hey mighty mouse, so do you ever get drunk? or just barely get a buzz always when you drink?
I am 25, not quite terribly addicted to alcohol, but on my way, and i want to try to reverse and moderate my drinking. i dont feel i can completeely stop at my age. my friends mostly love to go out. i have been better with moderating, but lately its been difficult bc my bf is drinking everyday, and im always with him, so ive been increasing in how many days per week im drinking .,its about five now, compared to twice a year or two ago, before i was with him. however im very aware and trying to moderate it and not get to druink if i go out on a friday night. anyway, what i was going to say, was that there are different types of alcoholics. ive heard, and seen and am sure of it. there are those like my boyfriend, who dont have a genetic disposition to it, and drink everyday, maybe a six pack, maybe two beers, but they know when to stop and dont WANTTTT to keep drinking say if they hit a drunk state, or even a buzzed state, or even NOT. whatever they feel like doing. however, my bf i believe, has become dependent a bit on alcohol, he doesnt and wouldnt prefer to even go a day without it. OK, so then theres me. I used to go out and drink twice a week, but when i did, i would get to the point of blackin out, not know what i did or said, at times passed out on the bar, gotten flagged. if someone said to me when i was to drunk, " hun, u need to stop drinking now uve had enough" i would be like no . and start a fight if they argued. my bf and i have gotten into many fights about it. hes tried to stop me and i litearlly scream and cause a scene because having that next drink means so much to me. i dont remember this stuff, he tells me the next day! cuz i black out and dont even remember half the fights we've gotten into. i woudlnt drink everyay, but when i did, i woudlnt know when to stop. both sides of my family are alcohlics, and seriou sones. i truly believe, i am the dangerous alcohlic and my bf can live like this forever maybe. and not hav eproblems. for me its a struggle to have just two or three beers, and not be DYING to have more. i have to fight myself. to me that is the difference between someone like my bf who just loves alcohol but isnt genetically dispositioned to be an alcohlic, and myself who if i do not do something , or fight my drinking, will become an alcohlic no doubt. however, i believe being in this relationship has defenitly worsened it, because i crave it everyday now. because he drinks everyday. i used to be fine with drinking on a thursday "lady's night" and a saturday. i hope if we do break up, which i think migh thappen eventually because o fhis controlling and possessive behavior, i hope i can go back to just drinking twice a week and now that im more aware of it, try to not get drunk to the point of blacking out.
Comment