I don't want to be totally AF......,

[blue1]

Today I'm feeling pretty stressed. My teenage daughter has been dealing with a group of girls that are treating her meanly and she is doing her best not to let it get to her, but it is. I just want to intervene and yell at the girls and tell their parents what jerks their daughters are being and how truly hateful and malicious they are, but I can't do that. I am so saddened that she is the one they are targeting and she has no idea what she did to make them act this way toward her. One treated her badly last year and my daughter decided not to be friends with her anymore, but they were at least sort of civil to each other (they play on the same sports team). But now, that girl and her 'followers' are not being civil and they are being downright malicious. Anyway it's heartwrenching to see her so confused and hurt. I wish I could help her. I know for myself if someone was treating me badly and there was no reason for it (in fact I've been there a couple of times), I obsess about it and wonder what the heck I did. But it is all a waste of time because there will always be people who decide to hate and there is nothing you can do differently to make them change. Their change has to come from themselves, it has nothing to do with you. Anyway, I needed to vent. I dropped her at a true friend's house this evening, and they are making brownies so maybe that will cheer her up. I'm glad to be able to come here and get that off of my chest, I needed to do that - and I was thinking for the first time in ages that I wanted a drink (due to the stress of thinking and worrying about this) and I am not going to do it. I'm going to make a cup of tea. Because if I go down that path of drinking for these types of things, I might go back to drinking for just about anything, and I don't want to do that...I don't trust myself enough yet to let myself drink now even though probably a 'normal' drinker might do that. Anyway, again, just venting. Gonna go make that cup of tea.

Blue, this problem is so small compared to what you are going through. I am thinking of you and my heart goes out to you.

Frances I really want to thank you for all your support...you are such a positive person!!!!! VENT ALL YOU WANT!!!!! I will be praying for you guys too....I know you want to get those mean A$$ girls....I would like to join you! Glad she has a true friend that's there for her. Does she have to be around those girls?

[blue1]

Today I'm feeling pretty stressed. My teenage daughter has been dealing with a group of girls that are treating her meanly and she is doing her best not to let it get to her, but it is. I just want to intervene and yell at the girls and tell their parents what jerks their daughters are being and how truly hateful and malicious they are, but I can't do that. I am so saddened that she is the one they are targeting and she has no idea what she did to make them act this way toward her. One treated her badly last year and my daughter decided not to be friends with her anymore, but they were at least sort of civil to each other (they play on the same sports team). But now, that girl and her 'followers' are not being civil and they are being downright malicious. Anyway it's heartwrenching to see her so confused and hurt. I wish I could help her. I know for myself if someone was treating me badly and there was no reason for it (in fact I've been there a couple of times), I obsess about it and wonder what the heck I did. But it is all a waste of time because there will always be people who decide to hate and there is nothing you can do differently to make them change. Their change has to come from themselves, it has nothing to do with you. Anyway, I needed to vent. I dropped her at a true friend's house this evening, and they are making brownies so maybe that will cheer her up. I'm glad to be able to come here and get that off of my chest, I needed to do that - and I was thinking for the first time in ages that I wanted a drink (due to the stress of thinking and worrying about this) and I am not going to do it. I'm going to make a cup of tea. Because if I go down that path of drinking for these types of things, I might go back to drinking for just about anything, and I don't want to do that...I don't trust myself enough yet to let myself drink now even though probably a 'normal' drinker might do that. Anyway, again, just venting. Gonna go make that cup of tea.

Blue, this problem is so small compared to what you are going through. I am thinking of you and my heart goes out to you.

Hope you didn't drink....and enjoyed your tea!

[blue1]

Wow, I was going to check-in with something, but it is nothing compared to what I see. Frances, kids are mean, especially teenage girls...that really sucks. blue, yes, that is unsettling news. I had a friend a couple of years ago that fell to the same fate, and, I just need to be blunt and honest, he didn't make it.

I feel embarrassed to share what I have. I went to the Yankee game with some grad school friends. Yes, I did drink and feel sluggish today. I went to my therapist today and we were talking about a whole bunch of things. I have this one class which is a personal development class, which is good, but sometime the professor has this "if you haven't made the right decisions by forty your doomed vibe," sometimes... anyway, we were talking about how you get older, it;s hard to simply go with the flow... taking care of yourself becomes even more important. That's what I was thinking about this morning, which is probably the them of my last several posts... you'd think I'd learn by now.. lol

j.

Yeah Stew....it is very scary! But I keep reminding myself that we can't change anybody but ourselves....and even that doesn't work sometimes.
I am nowhere near where I won't to be....but I just keep trying! But I refuse to beat myself up about it....live is too short....and I feel like if I give up the things that I enjoy and most of the time makes me and die unhappy....I'LL BE PISSED!!!! So.....one day at a time!

[frances]

Hi there - yes, the tea was very good thanks for asking. It wasn't the same as AL, but it calmed me down. I worried about the situation all last night and today too. My daughter seemed better last night after spending time with her friend, and she seemed OK when I picked her up today. Yes, she has to be around the mean girls because they're on the same team (so she wants to quit but she knows that would be a victory for them so I really hope it doesn't come to that!). I got to talk to a friend of mine who I knew had similar issues with her daughter, so that helped too, and she had some good advice. Teenage girls can be truly horrible people. Of course grown ups can be too and I guess maybe the ones who are horrible as teens grow up to be horrible...I wonder if that's true...I wonder if there's any study of that and how that would be identified. Like a survey sent to people...were you a terrible person as a kid and then another question - are you a terrible person now? how would they answer that? LOL!

Stew - I know what you mean about changes as you get older. It's hard for me because I honestly was such a partier. Give me a drink, and another, and another, PLEASE! And now I pretty much don't drink. And I kind of feel grown up now (I turn 50 this month by the way LOL) more than I have before. It's a good feeling. And not ever regretting when I don't drink is also good (in fact I don't regret when I do now either because it's so rare and I never overdo it). Anyway I hope you can get there!

And Blue - I totally see where you're coming from about not giving up things you enjoy. Usually when folks come here to quit or even to moderate it's because it's not enjoyable anymore, or that at least it's more NOT enjoyable then it is enjoyable. You know? But if you don't feel that way but just want to cut back for health or other reasons, I totally understand your attitude. I hope your sister's doing better.

I'm having a tough week with work and my daughter's stuff. Glad today's hump day!

[Stewarts]

blue, good points, I started coming here because things weren't fun anymore. It wasn't that i was getting so wild (like in my youth) and doing crazy things, it was the getting tired and being sick and tired.

So, last night I thought I was doing good, but then a woman had to come into the picture (and not my gf). I went to an event, then out with some of the young guys from my office, just to gave a few beers and I was kind of tired. One from another shop who I know well met us. He was happy to see me, said I looked a little out of it, and responded with, "Nah, I'm just kind of tired." which was the truth. Then next thing he said didn't suprirse me, he offered me some cocaine. I laughed and said, "Nah, I'm good, definitely want to sleep tonight." I don't mess around with stuff like that anymore, I haven't for a long time. The last few times I did, and it wasn't even a lot, made me real sick the next day. I said to my friend, "I'm sure these guys wouldn't mind a little pick-up." The other guys were more his peer group, I was the oldest there at 40. He laughed and said, "f#$% these clowns, you definitely any time, but screw these tools," we had a laugh about that. One of the kids in my office started getting friendlier with him, which didn't surprise me, they were cut from the same cloth, so he got "hooked up".

I was good and left and got home at a good hour and about to settle down, until my phone started getting texts from this young girl I used to well, just sleep with, really, we never really dated, just fbs I guess. She was having all these trust-fund baby problems after turning "29" and being all depressed, and her mom making her crazy, etc. I agree to meet her out if it's near my place. You all know where this is going. I'll just cut to the chase, we're eventually back at my place. She is resistant and keeps telling me that I have a girlfriend (which I do), but I of course I lie and say I don't. I did have a a few beers when I was out with there. Eventually, we get to bed. She lives in the village, so I told her she could stay, but she said she called an uber and would go home. I was actually relieved. I shouldn't have had sex with this girl, let alone let her stay over. But by now it is 2:30 in the am. I have no regrets. My gf doesn't live with me yet and if this relationship is going where I think it is, she's going to be with me for a very long time - which I guess is good, it's in my nature to have fun before that, I guess.

I woke up ok, a little later than I wanted to. I went for an amazing 5 mile run around lunch time. Now, well, I am just beat! No anxiety, no mental issues, just beat... I am going to be like such a log when i get to my gfs place tonight, I hope she's not pissed.. hahaha..

getting old sucks

[blue1]

I keep losing my post!!!!!!
But...my sister is dying.....and I'm VERY sad.....tipsy...and pissed that I lost those post!!!!!!
Please keep us in your Prayers.....

[blue1]

My other sister and my sister's boyfriend got into it in front of my sister and she was crying....he is foul!!!!! He talked about wiping her A$$...changing her diaper....getting a new girlfriend all in front of my sister!!!! That's how him in my sister almost got into it!!!

[blue1]

They didn't...and I'm glad...because we all would have been fighting.
Who acts like that after 21years of being together?????

[frances]

That sounds horrible Blue. I also thought it was horrible when you said that he must be the one getting her the alcohol that she's been drinking. I will be praying for you and your family.

[frances]

Just wanted to add a suggestion for you not to drink AT this problem...I know it is very difficult...for me and everyone else I know, drinking at a problem never helped anything. I would always wind up hungover and feeling sick and the problem hadn't changed one bit.

[Dutch1988]

Good luck blue, sounds like a pretty shitty situation. I hope it gets better for you!

[Stewarts]

Not that I should be talking, but for what it's worth, yeah, it sounds like you should stay away from AL. Your last few posts seemed a little erratic and I think you may have said you were drinking. That whole situation just fuc#$in sucks! They say during times of stress or crisis you see someone's true colors, unfortunately it looks like you're seeing your sister's bf's.

[ToMyHealth]

Blue, been thinking about you and hope things have settled down. How awful to have to witness all that esp for your sister.

Had one of those days yest where I think.....would it had been fun if not drinking? Went to a new place with friends. Sat outdoors amongst palm trees & crazy posters, sayings such as "don't eat yellow snow", a band playing but not so loudly that you couldn't talk, prize drawings and squirt gun fights, lots of silliness. Over a 3 hour period we all had a Bloody Mary and 2-3 beers plus a large mid afternoon lunch. Fish tacos made with grouper, Yum! Now had I been a driver I could not have that much. 200# husband? Believe he was fine considering his large cheeseburger & fries plus a good 3+ hours. But I think about that. I'm not sure my personality is such that I could drink NA beer or coke and enjoy. As dh says I was never a high school sophmore!

Not real important....but since this is the Mods thread this is sometimes where my mind goes when I consider quitting for good. Anyone else? Oh, BTW got home & drank water, did not even consider more alcohol. But is that always the case? Nope.

[paulywogg]

:hug::hug:Blue,hugs sweet lady,sheesh sounds a really sad situation, keep your head up hon

[blue1]

:hug::hug:Blue,hugs sweet lady,sheesh sounds a really sad situation, keep your head up hon

Thanks guys! Yeah I was tipsy when I was posting but not over the top...I started posting short post because I had lost this very long post...and I was scared I would loose more so I would type a little and hurry up and and post lol

Well my niece sent the paramedics to myself sister's house and she agreed to go to the hospital....they are doing dialysis today and discharging her tomorrow....so we just have to see if she will go on her own on Wednesday...praying she does....I'm going to try to get over there to help her get ready if she'll let me. She's so weak maybe that's why she hasn't been going....