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    #16
    June Mod Squad

    Well, thank you, Eve, for recognizing retirement communities are like one big party! I can't tell you how many people I know who still have homes up north, and they will say, "oh, we drink much more down here than we ever do at home". But choosing to live here, I need to stay diligent.

    I have made some nondrinking friends, and I enjoy and admire them. One lady in my Bible Study has an every other week Fri night couples bible study at her home, and invited us. I want to join as Friday night is a big "happy hour, club dinner" night and I thought it is yet again another avenue to not be around it so much. I told her we would think about joining in after our trip. Well, dh says he doesn't want to add another thing to the calendar right now. That may change.

    Good job on last night, Eve! Do you get good sleep? I think I need to set a timer on my Iphone to get me to take OTC sleeping meds right after dinner. Last night I finally took a couple about 11:30p (had shut off lights at 10:00), slept fitfully until early morning hours and then I am dead to the world and struggle to get up. Stands to reason I should take early to sleep earlier and get up earlier. Duh!

    TMH
    The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

    Comment


      #17
      June Mod Squad

      Hi Stewarts

      Stewarts;1667774 wrote: Very interesting stuff. I'd like to hear about your experiences. 12-step programs are not for everyone. Nothing against AA, I have several friends in the program and they are doing fabulous! Their problems were a lot different, these people are clear addicts and seriously cannot touch alcohol period! It is a matter of life and death with them.

      I saw a hypnotist two weeks ago, that was very interesting and even a little mindblowing. I am seeing her again tomorrow. The thin with that is, you need to make a clear decision, she said, "If you want to have a few glasses of wine with dinner, or a few beers after your hockey games that fine, but I need to know if that's it or you want to completely abstain?"

      Best,

      j.
      I don't think I mentioned it, but focused hypnotism can be very helpful, mostly because in empowers YOU, and you are "Healthy, Powerful, and In Control". That and a lot of reading (Stanton Peele, Kick the Drink, Sinclair Method, Allen Carr, etc).

      It all sure helped me !! I'm visiting my excellent hypnotherapist again tomorrow, and will get a recording and a subliminal track.

      All these approaches are all additive, and you can make up your own mind !!

      The sad part of my introduction into stopping my alcohol problems was the lack of resources offered by my states Professional organization, or any local counselors. Maybe worse was that I really couldn't see outside my alcohol fog what the extent of the problem actually was.

      Now things are clear, and occasional and rare drinking has been fine, no problems, never going over .06 BAC, etc. Best of all, the hypnotism and other techniques really addressed and made the cravings and urges entirely manageable, and hardly noticeable !!

      My wife and I finally like me again, and no worries, guilt, shame, embarrassment, etc, etc etc.

      That's my story, and trust me, on a day like today, 3 bottles of wine/day was my usual last year.

      Regards

      G

      Comment


        #18
        June Mod Squad

        Cool

        guapo;1667811 wrote: I don't think I mentioned it, but focused hypnotism can be very helpful, mostly because in empowers YOU, and you are "Healthy, Powerful, and In Control". That and a lot of reading (Stanton Peele, Kick the Drink, Sinclair Method, Allen Carr, etc).

        It all sure helped me !! I'm visiting my excellent hypnotherapist again tomorrow, and will get a recording and a subliminal track.

        All these approaches are all additive, and you can make up your own mind !!

        The sad part of my introduction into stopping my alcohol problems was the lack of resources offered by my states Professional organization, or any local counselors. Maybe worse was that I really couldn't see outside my alcohol fog what the extent of the problem actually was.

        Now things are clear, and occasional and rare drinking has been fine, no problems, never going over .06 BAC, etc. Best of all, the hypnotism and other techniques really addressed and made the cravings and urges entirely manageable, and hardly noticeable !!

        My wife and I finally like me again, and no worries, guilt, shame, embarrassment, etc, etc etc.

        That's my story, and trust me, on a day like today, 3 bottles of wine/day was my usual last year.

        Regards

        G
        I got to start to reading Allen Carr again, I stopped because I got busy, not because I didn't like it. My problem has been depression, as most of the regulars know, I won't bore you with the details, but a lot has happened to me the past few years. Granted, it's not life or death, or I need to worry about poverty, but it affected me negatively. I think that was one of my problems, I felt guilty for having these feeling because they were about relationships, women, etc., and people are out there starving....actually the hypnotist told me, you can't start comparing yourself to other who may or may not have it worse than you...you can't control that, only what you feel and want to feel.

        I like her and she's extremely reasonable. She's not in NYC so our session are over SKYPE, which did concern me a little bit, but it wasn't a problem at all. I also think she's gorgeous! I even told her that in our initial email exchanges, and needed to get past that, because having a session of me putting on charm and hitting on her wouldn't do anyone any good. Once I got past that, oh, and I listened to a hypnotism audio recording I downloaded to my phone, I was able to see how this may work.

        Oh, Guapo, and she told me to not get worried about this, because it happens often, but do you remember the first time you went under, after it was done, that night, having wild, random and totally bizarre dream???? She warned me that it happens a lot to people, I wasn't sure I believed her, but HOlY SH#$ was she right!!!!

        j.

        "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" Psalms 13:2

        Comment


          #19
          June Mod Squad

          Hypnotism

          No bad dreams, but went really deep and felt a bit anxious for awhile, but it passed. There is NO question it is working very well. My hypnotist is not hit on able so I'm good there.

          There's a Wendi.com website, who does some excellent online stuff. You can preview it on the site or youtube. She makes a lot of sense with her whole approach, and listening to that is free.

          Ultimately though, I did her sessions, but doing it with a good local person was the best.

          What's your story overall, there must be good hypnotists in NYC, I have to travel here, but not too far.

          Comment


            #20
            June Mod Squad

            Hope you all don't think I'm crazy! But it's raining! This depression is riding strong...... I can't even drink enough to ease the pain!!!! I know.... I know!!!! But if your walls were crumbling down around you what would you do? I'm a Christian and have been praying and believing but.....
            My whole life has always been about not having enough money! I'm just feeling very sad!!!!

            Comment


              #21
              June Mod Squad

              Hope you all don't think lowly of me..... trying to stay positive but.....I'm sad!!!!!!!!! It's not just about money cause I know that's not going to fix everything but it could change some things.... being poor is awful!!!!!!!

              Comment


                #22
                June Mod Squad

                -143
                I was very poor when I was young. Took in a teen brother as neither parent was capable at the time. I was only 19. Only made enough money to cover rent, food, electricity (essentials) and no extra money for ANYTHING else. Government assist wasn't great back then and I was so honest that when they asked questions about medical and dental for the year, I told them no expenses (leaving no room for needed expenses) so I lost out on government money that could have helped us with food as we truly had no spending money. No haircuts, no new clothes, no dinners or movies out, etc. So, I personally know what it is like to be poor and it isn't easy. However, I don't remember horrible memories of having little money. Friends came over and hung out or we went to their houses. Concerts in the parks were free, walks around the lake didn't call for an admission pass. So, we learned to enjoy things that didn't require money to get in. The experience taught me to be very frugal and to be smart with my money. We use coupons when we go out and think nothing of it. We joke that the "money feels better in our pocket". Take a look at your lifestyle and figure out what you can eliminate to help with your financial situation. Write down what you spend daily so you don't nickel and dime yourself to death. Cut out non-essentials. Some people have cell phones as well as land lines. Maybe time to get rid of the land line. Cable tv or things like that. Tv is free still and there is plenty to watch without extra expenses of what we think we need. Of course you may be doing all of this already as I don't know you but keep it in mind that there are usually extras we all pay for that can be streamlined so there is more money in your pocket. And don't forget to find graditude in the things you do have. Money can't buy health or love. You are truly rich if you have those. Private mail me if you want to share more info that could help me help you. Remember, we are ALL here for you.

                :l
                Eve11
                "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                ~Jack Welsh~:h

                God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                Comment


                  #23
                  June Mod Squad

                  HI, Guys.
                  Guapo, so happy to have you! And I bet that Stewarts is thrilled to have another man around the house. He's been hen-pecked a lot, by all the rest of us! But we love him, and he knows it, thank goodness. I have used the hypno cds that come from the MWO org, and feel some benefit from them, but have never felt as if I truly went under whne I was hypnotized by a real person. I suppose I wasn't with a truly good practioner.

                  -143, I am so sorry for your troubles. Eve, you always have such good advice, and seem to always have experience to match what we are going through. I know that -143 will appreciate what you have said.

                  TMH and Stewarts, I am with you on the wanting to do an extended AF stint. I will be ready whenever you are, I think, as if I wait for all the planets to line up in my life, it will never happen.

                  DancingGirl, glad you are back! Have a marvelous trip.

                  Emmy... what can I say, Girl? I just love reading your posts.

                  We are going to the lake for a few days to work. As you know, the place is on the market (:upset and there is still lots of work to do to keep/get it up to snuff. But we love being there. However, it will be next week before you hear from me. I will keep you in my heart until then.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    June Mod Squad

                    Hi all,

                    The last two nights I have struggled with wanting to have a drink and I KNOW it is only because the stuff is in house and easily accessible. However, the drinktracker has really helped me this week as I keep wanting to post 0s and not 1s or 2s on a week-night. Do have a birthday next week on Wed. so will probably imbibe that night but as long as I don't go over 7 drinks in a week, then I am pretty content with my moderation program.

                    Sometimes writing things down really can help us. Just as writing what we eat daily (food tracker) that some support groups recommend, writing how much we drink and being honest about it can help us here. I know I have cheated in the past by just quitting the drinktracker charting the minute I go over, but if a person really wants to work this program completely, I think that the drinktracker helps more than people realize. Especially those really struggling (like I do sometimes) to NOT have that next drink or a drink at all. Here's to a happy hump day!

                    :l
                    Eve11

                    )
                    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                    ~Jack Welsh~:h

                    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                    Comment


                      #25
                      June Mod Squad

                      Be good

                      -143;1667969 wrote: Hope you all don't think lowly of me..... trying to stay positive but.....I'm sad!!!!!!!!! It's not just about money cause I know that's not going to fix everything but it could change some things.... being poor is awful!!!!!!!
                      -143, it will pass. Rain can cause depression. I know this sounds easier than actually doing, but try and get some rest. I had a bad breakdown, AL related, in May. I didn't do anything bad drinking, but when I woke up the next morning, I had terribly anxiety, felt extremely depressed and wanted to die.

                      If at all possible, go be with someone. My parents (and I'm 39), actually came back from their summer house in Rhode Island to be with me that day. I was actually taking an MBA overview class, it was all day. I got trough it.

                      Trust me, NO ONE thinks lowly over you here. Post as many times as you want if it makes you feel better. I can tell you, I have said similar things like you to the people on this board, and they were all always very supportive. It sounds like you have something chemical going on, don't be ashamed, I do as well. I wish we could post pictures on this Board, maybe that's something management can add (?). Right now the sun has finally come out in NYC. If you can, close your eyes and imagine it. My office window looks east, I have a view over Rock Center, looking above 30 Rock (yes, like the TV show and in the distance I can see the top of the Citibank Building (the white triangle top), the sun's glare is dancing off hypotenuse side of the building's roof. It's loud and bustling below - cars, cabs, horns, tourists, people, too many people; but it is sure peaceful up here. Looking out the window, it appears to be some mechanical-like Nirvana.

                      j.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        June Mod Squad

                        Thanks guys! I appreciate the support! Still feeling sad today but I'm af.... it's just this leaky roof situation! Just wish I had about $3000 laying around then the roof would be done! Nothing positive yet from the agencies I've contacted so far..... and the rain keeps pouring!

                        And yea Eve.... my hubby and I have been together for 33 years and married for almost 28 years..... met him when I was 15. We've always been poor.... my family was poor. Money or the lack of money has been an issue my whole life so far....and I'll be 49 in September. It just makes me sad to think I'm getting ready to start the second half of my life.... and wondering if I'll die poor.....

                        We haven't had cable in about 10 years.... and no land line for about 6 years. We only buy clothes when needed.... well my grand daughter gets clothes but seasonally not every pay.We don't hang out.... drinking has been our only entertainment... but now that we are cutting back not even spending as much on that! Just need something good to happen!!!

                        Comment


                          #27
                          June Mod Squad

                          Dear 143,
                          Don't worry, something good is just around the corner. There are lots of good things in your life, but I do understand how hard it is when you're struggling financially.
                          My trick was always to make a list of the debts and upcoming expenses, then a list of how/ where I could get more money coming in. I've collected drink cans, worked 4 part time jobs at one stage. Have you ever heard of Streetbank? I've joined in my neighbourhood. It's where people post requests for things they need and also of things they are offering. These things can be household goods for giving or loaning out, and skills that they are happy to share locally. There may be a group of people who could help you with the roof, or maybe someone has spare materials left over from a renovation or repair of their own? Another group of trades people in Australia are the Grey Army. They are skilled trades people who are retired and they offer their services at very good prices. You may just need more quotes.
                          I really hope this can give you some inspiration because I know that it always feels so much better when you actually manage to make a start on the problem. Make yourself a plan and things won't seem so overwhelming. Perhaps also the bank could help with a loan? I know loans are daunting but if you're honest with them about your situation they won't set you up with repayments that are too difficult.
                          It's sleep time in Oz now so I'll say goodnight. Very tired and AF so I should sleep while my body wants to!
                          Take care,
                          X
                          Em

                          Comment


                            #28
                            June Mod Squad

                            Beautiful word picture Stewarts and so true about weather affecting people. I truly believe I have seasonal affective disorder because I can get very blue when it's been cold for too long (used to live 4 miles south of Canada) or gloomy for too long. I also am a big believer that AL can cause depression. Especially if one has indulged too much and has the hangover to go along with it. Can be downright nasty.

                            Emmy Lou, wonderful advice, especially the info about Streetbank. We have something similar here called the neighborhood post. It is unbelievable the good luck we have had with that. I posted an ad for the kids (young parents (minimum age earners in need of..). It was unbelievable with the amount of items that were just donated (no money even requested). They got a changing table, crib, bassinet, sheets, etc. -143, if there isn't anything in your area maybe you could start one! Ours was started by a local guy in the neighborhood. Not sure how he got everyone's email addy's (I could ask him if it would help), but he introduced his free business, requested people to sign up, and then like here, you can read posts and submit posts. My son wanted to buy a flat screen tv for his gf for graduation and he posted an "in search of" ad. Somone called him and GAVE him a 40 inch flat screen tv! They were handling the estate of an elderly relative who had passed and just wanted to get rid of it.

                            -143, I know the sadness with not having money. It is hard. But one can always turn it around and make it a challenge to change your life and make it better. 40 something is still very young. I have friends in their 40s right now going back to school. The medical field (which I am in) is always going to be needed. A nursing degree will give you good money and lots of flexibility. Student loans could help make it happen if you have an interest in that or something similar. Massage therapy school could be an option. They can end up making really good money too.

                            Please know that we are all rooting for you, and without knowing you and not being able to read facial signals or hear tones, hopefully none of us say something that you are offended by.

                            On a personal note, we worked until 9 last night tending to needs and problems of renters. Hubby's job can be non stop sometimes. So, we had a very late dinner at 9:30 at a restaurant and I relaxed with 1 glass of wine. Had to have had sulfites in it because I had a very mild headache today but was pleased I wasn't craving a 2nd or coming home and opening the bottle in the fridge for more.

                            Have a great day friends and visitors.
                            :l
                            Eve11
                            "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                            ~Jack Welsh~:h

                            God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                            Comment


                              #29
                              June Mod Squad

                              YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST CARING...... SUPPORTIVE..... LOVING PEOPLE THAT I'VE NEVER MET LOL!!!!!!!!!! Such good advice!!! The other day one of my daughter's friend's boyfriend said he would help us for free, but I was feeling so discouraged I couldn't see how he could help if he didn't have money and we didn't have supplies.But I woke up around 3am this morning and checked in here and with all the good advice I got inspired! I remembered about an organization I had heard about on the news months ago....that does the barter system. Then it hit me!!! What if somebody sells used tarps??? So....I checked online and they do!!! The shipping might be costly and timely. So.....I found a store that has the smaller ones on sale (because the large ones are expensive) but I found out we can glue the smaller ones together with this vinyl cement and make them as large as we want!!!! And get the boyfriend and maybe a couple of people from the organization to put themselves up there!!!! Long term temporary fix!!! Then we could buy the real supplies a lit tl at a time!!! Amen!!!
                              THANKS AGAIN... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! :h:h:h:thanks:

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                                #30
                                June Mod Squad

                                Ooops ....the last part of that message got messed up! It should read get them up there.... and....a little at a time....

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