July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I'm up early, but I'm surprised to be the one to start this thread. It's good to be home, & last night I got some quality sleep. Crossing many times zones is exhausting (as those of you who travel for a living must know for sure). The biggest bonus is that I didn't come down from the trip & the exhaustion w/AL. That was my pattern.

Yesterday, I got back into my daily life & didn't feel any desire for AL at all. When I thought about drinking, it was to be grateful that I don't do it. I told my brother & SIL that I no longer drink (wo/going into specifics as to why). It felt good just to acknowledge the fact that I like to stay clear-headed & self-possessed instead of bleary & confused. There's no contest (between sober & drunk) when it's put like that.

I'm having some people over for dinner on Sat. We'll be serving wine, & I'm going to be totally prepared in advance. I want to be able to be around mod drinking wo/giving in...especially in my own house.

Take care everyone. I'll try to check in later.

Mary

[Cinders]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Hi, Mary!!

As you know, a plan is important when these events are coming up. I buy AF beer (because I hate the AF wines) and pour it into a glass with a lemon. I have no idea why it works but it helps me. It is funny because I really don't like beer.

Otherwise, I drink iced tea. I love my iced tea. Southern girl thing. At least I don't sweeten it with sugar like I used to. When I think about how much sugar I used to drink in that tea, it gives me the shivers.

Hope all to come have a great day.

Love,
Cindi

[charlee]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Morning all
Seems like alot of us have such a busy summer, Mary welcome back!
Cindi, I have a picture in my mind of you sitting on your front porch, brimmed hat, sipping that tea!!!...Nice thought, but seeing that sports car of yours, maybe the tea is in a water bottle, as you roll down that top and put your pedal to the metal...why do I think its the latter...lol
Busy, busy....Italy is just 2 weeks away and my "to do" list is getting longer and longer!!..I have a packing issue, and even though Beck was kind enough to forward me "tips"...I can't seem to get it!!!
Hope everyone has a great day!!!

[Doggygirl]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Mary you sound like it was a good trip but it's good to be home. I can understand the pain of time zone adjustment - I had a really hard time with that when I used to travel a lot on business. Even an hour difference bothered me - I have no clue how people that have to travel a lot globally do it! Best wishes for your dinner party on Saturday. I'm sure it will be lovely, and I KNOW you will do well not drinking wine even though you plan to serve it. I tried my first AF wine last night. It was the Fre White Zin. As others here had mentioned, I found it WAY too sweet by itself. But I did enjoy about 1/2 and 1/2 with club soda, and a little crushed ice. I lemon slice would probably be good in there too. Just throwin' that out there! That is something I'm sure I'll do if I ever have wine drinkers at the house.

Cindi, I think I filled my lifetime beer quotient by college graduation, because I totally lost my taste for beer after that. It only tasted good to me in certain situations on a VERY hot day. For whatever reason, I did like the AF beer last Saturday even though the thought of a real beer was :egad:. (a good thing!) I'll have to try it with a lemon or lime next time!! I stayed away from the AF beer / wine thing for a long time, but I can see now that it's sorta nice to feel "grown up" even without the AL, if that makes any sense. Not that I worry what others think - LOL I'm WAY WAY too selfish for that!

Dad is doing better - posted more about that in Booze Busters. It was very nice to spend time with him and Mom yesterday afternoon with Dad being "all there" and able to communicate. He was in a good mood (maybe a little help from something in the IV bag??) and we laughed and had a nice time. We made a memory.

Today is Day 50 AFHF and Day 500 Nicotine free. I just think that's strange and fun that the numbers worked out like that. Tomorrow will be one year since my first MWO AF day. I wish I had done things differently, but progress has been made too.

Happy AFHF Thursday to all who are yet to come.

DG
:award: + ********************

[Beck]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Hi all,

Didn't think I'd be checking in today as I have company. She has taken the 4 big girls on an errand and I have the little girls (and one boy). I just spent an hour and a half raking my back "lawn" - new construction and the grass has taken in some places, not in others. Time to reseed.

My friend who is visiting is the last person I drank with before this sober period. She called her husband last night ( I drank with him too) and he asked if we had started drinking yet. I'm sure I cringed a bit as I hadn't mentioned my non-drinking. And before the bottle of wine was opened, the voice kept saying this would be the perfect time to see if I can just have one...I fessed up instead. Just said I hadn't had a drink in over 5 months and proceeded to have my AF beer while I cooked dinner for 11. I do have to say I was a bit jealous when I could tell the wine was taking effect. Oh well, tonight I get to not drink and cook dinner for 14 (and more drinkers). Char taught me to ask myself what the drink would accomplish...nothing good that's for sure.

Char, regarding the packing. The bottom line is that I have never been upset that I pack too little...only when I pack too much.

Cindi and DG, I have been drinking the AF beer and it does seem to help me. When this challenging period is over I will use sparingly.

DG glad your Dad is better - congrats on the 50 and 500 days!!

Cindi, happy you are feeling better. You gave some advice to a newbie the other day - told her she was playing with fire and to tell her husb to take the kids for a bit while she relaxed. Have to tell you it was the best advice I've ever read at MWO.

Okay, now I'm going to refinish some furniture (yes, I think that is fun!!!)

Beck

[Sheepish]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Wow Beck
Standing back and being able to ask yourself the question 'what the drink would accomplish'. With the added pressure of being the host to drinking friends- I have felt that 1000s of times and caved and felt bad about myself. You are my hero.
-Sheep

[Determinator]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Happy Thursdays ABlanders!

50 days for DoggyGirl!!!!! yeeeeeeehaw!!! woof wooooof!

well, I'm just glad to be home it was so smoky here last night we had trouble sleeping and it's been bothering our lungs. I cannot imagine what people with serious lung issues are doing about this...? yikes. My athsma used to bother me when I drank...probably all the sulphites in the wines these days.

anyhow, life is good and I wouldn't be dead for a thousand bucks! so there!

be well friends

[Cinders]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Wow,

What great posts.

Det. We would rather you not be dead, either.!!! We love you!!! :l
I hope the fires settle down soon.

Oh Beck. You are doing so well. Well, not well, AWESOME!!! You have kids over, a friend over you drank with AND YOU ARE NOT DRINKING!! I am totally impressed. TOTALLY. You are my hero!! (No, don't take that to heart, but you ARE!! )

Sheepish, Charlee (yes, I am a pedal to the medal kind of mama) and Mary,

I pray everyone has had and will have a glorious AF day. I have. I am happy and looking forward to Lenair. Love to all of you.

Cindi

[Pamina]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Hi all,

I just found out a friend of mine has died suddenly. She had a blood disorder, had been to hospital, had been discharged and then collapsed in the tube station. Just like that. All of 40-something years old. She's not on the planet any more.

The last time I learned of a sudden death it was an acquaintance through work. My then BF bought me something with Southern Comfort.

Tonight I walked to the group I was on my way to see and told them that if I was drinking, I'd want a stiff drink right now. Which in theory I did. I paused at the bar for a few seconds. Then I ordered a cranberry juice.

I feel very disoriented. But I'm not drunk. For some reason it was her time.

[Beck]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Pamina, I'm so sorry for your loss. I am also proud of you for not drinking. That is a tough one and you are handling it well. Be careful over the next week or so. I'm not sure if you know but many of us had a very tough time around day 60 - for me it was emotional rollercoaster time and the loss of your friend will exacerbate that. Me, I almost caved at Day 65 and for no good reason at all. Take care of yourself.

Sheep and Cindi, thanks for the kind words. I am beginning to think that my last drink may have actually been my last drink.

Beck

[1967]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

So sorry Pamina, death is a hard one to digest. It sounds like you are being strong, hang in there.

Tomorrow is day 14 for me. I feel I need to write it down. No one knows but me, and now whomever reads this thread. I'm relieved and don't want to have to start again. So I'm going to be firm.

Now, for the confession.
I was bad today, but it had nothing to do with alcohol.
Where I live the local people have the most obnoxious inferiority complex. They feel everyone must be respectful even when they are not. There is no common courtesy. Today I stopped to get gas on the way home from school (yes, I teach in a school.. it's summer okay? i'm on my own time!)
so this dork, in a big truck i might add, starts driving at me in the gas station. this is my clue that i better back up which i do. as i drive by he waves at me... i give him a big smile and i flip him off. not very mature i agree. i'm not sure what possessed me?

he jumps out of the truck and says did u flip me off? i said "no, don't be silly." he says "my woman told me you did!" so i say "really, well she isn't your friend and is trying to upset you!" (yup, I lied..) (( He goes back and asks her again... I swear!!!!!!haahahhahaa)
he starts yelling at me. i call him a coward and ask if he wants to fight? (i'm 5'1 & 115 lbs... this was supposed to make him laugh). he calls me a something or other white bitch... i said "so what, tell me something i don't know. if i'm a white bitch then your a black turd."
yup, again "really mature of me."

he keeps telling me "you pushy white bitch". i just smile at him..
after a while i tell him 'get over it, i have. so what.... i'm a bitch and i'm white... let's talk about something else."

i'm so lucky he didn't do something bad to me. everyone else at the gas station was laughing except him. what a scene. and i have red hair! i'll have to wear a hat for a while.

drunk or not... i'm still doing stupid things! now i have no excuses. i just loose all sense of decorum when pushed... this has been building for a while! i started it ... my bad. i am always surprised at how people can be so offended by things that wouldn't effect me. If somebody flips me off.. i think "oh well." I really upset his afternoon.

women here are expected to make food, babies, and be obedient not talk back to truck drivers.
i guess i better put that on my dry erase board so i don't forget again!



naughty nilly

[Tiny]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

sorry so brief... yay for DG ... plan to take more time to connect with all this weekend!

Mary, Beck, Det , Pamina, Cindi -- not sure if you realize how much I appreciate your posts

Sheepish & 1967 ... your posts too!

Simply put, I know I am not the only one who checks in daily and look to all of you for inspiration... g'night

[CS04]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

(Posted earlier on another thread)

Well, I keep letting more cats out of the bag. I had lunch with a girlfriend on Tues. and we really talked about the AL problem. I cried at the table. I also talked to another friend today -- both of these friends had alcoholic fathers who got sober thru AA, and all our hubbies are best friends. So now I feel like it's OUT THERE. I had my 14+7 days last month, but have been drinking a lot over the past coulpe weeks. When I got to contemplating life after a 30, I didn't know what to do, who to be or how to think...so I went back to the same old same old. Hubby is suportive of my wanting to "do something" but know if I ask him to get AL out of the house, he won't. I feel likeI have said all these things here before, and didn't want to tackle another 30 right now, but now that I have admitted to friends, I have to do something. I have shared many of these thoughts in chat, and stayin up late too which is not good. My sleeping is still a wreck. I guess I thought that I would do a 30 and then stick my tongue out and go "There! Ha ha!" but I didn't get past a couple of weeks, so now I haven't tried at all. I know this sounds fatalistic. I took Topa for about 2 months and am still taking some supps; some of it worked and some didn't. I know they are not magic pills but I kept saying earliier I am missing a piece. Maybe I need some different tools (the 1st friend is a big proponent of AA) and just have been floundering for what to do now. I feel like I need to get my shit together this summer, because that is the "time" I set aside for myself. Been very upset the last couple days ahd haven't talked to hubby. This weekend we are going out of town -- lots of beer involved, adn a fancy cocktail party back home here on Sat. so I don't want to tackle this over the weekend. Sorry if I am repeating myself but I just can't get my head together, and I wasn't getting the clarity I had hoped for during those AF days either. Blah.
__________________

[CS04]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

Tiny, how are you doing? Seems you and I were on the same trajectory a month or so ago. Things have been rough for me here but I think I am ready to try again. Stay in touch.

[Tiny]

July 10 - Thurs. - Daily Thread

CSO4 -- we need to chat and get a plan!!!!! We are on the same ridiculous cycle!