Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

RC,
I know what you mean, how posting can be so time consuming and life DOES happen. Sometimes I get so busy with my part time job, school, two teens, and a very busy husband who thinks I am his personal secretary at times, that it is a luxury to come here. The sad part that I notice however, is modders never form the bonds that abstainsers do. Maybe it is because those going AF need more support and do post often to support each other. It is interesting to look at some of their threads where one can see they are truly friends. Sometimes the postings aren't even related to discussing abstaining but more personal with what is going on in their lives. It is nice for them to have that support and on-line friendship and I miss that when the mod site has sparse postings. The site here waxes and wanes. There have been times where there is a lot of activity and we have a close knit group but then most disappear and eventually we have a different group posting often...and then they disappear...and it goes on and on.

I truly believe I am stronger in my ability to moderate my drinking when there are others here actively working their mod program and sharing how they are doing. To say no to that third drink because Rebirth hopes I can, or you hope I can, or KC is rooting me on or Guitarista, or Gyco...etc. It helps. And when people kind of fade away and don't post often, it makes it hard for me to find the time to come here too. Gosh, as I read this, I hope it doesn't sound like I am chastising you for not posting often because that is not my intent. It only makes me a little sad we don't have as strong and a supportive group as the Afer's do because I do believe we need on-going support too.

:l
Eve11

[rebirth]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hey Eve,
Which thread should we post on more? The april one? Or ruby tuesday?

[j-vo]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi Rebirth,
I think this thread is for people to tell how their week was, state whether or not you met your goals...

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

J-Vo!!!
How are you doing? Give us a post on the April thread or tell us your goals here.

Rebirth,
Re your question, nothing is written in stone here but because continuity is nice, the monthly thread is designed for people to post on daily and to share whatever they want to...struggles, accomplishments, or anything personal they feel like sharing (keeping in mind that these posts are VERY public) and not even restricted to MWO members.

Ruby Tuesday was designed to be a weekly meeting thread. To post Monday or by Tuesday how our week went, what changes we made or should make, what new goals we have for the week, if the previous week went poorly, what we hope to change to have a better week.

Thanks for asking!
:l
Eve11

[chelsea]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi all.... Am new to this thread as have decided to try modding. Not really sure how this will pan out as have read so many negative posts towards modding but at the moment want to at least try and see if it works for me. Hope you are all having a good weekend!

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Chelsea,
Welcome.
When you feel comfortable, give us a little history on your drinking, how much, how often, etc. A lot of modders encourage an AF (alcohol free) period before moderating but one doesn't want to advise that to a severely chronic drinker who may go through life threatening withdrawals.

You will find a lot of support here. Look through a lot of the posts and note the date on the upper left as it will tell you the month and year it was written and posted.

We look forward to getting to know you.

:l

Eve11

[rebirth]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Well,
It was a very successfully weekend for me. I visited a very close friend of mine for the weekend and we had a brilliant time catching up on each other's lives. I paced my drinking and made sure that I never lost control of my drinking. We ended up talking till 3 am and I had only drank three glasses of wine in the space of eight hours.
Yee hah!!

The next day I woke up tired because of the late night bugt not hungover. Sunday I had an intense arguement with my boyfriend and I did not drink on it. I saw that as a trigger to get absolutely wasted but I had no intentions of falling into that trap.

How was everyone else's modding?

[j-vo]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Good for you, Rebirth. Sounds like great fun! I hope you and your BF have resolved your conflict.

On Wednesday, my niece, sister and I went out shopping and to a sushi dinner. We had two glasses of wine apiece. Drinking during the week is not normally something I allow myself, but I considered it a special occasion.

I had a successful weekend as well. On Friday night, we went out for a few drinks then to dinner. On Sat, my husband went to see his friend's band perform, and while my son was at a friend's house in our neighborhood, I watched a free comcast movie with Cary Grant. It was very relaxing. Nothing to drink that night.

I've decided to begin to use the drinktracker as a new tool.

[rebirth]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Well it's now monday and I am sad to say that my relationship with my BF is going from bad to worse. He has just walked out and I am not sure if he is coming back..

There is a bottle of rum in the cupboard and I did toy with the idea. I didnt crave it, just thought about it..but there is no way I want to wake up with a hangover and self loathing. So I will just feel sad and eat chocolate....

Whats the secret of a successful relationship cause I never seem to get it right.

[j-vo]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Rebirth,
Sorry to hear about your BF. Just hang in there. You've already made the right choice, not to pick up at the wrong time. That would be going against what we've learned. Relationships are never perfect. I think that's what helped me is realizing that. Concentrate on your exercise and doing all the things that make you physically well, then work on the emotional part. Is there anyone you can talk to? A therapist? Take care.

[rebirth]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

j-vo I passed the test. I am hangover free today. Yeehaw!!

[rebirth]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

YEEEEEEEHAAAWWWW. Now thats a miracle that i didnt drink last night. I feel empowered!

I deserve a cupcake today

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Rebirth,
Good for you to not run for the bottle to drown your sorrows as you would have really been hung over the next day, and more than likely very depressed. Relationships can be complicated. There was a time when I kept picking the wrong men because I guess I didn't feel I deserved better and my alcoholic and abusive father wasn't the best role model. I was attracted to womanizers and alcoholcs for a long time. I do believe in therapy (unlike some folks) and after intensive counseling I believed I deserved the best and the rest is history. Have been married (happily) for 20 plus years and have a cup in my library that says "Living well is the best revenge". My story...and I'm proud of it.

Back to our drinking tales for the week. Hubby and I went to a wine tasting with friends. Not a good place for someone trying to moderate to go as it's too tempting. We didnt' realize Jim and his wife were such big drinkers. Jim actually ordered a glass on the side while he imbibed in the carafe the 4 of us were sharing. I don't know if it was the tannins or sulfites in that particular red (I had 1 glass of red and 2 whites) but the next day I had the worst hangover feeling and so did my spouse. Hubby drinks 1-2 at the most and probably had 3 or 4 as Jim was drinking so much. Our whole day felt wasted, we weren't motivated, didn't work out, and I kind of just prayed for night to come so I could go to bed! We talked about how it is just not worth the price one pays when they drink too much.

I had a dream last night. I was very close to my grandparents as a child and I went to a house 3 doors down to offer to babysit for the child who lived there who was a Down Syndrome child. (This child never existed-it was just the dream). The lady who lived there had relatives over and everyone was visiting and being very social and having fun and no-one was drinking. I kept thinking in the dream how nice it was that everyone could be having such a nice time without drinking...and then I woke up.

Sometmes I am sad that our society has instilled in us how drinking is fun, makes social events better, and all of that. I think back to being a kid and I had a perfectly fine time not drinking...so how did I become programmed to think I needed it?

My goals this week and forever is to NEVER have a hangover again. My moderating has to stay to no more than two and I have to work harder at events and people I am with where it's too easy to overdo it. I was sharing with a MWO friend how we went to a party a month ago and the hostess offered us a drink before the party and then poured a hearty 2nd so she and I finished off a bottle of white and the guys did a bottle of red and that was before the party started! No more!!! Things like this have to change for me. To replay that event, I would have/should have said, "I'll just have something AF as I want to save my drinking for the party". And then no more than 2!!!

Hubby and I are kind of so turned off to drinking right now that I don't think I'll even be buying a bottle anytime soon. If we stay home on a Fri or Sat we usually share a bottle. Our plan is Arnold Palmers at home (tea and lemonade) and maybe a fine wine or two when out to dinner or a party - no more than two!

What are your plans?
:l
Eve11


f

[j-vo]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

We will always be fine-tuning our sessions with alcohol, which is a good thing. I've learned to journal, decide what went right, wrong, and look at this before planning for the next time. Planning is important. Thinking about the next day helps also.

[rebirth]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi Eve and j-vo

Eve- there was one time when I woke up with a slight hangover/headache from just two glasses of wine. I couldnt understand it but looking back, the measurements were larger than normal and the wine was cheap. Now I am more careful when someone pours me a glass . I no longer assume that people pour me a small measurement. Anyway, although my hangover was a mild one, it was enough to remind me that I never wish to suffer from one ever again!

I have wasted so many days in the past because of my heavy drinking. Lying on the sofa because I felt so ill. Not able to play with my son...I feel so ashamed when I look back on those days. I never want to be that person again. That is my goal every week..to never be this drunk person again. Ugh..

I also use to drink before I went out. Infact i did not feel comfortable if I hadnt had three drinks before I left. It was like the world was better if I was tyspy. I see that it was just my addiction talking! How scary!