Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:
Thus begins a new week w/the AA thread. I just read the remaining posts of yesterday's thread. They were excellent.

PP: We talked about stepping up meetings when things were difficult. They are a healthy alternative to drinking. That conversation w/your drinking buddy was probably difficult. If I told my (normal) drinker friends about AA, they'd probably say "Don't call yourself an alcoholic!" That's because they don't know the extent of my drinking. You're doing great. Keep it up.

Last night's Big Book meeting was excellent. The story was one of the extreme ones where the person really bottomed out. However, we could all identify. One of the last sentences was "I could not stop alone..." meaning he needed AA & some kind of higher power. I feel the same way. I tried & tried to stop alone, & even w/some AF time under my belt, I kept going back to drinking.

I must miss my women's meeting tonight due to b-sitting duties, but I'll go tomorrow night. I don't let more than one day go by. I know I need AA, & I know I need MWO...at this point anyway.

Mary

PS: Thank you one & all for last week's thread. It was wonderful

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

By the way, there was a young woman I see at meetings once in a while. She really objected to the outdatedness of the reading in the Big Book. I've heard her say that in the past. I too have noticed that it's not up to the 21st century standards. However, I try to translate in my mind & tailor it to fit my needs. AA was founded in the 1930's, so the sensibility is from that era. I think Bill W. realized later on that woman drink too much too. We just keep it hidden better.

I was young at the birth of the women's movement, worked all my life, & consider myself liberated. However, I realize that AA's message applies to everyone, regardless of the trappings.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

At the end of last week's AA thread, Gyco mentioned "the easier softer way." I went that route. It didn't work. I had to go hard-line. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Hi all. I just pushed a wrong button by accident, and lost one of my novellas. I guess whatever I was blathering on about was not meant to be published LOL! At least not today.

Welcome to Rusty!

PP, I'm really proud of you for doubling up on meetings and doing what you have to do to stay sober in the aftermath of the burglary and also the disappointing discussion with your friend. I remember vividly when one of my very good drinking buddies quit drinking and joined AA about 15 years ago. I was all about telling her she was NOT an alkie! In my case, I was saying it because if she was an alkie, then clearly so was I and NO WAY was I ready for that. Not saying that is the case in your situation, but it's a possible scenario that I imagine happens quite a bit. Whatever the reason, I'm glad you put your sobriety first because that's just what we have to do. I am still friends with my old drinking buddy. We don't talk often (we live many states away now, and have for years) but we seem to pick right up where we left off when we DO talk. And I have told her that I am an alkie and stopped drinking and all that jazz. So these things do not necessarily spell The End of friendships- things just might have to change a bit especially in the short term.

The vision of living under a bridge as the golden standard for REAL alcoholics always makes for good discussion. Especially when this topic comes up at the Alano club where I go, and the guy who actually DOES live under a bridge is there to contribute his two cents on the matter LOL. (this guy was actually NOT living under the bridge when he quit drinking - that came about 5 years later and he has been living "under a bridge" for about 6 years now sober the whole 11 year time and working to help the alkies and druggies under there, which is nearly everyone according to him - someday I want to learn more of his story as I bet it's one of the more interesting ones) I am very grateful that my "bottom" was somewhere above bridge level. But I know each and every day that the only thing standing between where my bottom was and some lower bottom was more time. That's all. I was headed in that direction as surely as I'm headed in a new direction today. It's always interesting to be around the tables where during a meeting, we are all absolute equals regardless of profession, lifestyle, sobriety time, or anything else.

Anyway, I am enjoying working through the steps useing Barefoot Bill's study guides A.A. Way of Life - Intro to "Working the Steps". His references back to the Big Book are very thorough and interesting, especially as it pertains to pulling together the parts of Bills story that relate to each one. I guess that's the historian wanna be in me!

Well, I'm going to post novella #2 before this one goes poof! Have a great day everyone - and hello to all from the tail end of last weeks thread.

DG

[AAthlete]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Mary, as much as some of the writing in the BB appears to be outdated, I am still astounded how the thoughts and feelings conveyed in that book translate into the real world today. The Four Horseman used to be as real for me as they were for Bill back in the 30's.

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

I went to my meeting last night. Something that struck me was that although there are lots of different people there and that we're all there for the same reason, the dynamics are much the same as any other group of people. There will be some you connect with immediately and some who sort of get on your nerves a little. Not to say I would ever be impolite or rude. It's just the way it is.

The meeting started of with the Chair and the Sharer introducing themselves and handing over to a man who read the preamble. He had trouble getting the words out and I assumed he had a speech impediment. Turns out he was drunk and had to leave half-way through to go and get some more. I was a little shocked at this, being relatively new to AA, but it occured to me later that this fellow is perhaps as struggling an alcoholic as there is and that judging him in his weakness is not the right thing to do. I can only hope that next time he comes, he will be sober.
Also, there was a poor lady who had just lost her son. He had died the week before and she lost her husband to drink a year ago. She was in a terrible state, suicidal at times and really struggling not to drink. It was heartbreaking and yet another reminder if one were needed of the poisonous, distructive effects of alcohol abuse.

On a brighter note, I asked around about how I'd go about getting a sponsor and was told that if I was happy with the group, to claim it as mine. There's no enrolling process. I just make myself part of the group then look around and if I find someone that I feel a connection to, or who I feel would be the right person, to approach them and just ask. That seems as good a way of doing it as any. There are a couple of guys who fit the bill, as it werem but I'll give it a few weeks and make sure everything feels right.

I'm still feeling good in myself, and my enthusiasm for my sobriety is as strong as ever. I keep waiting for the bad feeling to arise; cravings and temptations, but so far things are going well and I'll not be compaining if this is the way it stays.
I'm really glad to be sober. Control of my life is back in my own hands and that's how I'm going to keep it.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Hi Everyone: Popeye, I too am really feeling grateful for meetings & for my sobriety. The AAers talk about the "pink cloud." Maybe I'm on it. I too am amazed at how timeless many of the messages in the AA literature are. Also, I have been at meetings where there were drunk people. It's somewhat disconcerting, but the old-timers seem to take it in stride. We've all been there, so perhaps the kindness that is offered to the inebriated one will sink in, & he/she will wake up to the AA message.

DG, I never fell terribly low in the eyes of the world, but I lived under a bridge in spirit. I had no home & no anchor. I couldn't appreciate any of the good things I had in life. That I found MWO & AA is a complete miracle. I like the Barefoot Bill's step guide. I'm working the steps w/my sponsor, but I can see that once I complete them that way, Barefood Bill could be an excellent maintenence tool.

Love, Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Greetings all, I'm on the road again this week. Always a slippery place for me. Houston this week at MD Anderson cancer clinic. My brother who is 60 is going through evaluation for the cancer he has been fighting since 2001. He has cut down on his beer consumption to about 12 per day instead of 24. Right now there are 14 beers in the refrigerator here at the hotel, yikes!! I'm taking it one day at a time, went to a local meeting last night and it helped a lot.

I have only 13 AF days so far thus I'm new in this battle, but determined to make it.
Have a great day y'all,
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Wishing you and your brother well.
Stay strong Phil.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Phil: I'm not sure what to say about your situation. All you can do is be there for your brother & stay sober yourself. Why do you have 14 beers in the hotel fridge? I'd never be able to resist that. Find meetings. There are probably a few right in your brother's hospital. Go & take him w/you. 12 beers a day can't be good for a person w/cancer. You've been doing so well. Once you get a little more sobriety under your belt, the cravings ease up. Then you'll begin to see your life reshape itself. I can tell just by your sharings what a good & wonderful person you are (no objections, yes you are). If you take care of yourself, the situation w/your brother will take on a new perspective. Good luck. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Phil: 13 AF days is pretty darned good. You've gotten through the absolute worst (that first week). Mary

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Hello to everyone! popeye, your enthusiasm is beaming through your post. Hold on to it!

I just got back from the 7:30am meeting this morning where I picked up my 30 day chip! It felt really, really great and I am quite pleased with myself. I don't think i've gone a full 30 days since i was pregnant which is about 6 years ago. Even when I started MWO and was doing the prescribed 30 days I am almost certain that I cheated here and there. My MO is to give in either at day 3 or two weeks. That was always the point where I declared that I can moderate successfully.

The woman who spoke at today's meeting is 17 years sober and she told a very powerful story. She is well to do and she left her nice home to do 6 months of treatment and work a few weeks at McDonalds. Once she was home and sober two of her children became addicts. One has been clean for 8 years and one died of an overdose. Even after his death, she did not go back to drinking. All her AA buddies rallied around her and got her throught it. It was an amazing story.

Have a happy, sober day everyone!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Hello everyone!

Congratulations PP on earning your 30 day chip! Your post made me smile! Thank you for sharing the story you did about the woman in your group who lost a child to an overdose, but somehow stayed sober with the support of her AA comrades through the ordeal. That is such an excellent reminder that there is NO good reason to drink again, and that long term sobriety CAN be achieved no matter what the circumstances. To me, that story gives me hope!

Phil, congratulations on 13 days sober. YOU CAN DO THIS. I bet it's interesting going to meetings on the road - just the different people and all. I will keep both you and your brother in my thoughts and try to send some good vibes your way. What Mary said!!!

Popeye, I always find these meetings filled with such a range of inspiration as well as reminders of where I came from and where I could all too easily end up again. You sound terrific. It also seems like you are taking things at a very sensible pace in terms of deciding what place AA has in your live, and getting more involved as it feels right. Kudos! I also like your honesty about these groups of folks being like any others - I know I certainly feel more affinity to some than to others. There is one person who is like finger nails on a chalk board for me (thankfully there aren't many of those at all so far!!). Guess who sat next to me today??? I'm sure that happened for a reason too. It sure got me out of my chair volunteering to pour coffee and serve the cake someone brought in for a birthday.

Mary I love how you equate the "living under a bridge" saying to a spiritual rather than physical thing. "Duh" moment for me!! If all you do all day is either drink, plan to drink, or be hungover from drinking and your mood ranges from miserable to suicidal, then it doesn't matter what sort of house you live in (or not) or clothes you wear now does it? Excellent point and I thank you for sharing that! I was living deeply under the bridge.

One of the reasons I'm finding the Barefoot study guides helpful is that I am my sponsor's first sponsee as it turns out, and I wasn't getting the clarity of direction I needed. To complicate matters, my sponsor's sponsor is in the latter stages of terminal cancer so is sadly, not able to spend very much time talking with any of her beloved AA friends, much less provide very much counseling to her sponsees. Of course my sponsor has another person she is working with, but I'm sure new relationships of that sort are making things a bit more challenging than working with someone who is familiar. So it's a little more complicated than the average sponsor/sponsee situation seems to be from my limited vantage point. But all things happen for a reason and I think there is a reason for this too. It has been very good for me (although uncomfortable at times as you know!) to stick with it and not work to make a change. But I just keep thinking it's important for me to not use any of the circumstances mentioned as an excuse to "run" which is my nature to do. Long way of saying that my sponsor doesn't have a well defined formula yet for coaching the steps. But that's OK - part of the benefit of AA is the cumulative years of existence of the program and wealth of knowledge within - it's not hard to find information on how to approach the steps.

It's a gorgeous day here and I think I'll go water some things on the porch and maybe in the garden if needed!

Have a great day all..

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

PP: Keep getting those chips...it's a real incentive.

DG: I get hung up on doing the program "the correct way." That kind of perfectionism is one of my other "isms." Whatever you do...whether it's going along w/your sponsor or doing the Barefoot guide is fine or both. It's the work & effort that count the most. I'm glad to be working w/a sponsor, but eventually, I'll go through the steps again & again. I'm planning on using the Barefoot guide at some point. It's all good.

My husband went w/me to a speaker meeting last night. What struck me about last night's meeting was the gratitude in the responses to his talk. He's a guy who is now working w/vets at the VA hosp. Before his alcoholism he was on top, accomplising a lot in his profession & earning plenty of money & then slid into hopelessness & homelessness. It's amazing how the disease can take a person down to his/her lowest level.

Anyhow, I'm grateful to be sober today.

Love, Mary

PS: Hi Phil & Popeye

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 18 - 24

Morning y'all. I'm still hanging in there. Went to another meeting here in Houston last night. My brother gets his results tomorrow morning at MD Anderson. Today I will attempt to work and watch him drink beer.
Love and Peace,
Phil