AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

[speedster]

marking early. haven't been first in a while.

I found this quote about perspective and the need for non-budy time to gain perspective:

"There are no perspective hacks. None. You just have to suck it up, live a little, and wallow in the mud of life. You have to get your hands dirty with this beautiful business of living. You have to question, meditate, and fail often. You simply have to make space for perspective and hope that it will come eventually. You have to spend time in a manner that would seem self-indulgent to most."

It's rainy today, I have chores to do and will go to the gym. I need to catch up on yesterday's posts.

DG how was dinner?

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Good morning speedster and thanks for getting us started today!

That's a very interesting quote. Getting one's hands dirty with the business of life. I haven't been stepping out there with any big risks (yet) I don't think. Or maybe I have. Boy I'm sure doing a lot of stuff that I simply could NOT have done AT ALL a year ago. Darkening the AA door step being the most recent LOL. I'm engaging in that program in a non-traditional way (wrong order of things) it seems! That's me though. Anyway...I'm rambling but that quote is very good food for thought. And after AA & Curves, Mr. Doggy will be away at dog training so I'm looking forward to a quiet day - good for thinking. (and reading that book!!)

The dinner featuring that ham is tomorrow. Thank goodness because I still have more questions!! Speedster, I love the pork and apple combo so would be interested in more details about what you suggested yesterday about apples and pearl onions. Where would I put those? (I'm a BEGINNER in the kitchen so need first grade level instructions!!) And thank you also to Mo and Det and Greenie and everyone who made suggestions! I don't have a smoker so that is out. Well, I guess you can technically smoke stuff on the grill, right? That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen at my skill level. So I'm going to stay focused on the oven.

Now. Low and slow. Would that be about 325 degrees F? I guess to an internal temp of about 160? This little guy weighs about 4.5 pounds so not a big ham. About how long should this take? Do I put it in the pan with the flat side down? (there is one flat side and the rest is rounded - I know this is the normal shape of a ham - just confirming that it is not "can shaped" or anything - aka not spam ham ) I read somewhere about cutting those little diamond shapes in it and schmearing a 1/2 and 1/2 mix of butter and honey all over it for the baking. Does that sound like a good idea? Det does garlic go with honey and butter? (no cloves - Mr. Doggy would leave me if I put cloves on it) Where would apples/pearl onions come into play? Or would I just make a separate sauce with that stuff for serving?

Sorry my questions are so 101!

Yesterday I cleaned the oven. How did I get to be this age and be so inexperienced with oven cleaning? Those self cleaning gizmos are pretty cool. I also made a white chocolate / rasberry cheesecake. The batter sure tasted good - Hope the cheesecake is right. Today I'm going to figure out how to make a rasberry sauce in that Vitamix amazing kitching gizmo. The other night I made pineapple / coconut ice cream in that thing and OMG was that amazing. Anyway.......

Gotta let my doggies out for their morning pee and then off I go. I'm loving everyone's cute dog pics and also the Wookie story. Mame I bet those kitties are so cute venturing out of their basket with Wookie trying to figure it out. How is blind momma doing - Is she keeping up with the little ones? I bet she has adapted in amazing ways.

Have an awesome AF day everyone! And thanks again for helping me figure out this ham business. I missed so much with my head stuck in the bottle.

DG

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Great quote, Speedster. I like it a lot. Fits well with a program in which we come out of the haze of alcohol into the nitty-gritty realization that THIS IS IT. This is our lives... Better experience them, NOW!

DG, my mother used to bake a great ham. She put it in a paper bag and baked it at maybe 300 degrees, certainly no higher than that, for several hours. About halfway through she'd take it out and score the fat side (which stayed on top, so no, you don't put the flat side down, it stays sideways in the pan) and put on a glaze made out of pineapple juice and brown sugar and probably cloves (sorry)) then she'd bake it some more. Maybe 4 hours altogether. It was great!

Snowing here. My dinner tonight with friends is being re-scheduled... they just got back from NY City and I just got home, too, we are all tired. So I am very happy to have a cozy snow day at home with just me and my beasties.

I hope everyone has a good day!

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Morning DG, WIP. Speester and all to follow.

Just a quick check in from me, masses of housework to do, ironing, tidying up - hope to get a swim in later, no real news here to bore you with, but i'll be back later

Have a great AF weekend everyone!!

[wellseasoned]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Speedster
Thanks for sharing the great quote - so TRUE!!

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Speedster, DG and all to come!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

DG, like you, I am always lost when it comes to cooking. I have to look up recipes, read, cogitate and the grill scares the crap out of me!!

However, a ham is easy. Truly.

I do "diamond" the ham, I put whole cloves in the midst of each diamond and I NEVER, EVER put sweet stuff on it. Ham is sweet enough all by itself.

Well, I never put sweet stuff on it because my hubby is borderline diabetic and I do like him to be able to eat, too. :-)

A slow oven, depending on the meat can range from 275 to 325 degrees.

I am a wussie girl, so I cook almost all my meats in a dark dutch oven with a lid. (Purchased from Walmart for $12.00 US) with a bit of liquid. Once I know the meat is cooked through, I then uncover it for 30 minutes until the top is browned. No one likes soggy meat!!

A ham cut in diamonds with the cloves "presents" beautifully and takes very little effort.

I like the "very little effort" thing.

Anyhow, today I am going to clean house, have 3 grandchildren over to spend the night, hold hubby's hand as often as possible, and enjoy life.

Love,
Cindi

[speedster]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

DG -- as WIP said 300 and no higher. I would pile the apples, pearl onions on top of and around the ham, and if you need to, add a 1/4 cup chicken broth (or water) to keep things moist. I would initially cook for 1 hr with it covered with foil. Remove foil and smear on one of the glazes (honey or brown sugar and probably cook for another 30-60 minutes. Not sure with a small ham. The turning and scoring sounds good. Remember cooking is an art and baking is a science.

As for the quote on perspective, for me it meant feel the emotions that AL use to hide. Feel frustration, disappointment, excitement unaccompanied by AL and gain perspective from that experience.

I'm doing volunteer paperwork - IRS filing etc. In the 'old days' I'd probably have thoughts of "later I deserve a beer for doing this..." NOT today! No more. Now I FEEL the drudgery and wallow in it. LOL

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

DG, my mom used to make stuffed pork chops with chopped up apples, onions and celery w/ sage & S&P. Really good combo. Also, when she cooked a ham she did a diamond cut like Cindy mentioned w/ cloves but she basted w/ a mix of coca-cola and a little mustard and maybe a bit of brown sugar?

Speedster, in the old days I'd have thought I deserve multiple drinks WHILE doing it.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Good morning all and hope your weekend is off to a wonderful start. Amazing to me that I can hear things in so many places that have meaning to me. Was watching Lord Of The Rings last night and heard a quote that resonated to me (forgive my poetic license in modifying it slightly)..

I wish this disease had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened!"

"So do all who live to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

So, I wish that I had never become an alcohokic, but I have. There is nothing that I can do about that now, but I do have a choice. I can either continue to wallow in self-pity or choose to work hard and build a life that I can be proud of.

Have a great day everybody!

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

I'm feeling a bit down this morning. I guess it's time to accept the fact that when I gave up my relationship with AL, I also gave up my relationship with my best friend, my husband.

He went to the bar last night (to sell tickets to a good cause) but failed to call me and let me know. I can deal with the bar as it doesn't happen very often, but it's the not knowing that gets to me-it always has-it probably always will. When he got home he hadn't given it a thought that I might be upset. He thought I knew him well enough to know that if he went in to the bar he would be home late and that he is not a child, and it's not like it is 2 in the morning or anything. In our early days he fought the idea of giving me a courtesy call as it reminded him of having to check in with his mom. I thought we were past that and that he had more respect for me than that. Guess not.

Anyway, life goes on, and we will too.

Today I'm going to a bridal shower and I will get to see some friends I've haven't seen in quite awhile. There will be smoking and drinking, and for awhile last night--I thought to myself what's the point of resisting--but I don't want to go backwards--it wouldn't make sense.

DG--Cindi is right about the ham. It's hard to screw up a ham, but I'm copying down all the great ideas for ham recipes.

Wishing everyone a great day.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Oh, and I watched "Things We Lost in the Fire" last night-alone. It's a pretty good movie, kind of a tear jerker.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Thanks to everyone for the ham tips! Dad is diabetic and neither one of us do any white refined sugar, so I gotta go easy on the sweet stuff even honey - good point Cindi! Although the honey is local which means it has healing properties (not sure about after it's cooked though!). But in any case Dad already makes an exception for limited amounts. So....hmmm...still thinking about it. But with all the good ideas you guys brought forward I at least know it will get cooked and hopefully not over or under cooked or all dried out in the process!

Paper bag eh? Never would have thought of that. It is making me wonder if I should use one of these cooking bags though. But maybe I'll go with the speedster / Cindi type solution to cover it for part then uncover it to brown. Now if I can just figure out what to do with the Deter Spice I'll be all set!

Greenie you've got me wanting pork chops now!!

LVT, I'm really sorry to hear about last night. It's been at least a couple months ago now but the last time I had some really STRONG drinking thinking was when Mr. Doggy went to the bar after dog training. He doesn't drink hardly anything so that wasn't a concern, but like you - I was hurt and pissed that he didn't bother to call me to let me know, discuss dinner plans, etc. And he didn't take his cell phone in with him so I couldn't reach him. Part of my thinking drifted to "I'll show HIM!!" Which is just plain stupid drinkin' thinkin'. I'm glad you didn't follow through with those thoughts since it wouldn't fix the problem anyway. I hope you are able to talk to him today and maybe reach some sort of understanding. But even if not, it's sure not worth drinking/smoking over. Still sucks though.

AA I love your quote and thought for the day.

WS good morning and happy Hangover Free Saturday!

Sausage it sounds like you have a busy day lined up. I hope you end up with some nice "me time" in the pool!

Well, now I'm off to figure out how to make some rasberry sauce. It's such a good day to be sober and hangover free!!!

DG

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

Happy Happy Saturday ABenators of the wild frontier!

it looks like springtime here today! wowsers, will be in the 60's the rabbits and squirrels are cavorting all over the yard as I'm typing, they always make me smile.

DG, garlic is fabu with fruity flavors, proceed with garlicky impunity! if you are coating the ham with honey I'd keep the temp no higher than 275 due to the tendency of honey to burn at high temps. lots of great advice here...so nice to be in the company of so many fellow foodies!

Great quotes as noted and good life thoughts to ponder today....thanks you guys. I'ts tempting to get mired in self-pity when our life long security blanket gets suddenly yanked out of our hands and we find ourselves feeling childish, selfish and even nutty. but indeed we get over it, and mercifully life goes on with it's bounty of wonderful surprises.

if the winds stay down I'm off to the shooting range for some 'decompression time'. and have gym today as well so this weekend is going to be great...and i'm home!

I may sneak out early and find an AA meeting too.....nice to have time to spare.

be well my friends

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

LVT - hugs to you. That has to be hard sitting there wondering....

Well, my dad called me out of the blue last night. I haven't heard from him for almost a year. He was pretty pissed off at me for long time. Kind of yo-yos in and out of my life these past 6 years.

Well , I posted this on the f*uck thread so I won't go into grate lengths about it. He had had a hard time swallowing so he went to his doctor only to discover he had a cancerous tumour which was caused by years of acid reflux. He had it taken out and thankfully it didn't spread. Apparently it was really big and they thought it had. But after several tests and a cat scan it looked to be localized. He had it taken out on Jan. 26.

It could come back.... only time will tell. What pisses me off is why no one got in touch with me? I asked him last night, "what if you had of died? Would I have ever known?" He said that he couldn't stop thinking about me while he was laying there. He didn't want for me to see him in that state with tubes hanging out of his body, etc. He said that if he had of died; his wife would have phoned. I was thinking WTF! I told him it is time to let go of the past. To let go of the ego. He then said that life is too fragile. Blah, blah, blah. I am happy that he wants to make ammends. I am going over to his house on Monday for dinner with the little one.

It is so sad that it takes something really bad to make one realize that life is too short. His abandoning me has really hurt me. BUT who knows how much time we have left on this earth.

I am really starting to appreciate my sobriety now. It wasn't too long ago I would have been drunk and wouldn't have answered the phone. I am really starting to realize how important it is to stay sober and live healthy.

So, I am feeling so happy to have my dad back and a little mad for not being told until now. The happiness certainly outweighs my anger.

Life is getting better and better as the days go on. I am a happy, sober, camper!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday, February 28

AFM, very well done in the face of adversity!