July Modders

[Lila]

July Modders

No drinking tonight, instead I read my book and watched a little tv, the evening flew by....
New day, hang in there!
Rebirth, I am thinking of getting a spinner cycle. What do you think? You know, with all that money I will save by not drinking. Sugar makes me feel awful - physically, mentally. Bleh!

[Bean]

July Modders

Hi Modders.

Welcome New! I hope you manage to get some AF days under your belt soon. It really helps. I think one of the problems of drinking very regularly is that you get used to constantly feeling crappy and think it's 'normal' and that somehow feeds into the feeling of despair at not being able to change/stop. Also that AL is a depressant. Having had a decent length of AF time, I can really feel how drinking affects my mood now. It definitely makes me feel more lonely and low and that can then be a trigger to do it all over again.

If you feel overwhelmed at the thought of quitting completely or even during the week, try as Rebirth suggested and just go for one day. Try and plan to do something that will keep you busy that evening or go somewhere where you can't drink. You may not start to feel better instantly but as soon as you do, that will be very motivating!

Sounds like you really need to break the habit you're in of daily drinking. Can you get your husband on board to support you? My ex didn't take it seriously enough when I said I wanted to stop and would try and entice me to drink. It's definitely not easy when you're around someone else who is drinking a lot too. Maybe you can set a goal together or plan something you want to do and put the money you would have spent on wine towards paying for that goal?

Read and post on here as often as you can - it helps to read about what worked for other people.

TMH: I am realizing that I have to be very clear about how often in a month and how much I will drink if this is going to work. It's so easy to think, screw it, it's only once a week or whatever and then have a binge. Part of my plan is not drinking to hangover causing levels anymore. I hate hangovers and I don't want another one!!

Bean

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Top of the day, Modders! Yest DH came home and said he was going to have an O'Doul's, did I want one? Sure, I'll join you. He said well, you can have wine if you want. Very easy to say O'Doul's is fine. 2 nights in a row hit the sofa as don't sleep well when AF so I read. Finished Easy Way to Stop Drinking; sure it's cuz I aim to mod but that book did not click with me. Started a fiction book club book and think taking my mind off all this helped some - OR maybe it was the Benadryl + 2 Advil. :lol3:

Bean & Rebirth: Both of you commented to New on breaking the habit of daily drinking and really that is exactly what life had been. That is just what we did at end of day. I too believe it was just a bad habit I had gotten into. Not that I haven't abused alcohol; I have. Arming myself with Diet Tonic, V8 & limes and O'Doul's has helped. Feel pretty good this a.m. and have a running date with several friends.

Lila - WTG :goodjob: Bet you feel pretty darn good today yourself!

TMH

[Lila]

July Modders

Thanks TMH! The book I just read, it really made the point that alcohol promises you something, relaxation, happiness, etc, but really doesn't do that at all. I wonder how similar the two books are?
Anyways today I am not going to drink either. I am a moderate (usually!) and daily drinker so I want to see how I feel when this all clears my system. Like you said, Bean. Maybe I am used to feeling a certain way.
One point the book makes is you have to explain why you turn down a drink. But nobody has to explain why they don't want a cigarette, or heroin, cocaine, etc. Why is that??
And if we don't drink, are we really deprived? Or is the drinker cuz they are numbed out?
New day, I could really see it being hard if your husband likes a drink. Can you work in another ritual? An evening walk? Of course here in the Midwest, it is a little too steamy!
TMH, I got limes and made fresh squeezed lemon and lime aid. Now that's a yummy drink! We deserve it!

[Lila]

July Modders

Ps, don't mean to go on and on about a book, just feeling good today!

[newdaynow]

July Modders

Rebirth, Bean, and Lila-- Thanks for the advice. I am definitely trying to go AF during the week, and so far have been able to manage at least one day a week, and continually try to work towards 4 days AF. So far this week I am 2 days AF. Having my husband out of town is a huge help. He will be gone the next 5 out of 6 days, so I am hoping to be AF all of those days.

Breaking habits is sooo hard, but I know I need to do it. He will eventually match what I do, and if does drink, it is only 2-3 glasses of wine. That is where I want to be, if I choose to drink with him.

So, I will keep trying. Thanks for the support.

[rebirth]

July Modders

Lila- I know what you mean about the sugar. When I overdose on it I feel bloated and sluggish. If I manage four days without eating any sugar and high carbohydrates I feel so energised! A spinner is a great idea! You love to cycle so it’s ideal for you. I would love to get one too but I don’t have any space in my house. Would love a rowing machine also. How long have you not been drinking now?

TMH- Another good book is Responsible Drinking by Frederick Rotgers. It helped me alot. You sound really fit by the way. Do you exercise regularly? Have you exercised all your life?

Bean- I hate hangovers too and I hope I never experience another one ever...I am done with them.

Newday – This is a section about breaking habits from the book Responsible Drinking:
...It’s not easy to change our beliefs and the habits that have evolved over many years. First we need that inkling. An inkling that all is not as it should be. That inkling needs to be walked around, stared at, thought about and it grows slowly, little by little. And works its way into “ I want to change” and transforms itself into “I can change” and moves onto “change”. For most of us “I want to change” doesn’t magically result in change. We have to work the steps, the baby steps everyone talks about...

[Lila]

July Modders

Rebirth - I want that book! Today is only day 2, but I feel different, I just do.
I can't fit a spinner in my house either, but I will make it fit, maybe in a corner somewhere. I would almost like to start juicing, but I wonder If that is more sugar, even if it is from fruits and vegetables.
When I strictly don't eat sugar I feel very energetic too. Alcohol is of course a very sugary!
Newday, 2 days is huge! I think. I guess right now I don't want to mod, I just want to get used to life without being anesthetized.
Let us know how you're doing each day.
Thank you all, by the way, for all the encouragement this past month or so. I came here so tired and depressed, and now am feeling more and more in control and strong, and it is so great to be in this encouraging non judging place.

[rebirth]

July Modders

Hey Lila- Well done! Day two is fantastic!! A juicer is a great idea and I dont think it's too much sugar. Maybe you ought to juice more vegetables than the fruit though. Did you exercise yesterday?
x

[Lila]

July Modders

A little bit. I am in the US Midwest, so it is dangerously hot - I was at the pool with my daughter last night, earlier in the day I biked to the library, which is just a few blocks and got woozy, it was soooo hot. I was looking for health books!
I feel so good, this is different, no cravings, nothing. I am just proud of myself -and excited to get sugar out of my system!
According to the book, after 3 days, alcohol is totally out of your body.
Thanks for the encouragment. I have a pair of skinny jeans that look really cute on, but after I lose a little weight!!! they should fit fine.
I have noticed I am eating ice cream a little bit (i got ice cream treats for the girls due to this heat wave), I think I will use L-glut, so I don't replace alcohol sugar for junk food sugar!
I don't know what I want to do in the future with alcohol, just now I don't want it as part of my life.
I am not full of energy, rather sluggish. Maybe that will change soon....

[newdaynow]

July Modders

Rebirth- thanks for the section about change. I really need to reread that over and over to help it sink in. I know how I want my life to be- not AF, but Alcohol Responsible.
I made it another day. So it is 3 days AF. Woohoo! I am sure I can do it again tonight.
But tomorrow night, my husband will be home and I know I will be drinking. My goal is just to drink responsibly, and not overindulge. I have tremendous willpower when it comes to food, but not to alchohol.
Well, I am going to keep trying and make this shift so I have a new normal.
Thanks for all of your help and it really does help to come here and get it all out.

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Rebirth - Tried getting Responsible Drinking on Kindle, did not succeed. Will try again esp. with your recommendation, thanks. I live in US Midwest also and did get in trouble with my exercise yest. 6 of us met to walk/run. I normally don't eat until afternoon so with nothing in my stomach, did not carry water and after climbing a ski hill I dang near fainted, kid you not. I was very, very close to passing out. verheated:

Lila - re: energy & juicer, try carrots. My nephew used to come home from work all worn out, drink some juiced carrots and claimed it gave him energy for the whole night. I also know a woman who swears it helped 'cure' her cancer. I've done it, don't mind the taste esp using organic carrots, but hate cleaning the dang juicer.

Bean - how goes it?

[rebirth]

July Modders

Lila- Thats makes sense that AL is out of your system after three months.After drinking on the weekend, I am always tired on monday but thursday morning I am really energised.

TMH- How about carrot soup? Or is it better tyo eat it fresh? Did you try Amazon? I bought this book from that particular site. Not surprised you nearly passed out if you dont eat till afternoon time. How much weight do you want to lose?

Newday- Well done on the three days. I wont be drinking today either.

Right. Gonna have a coffee and then do a workout.

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Accomplished a lot today. Low energy early afternoon so told myself if I did 2 miles on the TM, I could then go out by pool and relax. Ended up extending running time on TM, spent a little time at pool but was surprised how noisy it was (traffic close by). Having little party for gs out there tomorrow night. His b.d. is in Aug but we will be gone so a little early celebration. Play in pool, then pizza and DQ cake.

Rebirth - carrot soup wouldn't be the same because of killing the enzymes. My Kindle is loaded by Amazon, on website can order it and see it doesn't give you Kindle option. Looks like there is a workbook with it or exercises to do so I'm going to wait & buy it after our move; that way I can journal along with it. Wt? Right now .8#. Goal wt is 112; I follow Fast-5 food plan, lately more like F-8 but seems to be working as well. I have not been eating as healthy as usual. You can have coffee after work? Man, I'd never sleep.

[Bean]

July Modders

Hi All

I'm not having a very good week. I have been drinking less than I normally do but still too much. It's clear as day to me now that I mustn't have any in the house. I'm happy to have clarified that to myself. I've also identified loneliness as my biggest trigger.

It's been leading me into all sorts of despairing places in the same way that AL used to a lot of the time. I know I am a person who thrives on company and the energy of being around other people but when I get lonely, I seem to isolate myself, spend inordinate amounts of time on here or Facebook and that frustrates the hell out of me. I end up feeling worse than I did beforehand. And I can easily end up drinking when I feel that way and the incumbent lethargy the next day only adds to the problem. Argh.

Sorry not to write some more positive and upbeat post. Today I have also been stewing over a couple of things my 'sort of' boyfriend (long story) has said to me that hurt my feelings. I've allowed the feelings to fester. So today has been about some realizations that my thought patterns completely dictate how I approach life and I seem to be indulging in some very unhelpful ones. That needs to change. Just today I feel defeated and fed up and that everything is just too big of an effort.

Tomorrow I have got plans to see some friends and I know that will cheer me up and get me back on track.
Hope all are doing well.
Bean