Friday 18th April

[Seen the light!]

Morning everybody!!

Looks like I'm the first one on again - come on you Brits see if you can beat me to it next week!

It's the start of Day 5 for me and I'm feeling OK - this is the testing time for me now - I've said it before but if I can get over a weekend AF it will feel like such a big achievement - Fingers crossed I'll do it.

My mother - in - law said she's calling tonight (she likes to drink) and she'll be expecting me to offer her a drink so I will - a big hot steaming cup of coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just wondering if anyone had tried AF beer - I noticed in the supermarket yesterday they do Becks AF beer and wondered what it was like - I thought it might help to stop me caving in over the weekend.

I'd best go for now - hope you all have a great weekend xxxxxxxx

[Janice]

Friday 18th April

Morning Seen, you beat me again!!! Good you can start the thread off early - I'm back at work next week and won't be able to get on until tea-time :upset: Just how will I last???
Don't focus too much about it being the weekend Seen, try to treat it like any other day.....I have to remind myself now that it is the weekend and to make sure theres enough wine in for my husband. Not long ago...enough wine in??? I would probably have been able to give you the exact measurement!!!! Well, actually there wouldn't have been any wine left!! Get a plan worked out, eg your mum in law calling.

Hi to everyone else following today...yesterday was a very busy thread and interesting to re-read.

I totallty agree that no-one can say they will NEVER drink again but this takes us back to the old "Abstinence Pledge or ODAT" topic which I thought long and hard about at the beginning of my 52 days.

Personally, and this is personally, I need commitment/discipline in front of me and ODAT does not give me that. It says to me "I'm not drinking today but I might drink tomorrow" and then I still have drinking thoughts going on in my head. I HOPE never to drink again and there is a sort of acceptance in my head now, who knows but something has definitely worked for me this time round as it has been easier than last year when I approached my first Af spell as "just doing 30 days" and the second as "ODAT".

I can relate to what Kathy said about doing her grieving whilst she was still drinking and that when it ended she was completely sure that it needed to end. I am also completely sure that my drinking needed to end.

I suppose we just have to do it in our own way and approach it in a way that works best for us personally.

Got guests for dinner this evening.....so doing lots of preparation today. I've got stocked up with my little tins of tonic water, and a bag of lemons...the ice is in the freezer so thats me sorted!!! I'm off to make a pavlova now!!

Jaded - just wanted to say that I too always fall asleep to the cds..mainly because I do them when I get into bed late at night and its far too late! I think I read somewhere that if you wake up when he counts back down to zero at the end, then it has still worked..but I always wake up in the middle of the night to silence where my ipod has switched itself off!! Got to set some time earlier in the day because they really do help to keep me positive ...not just about drinking, but life in general, they're good for the soul!!!

Have a great day everyone



Janicexxx

[wantrealmeaning]

Friday 18th April

Morning Seenthelight, you early bird you.

Well done on day 5, you'll make it over the weekend, make sure you get the coffee out for mother-in-law. Even though I'm at day 10 I wouldn't put myself around alcohol and I'm not going to until I get to my 30th AF day, I think by then I might be safe enough to be around drinkers without slipping, right now I'm avoiding it like the plague. I really admire peoples strength and conviction who have drinking partners, I know I couldn't do it, I'd have to ask them to leave for a bit :H.
I've never tried any AF beers or wines, I'm scared they might trigger me, plus I only drink for the buzz and to get drunk so I don't see the point. I know that some people have tried them and think they're ok, I'm sure they'll let you know.

I've got my alcohol addiction appointment today at 1pm, this will be my 3rd, I go every Friday. The lady I see is very nice and I feel a good raport with her. I haven't done my homework, I've meant to have been keeping a journal, but I've been so busy inside and out I haven't got round to it, I've bought a note pad so got no excuse really . I'm definately starting it next week, the kids are back at school then aswell so I'll def make time for it. I'll tell you what else I'm gonna do and that is write a letter to AL, that's a brill idea Det.
I made 6 trips to the rubbish tip yesterday, me and my daughter even managed to get my green waste bin in the car (2 men at the tip struggled getting it out :H) so I can carry on with my gardening. Still got a couple of trips to make today, all this clearing out has been a great help in keeping me AF, It's also been symbolic and theraputic, what with my south beach diet, it's like holistic cleansing.

Ok, waffle over, sorry if I've bored anyone, just feeling good and want you all to know .
I want to say hello to everyone so here goes,

Hi Seenthelight, Janice, Mary, Cindi, Lorelei, Det, Vinophile, Aquamarine, Mohun, Youngatheart, Jaded, Beck and Renegade, hope you all have a lovely day and an even better weekend.

love to you all
want
:h

[maasai]

Friday 18th April

hie seenlight, if you do want to sleep stay away from slippery place, and if you sober up a cow or a horse thief, all you will have is a sober horse or cow thief, that means he can still go and steal the cow or horse, i would encourage you not to go for the AF beer. you can do without it.

[charlee]

Friday 18th April

Morning all
This is what is great about this place.....different strokes for different folks!!!..We are all on this journey together....what works for some, may not work for other's....we share our failures, our successes...what we find works for us, and does not.........all leading us down the path of sobriety....
A good weekend Seen the light, Janice,Wantrealmeaning, Massai and all to follow.

[retteacher]

Friday 18th April

I'd really like to comment on the ODAT vs. total committment discussion. For me, the daily "I won't drink today" is necessary. I'm not on auto pilot yet. I have to ask for strength every day. I don't think the daily pledge to myself will be as necessary after a lot of AF time. That said: I'm a definite candidate for never drinking again. I don't drink normally nor will I ever drink normally. When I have a slip, I don't ease back into drinking. I go right back into drinking alcoholically.

I'll check back later. Mary

[newbegining]

Friday 18th April

Morning everyone.
Interesting that we all have the same struggle with stopping or controlling the drinking.

I have tried so many ways to moderate and know in my heart that it will never work for me.

Janice, I relate so much to what you say about being "ready to stop". A good friend of mine a few years into her recovery has told me that reaching that point was the hardest part. After she made the decision to STOP and accepted no more trying to moderate, control, cut back.... life immediately got easier.

Best wishes for a good sober weekend everyone.
New (day3) (again)

[Lorelei]

Friday 18th April

Today is day 4 for me. Day 4 and Fridays in themselves have always been a problem in the past but this time I have prearranged a crisis call with one of my girlfriends. I've taken my supps but they are dangerously low, especially the Kudzu, so I'm hoping to see them soon. One thing that is going to help me stay away from Al is that I start a course of antibiotics today for a infected cyst I have on my right breast. This is the second course I'm on for the little bugger. On May 9th I get it surgically removed but they can't remove it while its infected lest they spread the infection. Luckily its just a skin thing and nothing to get freaked out about, though I did when it first popped up in February. I've had a mammogram and an ultrasound so they know its non cancerous. Apparently the surgery will leave a scar so my walking around topless days are over. (j/k)

[Cinders]

Friday 18th April

Lorelei,

Perhaps you could do something time consuming tonight where alcohol is simply not an option?

Go to a movie?

Fill the time up with something distracting so the time flies by?

Just a thought.

Cindi
XXXIV

[july232007]

Friday 18th April

Seen the light,

I think alcohol free beer is a great substituite. You can participate without compromising your AF commitment. I don't think there is a slippery slope involved. It is the alcohol that gets us in the I'll just have one more loop trouble.

I too have thought a lot about ODAT and the I'll never drink again approach. It is truly a personal decision and the same thing does not necessarily work for each of us. I respect the ODAT approach but I needed to make a deeper personal commitment/risk not to drink. I needed to say to myself that I would not drink and that I was willing to risk failure at a deeply personal level with this commitment. I did not make the decision easily or lightly. Hell, I tried to moderate my drinking for many years.

For me the point that got me over the hump was being able to say to myself that I will not drink. 30 days AF last summer was goal one. Life abstention is goal two. Without this stark reality I was going to find an excuse to reward myself or celebrate something with a few beers and I knew it.

Now I consider myself a nondrinker and the wiring in my heard has changed. It was a difficult decision and it is a challenging process. But the reward of an AF life is truly worth the effort for me. I could give you many examples but I'll just jot a short one here.

I can look at my own face in the mirror in the morning and know I have achieved something worthwhile. I can kiss my kids goodnight and know I am giving them a better start in life. I can look at my wife anytime and know that through my sobriety I am honoring our commitment to each other.

It is Friday abbers and a good day to be AF.

July

Day 268 AF

[rustop61]

Friday 18th April

Hi everyone

Thanks for sharing that with us July. It's people like you that make this site such a great place. We all want to walk in your shoes and feel as you do and please God we will.

Seen, I have tried the Becks AF beer and find it really good. My hubby drinks and I find it useful at week-ends. You are drinking something with a taste and it keeps me away from the wine. Also one, two max is enough.

Have a great week-end everyone. I'm off to a confirmation party but am picking up one of my daughters later tonight so the perfect excuse to remain AF.

Rustop

[Lorelei]

Friday 18th April

cindi;312360 wrote: Lorelei,

Perhaps you could do something time consuming tonight where alcohol is simply not an option?

Go to a movie?

Fill the time up with something distracting so the time flies by?

Just a thought.

Cindi
XXXIV

I am starting to plan my evening. My first plan is to find a local meeting so I can get my "out" time without alcohol. I may or may not do this as I have been very sleepy lately, probably due to laying off Al. I have been finding it very difficult to concentrate at work because all I want to do is sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day so I will probably just curl up with a bowl of popcorn and watch some movies at home. And of course pop on the boards to check in. What I keep forgetting is that I have a wonderful support system both here and in my friends and family.....I just have to remind myself ALOT that this is not a solitary battle and that I have some great people to lean on that wish nothing more than for me to succeed. Al has stolen alot of my self acceptance thereby making me think that others couldn't accept me as well. Friends and family have been waiting patiently for me to pull my head out of my ass and see how much I am loved. Its overwhelming sometimes and often I don't feel as if I deserve it, that's where the abstinance will come in handy. As my head clears I hope to be able to see things as they really are.

[Nellie]

Friday 18th April

day 5

Hi all, I am working on day 5, and I am so glad you are all around! I am going away for the weekend to NYC with my hub, so there won't be a lot of time for AL, although there's always dinner on Saturday night which is a worry. I'm aware I need ODAT because I am afraid that I will be the person who says she'll only have one and then dives in for a lot more! My husband is supportive, so that's a great gift, but all those near me are social drinkers or hard drinkers, and I am sure I will have many days of challenge ahead. But I have today, and after reading all of your posts, I am sure it will be easier to be AF. Thanks to all for being available, and have a great weekend.:thanks:

[Beck]

Friday 18th April

Morning,

Wrote a long post got bumped off - HATE that.

What I like about MWO is that we all get to find our own way with the support and advice of others. Personally, I needed the AF commitment. First goal was AF for lent (50 days). I keep kicking the can down the road as I'm on Day 75 today

AF beer is always a hot topic. I have some in my fridge and once I just know I would have caved if it wasn't there. I would have chosen the real beer that is in the fridge. Yep, dangerous to have in house but husb has no problem and it's his. But happily it is in the fridge on the back porch and I don't have to look in there very often.

Would like to welcome Nellie and am with Janice that should treat Friday as just another day - I know easier said than done.

Be well friends,
Beck

[aquamarine]

Friday 18th April

Hi Everyone. Getting on late again, couldn't get online earlier. I really love hearing everyone's perspective on how they approach ODAT/never drinking again. It is so helpful and insightful to hear from everyone. We really can learn from each other. I know that I have to be AF for life. But still when I think of it I can't help but feeling overwhelmed. In the past when I would "slip" then it would be like all or nothing and I would get really discouraged and have a hard time restarting. So now I guess I do a combination, kind of take it day by day with the goal in the back of my head to be forever but not thinking too hard about the future until I have more AF time behind me. Off to a Red Sox game tonight with friends who are planning on drinking. I am driving and shouldn't have a problem. I already told them I can't drink because of my migraines. They have no idea about my problem and probably would be shocked. Hope all goes well for everyone tonight. Take Care and Stay Strong, Aquamarine