AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

[Guest]

:sun: :sun: :sun:


Good morning all, I thought I'd start the thread as I seem to miss the day and by the time I am here, the day is over!

I went on my surf trip, and I did put my pic on a wave as my avitor, but tried to change it so I am back to the "tube" where I have never been on a board, only in my dreams, well at least not yet.

I did well on my trip, but I did not choose to stay AF. With all the activities I could not go overboard. However, immediately upon arrival home, I am again AF and I am not going to beat myself up, just be proud of myself for how very well I am doing, putting those days behind me and going forward to more and more AF days, weeks, etc.....as the future looks bright.

I just wanted to say hi, and check in. I hope you, everyone of you, have a great day full of promises and hopes come true, positive movement forward in each and everyone of your own personal "Quests"

Good thoughts to you all and :heart::heart::heart: to be all you want to be today.

[speedster]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Morning Abbsters!

I've been reading the last couple days of posts. I'll get back in the swing of names soon.

To THatGirl, Mary and anyone else like me who is back in single digits, lets remember the mistakes are part of the learning process. The two times I tried 30 days, I think I was still secretly thinking I could still moderate.

Ocean - glad you had a great trip. Stay focused. Sounds like you're back on track quickly.
Mary, my heart goes out to you. I believe you will heal and make the most of what you've experienced.

My next 8 weeks are clear of major social events. That's as far ahead as I'm thinking.

I'm back to bike riding again, a sport that consumed a great deal of my life in the 90s - racing, etc. I became quite bitter about the rigors of working and training. I feel happier about riding again after stepping away and hiking a lot the last few years. I need to comment more about the pressure of riding and AL, but I need to get moving.

But now it's time to lose 10 lbs. I need to talk nicely to myself. I looked at myself in the mirror at the gym yesterday and was upset. Silly, I can turn this around in a few months.

Have a great day. I'll work on a more cohesive post next time.

[retteacher]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Thank you so much. I'm trying to put the whole experience behind me. I've got a day planned w/g-kids & friends. I hope that helps. Mary

[Cinders]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Good Morning Ocean, Speedster, Mary and all to come.

Things are going well for me in terms of AF, however, that is probably due to the fact that I am working on a new feature for the client and then off to IOP each night at 6:00 to 9:00, so my days are very very full.

Ocean, glad you got back here and on track so quickly.

Speedster, I understand on the secretly thinking you can moderate. Not sure why we think that when we have proven over and over again we can't, but it takes time to get to where you know you can't. Just keep trying and it will happen.

Mary, I am so glad to see you feeling a bit better. Yes, stay busy and enjoy the grandkids. They do help keep us grounded.

Everyone else, will read as you post and so glad to see so many here on this thread. It is great for sharing ideas.

Love,
Cindi

[greeneyes]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Morning Abbers!!

Thanks for your congrats yesterday. That praise goes a looooong way!

I'll lhave peppermint ice cream today as last night GF and I went to the drag queen show. I heard it was hilarious but it was wierd. They came out in dresses and all and would lip sync a song as they walked through the tables taking bills from outstretched hands. Not even doing anything racy or funny. And the song would go on FOREVER as they covered the whole room. Oh wait, one thing that was funny was the guy following them around to take the wad of bills from them when it got too big and he put them in a........... plastic trick-or-treat pumpkin head! LMAO!!!!! We left before it was over. It was easy to sit there with my soda and lime. GF had a coffee and Baileys and said she wasn't drinking as much. When I first told her I quit, she said she needed to cut back. Sometimes you can have a good influence without even trying!

Speedster, I have two bikes I need to get my arse on. I am so out of shape. But like with anything. I just have to start. When I raced (amature) I did so with a group of friends and we were pretty big partiers. We always drank after training and after racing. I always drank too much.

Ocean - good job on your trip. I did that after 9 days AF and thought I could handle it. Did well on my trip but went downhill when I got back. For a long time.

Mary, painful as it is, I really think there is a LOT of good in your experience.

Cindi, SO very good for you to be back!

Happy day all!

[AAthlete]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

speedster;551389 wrote: ...I need to comment more about the pressure of riding and AL, but I need to get moving.

Good morning all and Happy Hump Day to you!

Speedster, I used to be the king of coming up with excuses to drink while training. The race went really well; the race went really bad; that was an awesome workout - I should reward myself; my training sucks because I am drinking - I should have a drink. This list could go on ad nauseam.

For me, it all went back to thinking that I had to do things perfectly or not at all. I think that I was secretly sabotaging myself all along, because if I didn't have an excuse for not performing well then I really would be a loser (at least in my mind). I had to learn to let those expectations go.... and be happy with me just the way that I am. I have gotten there, to a certain extent. I will never be perfect at it , but that's okay now - I can accept it.

Anywho - have a wonderful day everyone. I hope you all have the power and strength to live up to your expectations today!

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Good morning to all in Ab-Land! From yesterday - hello to hula - I love your sense of humor that comes through in your posts. I thought of you this morning when I did yoga at your beach. (well, middle of the night your time - or late evening yesterday or something!) What a nice way to start the day, and I think of you every time I do anything from the AM/PM yoga DVD.

Mo - I am mighty jealous of your dinner at the Japanese restaurant. I assume you mean the kind where they cook right at (well, ON) the table and do flashy tricks with knives and flames?? WHEE!! And good for you on that cranberry juice. I'm sure that wasn't easy and I'm very happy for you. I bet you feel good today 1) sans hangover and 2) because you stuck to your guns. I bet "No" is missing you by now, eh?

LVT - I spoke with a lawyer pal of mine about that &%^# ticket. He believes he could most likely get me a not guilty if I request a trial (of course nobody can promise that) but it would still cost at least $500 for the lawyer time and if I DID get convicted it's worse on my record than if I just pay the fine. It sucks. Not that it will change anything, but I'm going to write a letter to the mayor and copy the chief of police and the local newspaper. Why are these guys more interested in tricking motorists and giving tickets at a scene like this rather than being HELPFUL to the public safety and giving motorists some guidance? Well, it's Illinois. What would a person expect? Maybe if it's a slow news day the reporter at the paper will take a peek to see how many tickets were issues at that intersection yesteray. I'm a troublemaker!

Oceans, welcome back! Wish I could have seen your avatar with YOU in it! (although the tube is very cool.

Speedster - boy I know what you mean about that mod thinking. It has a way of sneaking in there. I cannot allow myself ANY of that fantasy. Do you find it difficult to adjust your thinking about sports and exercise after having been a very serious athlete? I was a child athlete at a serious level and I've had some trouble in my adult life establishing a healthy, average sort of relationship with sports / exercise. (if that makes any sense - hard to put into words!)

Mary - I hope you enjoy your day with the g-kids and friends. Kids have such a fresh and honest way of viewing the world around them - I hope you can soak up that vibe today! Will the friends be some of those who now know about your drinking issues, or other friends? You don't have to talk about that of course unless you want to. I'm just hoping that things go very positively for you now that things are out in the open.

Cinders, you ARE keeping a busy schedule! I'm glad you are doing so well. Good for you!

I will be glad when today (especially the social event tonight) is over. I have figured out that I seem to have a deep resentment of evening business obligations. I think that goes back to the years on the corporate ladder having the energy sucked out of me all day long, and then the expectation on top of those days that my evenings belong to the company as well. I spent a lot of years doing the "mandatory" things and harboring a lot of resentment over it. Of course this situation is different - we have our own business now and my involvement in this organization is voluntary. But it's bringing up those same internal reactions.

Well, I'm sure a hard driving workout at Curves will help my mood! I will do boot camp again today too. Then I might stop by an AA meeting and see what it's all about.

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Hi Greenie! Too bad the show wasn't much of a show. LOL on the pumkin money bag though. This time of year shouldn't they be using one with 4-leaf clovers? I think St. Patrick's Day is the next Hallmark Holiday right? I'll be wishing I was with you tonight to share your peppermint ice cream. HEY - are you still letterboxing? I'd love an update on that!

AA - sounds like drinking and sports are (were) somehow wound up together for you too. For me it was more about rebellion as I quit my childhood sport - but drinking and other rebellious behavior was (is?) still wound up with sports for me. Hmmmm...

OK - now I'm really off for the day!

DG

[Cinders]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Oh My Gosh, I have been trying to be "up there" and "on top of this," but today I am not.

I need you guys.

No, you can't help me when I am driving to the liquor store, but you can help me now.

I love you guys. Help.

Give me some really good advice. Give me something I can do. I am bereft. Lost. I haven't been there for months but today I am.

Yes. My hubby said this morning to me, "It is always, 'me, me me'." Hubby does get it, doesn't he?

I am so sad to ask for help but I need it. I need it. Me, me me.

Help.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

What can we do to help you Cindi? Want to chat for a bit? I haven't tried chat in a long time but am willing to give it a go!

DG

[retteacher]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Everyone: I'm just getting ready to go out but had to check back. I think I feel the switch flipping back to a somewhat more normal frame of mind. It's not all about me. I have to let you of the self-pity. Enough is enough. I love you all more than I can express. Mary

[Mohun]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Good morning. Yes DG, I will be in better shape than most of my colleagues today. Saki hangovers are no fun.

Still adjusting to the time zone issue. But feeling good on day 3.

I will check in later.

Have a good day.

[LVT25]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Good morning friends!

We need more fighters like you in the world DG! It was totally unfair and you should make a stink! I understand about fighting the system though--it does suck!!

Greenie-sounds like the show you went to was more like a fund-raiser--say no more!

I have been keeping really busy and still have the BIL and SIL here. We went out to eat last night, and I did get just a little cranky trying to get the guys out of the bar and into the restaurant. I remember when it was me that was perfectly happy to drink my supper. They were late for supper the night before too, busy working on hubby's project. That's ok, we started without them, and BIL was well into his cup and was quite entertaining! :H I was kinda proud of DH though--he had managed to maintain.

SIL and I went shopping and out to lunch yesterday and it was fun. We hit the health food store, goodwill and UGG-Walmart. I did find some cute t-shirts for yoga on sale, so looking forward to that today. Also have a son in the spelling bee--proud mom.

Oh, I just remembered when we got to the bar/restaurant last night we were talking to a friend who asked me something about keeping up drinking beer with the guys. I told him I didn't drink beer anymore--haven't for 5 months. He said to my boys--"I'll bet she's a better mom, huh?" They agreed, but I'm not sure it's as obvious to them as it is to me. (They still think I can be a real B*&^H I'm sure!!)

Ok, gotta go. Baby calves to tag, etc. Laundry, yoga, spelling bee, etc, etc, etc...

Have a great day all!

P.S. I think Valentines day was my first AF holiday last year, followed by St. Patrick's day (Which was a biggie and a first) for me!!!:h

[caysea]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Hi Cindi
Something that helped me was using drink tracker.Sounds stupid right now but you might want to go and explore it and go back to the beginning of the month and start entering the 0 you have for the AF days. Will show you how you are doing and what you are giving up. It will occupy your mind in a positive way until the craving passes which it will.You will also see other people and how they are doing.

Sorry i am running out the door just happened to see your post. Quick idea

stay strong and keep fighting

AF 5-16-08

[A Work in Progress]

AF DAILY Wednesday February 18th 2009

Cindi, you still there?

What occurs to me... is that your husband is probably tired of this whole thing... and it hurts you a lot to hear this, yet you can no doubt understand where he is coming from. It is not that you are a self-centered person in your heart, but that this condition, this addiction, has consumed so much time and energy from you and from him. Can you let him have his anger, his feelings, and not let them send you into a tailspin? Maybe you can even join with him in being angry about how much this alcoholism has interfered with your lives?

The main thing: do NOT let it become a reason... or an excuse... to drink. This is an opportunity (a very tough one) to practice rolling with the (emotional) punches, and doing the next right thing, even when it is very very painful. Feel the feelings... and move through them... and let them pass. OK? Come back and tell us how you are doing. Please.