AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

[hiddengoal]

Good Morning All! It is already 6:30 AM Eastern and no thread started yet?! Wow - sleepy morning.

Anyway, day 20 here for me. I made it through the weekend and all the family gathering events for my Mother-in-law's funeral. It was truly a great family time full of tears and laughter, but mostly a theme of Honor for a great lady. Days were long - an 8 hour visitation ending with a lovely prayer service, then resuming in the morning before the funeral and burial. I experienced a sense of community like a dream.

This is a family that drinks and plays cards in to the night, but not this weekend. There were beers shared by many, but absolutely no temptation for me, as I am a wine person. I could have, I would have, and did in prior events, get my own bottle and sip along with everyone. But I didn't.

There was an unexpected temptation when we arrived at our lodging for the weekend. There was one bottle of a nice Chardonnay (a fav) in the wine rack and it would be visible in that rack on the kitchen counter all weekend. I didn't remember leaving it there and it was the first bottle I have seen in the last 2.5 weeks. Would it be a temptation? - Not this weekend - it is still in the rack waiting for some other time.

Funny thing, when we got home after all the events and then the 5 hour drive, THAT is when I wanted to sit with a glass of wine - unwind after the long weekend. We were tired, but not from activity, but from why we gathered. Well, I took a bath, popped some popcorn and had a gingerale instead. Then I went to bed early. Pretty boring, but pretty sober.

I was really ready to rationalize that it 'wouldn't be a problem to drink this weekend because people do that when a loved one dies and you are gathered. And anyway, I have not declared I am quitting for good....yet"...BUT, I did say I WOULD do a 30 day AF. So that was it - I am sticking to my word. I will do the 30 - worry about the rest later.

Ok, need coffee. I hope all is well with all here HG

[dill]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Hi everybody!

Hidden, good job on the AF weekend! I would have had the same reaction to getting home. Good for you for pushing the cravings away!

Tail end of yesterday's thread: Hi, Sweaty. My two cents is that the alc is probably the difference. It is a nevous system depressant, after all. CS04, hang around here and post at will! We are all here for the same reason. Hi, hula! Wow, the thought of floating in the briney sea and then a nap! Marvelous!

Thanks to all who offered me words of encouragement yesterday. It helped a great deal!:thanks:

DG, you inspired me to put up one of my dog/tongue pix! Allow me to introduce Kela. She was probably thinking deep thoughts about catching a fresh bunny or something!

Good day to all!

[com1]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

I read someplace that several had a lot of trouble on AF day 4. I am now on AF day 5 but yesterday was a bitch for an hour or so in the late afternoon. I was really doing some justifying for a beer or two or twenty when I sat down and finished watching Rain in My Heart on YouTube. No more cravings at all after the visual assist from the documentary.

Happy to be awake sober and not hungover once again.

Com1

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Hi Everyone: I hope all is well. I have to run, but wanted to check in. Mary

[Chief]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Good job, Go2!

Day 8 here and all is well. Worked outside in the yard all weekend....more to do today.

Spring is finally here in Ohio....

Don

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Way to go, Chief!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Ahoy! no hangovers in sight and happy Monday!!!

HiddenGoal, thanks for the kickstart and the great success story. Many times in my years on MWO have I witnessed a member do very well in the face of adversity on a trip, only to come back home and THEN relapse. it's so weird! so glad you didn't fall for it.

CS, wonderful to see you here. I'm glad to see you reach out. let us help you ok? Please tell us how your doing today. Make sure the al is out of your system before taking the antabuse! but I agree, antabuse can be a really helpful tool, as it was for me in the beginning.

Com1 and Chief, high-five on the AF days!

Wel shucks, I don't have any doggy pictures let alone 'tongue sticking out pictures'. hmmmmm

Took care of a friend in need this weekend whos hurting bad after losing his wife. so our weekend was pretty quiet and a bit gloomy but it was the right thing to do and really picked up his spirits.

be well everyone and all the late-comers to come!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Happy Monday! Thank you HG for kick starting us today. Congrats on keeping your promise to yourself through a weekend where it would have been easy to NOT keep your promise to yourself. "Honesty" is growing in significance to me as part of my recovery. I think we have to be honest with ourselves first before we can truly tackle being outwardly honest.

CS04, I hope you are feeling better today. No matter how impossible it might seem, there IS a way out for all of us. We have to keep exploring and trying new strategies until we crack the code. I hope you are working at your sobriety today no matter how difficult it seems. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Dill, now you KNOW I LOVE LOVE LOVE your new avatar of Keta!!!! Yes...dreams of bunny chasing.

Welcome bdd and congrats on your decision to do 30 days AF. YOU CAN DO IT.

Congrats Com1 on Day 5. Yes, I too struggled around the Day 3-5 zone. Just hang in there. Short of someone tying you up and pouring booze down your throat, you don't have to say "yes" to the urges. Just keep saying "NO!" one urge at a time.

Mary - I just read your post from yesterday about drinking to make chores more "fun." I always had a drink before trying to tackle chores, and now I'm trying to even remember what I thought the booze was supposed to do for me. I don't think my thinking was about "fun," but it was about affecting chores somehow, and for the life of me I haven't a clue at this moment. The end result for me was not doing the chores at all most of the time, but there must have been some other lie I was telling myself. Sheesh! No wonder my house / yard / life was a mess. I thought of the South Park episode about the underpants knomes. If you have seen it, did you think it was hilarious? I was reminded of the "business plan" which was:

1. Steal underpants.
2. ???????
3. Make profits.

That's the sort of questions marks in my head about my "business plan" for chores as it pertains to the drinking part of it. :H

Congrats Chief on Day 8! So what are you up to in your yard this spring?

More from yesterdays thread...

Lavande, I think spending time with your grandson sounds like wonderful motivation for sobriety. What a gift to him!!!

Speedster - I'm hoping for a sunny day for your garden. I would be sick to my stomach if all my stuff was at risk of rotting. Although mother nature is what it is and I better get mentally ready for good times and bad if I am to become any kind of gardener!

Marshy I am so laughing about your drunken painting story. I would be lucky if streaks on the wall were the only problem - and that's if I tried painting while sober!!

Hula, your bike / swim sounds heavenly. Where has Mame been lately? She could certainly relate to that! Yes - I'm not sure how exciting gardening would seem if we didn't have winter break to look forward to!

LVT - I just planted green and yellow beans a couple days ago. If they grow and I get beans, I will be coming back to ask for your canning method!

Cindi - congrats on the back jack tourney!! Sounds like sober will be the way to go in order to do well there. I like your gardening strategy - using this time where you CAN'T garden (but how frustrating!) to build up your beds for an even better season next year. Also, thank you for the mention of compost which reminded me to ask at the garden center today about a compost.....thingy. What do you call those things anyway? It the barrel type thing on a stand where you have a crank and turn it.

Det - if weeds get you excited all I can say is don't come to my house - you would have a stroke.

R2C I am sending you positive vibes for doggy2C and Dad2C.

lilmia - WOW a pond????? You are talented! Yes, I found it impossible to garden with a drink in one hand and a ciggy in the other. I guess that's why I'm only in Kinder Garden now..... :H Wow. A pond. I can only dream of the day...

Sweaty B - Mr. Doggy and I have had what seem like similar themed conversations about my moods when drinking and when not drinking. I have no idea if alcohol affects you in a similar way mood wise. But I always thought on the inside that a few drinks made me more cheery / perky / whatever the right word is. Mr. Doggy says it may have done that temporarily, but also made me more sharp tongued where I would turn on a dime into bitch mode at the least provocation. This is without even getting into what I was like when shit faced drunk. This is just after a few drinks. It's funny because I never saw it / felt it that way. But he has convinced me that from his perspective (and probably anyone else's too) it was true. I hope you get it all figured out. It can be very strange when what another person is seeing in you is not at ALL what you think you are doing.

I think I got everyone but if not, please accept my apologies! And hello to all yet to come today.

I posted some stuff on the AA thread and won't repeat here other than to say my Dad is really going down hill fast. Mom & Dad came by yesterday with a couple of baby fruit trees for Mr. Doggy's birthday - it's become an annual ritual. I wish I had known that last year was the last time my Dad would be able to walk the yard viewing the previously planted trees, and selecting spots for the new trees, and then planting them with Mr. D. Dad had to sit in a chair very near the car. He couldn't even walk over on the flat pavement to see my new garden, which he would have loved to do. (and I would have loved his advice!) Even more sad was that he brought 3 trees this year. The extra one was the one he bought for himself. He said "I just can't do it any more." I am working very hard on acceptance and serenity in all matters pertaining to Mom and Dad. It's a lot better than worrying and getting agitated and aggravated over things that haven't even happened yet. They will be coming again next Sunday for Mother's Day and I must make a better effort to spend more time especially with Dad.

In other news, we finished the garden expansion project yesterday and I went to the garden center today and have 3 flats of plants to put in today / tomorrow. Several kinds of tomatoes and peppers, cantalope, watermelon, eggplant, 3 kinds of cucumbers, zuchini, summer squash. I hope I can keep some of it alive long enough to produce!

In addition to the compost contraption I'm also thinking about getting a barrel for catching rain, but has the built in gizmo to attach a hose to it. (LOL the "added value" over a simple barrel!) Anyone use one of those gizmos?

Well, I have a lot of business work work to do, then a lot of garden work to do. So I best get busy. Happy sober Monday to one and all!!!

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Deter, that really was kind of you and Dx to spend time with your friend lifting his spirits. I'm sure it meant a lot to him. I have a LONG way to go to get to some unselfish place. Thank you for setting a good example and for sharing.

DG

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Quick check in from me

It's been a bank (public) holiday here in UK so no school / work. The weather's not been too good, no exciting news really, just playing with the kids at home and a trip to the rubbish tip!

Still sober! - I'll be back later

[lilmea]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Good Evening Everyone,

I took everything out of my bedroom and washed it and dried it outside on the clothesline. Now everything in that room smells all sunny bright.

DG-what you said about your father really struck a cord with me. My Mother is 89 and almost never leaves the house. But when I was first putting out my flower beds she would come over and sit and talk to me while I worked. I'm glad that I had that time. I too, am working on that acceptance of what the future holds.

I'm sorry I don't have time to address everyone individually. Everyone is sounding strong. Have a good and peaceful evening.

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

DG for some strange reason that "underpants gnome" story struck me as so funny I almost did my pants!!! whew. I needed a good snorting laugh.

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Hi - quickly popping onto the end of the thread again.

DG you were eerily accurate in the description of my 'moods', thank you for sharing.

I exercised fairly late last night which seemed to help with any cravings.

I have a busy day ahead so must fly - catch up later. Bx

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Monday - May 4, 2009

Thank God for Hamburger Helper!!:H

Another busy day for me, enjoyable yet tiring. I loved reading everyone's posts. DG--yours brought tears to my eyes when you spoke of your dad. I watched both my parents die from cancer, and it was especially hard to watch my once big, hard working farmer of a man (think John Wayne size or Andy Griffith) wither and die. He went from 220# to I think 145 when he passed. Really seems it sucks to get old. Cherish the time you have left and look forward to the day when you'll see him again as he once was. (Sorry didn't mean to get religious on ya!)

Our Pastor recommended a book to me called "Once a Month Cooking". I bought a copy the other day and might try it out. It just gets too late to get a decent meal ready right now!

CS! Where are you? We're thinking about you........:h