AF daily - Sunday February 1st

[Marshy]

Hello all!

There's an icy wind here this morning - brrrr - and one of my heavy stone plant pots has just blown over outside with a thud. It's supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow.

I've got to spend a bit of time today sending out e-mails to hopefully drum up a bit more work. I'm working freelance and have been at a regular place since December, and am booked in until March, which is great and I'm really enjoying it, but there are no guarantees after that. I'm concerned that I've got all my eggs in one basket at the moment which ain't good with the economy as it is. I have already contacted loads of places over the past few months and had no luck so I'm running out of places to send e-mails to but have a couple of new leads to try.

I'm going to visit my parents for a few days tomorrow. They're both heavy drinkers and start in the morning and carry on all day. They're not falling-down drunks (unlike me haha:H) but it's a constant presence throughout the day and I have to resist it. And I WILL resist it but I don't find it very, erm, restful. Hey ho.

Hope everyone has a good day. Keep warm/stay cool wherever you are.

[SAUSAGE]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Morning Marshy and all to follow

You're right about that icy wind here in UK this morning - brrr it is bitter!! Hope we get some snow later, I live in south of England and my kids never really see snow. I was up at the swimming pool at 8.30 doing my 40 lengths - the water was lovely and warm, unlike the weather outside.

Well i'm doing a bit of a clear out of our study / office room which is a bit of a tip - did some yesterday and more today. Amazing how more motivated I am to live in a clean tidy and minimalist home (I wish!) - impossible with a husband like Mr Sausage who hoards everything and 2 very young children!!

I'll be back later - have a great day and a great sober February everyone !!

[Janice]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Hi Marshy.....yeh its really bitterly cold here too in the south-east. Going to get out for a walk before the snow starts. Marshy, hope the visit to your parents goes well.....its not easy when there's alcohol around us 24 hours a day.....I can relate, mam drank from very early on in the day. It got to the point where she would wake up and finish off the can next to her bed from the night before. Good luck drumming up future work...I agree, its a real worry the way things are right now. It is so sad to see many big names going out of business and where I live, there are many shops standing empty and boarded up, its not good.

Had a good evening last night watching a dvd - "Remember the Titans" with Denzel Washington, really enjoyed it. Which reminds me, hope everyone enjoys the Superbowl tonight........my husband and son watch it every Sunday but it won't start here till midnight so they're not sure if they'll be able to stay up with having early work commitments in the morning.

Have a great Sunday everyone, I'll be back on later to read your posts.

love Janicexxx

[Janice]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Morning Sausage, we cross-posted!!! You sound good! Have a great day,

Janicexxx

[Marshy]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Snnooooowwwing!!

Janice - one thing I find odd about my parents is that they never, ever mention hangovers, and some days, maybe most days, they must be feeling really rough because of the amount they put away, especially my mum. But there's a weird "never talk about it" approach to their drinking even though it's such a big part of their lives.

(DG - did you see what golden boy Phelps has been up to? 14-times Olympic gold medal winner Michael Phelps caught with bong cannabis pipe | News | News Of The World Imagine his lung capacity:H)

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Marshy;534891 wrote:
(DG - did you see what golden boy Phelps has been up to? 14-times Olympic gold medal winner Michael Phelps caught with bong cannabis pipe | News | News Of The World Imagine his lung capacity:H)

:H Guess we will have to find another swimmer to :yougo: for in 2012, eh? While we're on Mr. Phelps, that picture on the cover of Sports Illustrated with all of his medals looked like he was wearing some sort of dress at first glance. Thank you for kicking things off today and for February! Sounds like your parents drink very much like I used to drink. Yikes. Stay strong. Do you HAVE to stay for a few days??? I hope your search for work goes well. Mr. Doggy and I are in the same sort of boat with our business. So far we have been fortunate. Just when we think the phone will never ring again, some work comes along. It sure is scary though. I feel like we can't count on anything. I hope we can all survive until things are better.

At the end of yesterdays thread there was much talk of drink tracker and calendars and such. Stargirl, Mr. Doggy and I kept a calendar on the refrigerator in our kitchen and marked off each sober day. I think it was maybe 5 or 6 months when we finally were forgetting more than remembering to do it. That's a milestone all in itself when you start forgetting to mark it!

Sausage I'm glad your son likes my avatar! Dogs lead a wonderful life. They don't have to have propriety about anything. Drinking from the toilet is tame.

Janice was that movie good? I like Denzel Washington. Should I Netflix that?

I realized last night that it's the Steelers, not the Eagles in the Super Bowl with the Cardinals. Whew. Glad I realized in time! Don't tell anyone, OK? :H This will be the only football game we have really watched this year. Hope it's a close one and not a first half blow out. I'm rooting for the Cardinals who I understand are the underdogs.

Well, time to go wake up the doggies and let them out for a pee. Hello to all yet to come! Happy AF Super Bowl Sunday.

DG

[A Work in Progress]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Good morning, all! Gorgeous sunrise over the water again this morning at my house in Florida! It will be tough to go back home to Missouri on Tuesday... but I will be back, someday for good.

From the end of yesterday's thread, this is for stargirl and hulagirl: there is NOTHING lame or silly about the enjoyment and pride we get out of seeing those zeros on drinktracker, or stars on a calendar, or whatever (and it is a proven method for enhancing behavior change!)!! You shoulda seen all the stars and trophies and gizmos that DG used to put on her posts! Show them, DG!!

Marshy, I am self-employed, too, and have no idea how I will continue to be able to make a living. Business is very slow, and the competition is getting more and more willing to undercut my fees. I will probably give up the lease on my office in May... Most of my work does not require an office outside of my home office, and that part of it that does, has not been income-producing. So... it's time to cut as much of the fat out of my expenses, as possible.

I'm spending a fortune renovating this house, of course. I will probably end of penniless, but in a very nice house, fishing every day for my dinner, out on the seawall... the yard is plenty big enough to grow vegetables...

I was thinking about the debate on another thread about the "Sinclair Method" of using naltrexone, while drinking, to quit drinking. I doubt that the method itself is going to be anywhere near as wonderful as its supporters are hoping... but, either way, it occurred to me again: I am SO glad that I have finally gotten to the point where I just want nothing to do with alcohol. The biggest part of my mind and my heart are thoroughly convinced that it is something that I just do not want in my life any more. I have no desire to try to "mod," and no longing to sit around looking at this beautiful lake with a drink in my hand. I absolutely know, with no reservations whatsoever, that having "a" drink would not enhance any of my life or experiences. [I do sometimes have thoughts or impulses to drink, but they seem like leftovers from a life I have left behind. May they always seem that way!]

It took me so long to get here... I wish I knew how to help people to get to a mental/emotional place like this, without all the suffering that it took, for me...

[A Work in Progress]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Sorry: Hi Janice! And I cross-posted with DG... I'm a bit like you on the Super Bowl... I landed in Orlando and when the car rental place was incredibly busy with people talking about the Super Bowl, I thought that maybe they were holding it in Orlando? Had no idea it was in Tampa, much less who was playing...

[retteacher]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Hi Early Risers: Sunday morning & we're up w/the birds. I guess that's what happens when you don't have a hangover to sleep off. I do mark off my days. It's still a motivator for me. I'm sure I'll get to the point where I won't do it every day, but for now, I need the visual.

I don't long for a drink or think I can "mod." That's one thing I learned here at MWO. There is definitely no modding for me. As far as really wanting to drink, I do see that desire fading w/each passing day. We don't keep any wine in the house, so there are no reminders of days gone by. I just want to get to the point where a bottle of wine is just another thing in the fridge. Nothing tempting.

We're having a Sbowl party tonight. There is beer chilling, but that's never been a temptation for me. I'll check back later. I'm off to walk my dog w/my friend & her dog.

Mary

[dill]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

I just read over yesterday's thread and wanted to thank you Mary for your comments about your struggle last year, and DG, for your follow up. I had the feeling you were talking to me, although you were probably talking in general. You described my current situation, and now I have another perspective. Today will be a good day to reflect. It's the first day of a brand new month!

Have a good day, all!

[Loppy lugs]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Hi all,

Long time no post but... I can't describe how totally usless I feel.

Was at a black tie function last night, felt under pressure and I drank.

9 sodding months sober and the first time I try a big do without antabuse I didn't do it. That is one of the reasons I am so upset with myself it wasn't as if I couldn't, I just didn't.

Have taken some antabuse already so my slip won't turn into a relapse, but I am so disappointed in myself I can't stop crying.

Not really sure what to do next.

Sorry folks

[lilmea]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Good morning all,

I was cruising the net last night and I found a site that had a Change Plan Worksheet. I printed it off and plan on working on it today. It includes building motivation, coping with urges, problem solving, lifestyle balance. I guess it sounds funny to have to make a plan for sobriety. But it's been along time sense I've done anything sober so I guess I'm just trying to get a plan of action going.

Hope everyone here and who follow have a great day.

[lilmea]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

sorry loopy-cross post

[lilmea]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

loppy,
you went right back on your antabus and you came here. You had 9 months and everything you learned during that time hasn't been lost. There is a reason it's called recovery and not cured. Don't beat yourself up too bad. Hope things get better for you.

[Marshy]

AF daily - Sunday February 1st

Doggygirl;534893 wrote: Sounds like your parents drink very much like I used to drink. Yikes. Stay strong. Do you HAVE to stay for a few days???

I used to drink like that too, given the opportunity. I've never labelled myself as either a "binge" drinker or a daily drinker. I did both/any other pattern going. I just plain old drank. And I'm so glad I don't any more! Yeah, have to stay for a few days coz it's 200 miles away, I don't see them very often and I get guilted into staying longer than is maybe good for all concerned!

Wip, I'm loving the Sinclair stuff. It's a hoot! I just wish I'd thought of it first, then I could afford to retire early and lie on a Caribbean beach and not have to worry about finding work.