July Modders

[newdaynow]

July Modders

Lila- you should be so proud that you are on day 7. Congrats, keep it up!

Didn't go so well last night for me. Ended up drinking with neighbors. It was the weekend so my plan backfired on me. My goal is to be able to drink on the weekends, so I used that rationale instead of keeping on the right path.
So, it's Sunday night and I am not drinking. Hoping to have a good week. Been reading the book- the easy way to quit drinking. Very good read. Though since I want to moderate, it isn't quite clicking with me. But it does make some good points.
Anyone else read it?
Anyone tried the hypnosis CD's?

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Lila - are you sleeping ok? Maybe that's why you're tired. I know when I was AF and even now inbetween planned drinking days I don't sleep well. Guess if you are AF long enough that turns around to blissful sleep. Congrats on Day 7! Oh, sometime ago you mentioned not wanting to buy a book or being embarrassed to do so. That never occurs to me. Do you think other people really care or notice what you're doing, reading? Really, I am curious if you think such. Some of the posts talk about purchasing at diff liquor stores, hiding bottles or being embarrassed about recycling bottles, all that blows my mind. Never has crossed my mind other than if we've had party at our house and 'joked' about wonder what the recycling guys thought. Really could care less. I assume they think we had a party! Never mind me, kind of thinking out loud.

NDN - felt exactly the same way about the Easy Way to Quit Drinking. I finished it, but maybe because of the mindset of wanting to mod, it just didn't resonate. I have not tried the hypnosis CDs. I did download an app on Iphone for sleeping but just barely listened to it. Not too tech saavy, just joined the world of texting a few days ago.

Went to party last night where I knew wine, food & company would be excellent. It was! So that was a couple beers on Fri playing golf and party with wine Sat. nite. Did not overdo but still had lots of water today.

Rented movie Days of Wine & Roses - working my way through that. Hard to watch black & white flick and think I've tried watching it before and found it boring. We'll see if I finish it, maybe sometime tomorrow.

Good night and looking forward to a healthy, happy start to a new week!

[Lila]

July Modders

hi Newday and TMH
Thanks for the encouragement!
Everyone sounds like they are in a healthy place! TMH, I embarrass easily! I hide beer bottles under cans, etc in the recycling. I wonder if "they" at Amazon keep track of books I look at. (they do!) I could order that book, Responsible Drinking, I did look up MM website, and it sounds helpful.
I think I am going to do a month, or whatever the plan says. I don't want to never drink, ever. I want to mod!
Newday, it does sound fun to drink with neighbors. That sounds...neighborly! And that is important.
I do have the hypnosis CDs, I bought them years ago, never really used them. Yes, I have been coming to this site for years and this is the longest I have gotten AF, and with really no cravings either. Must just be the right time.
TMH, I just learned to text about six months ago! It is nicer sometimes not having to actually call someone...
I am sleeping very very deeply. Maybe my body is just adjusting, or whatever. Today was normal as far as energy. I wish summer would go on and on....
goodnight all!

[newdaynow]

July Modders

Since I have been reading the book- easy way to quit drinking, it has definitely got me thinking about alcohol in a whole different way.
But, my son, has watched us, his parents, and all of his family/cousins, drink for years, play games with family or friends and have a lot of fun. While he has been drinking since he started college, he turned 21 last year and now he is joining in with us, at family functions where there is a lot of drinking, and at our monthly card club, again where there is a lot of drinking. And he is having fun being a part of it.
He came home from a weekend of partying and drinking, and I made the comment, that he needs to watch how much he drinks and he should be having fun without having to drink. His comment was "C'mon Mom, don't you think it is more fun when you are drinking." I didn't know how to answer that. He has seen us for years, drink and there has been a lot of laughter and people having fun. He has not seen the dark side, and he does not know I struggle with drinking, as after all of these years, I have trouble stopping, once I start.
So, my question is..... how would you have responded? I don't know if warning him about the dark side, or how someday he could become an alcoholic, is the right approach. I just wasn't sure how to answer the question. Any thoughts?

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

NDN - ah, that's a tough one. I'd be hard pressed to answer that too. I remember several years ago going AF for awhile and we had a party. My sd was there, I was drinking NA beer, and distinctly remember saying to her "drinking this beer is like kissing your sister". And I'm sure I poured myself a glass of wine. Funny to me now as we had a little b.d. party last week for gs (pizza and cake) and she was there. My dh, SIL, and son were having a beer and I had one NA beer and didn't think a thing of it.

Finished Days of Wine and Roses. Powerful movie!! Really. And way before its time, I think, I mean they even brought up the woman being susceptible to becoming an alcoholic because of her former love/addiction to chocolate.

Had a good workout so starting the week off well. Hope you're all having a good start also!
TMH

[rebirth]

July Modders

Hi Ladies,
Checking in quickly. Had a close one on saturday night. I was in the company of some serious hardcore party animals. The conversation was flowing and I was having a great time. I suddenly had the urge to get drunk with them!
I didnt do so but it shows that I will always have this wild side in me and I have to keep it tamed.

Will post some more later.x

[Lila]

July Modders

Day 8!!!
Newday, that is a tough question. My children have been used to me (oh shame!) guzzling (quality) beer every evening. Or getting home from a long day and just taking one out of the fridge. And that is fine, but I would never want them ever to give alcohol that central place I did for so long. Maybe you could share with him what you have been through, how it slowly takes over your life, etc, etc. Maybe it looks fun, well, you could talk about the cumulative effects. My last night drinking, I just remember the peacefulness never came. I just got more tense, and I couldn't really feel the effects, then angrily went through the kitchen looking for sweets. The next morning my head hurt, and the book I read said my brain had SHRUNK from dehydration. Yuck!
You could just share with him the yucky side. There are posts in the general section here, a lot of people really struggling with addiction and profoundly depressed and disempowered.
No easy answers! Probably an issue I will face soon enough.
TMH, when you say you didn't think anything of having an NA beer, are you getting indifferent to alcohol? If so, that is great! And a good example.
Rebirth, good for you. Good that you were just observing and aware of yourself.
have a good night everyone!
L

[rebirth]

July Modders

Good morning modders,

Newday - Its tough to warn your son about the negative effects of AL. My mum use to warn me about Al and drugs but I still took them because of peer pressure. I think all you can do is hope that he will see for himself that it's not the route he wants to takea.But I understand your worry. I worry for my son too and he is only seven!!

TMH- Who is in this movie? Has it just been released?

Lila- Well done on day 8!! You are rockin girl!

[rebirth]

July Modders

I decided to go to an AA meeting yesterday, just to check in and see where I was at. It was actuelly nice to see old faces and I enjoyed the group therapy. Hearing people struggling made me feel grateful for my inner strength and it reminded me again of who I use to be.

But their principles just dont work for me as I dont consider myself a raging alcoholic. I still feel I have some control over alcohol and I am determined to find out how to resolve my drinking issues without having to totally abstain.A few of the old timers still told me it wasnt possible etc etc. But I am not listening and i need to find out myself. Its a shame there are not any support groups for people who want to practise controlled drinking.

But I still enjoyed the meeting and it was very uplifting to hear the stories of people dealing with life without the need to drink on it.

[rebirth]

July Modders

So now I am thinking of only drinking every two weeks....

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Good morning ~ dressed to meet up with several friends for last trail run. Last for me because of move this weekend. And yes, we are all retired or have Tuesdays off.

Rebirth - you had the urge, you squelched it! This is your support group for practicing controlled drinking. But I know what you mean - live. Really? Drink every 2 weeks? Must be because you feel so much better AF. Good for you! I looked up AA when in FL and couldn't find any too close. Has to be nonsmoking so that takes out half and then also leaned more towards a Women's AA group which halved it again. The movie Days of Wine and Roses is old, won lots of awards. So old it's in black & white. Jack Lemmon and Lee Remerick. Depicts raging alcoholic. Makes you think.

Lila - you're trucking right along, aren't you! Day 9? I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say I was indifferent to alcohol, but I certainly wasn't feeling deprived. And yes, that is progress, isn't it?

NDN - others gave you good feedback about son. Thought of you when I read the paper today. U2 had a concert here last weekend in university stadium that does not sell alcohol. Editorial read, imagine 58,000 people having fun all without alcohol.

TMH

[Lila]

July Modders

TMH, yes day NINE!!!! the first few days it was like yikes, can I really do this, but now cravings are like, well, someday, it would be nice to have a beer...not like there had better be enough for tonight!! I think it is great you didn't feel deprived. And, like I said, a quiet example of someone who can either drink or not drink and have a good time.
Rebirth, every two weeks? That sounds like a great goal. I do really feel more empowered now, nights aren't automatically reserved for "a few beers."
AA (I have never been, but used to be involved in al anon) is great for companionship, but they do seem to know "everything."
it is looking like a beautiful day! wishing you all a great day!

[Bean]

July Modders

Hi Modders

Quickly checking in. All is well here. I finished all the AL in the house last week and will not be keeping any here. It's just a no-brainer (though, of course, I still had to check one LAST time ). Other than that, I have now twice shared a bottle of wine with my chap and although 'aware' of how much is left while we are drinking it, once it's finished, I am done. And have moved onto tea!

And then got up in the morning feeling fine. I know it's WAY too early days to think any of this means anything at all but just thought I'd share how it's going. The one thing I have yet to get stricter about is how often. I don't want to start drinking every night even IF I am successfully sticking to the 3 drinks limit. All in good time...

Rebirth: sounds like your experience at the weekend has really shaken you but don't forget, you DID IT!! You REMAINED in control as you have done since Nov last year and that is a great accomplishment. Only you know what will work for you and what you need to do next - sounds like the whole experience has got you a bit panicked. It's good to stay vigilant but also no reason to suddenly think you were white knuckling this whole time. From all your posts since Nov 2010, you weren't. In fact I think only last week, you posted that sometimes you don't even drink your allowed quota because you 'just don't feel like it'. Anyway, I am absolutely not encouraging you to drink, but just hope you can regain the healthy, controlled perspective you've had so far.

Have a wonderful day everyone and remember: "Everything in moderation, including moderation!"
Bean

[rebirth]

July Modders

Hey Bean,
I liked your quote "Everything in moderation, including moderation.

I did panic there but I am forgetting that I didnt succomb and get totally trashed. So it was a successful night. I am being way too hard on myself! Thanks for pointing that out to me TMH and Bean. I will want to practise drinking every two weeks in the future though, just to strengthen my will power.

Well done Lila on nine days!!Are you sleeping okay?

Anyway, I am off to Barbados this sunday and it will be interesting to see how I will cope with all those bars and happy hours... The plan is to stick to my no drinking between monday to thursday policy, and controlled drinking on weekends only. I will try and post when I can but it may be difficult. I am determined not to get drunk on my holiday.

Have a good evening all. x

[Lila]

July Modders

I like that quote a lot too.
Are you getting excited about moving, Bean? I always liked getting a fresh start myself. Do you have a plan, like abbing or modding? I am interested, because I don't have a plan. Just that I will want to mod. I do think 3 drinks is a lot, that is where I was, that or more, or less every night.
Rebirth, wow, Barbados! I am so jealous! Someday I want an island vacation. It would be fun to hear from you if it is possible. How long are you there for?
I think today is day 10. Last night I wanted a beer really bad for awhile. Should I have had one? I am not sure...
Hope everyone is having a great week!
L