AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

[dill]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Thank you ALL for your warmth and encouragement. It is thanks to you all and to this site that I am gaining the ground that I am. I WILL KEEP GOING. I will save your words and refer back to them as needed. Which will be often! LOL!

[kitkatsue]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Dill,
When I found MWO I used to come here and read for inspiration, I believe I may have posted back then even though I had not reached 30 day AF, sad do to the loss of brain cells I can't remember, anyway the good folks here always make you feel free to post. I have yet to post on the guys forum HMMM !!

[Mohun]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Good morning. AFM, sorry to hear about the sick kid. But it does take me back. Glad mine are getting older.

Have a great day everyone.

Mo. Day 27.

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Hi all

Not been around much these last couple of days but still AF!!

AFM really sorry to hear about your sick child - I really feel for you - I am a real emetophobe (sickness phobic) can't stand being sick and can't cope with anyone else either. Am really lucky that my kids (3 and 4) have never had anything bad, to date, - but i'm sure it's only a matter of time - as there's so many nasty viruses going around.

Hi to everyone else too - presume you're back home now WIP - ready for your 2nd trip to Florida?

It's cold and dull here, no news really, getting quite fed up , really missing alcohol at the moment - am struggling a bit, not sure why as i felt much more positive last week - am quite worried actually - i'm nearing my world record - today is day 86 (world record 107 days AF) - hope I pick up soon. I'm worried i'm thinking about alcohol too much, trying to justify it with myself and I know this is a danger sign, as some of us were discussing last week.

Got to get my daughter ready for swimming -I'll be back later

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Sausage... if you want to stay AF.... do not allow yourself to think about, daydream about, or fantasize about alcohol! You are the only one who can control your thinking... and permitting positive thoughts about alcohol is a surefire road to relapse.... you can change the channel, re-direct your attention, move onto something else, remind yourself of your worst episodes of getting drunk.... or, you can fantasize about how nice "a drink" would be. The choice is always yours!

[Janice]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Hi everyone,

Just checking in......just spent 1hour 40mins in the dentist chair having the first part of my crown treatment!! Husband said he's getting me a paper-round to help pay for it!! (only joking but it is blinking expensive). I've also arranged a much needed hair appointment next week at a real posh salon that I haven't been to before. Feel that will do the old self-esteem a bit of good and besides, I'll need a treat by next week!!

Home alone tonight again but going to spend time on my meditation, reading and practising.

Sausage, I've pm'd you. Take a read of your old posts from when you got back off your hols (was it October???) and think about how sad you felt about drinking again after being AF for the majority of 08. You know you're not in this just to get past your "world record" and perhaps you need to stop counting the days so that subconsciously your mind is not waiting for that day to come so that you can resume drinking again - don't know if that makes sense??

What I do know is that I would give anything, absolutely anything to have my 120 days of sobriety back......I remember during that time, I would often tell myself how precious those AF days were and I was determined I wouldn't throw them away. Read, read, read - Chief did a thread a few weeks ago (think it was longterm abstainers??), the beast had been dancing around his head, it might be worth taking a look. You know you inspire me - sending you a big hug!

Will be back on later after I've had my soup!!!!!!

love Janicexxx

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Sausage: I'm going to weigh in here too on the drinking thinking. I've been there & done that. It is what led to my first lapse after I had gone from Nov. 07 to Mar. 08 AF. Sometime at the beginning of March 08, I started thinking about the fact that maybe now I could drink normally once in a while. I went through a series of lapses for the rest of 08. Some were pretty bad. One of the things I do now when I think I could drink is to remember some of my yucky drinking experiences. It de-romanticizes the whole experience. In my mind I go from the first heady sip to the hangover to the deceit to the getting rid of & replacing the bottle. It's insanity at its best & I want nothing to do w/it any more. Mary

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

hello friends--

Just catching up as I eat my lunch. Sausage, i wanted to say good for you for being honest here about how you have been feeling. Some good advice to get through this. Remember how crappy you'll feel if you do drink again.
This too shall pass....Hang in there! :h

[on my way]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

It is all still a daily struggle. I coast along, doing fine, then out of no where I am harpooned with a struggle. It is difficult not to romanticize the feeling of escape and the dump of tumultuous emotions when you get that first one down. Today has been a hard day and I am emotionally spent. However, I am choosing to run on my tread mill instead of hurt myself via vino. I know in my heart there is never just 1, so don't start.

Argh, off to the TM

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Good evening ablanders!

I've been planning and journaling today. Haven't accomplished much that's concrete but feeling calm and centred.

AFM - hope you child's feeling better. My drink from last night is called simply 'white grape and elderflower drink' made to sparkling water. It's a supermarket brand I got at Tesco's. Do you have them in Canada? Very yummy and eminently sippable.

Janice - you're sounding so strong and determined, good for you! And that posh salon is giving me ideas...

Sausage - what are you fed up with? what, in your mind's eye, would the drinking 'do for you' that you miss? how else can you address whatever you're fed up with? So many of us have written about how we reached the point around 3-4 months where we started asking 'now what'? We'd been sober for this length of time but it didn't mean that our lives had miraculously outgrown all their problems. Good for you for being fed up! Maybe you're not just fed up with the drinking. Maybe there's something else you need to be fed up with that's been obscured by the drinking. It needs to come out. You'll hear it better if you're sober.

(Stepping off the soapbox now to watch telly... G'nite all!)

[Cherbear]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Hi everyone,

Dill, remember we are all the same. battling the Monster that we want to kill, you stay the course with us! I've been working on being AF for a long time and had to restart a lot, but I'm trying to be positive because the negativity is what gets me started drinking again!!! Thats why i like this forum because everyone is trying to stay positive.

Stargirl CONGRATS ON 30 DAYS!! :goodjob:

Sausage, Boy, I can imagine feeling frustrated with the Monster rearing up after that length. Maybe you can think about how the voice isn't maybe as frequent?? and remembering the mind game of should I drink? if so can I handle moderation is exhausting!!!!!!!

Hope all is having a good day.:h

AF since Dec 26th 2008

[Beck]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Thought I'd say hello to those in Abland tonight...

So much AF time being accumulated here! Congrats to those who are reaching milestones.

Sausage, Pamina is right. Figure out what you are fed up with and decide what to do about it. In hindsight, it was much easier for me to quit drinking than it was to live my life knowing that I needed to quit drinking. I find that most things are easier to work on than they are to worry about.

Janice, you sound great. You can't go backwards but you can have a new and final first 120 days!

Nat, the treadmill was a good choice. When I am "romancing the drink" I just remember that I can go from "AHHH" to "Oh Shit" (I can't believe I've done this to myself again!) in like 30 minutes. Never my best option.

Mary, you sound better than you have in a long time. Congrats!

Best,

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

Hi all

I'm Ok - thanks for all your messages of support tonight everyone. I didn't drink - went out swimming instead around my witching hour, but I did find it tough and I am very aware that in the last couple of days or so i've been doing a lot of thinking about drinking and imagining moderating in my mind and I know this is VERY VERY DANGEROUS - last week's thread when we discussed this,( ie how relapses are planned rather than spur of the moment) has been very helpful to me as I know i'm on sticky ground and i've got to be careful.

I'll try and not count the days - I don't think it's helpful, I'll think long and hard about each of your suggestions, why I am feeling low, looking back on my earlier posts etc etc there's been some great advice here - at least i've identified i'm in a dangerous area - I know without MWO and everyone's support here, I would have caved by now. Thanks everyone, I'll stick with it and i'll be back tomorrow

Sausage xx

[blastercup]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

mixed bag today. I just had to say that i'm now 10 days off one year sober. I've done this alone and hard. I found this site at around 9 months when i was really struggling and reading some things helped me no end... (not reading all as there is a fair bit that is not helpful to me here). Some of you dont know but you helped me.. specially things that were said on this thread. Some people said things spot on and they dont seem to be here any more. But I'm here nearly at a year and I"m a happy person for it so thanks.
bc

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 27th

blastercup, that is awesome! Way to go!!

Pamina, thanks for the information on the sparkling water. We don't have Tesco, here; not sure about the rest of Canada. I am going to check into it though. I will look the next time I am at a grocery store. It sounds good. I am so bored of the coffee, water, tea thing. I can't drink soda; it just doesn't agree with me.

Sausage, hang in there honey!!! You will get through this.