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    #16
    August Modders

    So I broke two of my rules the other night which were not to drink alone and not to have AL in the house (on my own) BUT, I managed to stick to my limits. Ideally I won't do that again/often as I think it can be too tempting but I was really pleased that I was able to stop at my chosen point! I can't recall the last time I had a bottle of wine and didn't finish it all in one go - in fact I'm not sure it's ever happened!!

    Very happy to have been hangover free for about a month now (I think.).

    Lila - did you check out the Paleo diet?

    TMH - thanks for answering my question. I am the opposite i think - tend to go off the deep end when I'm on my own but slow down and have less when I'm out with friends.

    Bean

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      #17
      August Modders

      Bean- I am still here. But, I am struggling. Have gone off the path, and not doing very good, so I wasn't checking in. But today is a new day, and I am trying to get motivated to get back to AF during the week. Been drinking way too much with my husband and friends, and going back to the old ways. It is hard to do it alone, but I really need to do it for myself, whether my husband joins me in being AF or not.
      My strength and resolve has gone, and I need to get it back. I decided to check in here today, and see how everyone else is doing, which for the most part seems pretty good. I will keep checking in to help my motivation.
      Thanks.

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        #18
        August Modders

        Hey NDN - we are in same boat. Need to make decision to do for ourselves. Personally, I'd hope we all post whether we're doing well or struggling. It's good to share our journey and yes, it's more motivating to read others' successes but we should be here to get & give help and it's hard to help one another if we don't know how they're doing. Let's decide to be AF today, ok? ODAT

        Bean - doesn't it feel good to have control? Yeah to no hangovers! BTW, I like your tagline.
        The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

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          #19
          August Modders

          TMH, yes, I am AF now. My first choice was to only drink on weekends and not too much. That worked well last week. No drinks since last Sat. I am thinking I will start my 30 days after my two vacations which are only a few weeks apart. I will put together my plan once I am well into the 30 days. It's always the husbands fault. LOL

          Bean, I have alcohol in my house, my husband is a moderate drinker, but I'm sticking to my plan. I just told everone I wasn't drinking during the week the other day and nobody even noticed until I told them. I think telling the people closest to us helps.

          TMH, stick to your plan! We are here for you if you need us! ODAT

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            #20
            August Modders

            Well, I made it. AF last night, even though my husband had 2 glasses of wine and a beer. I kept to my plan. Definitely feeling good about it, even though at the time, I didn't. So here is to day 2 of AF. Got to keep on track. My goal is to make it to Thursday night, which is when we go to our local bar and have dinner with drinks.

            Good luck to you TMH, hope you were able to be AF last night too!

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              #21
              August Modders

              Me too! Me too! Am happy to say that. As usual, though, had hard time sleeping. This a.m. dh commented on my not sleeping well. He said he didn't either. I said you know why, don't you? No alcohol. He laughed and said we're doomed if we do, doomed if we don't. I told him "they" say it gets better. The infamous "they". Course we'd have to stay AF to experience that.

              Good job NDN! Esp since your dh drank. I want to be AF til Fri nite which is when we too go to our local Happy Hour and catch up with friends. Is it only Tues?
              TMH
              The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

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                #22
                August Modders

                I've noticed a funny thing in posts all over this board that people repeatedly say that they think they are doing well OR are struggling so they don't check in and then they fall back to their old ways. I have always been sceptical about the 'power' of the internet to make people feel accountable but it seems that consistently checking into MWO really does help people stick on the right path.

                On that note, I should take my own advice - I drank twice my limit last night and kind of knew when I poured the first glass that I wasn't in the right mental place to moderate. It was weird and I'm trying to figure out what happened. I am about to get my period any day now and I am wondering if it was a hormonal/sugar craving thing? I've noticed around this time of the month that I (want to) engage in more kind of 'reckless' drinking, I brush off my concerns about AL and don't care at that time and the AL affects me differently too. Has anyone else noticed this kind of behaviour either before or during their period? I think that once my period starts, the cravings drop off almost completely and I can totally manage AL again. I will be watching very closely this month to see what happens as it may mean being completely AF when I am pre-menstrual.

                I don't want my efforts to moderate be derailed every month so this is something I'll have to get to the bottom of. I've also used over half my 10 mod days already so need to get some AF days in over the next couple of weeks.

                I think the first couple of months of moderating might be trial and error and am ok with that. So far it's been going well up until last night. I think it's important to keep our eyes on the bigger picture and celebrate all the successes that are steps in the right direction.

                Keep going NDN. It takes a long time to change our habits. I've found that when I've stayed AF on a normal, weekday night, I enjoy it so much more when I go out for dinner or whatever and have a few drinks. Your body feels better for having had a few days break and it feels, to me like a well deserved treat. You can do this!!

                TMH, Lila, 4me - good going all. I am looking forward to hearing how Rebirth got on in Barbados.

                All for now.
                Bean

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                  #23
                  August Modders

                  hi all
                  Bean - i just was at my neighbor's cabin this weekend, not been out on a bender! I did have 1 drink each day I was there, and that was OKAY! I had a great time. I love being on the speedboat, going fast.
                  TMH - my sleep can be tricky, it has been great, and then a few days here and there lately have been bad. Maybe you are just adjusting?
                  NewDay - that is great that you were able to stay strong, really!
                  4me - how are you doing with all of this? Again, I think the supplements are really helpful. I never used the CDs, maybe once, so I don't know if they are helpful, but I use hypno CDs for other things like weight loss, sleep, confidence, you name it!
                  I also want to hear about Rebirth in Barbados. Someday, someday I will take vacations like that, too! I want to go to a tropical island again someday.
                  Well, I had a good weekend, and yesterday I started the Paleo diet. I had to wake up really early and was so tired all day. It might have been "carb flu" - that exhausted feeling you get when your body is learning to use another type of fuel. I actually ordered some real grass fed beef from a farm. I am trying to, as budget-y as I can, to have less chemicals in our food. Kemps now sells organic milk so I bought it, and my kids like it. Today, I am tired again, but not too bad, surprisingly since I have been up since 2:30. My son had a fever - he had a terrible reaction to poison ivy or something at camp. He went back to sleep after a few hours, slept til noon, but me - I just made some more coffee and stayed awake.
                  I guess it is exciting to do what you want, when I was drinking a lot I felt like, why bother, alcohol is so sugary, who cares what I ate? I always ate somewhat healthy, though.
                  Confession - last night I drank a few glasses of wine, too much really. Maybe my tolerance has gone down, but it was a little too much.
                  Hope everyone has a good night, and enjoying this last beautiful month of summer!
                  L

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                    #24
                    August Modders

                    Hi all, I read through the posts and it looks like recently some are having trouble sticking to their plan. Maybe moderating is harder than I thought?

                    Bean, For now I am AF, Sunday through Thursday until I get back from my two vacations scheduled 2 weeks apart. Depending on how that goes, I will establish the rest of my plan. Still waiting for the cd's. I am taking the supplements. So far it isn't so bad, I think I miss the relaxing more than anything, just trying to find different ways to relax.

                    Have a good night all.

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                      #25
                      August Modders

                      Day 2 AF. When we sat down to dinner my dh asked, is this another AF night for us? I said, it is for me, but go ahead and have a glass of wine if you want. And I truly would not have cared. He got himself a NA beer. Used melatonin last night, slept some, then got up at 3:00a to read. Fixed a cup of Sleepy Time Tea; alarms went off at 6a; neither one of us moved; got up at 8a. :eeks:

                      Hi Lila! Welcome back! Sorry about your son. 1/day is moderation! Sounds like having more last night made you realize you're more sensitive now. A good thing? You've gotten some cool weather, right? Us too. Going to run between showers today and wing it this afternoon, try to get in 9 holes of golf. alm: Oh, school started down here this week -can you believe it, Aug 8th?

                      Bean - have been exactly where you say before MWO re: knowing - It's like you feel a switch and think oh, oh this is not going to be good. Inner voice? And yet I don't ever remember not going right ahead. Oh, & do I remember the days of PMS and drinking and getting so emotional. Looks like you're doing a lot of serious reflection.

                      4me - I think you're smart doing it the way you are, acknowledging the 2 vacas coming up, not setting yourself up but going with the flow yet thinking about your future plan. You may even find that the Sun-Thurs works well for you and make that your eventual plan. Oh, and I think we have to realize that Rebirth has more experience than the rest of us in this moderation thing, yes, can teach us, is one terrific role model, admire her tremendously and just like AF friends here at MWO are here for each other, we can be too. Ok, rambling.....

                      Missing Rebirth yet happy for her getting to be in Barbados. Esp. knowing what's going on in UK. She's from UK, is she not? Dh former boss is in London; says it's like being back in the 60's.

                      Make it a good day, Ladies! I plan to.
                      TMH
                      The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

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                        #26
                        August Modders

                        Another night AF! So 2 nights this week.

                        TMH- I wish I could feel the way you do, that you didn't care if your husband drank or not. It's really hard for me when my husband is drinking. And he drinks almost every night. The difference is he knows when to stop. Wish I could have that attitude about his drinking and have it not affect me.

                        Not sure if I can make it three nights in a row. I know I should, but I feel my strength dissolving. I have been trying to do this to be a better role model for my son, but when he goes out, I then have some, figuring he isn't seeing it. I know, not good.

                        Had my annual doctors appointment today. Scared she is going to tell me my liver is damaged from all the drinking I have been doing. I have put off this visit, as I should have gone in March, but I was afraid of what they might find regarding my liver. I hope and pray that everthing is okay.

                        I will look for inner strength and hope for the best.

                        Hope everyone else is doing good and staying on their path.

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                          #27
                          August Modders

                          TMH, I think it is a good plan too. I will use strict moderation while I'm gone. Thanks for the vote of confidence. We all need that. You are right, there is strength in numbers!

                          Newday, have you checked out the threads in the newbies nest? There is some really great advice there. Do you take the supplements and listen to the tapes? Here is how I am doing it, I tell myself I don't drink during the week and that is it. Of course it help I can come here for support. You can do it, just change what you are saying to yourself! I am here if you need someone to talk to as is everyone.

                          Have a good night all.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            August Modders

                            Hi Everyone

                            NDN - well done on the AF days you ARE achieving. Not so long ago it was NONE and now it is 1 or 2...that's progress my friend even if if doesn't feel that way. I can't remember if you said you'd ever discussed all this with your husband? If he really is a normal drinker, would it be unthinkable for him to not drink some nights of the week to support you? We all know that we can't avoid AL forever and having it around us but when we are trying to get a handle on it, it's SOOOOOO much harder if there is someone around us who is drinking in front of us. How was the Dr visit? All is well I hope.

                            4me - where are you going on hols?

                            Lila - how is the Paleo diet going? I am enjoying the food but have been cheating a bit and not doing any formal exercise so I think that's why I'm not seeing any progress. My boyfriend started a similar diet a couple of weeks ago, stuck to it religiously and has apparently lost 8lbs already. The git! Jealous? Moi?

                            TMH - how long have you been moderating? Did you try to have certain nights off every week and then realize you wanted to pick and choose the AL nights or did you just do that from day 1?

                            As per my last post, I did get my period the following morning and I drank again (more than my limit) that night. However last night, I was AF and it was effortless, no cravings, no worries. This is clear to me that something hormonal is causing huge cravings around the time of menstruation. I think I am going to steer clear of AL the few days before from now on. I read a bunch of other posts from other gals on this site who said the same thing. Two of them were on the meds thread which I thought was really interesting - I somehow had it in my mind that people on BAC are able to brush the cravings away or don't get them. These two posters were 'indifferent' to AL and almost completely abstinent but found that just before menstruation, they always had big cravings. Made me feel better about what happened with me this week and that I am not failing at the moderation thing after all.

                            Have a good day all.
                            Bean

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                              #29
                              August Modders

                              Hi Modders
                              Bean, I am doing the Paleo diet. I think I really like it. I seem to have more energy. And you can just google for Paleo recipes, so that is great. I have not weighed myself, maybe I am afraid to.
                              4me, I was reading on the boards and some people really used the CDs a lot and found them helpful.
                              New day, that is great, to get used to nights AF.
                              TMH, why are you setting alarms??
                              I am a little crabby today, really could use a break from my kids! Have to go now, but wanted to check in.
                              L

                              Comment


                                #30
                                August Modders

                                Hi Aug Mods ~ had one of those odd moments yest - dh & I played 9 holes of golf, hot and thirsty after and dh asked how about if we go in and I buy you a marguerita? Asked it as though we were on a date - I succumbed. We used to run lots of marathons and discovered margueritas to be a great recovery drink, hence a little history to this. I thought "it's Thursday" not Fri, Sat. or Sun but went with it. Do I apologize to you guys or myself? No, don't really feel that's necessary. Dh knows I can get carried away with a new regimen, become almost obsessed with it, and I don't want him to think this is yet another all or nothing, black or white area in my life. Yet I know I need to set guidelines for myself and then follow them too. And admit that since we drank those (I had 1; he had 2) we ended up having wine last night too. Was thinking about it this a.m. and decided to dwell on the positive; yes, I do drink but 1/3 of what I used to.

                                NDN - did you get dr report? I don't know, maybe I wasn't smart enough to worry about that??? 2X a dr has told me he checked my liver after a blood test (not knowing this was to be included) and both times it was fine. The last time was an oncologist and I remember dh coming home with a case of wine and my joking about liver testing good. I do, however, know that it is NOT a joking matter. You sound sad. Maybe a part of the withdrawal? Are you feeling better? Like Bean said, you ARE making progress.

                                Bean - been moderating less than 2 months. At first I wanted to do AF during week, drink on weekends. Actually when very first began I said one week night would be ok too. Program didn't seem to fit in July but here we are well into Aug. and appears it still isn't. Glad you figured out PMS craving.

                                Lily - why am I setting alarms? I don't know; always have. I like to sit & drink coffee & watch Joyce Meyer at 6:30a. In midwest only time of day she's on; down here in the Bible Belt can watch her almost anytime of day but when I wait until 8:00 it seems like so much of the day is gone already. When I worked full time I got up at 5:30 so that I could do my readings and exercise before my workday. One of those habits. It's ok to be crabby sometimes. Do kids go to dad's this weekend?

                                Well, time to get ready for Friday Night Happy Hour. I could easily skip it, will see what dh wants to do. I think he will want to go as the socializing part of all this is new to him. Have a nice Fri nite!
                                TMH
                                The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

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