August Modders

[Eve11]

August Modders

The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

I love your signature TMH!~ Good to *see* you again too. Good job with getting all of the chores done. I always find I have so much more energy to get things done when not feeling the pain of the night before. I like how you find you're not imbibing more once you're home too. So much of it is habit and bad habit at that. Good job. Keep up the good work!!

:l
Eve11

[newdaynow]

August Modders

Hi everyone! I am still struggling just like the rest. Friday night was really bad. My husband made some really strong drinks and we ended up partying way too much. Though Saturday was better, we actually did something, we went to see a Blues Brothers revue, and so I didn't drink nearly as much as I usually do on a Friday night.
Bean, wish I had words of encouragement for you, but I really understand how you feel. That is when I drink the most, when I feel lonely. I know that is when I should be reaching out, but sometimes I just can't.
Only 1 AF day this week so far, but I didn't drink overboard last night.
Last night my son left for college, so I am really going to have to watch it. It was great having him home and many times I did not drink as much or at all because he was around. And of course emotionally I am going to miss him, so that brings up the lonely feelings.

So, onward we go, trying to make it work. Will try to take it one day at a time.

[rebirth]

August Modders

Hi everyone,
Just got back yesterday and I have a huge backlog of work to do but I will try and log in tonight and let you all know how my holidays went.
Will catch up on the posts too. Hope everyone is okay. xxx

[4me]

August Modders

Hi all, a quick check-in while on vacation in TX.

Bean, I took a second to read through your last thread. I can relate all to well. I also drink out of stress or that is my excuse, not sure. I do know that it only compounds our problems, speaking from great experience. Try and find something you love that is soothing, maybe something you use to enjoy but have replaced with the easy fix of alcohol. I wish you the best.

[rebirth]

August Modders

Folks just a quick recap about my hols.

Drink wise I did have alot more than normal but I never got out of control. I did drink every two to three days but they were no more than a couple each time.With the exception of my birthday itself as I allowed myself more drinks than normal. But even then I paced myself and drank soft drinks in between. I am now back to being AF on week days again.

But shit still happened because of alcohol!:upset:

The first week was lovely and then it went terribly wrong after that. On my birthday my BF binge drank all day and ended up being ridiculously drunk by the end of the night..In a nutshell, I tried to get us back to our hotel but he decided to wander into the hotel next door to ours. I then tried to make him leave but he was adamant that it was the right one.The more I told him that it was the wrong building, the more verbally aggressive he became. He then tried to forcefully drag me into the lobby.That was enough for me so I told him that he could stay as I had enough and I was leaving without him. As I turned away from him he kicked me really hard in the ribs! I yelped in pain, and then started to cry uncontrollably. Seeing me in that state sobered him up suddenly ( Thank God!) and he immediately snapped back to his old self.

That night ruined the rest of the holiday.I barely spoke to him for the rest of the time and he knew that he messed up real bad! I have been with this man for nearly three years and I never thought he would be physically abusive. He is in complete shock of his behaviour too. He is extremely ashamed and embarrassed at his actions and says he will do whatever is needed to repair this terrible incident. He even volunteered on his own to give up the drink, have counselling sessions etc.

I just don?t know what to do. I I am so angry and confused right now. One part of me wants to end our relationship and another wants to give him a second chance. I am absolutely devastated at the moment. My trust in him is shattered completely. But am I a hypercrite to not give him a second chance? He was very drunk on spirits and never usually drinks as much as that. He may not drink as much as I ever did but its clear that he also has a drink problem too.Shouldnt I be giving him a second chance or will he do this again to me??

I am currently having a break from him and have not been in touch since we both returned to the UK.
Enough of my rant. Gonna read up on the posts..

[rebirth]

August Modders

Just read everyone's posts..was lovely to catch up with everyone's lives.

Bean- I can imagine your stress of moving country. I did this many times and I always drank on it. I can promise you now that the hangovers are making you feel weaker to deal with your anxieties..But I know that you know this.:l

Can you try and give yourself some AF days? I am going through a really shit time too but I am determined not to drink on it. Lets do this together? x

[rebirth]

August Modders

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[4me]

August Modders

Rebirth, just wanted to take a second to touch base with you on your last post. All you need to do is look into your past with your BF to see into your future with him. You know the answer already.

[rebirth]

August Modders

Good morning 4me. Nice to meet you.

I honestly don't know the answer. I am really sitting on the fence here. I think I just need to embrace my break away from him. Hopefully time will give me a bit more clarity.

Have a good day all. My jetlag is slowly disappearing.

[letgolaughing]

August Modders

hi
I am back after a long break(unfortunately)from this board. long story short, i was/am a nightly drinker, although i can stop at one, i usually go for 2 over the summer, i got up to 3, and told myself at the end of the summer, NO MORE DRINKING EVERY EVENING! I have been down that road before and never really had much success. I'm pretty good at moderating 1-3 glasses of wine but just not good at having ZERO .
So, I have had 9 days AF tonight will be my 10th. I got through my 18th wedding anniversary, my 9th cancerversary and several stints of stress in the last 10 days without my glass of wine. The longest I went before when i was trying to stop the nightly drinking was 3 or 4 nights. So, i'm proud that i set my 10 day AF goal and reached it.

I just need a plan in place so I don't screw it up now. We are going to a concert tomorrow night and I am going to drink. I'm not worried about overdoing it, because that's not really my weakness, I'm worried about Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.....
So, I have to figure out my plan, but I wanted to chime in and say hello. I do think coming here and making myself accountable helps. I also think the support helps too

OH, and my DH has been very supportive and has been AF with me for these 10 days too. He isn't a nightly drinker, but like 4 nights a week, but still i'm glad he did it with me.

[Bean]

August Modders

Hi Rebirth - Welcome back!!

So sorry to hear about what happened on your holiday. An ex boyfriend once slapped me across the face, years ago and I knew that was it. Over. That said, I was only 21 at the time and there were a myriad of things standing in our way (and it wasn't even a good relationship!) before that happened. Not such a hard decision - in fact, in some ways a relief as it gave me a concrete reason to leave. It must be very hard for you to know what to do after 3 years invested with this man. I guess my advice to you is to give it time and wait. You had a nasty shock, a long way from home and you both need time to readjust to your normal lives and process what happened.

It does sound like he really shook himself up too and wants to do whatever he can to repair the damage but will he actually follow through? Only you can make the final decision - it may be that the incident was a total one-off and will never ever happen again but an equally worrying aspect is that you are trying to manage alcohol responsibly in your life and he clearly is not. I would think you would like and deserve to be with someone who is on the same page in that respect. I can't count how many posts I read about people who are doing well because their partner is supportive or struggling because their partner is not.

Anyway, just a few first responses. I have to go but will check in later and just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. Glad you are back. I am in much better spirits these last few days but my modding is all over the place. I need to recommit to my plan.

One great thing that's happened is I've been on the Paleo diet for 3 weeks now and have lost 7lbs and .5-1" all over. And I haven't been exercising so it's an encouraging start! But I want to start exercising again because I know that really helps me stick to my AF/mod plan.

Hi to everyone else. Hope your weeks are going well.
Bean

[rebirth]

August Modders

Hey Bean- Good to hear from you! Thats one of my worries..he is saying all the right things but will he follow through?
I have not spoken to him since we got back and I have no intention to be in contact with him for at least three weeks. Want to give him a bit of a scare. Just want to make sure that he is getting my message loud and clear..that getting drunk and kicking your girlfriend is unacceptable. He has to change or it's over.I deserve way better than that!!
Well done on the diet! 7 lbs is fantastic! I ate like a horse on holiday so I need to get back into my healthy eating habits again. Next week I will start exercising etc. I am glad to hear that you are mentally feeling better too.

Hi letgolaughing! Welcome. It's always good to meet new people on this thread. Hope you will keep posting.

Where is everyone else?

I was a little worried that I may have difficulties to return to my old routine of being AF during the week as i had been drinking every two to three days while on holiday. But I am fine. No cravings at all.
x

[rebirth]

August Modders

P.s The avatar is a picture of me and my son. Taken on Monday in Barbados. I was miserable though because I had the fight with my BF a few days before that. Shame.

[ToMyHealth]

August Modders

Hi! I'm here. Posted this a.m. but lost it. Gggrrrr.

Rebirth - yes, welcome back, you were missed! Am so sorry about BF situation. Has to be tough. Who was with your son on your b.d. when all this happened? Love your beach pics & I hope you have some great memories of holiday too.

LGL - good job on the 10 Days AF! I hear you on starting & then worrying about flwg days. I was AF on Mon; Tues we celebrated b.d., did exactly as planned, had wine but not too much & none when got home. Then there's last night. ((sigh)) Pulled out leftovers, dh opened bottle of wine and even tho I already had a non-alcoholic beer poured, I took one too and we finished the bottle - a large bottle. Not a good day altho I wouldn't let myself be lethargic, kept going and drank tons of water. Tonite - no question AF, already in pj's.

Bean - man, to lose wt without exercising. Good for you! Even tho I admit to being hungover today I took a one hour golf lesson in high heat & humidity, did a one hour w/o tape, biked 5 miles outdoors. But because I only got about 7K steps in, rather than 14K, I'll more than likely gain wt today. So I'm envious! Didn't eat badly but sure your Paleo is better.

4me - hot in TX? Hear it's a pretty tough summer there but hope you're having a good time!

Lila / Eve - how are you?

TMH

[Lila]

August Modders

hi all
reading everyone's posts. it is so good to catch up with everyone and hearing how everyone's doing.
my house feels so busy lately, it is just hard to write these last few days. I really need my quiet!!! I had a houseguest for a few days, and right now my youngest 2 are fighting!
so I read here but don't respond always.
i am doing fine, just could use a break from my kids.
Rebirth, yikes, I don't know what to say. I don't know a lot about relationships, but you do sound strong and not about to put up with unhealthy behavior. So sorry that happened during your holiday.
Eve, good to see you here again! I have been wondering where you were!
Bean, how are you doing? I was wondering when you were down if you were having too few carbs? I am on the Paleo diet too, some of my clothes are a little loose, still too afraid to weigh myself. I feel like I have been eating a lot, but I know I am not getting heavier. It does feel so easy to do now, don't even miss bread. When do you move, pretty soon now, right?
Newday, sorry to hear that! But you sound introspective and you'll figure things out, how to lesson triggers. I know a big trigger for me is feeling sorry for myself for not getting to be alone, for example.
Letgolauging, not sure if I remember you, I was pretty regular here, and then dropped out for a long time. But welcome back! Ten days is great!
4me, how are the tapes? Are they helpful? I have always wondered.
TMH, are you all set up in your house? Moving is so hard! When I moved into my new house 3 years ago, I just thought I can't do this for at least a bunch of decades!
I have a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck! I have been a sahm and then a student for so long I don't know how to do this. I did put together a cute outfit, I actually bought tall boots, they are so fun! It is fun to wear cute clothes!
have a good night!
L