December Mod Squad

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Dee - I started smoking again after 20 years!! then quit for 8 months then started again, quit for 2 months and am now smoking again. I think I might stop sooner than 1st Feb. I never make New years Resolutions so it will either be before or after that. Watch this space.....

[DeeBee]

December Mod Squad

oh my Sun! The crap we let ourselves do -- i.e. smoking.
Would love a partner to quit with, think about it:-)

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Sounds a very good idea to me Dee but I think I have to do it before Feb 1st = that is too far away. Are you going to use anything or were you just going cold turkey?

Hugs, Sun

[KevFromCanberra]

December Mod Squad

Hi Modders,
I have gone back and forth a bit trying to decide between going full on abstinence versus moderation. Been reading lots of books on alcohol over the past few weeks and feel like I have a pretty firm grip on my drinking plan moving forward. I am going to treat excessive drinking in the same way as I would treat excessive eating (which I have also suffered from). The way I see it, if you get fat and need to manage over-eating you dont give up food altogether, you learn to manage it.

I am going to aim at the following:

1. Abstinence most of the time. Ideally periods of abstinence up to 30 days without getting to hung up on it. e.g. If I aimed at 30 days and only got 20 days AF, then I would rejoice that I had 20 days AF, not beat myself up about the other days.
2. A maximum of 2 glasses of wine with a meal. (I tried this earlier in the week and it worked. Got a buzz from the drink and relaxed and enjoyed the meal. My wife got to share the wine with me, and she got a bit tipsy because usually she only gets one glass and I hog the rest of the bottle. The 3rd glass of wine is the danger zone for me because it can lead to the 4th glass which leads to the next bottle being opened, which leads to a late night, which leads to a struggle at work the next day).
3. If I am forced to socialise in a pub, bar, social gathering where everyone is drinking, I have the following options:
3A. Two normal drinks of full strength beer.
3B. Four low alcohol drinks (Hahn Light 2.6 %)
4. Max 3 drinking days in any week.
5. Only drink with a meal. No recreational drinking where the drink is the leisure activity.
6. Avoid social occasions where people are just sitting around talking and drinking alcohol. Try to spend more time doing, e.g. walking, cycling, cinema, travel and sightseeing.
7. Every time I plan to have a drink, I will ask myself, "Is drinking really necessary here? What am I hoping to achieve from drinking on this occasion?"


I think this plan is pretty achievable.

The Christmas period will be the big test, plus a VERY heavy drinking friend is arriving from England in a couple of weeks to follow the cricket. This is a former work colleague and ex drinking buddy of mine from my days working in London. This guy lives for drinking. Any email from him will describe him "getting bladdered", or watching cricket in the corporate box drinking gallons of free pi$$". I dont like to snub him alltogether, but a meeting with him would normally entail 5 or 6 pints of beer for starters in the first venue to "lubricate the tonsils" and then a pub crawl around the town until the small hours of the evening getting totally smashed. This guy equates heavy drinking with manhood and being an Aussie. I am still working on my strategy for dealing with that social event.

Cheers,
Kev

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Hi Kev - that sounds ideal - I envy you in that you can have periods of abstinence - which makes me think I shouldn't be modding! BUT I only ever have one or two drinks a night, SO DO I have a problem? I suppose I do if I can't have AF days. I am sorry - I wasn't meaning to - can't think of the word I need (Darn Topa) - never mind - I think I will just stop my post as I obviously can't think of what I am trying to say - sabotage is what comes to mind - BUT - to me, your plan seems okay! You have obviously been doing a lot of reading and thinking about this and want to control Al and not let it control you. I probably would worry about the friend that you have coming in and maybe someone else can give you more advice than I can.

Maybe post on the general discussion forum for advice? just a thought - that might be a difficult situation for you seeing as you are modding. All the best Kev.

Hugs, Sun xx

[FancyC]

December Mod Squad

Hi modders!

Just a quick shout out for a Merry Christmas! Hope you all have a great holiday season!

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Hey everybody! Hope that you all had a wonderful day yesterday - we had mimosa's with Christmas lunch - so I had the equivalent of a glass of bubbly, then around 7.00 thought I would have a Guinness as I would never sleep otherwise - but that was it - and I didn't really want the Guinness but was worried about not sleeping!! had to be up at 5.00 this morning for work. so I was pleased with that anyway. How about everyone else?

hugs, sun x

[KevFromCanberra]

December Mod Squad

Back from the dark side.

Hi Modders,
Well I have "successfully" manouvered my way through the festive season and out the other side. Still have New Years celebrations to come but that is not a big event on my calendar.

My mod plan did skid off the rails and needs to be fine-tuned, but at least it did not go off the rails while crossing a deep ravine, so nothing to beat myself up over.

My biggest failure was the day before XMAS. Planned to share a bottle of wine with my wife again, following success earlier in the week. Unfortunately she was not feeling the best and did not want a second glass. So that was my queue for party time. Had the rest of the bottle myself, and opened another one after she went to bed. Went to sleep in front of the computer sometime during the evening and woke up with a full glass and an empty bottle. (tipped the glass down the sink). So my planned max of 4 drinks was exceeded and felt like crap. Its amazing how little alcohol it takes to knock me out these days. In my younger days that amount of booze would have jsut been a warmup act.

I am now fine-tuning my plan and wine is OUT!!! I brought all my stash of wine in from my garage and have presented it to my wife to add to her cooking wine collection. I toyed with tipping it all down the sink, but decided that I am over it. Its all a bit of a trendy pose anway. Most of our wine here in Australia is just industrial strengh chemicals with fancy labels stuck onto it for the trendy wine-buff's benefit.

I am now going to aim at the following:

1. Abstinence most of the time. Ideally periods of abstinence up to 30 days without getting to hung up on it. Rejoice at every AF day, but not beat myself up over the occasional days I do drink.
2. If I am forced to socialise in a pub, bar, social gathering where everyone is drinking, I have the following options:
- A. Two normal drinks of full strength beer (approx 5%)
- B. Four low alcohol drinks (approx 2.5 %)
- C. Unlimited water or soft drinks.
- D. NO WINE OR SPIRITS.
3. Max 3 drinking days in any week. (This is a Maximum, not a target).
4. Avoid social occasions where people are just sitting around on their rear ends talking and drinking alcohol. Try to spend more time in social situations where people are doing actual stuff, e.g. walking, cycling, cinema, travel and sightseeing.
5. Every time I plan to have a drink, I will ask myself, "Is drinking really necessary here? What am I hoping to achieve from drinking on this occasion?"
6. Remind myself that passive activities like reading, listening to music, watching TV or videos should be pleasant and relaxing activities in their own right and should not need drinking to enhance them.

In all the above, I think the abstinence periods are key, as they send a message to my pleasure center that it is not in control. This may sometimes involve tipping any supplies that have ended up in my possession down the sink, and being quite anti-social as regards social committments which involve drinking. But this is probably the one area where discipline is needed to build the new healthy habits and has an immediate and tangible pay-back. Waking up the day after an AF day is so much better anyway.

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Good Morning Kev - I love the way you write! Anyway, I see your plan and keep thinking "I need a plan" but still haven't done one from the last time I saw your plan. I have a three day weekend coming up - and in retail that is a BIG thing. So, will try and get my rear in gear and make a plan for me. Your new plan sounds good - but then so did your old one, but if it didn't work for you, obviously it wasn't right. I haven't quite got the hang of the AF days yet. I did 8 months of it but haven't had one since. Good luck with it all.

Hugs, Sun xx

[KevFromCanberra]

December Mod Squad

Hi Sun,
Good luck with making a plan for yourself.

I have made many plans over the years and I think the key is to admit that it is a living entity, subject to refinement and tweaking. Just get the plan started and worry about making a perfect one later.

The number one thing though from my perspective is the AF days. Even just to do one, and then gradually make it one a week, then two a week etc. I think it must be possible for anyone to do one AF day. I am not talking about the AA "one day at a time" here, which is really a device to trick the person's drinking mind into life-long abstinence without stating it up front, and rarely works because deep down the sub-conscious knows its a trick. What I am finding works for me, is the gradual introduction of AF days, with the genuine intention that its not a trick to get lifelong abstinence. Now if it should end up at some stage in me becoming a non drinker that would be great, but by being honest with myself that this current plan is about moderation not quitting for good, I find I get more co-operation from all the warring factions of my body and mind.

I have found that its really important to get these AF days in so that the body (and mind) can get any trace of alcohol out of the system.

I get the feeling that when I am planning with any residue of alcohol in my system, its like trying to plan a battle while their are spies sitting in on the planning session.

Cheers,
Kev

[KundaliniGirl]

December Mod Squad

Just wanted to say hello and say that I too plan to moderate. My plan isn't as thorough as yours, Ken, but here it is.

I went AF for about 2 1/2 months and have now gone to drinking only on social occasions. My big goal is to NOT drink at home unless it's a special day - birthday, anniversary, if we're having people over. But, no drinking daily like I did before stopping for that 4 month period. And, I'll share a bottle of wine at dinner or have a few margaritas (2 to be exact).

If I find I can't stick with this plan and start daily drinking, I plan to go back to AF.

Sunshine, what is your goal?

[Sante]

December Mod Squad

Back online

Hi Everyone,

Haven't been on this site for quite a while. But now that Christmas is over (my least favorite time of the year) and new year's eve is upon us (generally a low key affair for me), I'm motivated to seriously try to make some changes in 2011. Namely, significantly reduce the amount I drink.

My goal is to limit myself to 3 drinks a day and to have at least one AF day a week. For me, this would be a huge change...and a huge improvement.

It's nice to be back. I look forward to the support and learning from your collective experiences.

Sante

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Hi Kundalinigirl - LOVE your avatar!! I could sit and stare at it for ages! Anyway - my goal, which of course, I still haven't actually sat down and planned out.......umm, I suppose basically I would like to be able to have an AF day - just to show me that I can!!!! But my habit is to come home and pour a Guinness! That is all I ever drink - I like to think of it as nutrition without the lumpy bits LOL. Seriously, I would like to be able to have ONE Guinness - which I often do, but then also often pour a second. Sometimes I will pour half of the 2nd away, so I feel I am getting there. I used to drink at least 4 a night if not 5 and sometimes would even have a 6th but that would make me feel yucky the next day - so I am happy with having one and now and then having that 2nd one. But I must try and get at least one if not 2 AF days in there a week too. SO, for someone who didn't know, I have managed to waffle on quite well! Thanks for asking!!


Your goal sounds as if you would like to drink like a normal person. I did stop for 8 months and was AF for that time, but would like to be able to have a Guinness sometimes - but it seems as if it is all the time or not at all.

Hugs, Sun

[sunshinedaisies]

December Mod Squad

Forgot to ask all you modders - when you have your AF day - do you have problems sleeping that night? That is my biggest worry about having an AF day? Although I suppose one or two drinks won't make that much difference, but I think it will make enough so am worried about not sleeping if I have an AF day......

hugs, Sun x

[KundaliniGirl]

December Mod Squad

Sunshine, I sleep much better without alcohol! Thanks - re the Avatar. I have fallen in love with Kundalini Yoga, so I was thrilled to find it!!

Also, I think for me it's really important to have many days where I don't drink. I got into trouble by drinking every day.