all for being here, couldn't do it without you! :thanks:

[canadiangirl]

Mod Squad April Thread

Oh, I forgot to say: my husband is Scottish, so when we have an AF day, I just tell him it's a Free Alcohol day, and he's perfectly content!

(Yeah, we're pretty nerdy, and easily amused! :nutso

[mg72]

Mod Squad April Thread

morning ladies

Hi LT Mods,
It is enjoyable reading your postings and catching up on your lives. A lot has happened to me since a wrote a week ago. My mother passed away on Monday of this week at 93 years old. She had a long, healthy life but went down hill since her 90th birthday. At the end she wanted to be gone and stopped eating. Family just left from out of town and I am ready for some down time.
I am now on day 23 AF. The last three nights were different and tough at times when others were drinking. In the past I would have been right with them and probably paid the price the next morning and day. I still progress in my readings from AA and attended one meeting this week. I see me going to two or three a week beginning next week. I will begin step four in twelve step process next week.
My early analysis of the process is this: I love the day time! I wake up every day feeling clear headed, energized and with emotions steady. Very different then when after I drank which was usually three drinks. I still don't sleep well at times but better then when I drank. Evenings are generally good but I still have triggers and urges to drink. I continue to go through evenings where I would have had drinks before but it seems to be getting easier not to drink. I have been told by people in AA program a long time that 30 days is most common length of time for this to lessen. I will stay in touch on my journey.
I hope all of you are good and enjoy your weekends.

[Maia]

Mod Squad April Thread

MG,

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it would feel to lose my mother as mine is still very young, although I don't think that is something you can learn to accept as they get older, I guess no matter how old they are the pain of losing a parent will never decrease. I'm sorry. I admire you for not letting such a difficult event interfere with your commitment to AA, especially knowing that you started less than a month ago

. My grandmother, who is almost 80 and was supposed to be healthy, was hospitalized wednesday and had to have an unexpected surgery yesterday, so it has been very stressful for my family and especially her 8 children (including my mom). She is doing much better now but we still have to wait for some medical results.

On a different note, I have been AF since sunday and feeling good about it. Canadiangirl, thank you for your comment, that was very encouraging

Good night and have a nice sunday,

[Eve11]

Mod Squad April Thread

mg72,
So sorry of the loss of your mother. My mother's birthday was yesterday. We lost her unexpectedly 2 years ago after complications from surgery. It's very difficult I know and my thoughts and prayers are with you as I'm sure everyone else's is.

Maia and Frances,
You girls rock! Thanks for setting your goals on Ruby Tuesday's thread. The plan will be to cut and paste those goals next week and discuss how we did. If we didn't meet them why not - try to figure out what happened, what trigger set us off etc. I'll also keep posting new material each week to help us.

Frances, You have really caught on to Sunbeam's idea and that may be the idea that saves every moderator. Special occasions!

Feel so good with no AL in my system yesterday. Slept well. Off to work.
Have a great day everyone!
:l
Eve11

[frances]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi everyone -

Eve11 - yes, thanks so much for pointing out that I caught on to Sunbeam's idea. That is exactly where I got it and I am pleased so far. :thanks: Sunbeam!

I just hope I can keep the willpower going. It's only been 1 weeksince my AF period, after all. I don't want to pat myself on the back too much just yet. I have a good feeling this time though - I'm thinking this stricter guideline will work better for me.

I will keep up on the weekly Ruby Tuesday thread. I love the idea of posting progress against goals. That's smart.

Good luck to all on sticking with the goals!

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi Everybody,
Frances, I am proud to have your company. You are wise to start out with an "occasional drinking" goal following your AF period. I still find myself having a couple of drinks most weekends, though the occasional concept is still my goal.

MG72, I am sorry to hear about your mom. I believe she had a fall/fracture not too long ago? Sadly, that is often the beginning of the end for many aging people.

CanadianGirl, it is illegal to transport plants across the border, but...

Eve, thanks for all your posts. I believe you are the glue currently holding this group together.

I'm doing OK, the weather has been great and I'm doing lots of digging.

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad April Thread

hi - sun - i agree, thanks to eve for keeping things rolling!

i on the other hand have been somewhat absent i am very busy with my jewelry because we are doing our first art festival in less than 2 weeks!

can girl - sooo sorry that you too have anxiety. i think that we are very similar.
i don't have the normal OCD type behavior, like hand washing and check check checking. i have basically the ocd that is excessive worry. like you said, sometiimes disabling. then i have to get reassurance over and over again. so instead of the turning off the stove, then going back to see if it's turned off, then checking it again, then one more time, etc.... my ocd is usually a health worry, then i seek reassurance, i'm ok briefly, then i worry again, seek reassurance, etc....

anyway. it sux. if all is going well, i usually don't worry. but, things pop up alot, so avoidance is not really the best answer.

anyway...

[someone_else]

Mod Squad April Thread

Hi Mod Squad,

Just wanted to say hi...

I want to be one of those "occasional" drinkers and do it successfully. I think I can. I'm supposed to be doing a 30...slipped yesterday but feel like I can do it - I have before. The trouble was not having a good plan when I tried to ease back into moderation.

Sorry you are struggling with OCD, letgo.

Take care, all

[someone_else]

Mod Squad April Thread

And, MG, I am sorry to hear about your mom.