I don't want to be totally AF......,

[Samstone]

Maybe see if there is one where you live Sam. Do you live a sheltered live cause you choose to or because you have to?

yes on all accounts!!

[blue1]

Back to the laundry deal...my hubby has been doing our laundry for a while now. I've had a phobia of basements since I was 7. But I would go down there to wash all of clothes (5 people) on Tuesdays drinking a beer in between loads just to get the courage to go down there.

It took me years to figure out how I developed the phobia. Came to the conclusion that it came from being molested by my brother down there. He didn't ever penetrate me but the last episode was very disgusting....that's the day I got introduced to semen.

I remember laying on some old clothes that had that what I call basement smell looking at spider webs under the dryer while he did what he did and when he finished he wiped me off with the stinky basement clothes.

From that day on the basement was dark...dirty....and stinky. And they all still feel like that to me.

Sometimes we get tornado warnings and I get scared cause I know I'm not going in the basement. So far I haven't had to find out.

That's why I don't think AA or something like that would work for me....cause I would never be able to talk about this face to face. But I feel comfortable to share this horror story with you guys.

Who would have thought the subject of laundry would bring that memory up today for me?

I remember when I stopped going down there he would try to blackmail me. Saying he was going to tell my mom about something a may have done that I wasn't suppose to. I finally wound up telling my older sister (the one that's sick) and she told my mom...but my mom didn't believe us. I was so determined not to go back down there I took a couple of spankings with the belt cause my mom thought I just didn't want to do what she told me to do.

Wow!!! Don't know where all this is coming from....but thanks for letting me vent guys....

[ToMyHealth]

I'm home!!! Wow, 12 days gone is a long time.can't wait to sleep in own bed. Working on unpacking because if I don't do pretty much right away, it can go on for days. Another Flylady concept - Do It Now. Got all On Hold mail opened.

Laundry - do one load a day, if needed. To completion, folded & put away.
Ah, Blue what a sad story....

Ok, AF days here we come! I am actually excited about it. Pink X already on calendar!

TMH

[frances]

OK. I'm going to try doing one load of laundry a day to completion. Starts today! Let's see how it goes!

Blue, I hear stories like that and I just never understand how people mistreat other people that way. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

[Lizann]

OK. I'm going to try doing one load of laundry a day to completion. Starts today! Let's see how it goes!

Blue, I hear stories like that and I just never understand how people mistreat other people that way. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Blue, very sad. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Frances, keep us posted on the laundry! Is it just yours, or do you have a family?
My son is in Switzerland for the summer, my oldest daughter is married. I'm doing laundry, for my husband, my other daughter and myself, plus it's summer. Not too much laundry.

[frances]

Hi Lizann - I have a husband and two teenagers - a son 16 1/2 and daughter 15. they are into sports (softball and baseball) and so I have very dirty uniforms to wash on top of all of the other stuff. During the season there are multiple games a week and on weekends. It's hard enough just keeping up with that let alone all of our other clothes! The kids do their own but not unless I nag nag nag! Fall will be better than summer season which just ended but it will still be busy. And my daughter will be in field hockey starting this week, with very sweaty smelly clothes every day from practices and games.

This school year I plan to have a new rule that no social activities until chores are done - whatever that is - laundry, clean room, etc. - we'll see how I do with keeping to it.

[blue1]

yes on all accounts!!

Sam- so if you like living sheltered that's ok.

[blue1]

Morning guys!

I failed at AF Monday....but hey...I can and will have AF Tuesday!

The anxiety kicked in early and it wasn't a craving or anything thing. Just that over anxious feeling too full...hot and cold at the same time.

I was cooking dinner when hubby came home from work and he brought home beers. I was soaked and wet cause it was so hot....and when I saw that beer....I knew my AF day was over.

I had one while I was cooking and one with dinner. That was it. I could have had more but I didn't. I drink brandy and beer....but brandy is my favorite.
There was a little brandy left from the weekend but I didn't touch it...I had put that away yesterday morning for my hubby. He drinks both two...but he favors the beer.

I still didn't sleep well cause I was totally sober by bedtime....no wait...I was totally sober period. Two beers don't do anything for me...but I like the taste and it settled the anxiety down for a little while. But it came right back.

So....happy AF Tuesday modders!

Have a successful day!!!

[ToMyHealth]

Blue, my goodness I came on to say the same thing. WTHeck? My dh came home & said didn't I recently see a t-shirt saying "it's 5:00 somewhere", I'm having a drink. We had 2, and a steak dinner, and during whole time I thought about the dang pink X. I set myself up by not telling dh of my AF plan. Not his fault, totally mine. All I have to do is express my intent.
Tonite I am having a nice tall glass of low sodium V8 with a lime!!!

TMH

[blue1]

Wow TMH....I was thinking about your x....like maybe I should have put my AF circle on the calendar in advance....lol...we'll get it together! Two beats the heck outta twenty!!! Lol

[blue1]

Oh...yea...and same on my end....hubby is totally supportive.

[blue1]

I might not be able to get online for a few days....but please don't stop posting cause I will definitely want to know what was going on lol

[frances]

Hey everyone. count me in for lots of AF days - I'd like to go the rest of the month. I've been feeling like I want al more lately and I don't like that feeling. I haven't been giving in though!

I'm gonna go get some tea. Weirdly the weather is starting to cool a little and that's what sounds good to me tonight.

Hope all are doing well!

[ToMyHealth]

Success for me! It felt wonderful. By 7p dinner was done, kitchen cleaned, & I went out for a walk. I swear, daily drinking is just a nasty habit. Went to bed at 10:00, woke up at 2:00a, watched Grace Unplugged. It's a feel good type movie that made me cry a lot through it. Don't know if no alcohol had anything to do with that. Read for a bit, went back to sleep at 4a, set alarm for 7a and discovered alarm clock was set at CST so woke up at 8a.

Frances, good for you wanting to go for entire month. Do you count days?

Coffee tastes great! Going to go for a run/walk, then get ready for hospital volunteer shift. It is so nice to feel happy and proud of myself.

TMH
Day 2

[frances]

Hi TMH - I keep a spreadsheet where I track any time I drink. I don't really count days but I can look there and see all of the details any time I want. My intent (and I've been pretty successful) is to only very rarely drink - only a couple of times a month if that. Just when there is an occasion where I'd like to but never when I'm just sitting at home.

Because I was on vacation for two separate weeks in July, I had a drink on more days than not during those weeks and I think that has affected my mindset. Still only one drink at a time though so nothing majorly concerning there (and no desire to have more). But prior to that I had been doing just fine and not having drinking thoughts when I was at home, etc. and just having one drink every 2-3 weeks or so when the occasion came up. But after vacation I've noticed, especially the past couple of nights, that my brain might be starting to think back to the 'old days' when I had several glasses a night! So I think I need another long string of AF days to make sure I don't go back there.

I'm really trying not to kid myself because I've tried moderating before unsuccessfully - in those cases I think there were a couple of key differences: 1) I didn't have enough AF time under my belt. This time I had 9 months. 2) I went directly right back to drinking regularly but just trying to drink less quantity. Well that didn't work at all. So now, I'm trying just having one drink on a very rare occasion. It's been going very well. Averaging only about 3 drinks a month (sometimes more, sometimes none at all) with one drink per occasion usually, and rarely two. Never more. This has been going on for seven months and I know it is entirely possible that it could fall apart. I don't want that to happen and so I am paying very close attention. Thinking I have it under control now is very dangerous and that's what I found myself thinking the other day when I was feeling the pull. I found myself thinking that I have been doing so well limiting myself, yada yada yada....Well, if I go ahead and have one every time I want it, and I'm wanting it more and more, where will that lead me? Right where I was when I came here in the first place!